The Cakes

        The sun rose on Sugar Cube Corner as Carrot Cake prepared the bakery for the day. He usually awoke before the sunrise every morning, and let his wife, Cup Cake, sleep in. He had noticed that she was sleeping later recently. She was due in a few months, so it was a fairly reasonable assumption that her pregnancy was taking a toll on her. Carrot Cake wouldn't trade an hour or two of sleep for having to carry around a baby, that was certain.

 

        Carrot Cake worked silently in the kitchen. It was shaping up to be a normal Tuesday, apart from the rather large special order that needed to be prepared for tomorrow morning. There was a conference in Ponyville, something farming related, and they wanted one hundred fresh muffins. So tomorrow was going to be another early day, although all he would have to do is put the muffin trays in the oven and nap on the couch.

 

        Surprisingly, the next pony to wake up was Pinkie Pie. The pink mare was kind of like an adopted daughter to Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Sometimes fortunately, and sometimes unfortunately, Pinkie Pie had the maturity level of a filly.

 

        “Hi Mr. Cake!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

 

        “Shhh...” Carrot Cake replied, in a soft voice. “Mrs. Cake is still asleep.”

 

        “Oh I'm sorry...” Pinkie's whisper was impossibly loud and excited. “I was asleep a few minutes ago! Let me tell you about the dream I had...”

 

        Carrot Cake tuned out his co-worker and continued on about his business while she whispered about who knows what. He wasn't trying to be rude, but when you live with Pinkie Pie, you have to ignore most of the things she says to keep your sanity. Carrot Cake had noticed long ago that she didn't really care if you listened, she just wanted to talk.

 

        After about fifteen minutes, Cup Cake sleepily wandered into the kitchen. Carrot Cake's mood lightened. After all of these years, she still had that effect on him, and now more than usual. Recently the Cakes had been getting intimate almost every day. Carrot Cake was very attracted to his wife's pregnant body, and her libido seemed to have increased as well.

 

        “Good morning, honey.” Carrot Cake said.

 

        “Good morning, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie Pie added, bouncing in place.

 

        Mrs. Cake looked at the both of them. One of her eyes closed, and the other half-shut. Her mouth opened. “Ahh... Aaaatchhiiieeww! Good morning.”

 

        “Bless you.” Carrot Cake said. His wife sounded pretty groggy. She didn't reply, and instead went straight for the coffee. Carrot continued about his work. After a few minutes, Cup Cake sneezed for a second time. “Ahh... Ahhaaah... Haaaatchheeew!”

 

        “Are you feeling alright?” Carrot Cake asked.

 

        His wife sipped at her coffee. “I think it's just... thaa.. that time of year agai.. agaihhuuhhenNNAAtchhiiieeewww!”

 

        Every year, Mrs. Cake was affected by allergies. It was one specific plant that set her off. No pony knew which, as she had never been to an allergist. She had always meant to, but never got around to it, as the allergies only bothered her for about two weeks before disappearing until next year. To add to her lack of motivation to go to a doctor, Cup Cake's symptoms were pretty much just sneezes, except for during the height of the two week period, where she got a runny nose and itchy eyes for a day or so.

 

        Carrot Cake watched his wife's eyes glaze over as she got the far away look that signified an oncoming sneeze. He felt a little bit of concern for her. She didn't believe him, but he had noticed that her allergies had gotten worse and worse each year. Plus, she was pregnant now, which broke all health precedents. Who knows how she was going to react this year? Cup Cake's head bobbed back. “Aahh.. aahh.. Ahhhahh.. Aaah.. Aaaah.. Urggh..”

 

        Cup Cake sniffed at the air, trying to get the sneeze to return. Her nose began to twitch as it built. Just then, Pinkie Pie jumped up.

 

        “We have a customer!” Pinkie said, rushing to the counter. Pinkie was in charge of working the front of the bakery. The arrangement allowed Mr. and Mrs. Cake to get some work done without having Pinkie Pie's 'help,' which mostly involved taste-testing. Pinkie was a great baker when she tried, but too many cooks spoiled the stew.

 

        Pinkie's excitement caused the sneezy look on Mrs. Cake's face to once again slip away. Carrot Cake returned to work on the muffins for tomorrow. Cup Cake returned to her work as well. As he worked, Carrot Cake could hear his wife sniffling desperately, taking hitching breaths as yet another false start happened, sighing, and then sniffing.

 

        She had about five or six false starts while Carrot Cake was chopping fresh fruit for the muffin mix. He turned around, just in time to see his wife carrying a bag of flour on her back, with a look on her face that begged for relief. Her lips quivered as she began bringing in air for the sneeze that would just not come. “Haah.. Ahhh.. Aaah... Ahhahh...”

 

        The sneeze was leaving. However, it wasn't the only thing that was slipping away from her. The sack of flour slid off of her back, hitting the tile floor with a bang. Cup Cake sighed, and picked it up in her mouth in order to return it to her back, still sniffing and hoping for a sneeze. Just then, flour puffed out of some cracks that hard formed in the bag.

 

        Carrot Cake could see his wife's eyes grow wild. She bit hard into the flour sack, and the paper tore again, flour spewing everywhere as it fell from her grip. “Ahh... AHHH...”

 

        Carrot Cake rushed over to her, pressing one of his hooves against her nose. If she sneezed right now, she would hit the bag and flour would go everywhere. Carrot Cake would have tried to move his wife, but he didn't really think it was a good idea to manhandle a pregnant mare. Cup Cake's sneeze seemed to fade slightly, but her nostrils wiggled against her husband's hoof, and her hitching breaths continued. “Ahh... Ahh... AHHAHH...”

 

        Carrot Cake rubbed his wife's nose urgently, but it did not seem to be having any effect on her. She was going to sneeze! “AHHH! HHAAAH! GaaaahhhTISSHOOOOOIEE!”

 

        Flour flew up into the air, coating both of the bakers. Carrot Cake could see another sneeze building on his wife's face. He brought his hoof up again to stop her, until he felt a sneeze of his own coming on. He tried to rub his own nose, but he had never had much success with holding back sneezes, and sure enough, he could feel himself going over the edge. The flour was way too tickly to keep in. “KERRRCHHOOooooo!”

 

        Carrot Cake's head shot forwards into the bag of flour. He could hear his wife sneezing, although it sounded like it was a mile away, because he was going to sneeze again. “Ehhh.... KERRRAACHHOOoooooo!”

 

        The sneeze caused the bag to tear open in half a hundred places, flour streaming out in all directions, flying into the air. Mr. Cake felt another sneeze coming on, but he didn't have air in his lungs for it. As his breath hitched, he lifted his head out of the bag, trying to direct the oncoming sneeze away from the flour.

 

        “Ehh.. EHHEHH...” Carrot Cake could see his wife attempting to lift the flour bag out of the way. Flour was falling out of the bag in small puffs, making his nose tickle worse. He was going to try and hold it back until the flour was safely away. It was going to be no easy task, as his nose tickled mightily. “Eehhh...”

 

        As Mr. Cake rubbed his nose, trying to keep the sneeze in, Mrs. Cake's eyelashes began fluttering. She had stopped in front of him, holding the bag of flour between her mouth and one of her front hooves. Carrot Cake could see his wife's nostrils flaring. She looked as if she was trying to keep the sneeze back, but she was fighting a losing battle. Watching it was making Carrot Cake lose his. His breath hitched. “EhhhehhEHH...”

 

        “Ahh... Ahhh... AAAH... Aaah!” Mrs. Cake was on the verge of the sneeze.

 

        “Ehhhh... EHHEHH! DEHH... dehh-dohhn't sneeHEHHEEEZE!” Mr. Cake managed to say.

 

        His wife's hitching breaths stopped, and she looked at him with a sad face. Her lips quivered as she tried to fight the urge to open her mouth, but ultimately failed. “AAAHH! HiiiirrrasssshhHHEEEEEW!!”

 

        The flour bag had finally had enough, and it split open, spilling what was left of its contents all over the floor. Mr. Cake couldn't hold it back any longer, and he sneezed with all of his might. “KKEERRRRTIIIEEECHOOOOOOOoooooo!”

 

        Flour went everywhere. Carrot Cake could see it flying through the air, in front of his wife's face. Cup Cake's hair was disheveled, and her eyes were squeezed shut as she brought in air for another sneeze. “Ahh.. AAAH... Ahhh... HaaaaahhhTTCHOOOOIEEE!”

 

        Watching his wife sneeze reminded Carrot Cake how badly he needed to release. His nostrils ached, begging for another massive sneeze. He grimaced as his head tilted back and his eyes squeezed shut. There was just no holding it in. “EHHHH! KKEERRRRRRIIIIAAAACHOOOOOooooo!”

 

        “HaaahhCHOOO! AaaahhCHOOO! GiiiiaaaATTCHOOOO!” Cup Cake sneezed, somewhat violently. This was an absolute disaster. Each time one of the Cakes sneezed, the flour in the air became more and more agitated. The obvious solution was to stop sneezing, but Carrot Cake couldn't, he just had to let them go. His head tilted back again.

 

        “EHH... EHHEEHH!” Carrot Cake hitched. He felt something on his nostrils. It was his wife's hoof.

 

        “Honey... don't sneeze...” She whispered in his ear. Even with her hoof massaging his nose, it was going to be very difficult to comply. His nose tickled immensely, and loose flour was still all around him, although it was floating lazily through the air, settling down slightly.

 

        “EHHEHH... EHHH!” Mr. Cake fought to contain the sneeze. Every second he held back was another thousand flour particles on the floor, rather than in the air. Even if the sneeze escaped eventually, he would still do less damage the longer he kept it in. “EHHHH... Ehhehhh...”

 

        Miraculously, the urge to sneeze was actually fading. Perhaps soon they would be out of this sneezy mess, and could clean up the flour and get back to work.

 

        “Good job Carrot.” Mrs. Cake gave him a kiss on the cheek. He still had to sneeze, but not nearly as much. “Now, be a good boy, and keep it in for a few more seconds. I have to let a teensy tiny sneeze go real quick.”

 

        It was astonishing how fast Cup Cake's face turned from cool and collected to a desperate pre-sneeze visage. Her tongue pressed against the side of her cheek, and her nostrils wiggled wildly. Her eyes squeezed shut and an allergic tear streamed down her face. She took feminine, yet powerful breaths. “Aaah.. Aaaah...”

 

        This was ridiculous. If his wife sneezed, Mr. Cake surely would. Just listening to her hitching breaths was causing his tickle to grow. He reached a hoof over to her face. “You don't... Ehhh... Have to.”

 

        “Dear, Aaah... Aahllergies... I haahh.. HAAAH... HAAAVE to...” Mrs. Cake managed. Her lips curled. It was clear that his hoof wasn't doing much to quell the tickle in her nose. However, with every hitching breath his wife emitted, Mr. Cake was reminded of his own urge to sneeze, which was now becoming nearly unbearable. “Now move it! I Gahh... GAHHAAH.. GOTTA!”

 

        Cup Cake twisted away from her husband. This was completely unfair. She was going to sneeze. And if he sneezed as a result, they would be back where they started, leaving him no choice but to fight against the impossibly large sneeze that was building inside of him. His head tilted back. He didn't have a choice, the urge to sneeze was just too powerful.

 

        Once again, Mr. Cake felt something on his nose. His own hoof, this time. His wife whispered to him, “Stay strong.”

 

        “EHHEHHEHHHEHH!” Carrot Cake hitched, fighting the sneeze as if his life depended on it. He couldn't even control his own hoof to rub his nose, but the fact that his wife believed in him made all the difference.

 

        “GiiiiiiAAAHHTISSHHOOOOOO!” Cup Cake exploded. Mr. Cake's head reeled back as he began losing control. Seeing another pony release was just too much, not to mention the flour that his wife's sneeze had kicked up.

 

        “EHHHEHHH! EHHHHEHHHEEHHH!!” He hitched, and he barely felt his wife's hoof return to his itchy nose.

 

        “Don't sneeze...” She pleaded with him, but it was no use. He absolutely had to. There was just no denying a sneeze of this magnitude.

 

        “EHHEHHHEHHH!! HEHHEHH!” Carrot Cake continued.

 

        “Please, don't sneeze.” His wife said. Desperate, she pinched his nose between both of her front hooves.

 

        “EHHEHHEHHH!! EHHEH... Ehhh... hoooooo..” To Carrot Cake's surprise, his wife had once again assisted him in keeping his massive sneeze in. She began escorting him towards the front door. Finally, he was going to get to let this sneeze go.

 

        The front to the kitchen burst open, revealing Pinkie Pie.

 

        “Hiya Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I got so bored in the front, there hasn't been a customer since the first one and I already swept behind the register and wiped down the counters and I just walked back here to see what... Ahh...” Pinkie Pie's eyes crossed. “Ah...”

 

        “Pinkie, don't!” Mrs. Cake yelled.

 

        “Ah... Ahhh... Ahhh!” Pinkie's eyes shut, and her jaw dropped slack. In a very 'Pinkie Pie' fashion, she began taking ridiculous hitching breaths, each taking in an absurd amount of air, and filling her chest until she looked fit to burst. “AHHZABBA... HINNINNA! HASCAPPIP!”

 

        Despite the weird noises Pinkie Pie was making, her face revealed that they were clearly hitching breaths. Mr. Cake's nose tickled as if there was no tomorrow. “EHHEHHHEHH...”

 

        “HASGRIBBAPHINAAA! Haa... Whewww! False alarm!” The Cakes collectively breathed a sigh of relief. “It's all this flour! What are you two doing with flour all over the floor anyways? Is this a secret recipe you haven't shared with me? Ahh! Are you guys throwing a flour party? Why didn't you invite me! I love HAHHTISSHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Parties!”

 

        Pinkie Pie sneezed, kicking up a substantial cloud of flour. The tickle in Mr. Cake's nose returned with a fury. He knew that nothing short of a miracle could stop him now. The sneeze burned inside of his nose. He had to let it go. “EHHEHHEHH!”

 

        “KKKKERRRRRRRRTTIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEECCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!” Mr. Cake bellowed. Flour rocketed everywhere from the blast of air he created. The tickle in his nose disappeared.

 

        As Carrot Cake looked up, Pinkie's head was tilted back, one of her front hooves fanning in front of her face. “Ahhh.. AAAH...”

 

        His wife, too, was nearing close to a sneeze. Her eyelashes were fluttering and her mouth was wide open. Pinkie's hitching breathes were more girlish and shrill than his wife's were. Carrot Cake inched towards the door.

 

        “HaaasshhhIIOOOOO!” Cup Cake sneezed.

 

        Pinkie Pie launched into a fit of small sneezes. “Aaahchoo! Aphhshooo! Achoo! Achoo! AhCHAA!”

 

        Mr. Cake slipped through the open front door, shutting it behind him. Let the two mares deal with that mess. They would be better off anyways, without his massive sneezes bucking everything up. He sneezed the last of the flour out of his nose. “Kerrchoooo!”