- >>Glorious weekend
- >>You don't have anything to do
- >>You've had a pretty good week leading up to this
- >>Well, save for being in the hospital
- >>And that thing last night with Lyra
- >>That was really creepy
- >>Celestia's sun overtakes Luna's stars
- >>A rooster crows
- >>A beam of light traces along your floor from the nearby window until it lands on your face
- >>You cringe and turn your head
- >>But the sting of the shine eats at your skin, and your eyes crease open
- >>Only to find a pair of orange eyeballs nestled inside of a light green face staring straight down at you
- >>You immediately flinch, fully awake, and scream like a little girl
- >>As a defensive reaction, you pull your covers up to your head and shiver
- >>It's way too early for this shit
- >>“Hi~!”
- >>You lower your sheets from your eyes and take another look
- L...Lyra?
- >>She happily nods, ecstatic that you remembered her name
- But why? How? What?
- >>“I was here all night, Mister Anon!”
- >>Your eyes expand to fill your two dimensional head
- >>Your pupils shrink to pinpricks
- >>“Watching you sleeeeeeep...”
- >>You glare up at her for a moment
- >>This can't be happening
- >>There's got to be some sort of rule against this sort of thing
- Get off of my bed
- >>“Okay~!”
- >>She bounces off of your bed gracefully
- >>Almost the way that Pinkie Pie just sails through the air when she skips
- >>Creeps you out even further
- >>This is just off the scales
- >>You sit up and swing out of bed, looking down at her
- Alright. How did you get in?
- >>Still smiling, her horn glows and produces yet another spare key that flies out of her mane
- >>You grab it out of the air
- >>She produces another one
- >>You grab that one
- >>She presents a third key
- Okay, what the hell?
- >>“Magic!”
- >>She snorts, and then grins widely
- >>As if she was waiting for approval
- Okay. Get out.
- >>She drops her smile and looks up at you
- You heard me. Get out.
- >>There's a pause
- >>You clench your teeth
- …
- >>She suddenly jumps into the air and lands on her back, hooves kicking in the air
- >>She chuckles, madly
- >>“You'll have to lift me up!”
- >>You glare at her
- >>“With your hands!”
- >>She jabs a hoof to your left hand, which is at your hip
- >>Pause
- >>“...Touch me with your hands”
- >>You cringe
- Oh.. UGH! Augh, oh, jeez! You're sick, lady!
- >>Holy crap, this was worse than Applejack and Fluttershy combined
- >>From them, you knew what to expect
- >>This little freak? She can alienate your home at any time and had some sort of weirdo fangirl fetish
- >>The next moment is of you kicking open your door and heaving this annoying little snot-colored witch out of your home
- >>She lands on her flank
- >>You slam the door shut
- >>Shut the combination lock
- >>There. Even if she unlocks the door, it won't budge
- >>And she can't just stay out there forever
- >>You turn around
- >>She is waiting for you, right behind you
- >>She smiles and you here a high pitched squee
- What the hell?
- >>She raises a hoof to her forehead
- >>Oh. She's a unicorn. That explains it.
- >>You turn to unlock the door to kick her out again
- >>By Celestia, you'll just keep throwing her out until she's spent on spells for the day if that's the case
- >>“Mister Anonymous?”
- >>You stop what you're doing and turn to see her
- >>“YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE TEN DIGITS OF HEAVEN~!”
- >>Inside of three seconds your door flings open
- >>There's a loud smack
- >>She goes arcing through the air out your door as your boot comes in contact with her hind quarters
- >>You slam the door
- >>Turn around
- >>As predicted, there she is again
- >>“You're so tall! What's it like to be so tall? Are all human beings so tall?”
- >>You get ready to kick her out again, but you stop half way through
- Wait, what? How did you know...?
- >>Just how in the hell did she know you are a human?
- >>How does she know that word?
- >>Exactly much DOES she know?
- >>“Because I see them in my dreams!”
- >>“I think I was a human in a past life!”
- >>You can't believe this
- >>“I'm a human in spirit!”
- >>Lyra beats her chest
- >>Okay, wow
- >>So now they have pony otherkin, too
- >>“And I want to be just like you~!”
- >>Awkward silence
- >>She awaits your next action, watching you as if you were an exhibit
- >>Knock at the door
- >>You turn and answer it
- >>Oh, dammit
- >>It's Fluttershy
- >>Dressed in thin latex dominatrix gear with a saddle crop in her mouth
- >>You don't need this shit right now
- >>“Um, Hi, Anon... I was just wondering if you, you know... would like to...”
- >>For the love of Celestia...
- >>Lyra bounds up
- >>“Whose this?”
- >>Fluttershy perks up upon seeing Lyra in your home
- >>She stares up at you
- >>With innocent eyes, like she was no more than two
- >>“Anon... why?”
- >>“Why is that strange mare in your home?”
- >>“...Why?”
- >>But you know,
- >>You are so smart and so slick
- >>That you thought up a lie
- >>And you thought it up quick
- Lyra
- >>You said
- This is Fluttershy. She is the resident expert on human behavior. She knows EVERYTHING about human activities.
- >>Lyra skipped in place, zipping to Fluttershy
- >>“Really?! Really really?! And humans like that?!”
- >>Fluttershy backed up, lifting a hoof on the ground
- >>“Uhh...”
- It's my favorite thing in the world.
- >>Upon hearing this, Lyra pounces Fluttershy
- >>“Then I like it too! Come here!”
- >>A scuffle ensues, and you shut your door
- >>You look out the window and you see Lyra chasing Fluttershy off at best speed
- >>“Come on! Do to me what you were going to do to anon!”
- >>You breathe a sigh of relief
- >>You haven't even had breakfast yet
- >>This shit was going to get really old, really fast
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The Story That Never Was - Chapter 21
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