- >>You are exhausted
- >>And at work
- >>Your eyes are heavy, they feel like they will close at any second
- >>Black marks linger below them
- >>Worst still, you still have a black eye
- >>Your entire weekend was spent trying to outmaneuver this nightmare
- >>Lyra was running you ragged
- >>And whenever she approached you, BonBon popped out of NOWHERE and destroyed you
- >>At least now you have some peace and quiet
- >>Just washing dishes
- >>Wash, rinse, dry
- >>Wash, rinse, dry
- >>Repetitive, but easy
- >>You got in to work before anyone else
- >>Mostly because you wanted to dodge Lyra this morning
- >>You had just finished up cleaning all of last night's dishes and cleaning up all the cooking surfaces when Pinkie Pie came down the stairs, yawning
- >>“Ayauh...”
- >>Her yawns were kind of cute.
- >>“Hey, Anon. Wait... Anon?”
- >>You look from your station over to where the sound came from
- >>Nothing
- >>“What are YOU doing here so early?”
- >>The sound came from behind you
- >>You whirl around
- >>She's gone
- >>“Silly! There's no party today!”
- >>You toss a look over your shoulder and find nothing
- >>You look forward again, and her head fills your vision – upside down
- Gah!
- >>You stumble back
- >>“So what are you doing here so early?! Huh, huh, huh?”
- >>It's way too early for this shit
- Pinkie, please
- >>A hand clutches your chest as you breathe deep, recovering from the scare
- >>“Sorry! But you still haven't answered my question!”
- >>She bounces in circles around you, her eyes closed in that cartoony expression of glee
- >>You weren't a fan of being interrogated
- >>But Pinkie was sort of your friend, you guess
- >>Even if you hardly knew her
- >>Well, on second thought, she DID come to see you in the hospital
- >>And before that, she DID sing you that welcome song
- >>Even if it scared the consciousness right out of you
- Just felt like getting an early start, is all.
- >>You were still a man of few words
- >>Since day one, you didn't like talking too much
- >>Sometimes it got on their nerves, you noticed
- >>Sometimes Twilight mutters to herself about how taking your comprehension spell away would not make a difference
- >>But that's okay. You like Twilight, and at the end of the day she likes you
- >>And you can get really talkative with Rainbow
- >>You almost fail to notice Pinkie Pie stretching her neck out to look you in the eye
- >>She is now a Giraffe. Nice.
- >>She probably senses your unease. Apparently you are easier to read than you'd like to be
- So, why are YOU up to early?
- >>“Oh, that's easy you silly-filly!”
- I'm not a filly.
- >>She continues talking
- >>“I live here! And instead of paying rent, I just do some things for Mr. and Ms. Cake”
- I'm not silly, either.
- >>“It's like doing chores, really! I also get all the cake I can eat! Oh, and Ice cream, and cookies, and...”
- >>It always felt like you were having two different conversations
- Wait, what?
- >>“...I also get a workshop where I get to make things! Like my party cannon! And my welcome wagon!”
- >>She continued, throwing her eyes left to right and lifting her hooves as she listed the merits of her housing
- You live here?
- >>“And Mr. and Ms. Cake are so nice! They even pay me for the work I do! It's so...”
- They're not your parents are they?
- >>“What?”
- >>Finally, we're getting somewhere
- >>You learned a long time ago that trying to halt Pinkie was futile
- >>Best to just keep talking and wait until she loses track and focuses on you
- You said you live here. The Cakes' aren't your parents, are they?
- >>Pinkie's lips were blown out
- >>“PFFFT! No, silly-filly”
- I'm not silly.
- >>“I lived on a rock farm outside of Ponyville. It was boring, there were no colors or anything!”
- And I'm pretty sure I'm older than you.
- >>Here she goes again
- >>“All we did all day was roll rocks around. I never did find out why we did that! It was so silly! But one day...”
- By, like, a lot.
- >>“I saw this rainbow, and it made me smile so widely that I just wanted to make everyone around me smile!”
- It's actually pretty creepy that I hang out with you guys
- >>And have to actively try and avoid being raped by them
- >>“So I packed up my things and moved to Ponyville where I could make everyone smile and meet new friends!”
- How old are you?
- >>“I actually think it was Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom that did it! It's how I got my cutiemark”
- >>The bell out front rang
- Cus...
- >>“CUSTOMER!”
- >>She zipped out so fast that it spun you around and left you on your flank, wondering just what happened
- >>That Pinkie Pie, so random.
- >>Later on in the day, you were working the ovens
- >>Dishes weren't backed up, but you were worried since it was just you and Pinkie
- >>The Cakes' were not accounted for
- >>Pinkie trotted back into the kitchen, happy and as energetic as ever
- >>“Wow! That was a long line!”
- Banana nut muffins are in the oven, boss.
- >>Pinkie gave you a weird look
- >>“I'm not Boss. I'm Pinkie Pie! Silly anon!”
- >>You stop what you're doing, shake your head, and get back to work
- So, where ARE the Cakes'?
- >>“Oh, they won't be coming in today. Just us!”
- >>You frown
- >>Pinkie can drive you up the goddamn wall sometimes
- >>“SOOO~!”
- >>You look over your shoulder to find her face right in yours, wearing a wicked smile
- Gah!
- >>You fumble and nearly drop an icing dispenser
- Pinkie Pie!
- >>You scold
- >>“I~ told you my story. So NOW~ you get to tell me yours!”
- >>She trotted past you, looking up at you the whole way
- I came to Ponyville, you scared the daylights out of me, I fell down a hole, then I got a job here.
- >>She furrowed her brows and stuck out her lower lip, looking at you
- >>“Now don't be a grumpy guss, Anon.”
- >>You don't want to tell her that Celestia has left your mind as such a wreck that you can't remember shit
- Nothing to tell.
- >>You move to put away a tray of cupcake tins, when Pinkie suddenly appears in front of you from out of the blue
- D'ah!
- >>In your fright you drop the tins, which clatter to the floor with a thunderous racket
- Pinkie! Now I have to wash these again!
- >>You mutter a string of human curses to yourself as you carry them to the sink and start scrubbing
- >>Bad enough that you have to wear a pink frilly apron
- >>“Come on! What about your mom? Your dad? Your friends?”
- >>She bounces around you
- >>Sore subject
- >>You can't remember any of them
- >>Celestia made sure of that
- Pinky, PLEASE. Just... PLEASE.
- >>She settles down and frowns
- >>“Well... how about your cutie mark? Do you always hide it under those clothes? What's your special talent?”
- >>You cringe
- >>You mutter a response
- I don... have... utiemark...
- >>“What was that?”
- >>You flip your shit and whirl around at her
- I don't HAVE a cutiemark!
- Pinkie, I NEED this job. Would you PLEASE just let me work?!
- >>She was 100% unfazed and continued with the inquisition
- >>“Oh, Anon, I just noticed! What happened to your eye?”
- >>She raised a hoof to point to your right eye
- >>You forgot about it yourself, and put your hand up to see what she was talking about
- >>Ouch! Oh, that's right. BonBon arranged a meeting with her hoof and your face
- Oh, this
- >>You take a moment to answer
- I got in a little tussle the other night. No big deal
- >>You go back to the dishes
- >>“What? With who?!”
- Somepony by the name of BonBon. She gets a little aggressive when I get near Lyra.
- >>“That's not just a little! Are you hanging around with Lyra a lot?”
- >>“Why don't you hang out with me?”
- >>“I could throw you a party!”
- >>You rinse off a tin and set it out to dry before moving on to the next one
- Lyra comes to me. She's been, uh... kind of creepy, lately.
- >>“Creepy like how?”
- Creepy like she teleports into my house and watches me sleep at night
- >>At this, Pinkie recoiled and brought up a brow
- >>“What? Really?”
- >>You look up from what you're doing to shoot Pinkie a glance
- Yeah.
- Really.
- >>You return to work, rinsing off a tin and setting it out to dry
- >>“Want to stay over tonight? She won't find you here. We'll have a slumber party!”
- >>Celestia... ALWAYS with the damn parties
- No, it's okay. Twilight is coming by tomorrow to teleport-proof my house. Once she does that, it'll all be fine.
- >>Pinkie looks at you, concerned
- >>She starts twitching like crazy as she thinks about it
- >>The bell out front rings
- Cus...
- >>“CUSTOMER!”
- >>Pinkie zips off, leaving you to your work at last
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The Story That Never Was - Chapter 23
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