Elsa Comes Out: And Times After

        It didn’t happen overnight, things seldom do, and it wasn’t easy, for things seldom are, but in the months that followed Elsa began to come to terms with the oily black feelings that writhed in her stomach. Kristoff, Olaf and the rest of the household gave what encouragement they could, but it was on Anna that Elsa truly relied. Whenever Elsa needed it, Anna would take her and the sisters would retreat to one or the other’s room. No one else was ever allowed in, no matter how long they were closed, but eventually the doors always opened again.

        They would talk, more often than not. About things that were close to them, about things that didn’t matter, and all the things that were both at the same time. It wasn’t always talking of course. Sometimes they just needed to be near each other. Some of Elsa’s favorite times then were when they simply sat in silence and read with each other, Anna with her books of fairy tales and Elsa with books of math or history. Unfortunately more often than she’d like Elsa and Anna would end up in shouting matches, screaming about that they didn’t like about each other, or about themselves. But they were always there for each other.

        Other than the talks a letter from the Weselton thanking the princess, nothing else much of note came upon the castle, until The Ice Master came knocking at the queens door for the first time in months.

        Elsa called for him to come in, even if the door was still open. Their relationship had changed of late. For the longest time since Anna returned Elsa had kept her distance from the man, and even when they had finally gotten closer to how they were she still wouldn’t tell him what had happened behind those closed doors.

         Kristoff smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes, Elsa could see the concern behind it.

        “Elsa, there’s something I need to ask you…” he trailed off.

        “Yes?” She stood up out of her chair, her book still splayed out over it. She already knew what he was going to ask, she’d suspected it for days now. She just thought that she’d have more time.

        With a heavy sigh he continued, “I know that… with before, I don’t really have, you know, the right to ask this but… well.”

        Elsa smiled, “Just say it.”

        “I’d like to…” he looked around the room, seeking a reason to put it off. Elsa hoped he wouldn’t. He wrung his hands against each other, tying them together, knots of fingers looking as if they were about to snap “I’d like to ask for your blessing, for me and Anna.”     

        She’d told Anna she loved her. She wasn’t going to take away another thing from her sister. She couldn’t.

        She came closer, taking his worrying hands into her own. She sighed softly before looking up at him. It had been hard, seeing him almost every day after that but each day it got a little easier. Each day it hurt a little less, and each day she was a little happier, and when she wasn’t Anna would be there to hold her hand and help to end the little wars the queen waged on herself. Elsa couldn’t help but feel she could ever not love the man, not with how much he’d meant to her.

        She knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier, she could already feel the weight in her chest growing heavier. But it wasn’t a time for that. He was sweet and abrasive; sometimes he was lucky to string a whole sentence together. He was lucky that a girl like Anna had fallen in love with him. Elsa was lucky that a man like him had fallen in love with her.

        It tore at Elsa to hear it, but she’d given him away so many times in her own head after she’d told Anna that she couldn’t take him from her. Sometimes she cried, they both cried, or she screamed him out, refused. Sometimes he didn’t even ask. Sometimes it was all three. But Elsa knew what her answer was going to be. She’d left the Rubicon far behind her and now she was determined to make of it what she could.

        She squeezed his hands and forced a smile, “Of course, Kristoff.”

The walls bowed out as Kristoff let out the sigh, the tension and worry he’d felt finally melting away and freeing his hands from each other. He gave the queen a genuine smile.

        “I was worried that-“

        “But,” the smaller blond interrupted after taking her hands away, “I do have one small request first.”

        “Anything, name it.” Kristoff said quickly. A little too quickly for Elsa’s taste.

        Elsa reached up to the man’s cheeks and kissed him. It was brief and soft. It was totally different but it felt the same. The queen could feel her hair stand as gooseflesh spread over her skin. It was a magic that could hurt and heal at the same time. Her face and lips burned with joy and she wanted to sing. It was barely a touch of the lips. It was their last kiss, but Elsa hoped it wouldn’t be.

        She pulled away and a stuttering sigh escaped her as she smiled up at Kristoff, patting his cheek. He had no words and neither did she. She wanted to tell him that she would always care for him, even after everything. If not for Anna things might have been different. Her sister would marry him, and Elsa hoped that a far off dream she’d had once would come true.

        She watched him leave, and the lingering look as he moved out of the room kept her in place long after he was gone. Eventually the queen finally got back to her book and the histories of the Lancaster’s and York’s stretched out before her, and their feud that pitted England into war once again. Little men went to war because of the tangled love life of their kings. Far off on the other side of the castle she could hear a squeal of joy and she laughed.

        Elsa had, when she was younger, measured the dimensions of the castle in all sorts of ways. Surprisingly to her, one of her favorites was in footsteps. It was practical and, you could always use a new measurement of them. From Anna’s room to hers it was exactly 274 steps. Now Anna was a little shorter than her, and she’d be running. Ah but first she’d hug and kiss him, and he always spun her around for things like this. Let’s say… twenty-three seconds.

        The thudding of feet game at eighteen, louder at twenty, and at a count of twenty-three, Anna burst through the door. Elsa was shaking her head.

        “Elsa!” she shouted leaning against the door as she closed it, the queen turned in her chair just as her sister threw her arms around her, “Thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

        “You welcome, Anna” Elsa laughed as her brother practically pulled her from the chair, “You can- You can let go no.”

        “Oh right. Sorry.” Anna let go of the older girl and stood in front of her, practically bouncing, “Oh I can’t, Thank you Elsa!”

        The queen was once again squeezed in the arms of her sister.

        Elsa just continued laughing, “Anna. Anna? My arms Anna.”

        “You don’t need them anymore, I’m getting married!” She was squealing again, jostling her sister as she bounced, “Oh Elsa!”

        “It’s nothing Anna, we both knew this was coming.”

        “It’s not nothing!” Anna said, once again releasing her sister, she glanced at the door. Elsa wondered if Kristoff was on the other side, waiting, “I-I know how hard it was for you, and I know that I can’t thank you enough.” Anna put her arms around her sister’s shoulders again, cradling her head as she sat in her chair, “I love you Elsa.”

        “I love you too Anna,” the queen said back.

        “I uh... I also wanted to ask you about a…well you know… a bike…”