Title:           Herd Wars: Catalyst
Author:          pyskoj3t-Fluff
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/YgdGKRd9
First Edit:      Friday 29th of June 2012 04:52:32 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 29th of June 2012 04:52:32 PM CDT

>Live in north Texas
>You own a bunch of fenced off land with a few ponds and a shit-ton of trees
>Mostly pecan
>You really love pecan because of the taste, the trees live long, they make you a bunch of money at the farmers market, and fluffies cant get into them
>Speaking of fluffies, here is some right now
>Normally you dont care for them, but you dont want the fuckers getting into your house
>You walk over to the shed and grab a power drill, a hammer, and a few nails
>Time to set an example
>You walk up to them
>The samrty friend notices right away and puffs out his checks
>Unicorn, expected and wanted, light grey with a white mane and tail
>"Go way! This fluffies pwace! Hooman weave nao!"
>You look at him with a smurk on your face, "You have one chance, leave now or everyone will die."
>"Doubt."
>You look at the smarty, it actully must be smarter than regular fluffies because of that, but it is still retarded
>You set down the hammer and grab the smarty
>You turn on the power drill and go to work making a hole on his horn
>Before you even touch him he starts bawling and even crying for his momma
>Pathetic
>When the hole is all the way through his horn you pick up the hammer and pull a nail out off your pocket
>Time to hang the fucker
>You nail him to the nearest tree through the hole you drilled all while he is begging for the mercy you lost along with your fucks
>When you finish you look back at the herd
>"Unless you want to join him, I suggest you leave."
>Every single one of them run but the dams
>Retards must have forgotten about them
>Three of them
>"Nao hurties, pwease!" "Fluffy do nao wrong!" "Hate smarty fwiend!"
>You walk over to them
>They are right, they didnt do anything wrong
>Doesnt mean they didnt do any right either
>The fluffy nailed to the tree screams out, "Pwease! No hurty mamas! No hurty wifey!"
>You pick up the unicorn pregant mare, red with a white mane, "NAOOOO!"
>Perfect, its the smarties mate
>You take it over to the smarty and grab the power drill
>"Pwease, nao hurtie babehies. Nao hurtie wifey."
>"I dont care about you or your family."
>"Oww, big poopies!"
>Fuck, the dam is foaling
>You help it birth its foals
>"Owchies!"
>First one comes out with a hitch, a male unicorn
>Second one comes out the same, female unicorn
>Third one, male
>Fourth one, female
>Thith one, male, and a runt
>After cleaning them all off, the dam says "Ugh. Dum babeh, nao wan."
>"Either you take care of all of your babies, or I kill you and them right here and now."
>"Nao want! Nao want dum babeh."
>You have an idea
>You hang the two females like their father, who has stopped talking and just looks at you
>When you reach for the third one the mother says "Take cawe o dumb babeh."
>You look around for the runt, but you cant find it
>"Fine but just to be sure."
>You hang the first born male
>Each foal is crying its eyes out
>The mother starts feeding her remaining foal
>"Nao fwind dum babeh! Dum babeh no wan miwk! Towd hooman babeh dumb."
>Now you have had it.
>You stand up and curb stomp the mother and her foal
>The runt has ran over to the other dams and the herd who just showed up to see you kill the foal and the mom
>"You take care of your babies, and stay the fuck away from here or that will happen!"
>The herd starts rolling the dams off, forgeting about the runt
>When a mare walks back and picks it up and walks back to the herd
>You look at the smarty and the foals
>They start bawling again
>You walk back to the house to grab a can of Coke, a blindfold, and your 9mm
>Time to see how good of a shot you really are