Title:           One Shot: Cookies to Biscuits
Author:          picklehead42
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/iFxavRza
First Edit:      Wednesday 29th of May 2013 03:12:07 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 29th of May 2013 03:12:07 PM CDT

>Day Ponk in Equestria
>You wake, take the morning shit, the steamy shower, and the unnecessary shave.
>S-shut up, it made you feel grown up.
>Bopin' and jivin' downstairs, you pop open the fridge, and examine what you have for food.
"Hmmmm...eggs, milk, flower...I COULD MAKE COOKIES!"
>Oh man, today was gonna be sweet!
>Pinkie Pie had the monopoly on cookies, so you rarely got to eat one that wasn't crammed with sugar.
>You set to work, mixing in a bowl, when a sudden knock comes at the door.
>It wasn't a shy knock, like the one Yellow Rapist usually does, so you open it without fear of rape.
>You then get a face full of pink pony ass.
>The scary part was, it was all shades of pink down there. ALL shades.
>"Hey there Nonny! Wanna buck me silly?"
>You shove her horsey bits away, and wipe the juices off your face.
"Pinky, how many times have I told you, I don't want to have sex with a p0ny!"
>She looks down, and her hair deflates. "Okay I guess..."
>She turns, and begins to walk away, when she suddenly turns and looks back at you.
>"Why are you naked and wearing a apron?"
>You quickly reply
"N-no reason!:
>She cant know you're cheating on her with your cookies.
>She sniffs the air, and narrows her eyes suspiciously. "I smell *sniff* flour...and eggs...and...SUGAR?!?!"
>She jumps onto you, and clings to your chest. "YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING COOKIES WITHOUT ME!"
>You throw her off, and slam the door.
"I SWEAR I'M NOT! NOW GO AWAY!"
>She bangs on the door a few times, before giving up. You peer out the window to see her walking away.
>She whips around, looks into your eyes, and says "No cookies for you. Only dry, dry biscuits." in a low voice very much unlike her.
>She then shakes her head, gets the classic poofy "Ponk" look, and bounces off.
"Christ, that was a close one."
>Wiping your forehead, you go back into the kitchen to finish the mix.
>Within a half an hour, the dough is placed in the oven, and you are pacing outside it, waiting for th-
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>DING DING MOTHERFUCKER YOUR COOKIES ARE READY TO BE EATEN AND THEY ARE GONNA TASTE SO FRESH
>You had a very...colorful timer on it.
>You wanted to replace it, but he scared you.
>Opening the door, you grab the tray, and put it on the stove top.
"Hot hot hot hot hot!"
>Maybe you should've put on a oven mitt.
>But regardless, you now have delicious sugary chocolate coo-
>Wait a minute
>Wait a fuck damn minute
"Wait a minute."
>Sticking your face close to the pan, you stare intently at the contents.
>Sitting on it, are biscuits.
>Fluffy, doughy, white, and notoriously dry.
>One pf them actually looks like John Hodgeman.
"What the fuck! These aren't my cookies!"
>You grumpily pick up one of the biscuits, and take a bite.
>Your mouth immediately becomes dryer than FlutterQuiets cooch.
"Agh! What the fuck!"
>You spit out the shitty excuse of a pastry, and throw it into the sink full of water.
>It immediately sucks it all up, like a super sponge.
"Goddammit. I knew I should've just eaten Pinkie's stupid cookies."
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