Writer Anon short

Well Mr. Snowshine, you get the good ole' deus ex machina. I mean seriously, what are the chances of Celestia riding by your house at the exact time you're being robbed by some gryphons?

>You are Anonymous, and you are busy putting the finishing touches on the finale of a series of short stories

>Sure, Equestria hasn't been the greatest source of inspiration, but going from magic being fantasy to reality really opens up you're options on writing short stories on every day occurrences

>It also helped these ponies had never heard of deus ex machina, or even thought anything odd when it did happen

>Hell, the one time you opened a history book you thought it was fiction, it was absolutely riddled with happy endings out of left field

And, done. I should probably warn Twilight I didn't proof these though.

>You write a final little reminder on the top-most page of a decent size stack of papers before tying it all together with some string

>As you walk to the library you feel the tension and cramps from sitting in your chair for hours leave you

>The sun is shining, smiling ponies are out and about, and you completed the first works to come out of your pen since you got writer's block

>A small celebration should be in order; maybe a visit by AJ's cart to buy some cider will do

>Eventually you reach Twilight's tree-brary and give several knocks

>The door opens after a few seconds to reveal none other than the exact dragon you wanted to see

Hey Spike. Think you can give this to Twilight for me?

>He tilts his head a bit to the side before replying, "Sure, but you know you can hand them to her yourself right? She's just in-"

>You raise a hand to interrupt him

I'm sure she's busy doing something and this isn't important enough to warrant interrupting her. Just give it to her when she's done, she should know what it is. Also I had some plans at the market I'd like to get to.

>Like a bottle of fine apple alcohol

 

 

>"Well if you say so. Later," he responds as he takes the stack from you and closes the door

>Twilight's a nice pony, but you didn't want to get roped into the usual hour long talk of literature from your world

>Not when there's cider to be had

 

>Many hours, you sit comfortably reclined on your couch nursing the spoils of war

>You had to haggle for almost ten minutes to get a good deal on this hooch and it will NOT go to waste

>Unfortunately there is a very loud knocking at your door that has been trying to ruin your good time for the past several minutes

>Stumbling over to the door you open it to get a good look at who would decide tonight of all nights to invite themselves over

What are you doing here Twilight?

>"Anon! We have to talk. Wait, are you drunk?"

I plead the fifth.

>She glances from you to the bottle in your hand and squints a bit

>"...So you drank it until there was a fifth left? Is that a human thing?"

>Your free hand meets your face and Twilight takes the opportunity to walk right past you into the living room

>Shutting the door quietly you turn to face the purple unicorn who has decided to spread papers all over your floor

Twilight, that better not be literature, because as much as I love talking to you, I'm trying to celebrate not having to think or worry about writing for a day.

>"But that's exactly what I need to talk to you about! How do you know all these ponies? And when did you write all of it?"

Seriously, this isn't the..

>Well, you WERE going to explain to her this wasn't the right time to talk about all that

>But your inebriated state has made you vulnerable to that heart-wrenching look she's giving you

>Careful not to step or fall on the papers on the way, you plop yourself down on the couch and make a heavy sigh

I don't know any of those ponies, it's fiction. I wrote them all this morning. Well, technically some of last night and this morning.

>Twilight scrunches up her face at that

 

 

>"But all this actually happened!"

Look, all of those stories take place in Canterlot, a place I've never been to. Tell me how I could know any of them if I've never been to Canterlot. I thought I was the one drinking, did you take some salt before you came over here?

>She puffs her cheeks out at that, "Anon! I'm being serious. I got a letter from Princess Celestia today wondering if there were any gryphons or minotaurs in the area and to be careful if there were. She caught a lot of really bad guys about to do stuff to ponies. And SOMEHOW you have a written account of ALL of them with every detail."

That's cool and all, but I'll reiterate I've never been outside of Ponyville. Unless you come up with some kinda magic explanation fo-

>"THAT'S IT."

>You wince a bit at the sudden change in volume

What? Is it?

>"You must have some kind of magic with writing, that has the be it. You wrote about it, so it came true."

>This fucking mare

You know what. In a world of vibrantly colored talking ponies that can shoot magic out of horns and use wings not even half their size to fly and move clouds, that sounds like an incredibly plausible hypothesis.

>You hope she catches your sarcasm

>It'd be blatantly obvious to anyone back home

In fact, I think I'll test it right now.

>"Wait what? Anon that doesn't sound like such a good idea."

Nonsense! You love science, and there's no time like the present!

>"Okay, I get that you don't believe me but let's not do anything crazy here."

>Standing up and walking to your desk just a few steps away, you take out your papers and begin tapping your pen in your hands

Hmmm, what to write, what to write?

>Twilight has moved behind you and put a single hoof on the desk

>"I-I believe you Anon, it was...just a coincidence. Yeah, just a one in a million chance. So, please put the pen down."

It's gotta be something that would never happen... I got it!

 

 

>Twilight tries to plea one more time, "Anon, remember, let's not do anything crazy now.."

>Oh but you need to show her how it's just stupid fictional stories

>You begin scribbling and voicing the same words you're writing so Twilight knows EXACTLY what is being put on the paper

Twilight gazed longingly at the human in the room. She felt as though she had finally found the one being in the world that could fulfill her need. It was a need she had repressed since her first heat. But now, upon seeing the human, the burning desire now raged within her heart to mate until they were both so exhausted they'd pass out in each others embrace.

>That ought to shut her up

>You put the finishing touches on it and turn to Twilight with the paper in hand

See? Harmless fun?

>Suddenly without warning you're pushed back onto the couch, your clothes seem to be trying to fly off your body

>"Oh Anon, I never knew you felt that way about me. But don't worry, I feel that way about you. I never realized what was missing until tonight, but now I know precisely what I need."

>Too weak to fight the stronger pull on your clothes, you're eventually rendered naked when Twilight shoves her face right in front of yours

>Her pupils seems to have shrunk to pin-pricks but her eyes are half lidded in contrast and she has a sultry smile plastered on her face

>"I'm gonna rut you so hard," is all she says before her mouth meets yours

>Her tongue intertwines and fights for dominance with yours, but as hers is much longer and smoother it ends up occupying most of the space in your mouth

>During the skirmish in your mouth she moved herself in perfect position on top of you, you're erect member pointed directly at her waiting folds

 

 

>You're about to pump this mare into oblivion when your door is blown off its hinges

>Princess Celestia stands amidst the wreckage of your door with you and Twilight staring with mouths agape

>"I'm terribly sorry about this Anon, but I'll make sure Twilight is back to her normal self in the morning."

>Her horn begins glowing and magically lifts Twilight off you

>"No! I need this. Tell her Anon!"

>But you simply sit dumbfounded as Celestia drags a kicking and screaming Twilight off into the night

>Picking yourself off the couch you walk over to where the paper you wrote on has fallen

>Apparently without thinking, your "finishing touches" included an interruption from the princess, just like every other story has had

Well I'll be damned.

>Twilight was right

>Not bothering with your door or clothes you bring the paper back to your desk and grab your pen

>With a perverted smile on your face you begin writing the intro to a new story, one which won't have a deus ex machina and that EVERY pony involved will enjoy

I think I'll let Celestia have the first honors.