Celestia's Stories

>And now, introducing Equestria’s most popular TV show, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiits CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEESTIA’S STOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!

>The camera pans down to Celestia who is currently reclining on a large couch

>The crowd of ponies before her is chanting her name. “TIA! TIA! TIA!”

>She raises a hoof to quite them, before turning to the camera. “Hello my royal subjects, welcome to another episode of Celestia’s Stories, with me as your wonderful host!” She makes sure to flash a warm smile.

>”Now today my little p0nies, we have a great show. One of our sauciest ever! With me I have one of my great friends Mi Amore Cadenza, or as she’s more commonly known at Canterlot High, Cadence!”

>The camera pans over, and we see a teenage Cadence sitting next to Celestia, her wings and horn much smaller, and a noticeable bulge around her midsection.

>”Thank you so much Tia, it’s so wonderful to be here!” She smiles at the camera.

>”Oh it’s no problem at all, now tell us, why are you here today?”

>Her happy smile immediately disappears. “Well, as I’m sure you’ve all noticed, I’ve put on a little foal weight. I’m here to tell you all that the father of the baby is Anon.”

>The crowd does a mix of “Oooooooooh!” and “Ewwwwwwwwwww!”

>”Now now my little audience, Anonymous is a guest on our world, and a personal friend of mine. Now Cadence, why is this Celestia’s Stories worthy?”

>She blushes hard. “Well, Anon doesn’t think he’s the father, and refuses to get married or even take responsibility!”

>”Well, let’s get him out here!” Anon is shoved onto the stage.

“Hey man! What the hell!”

>The crowd immediately boo’s loudly as he walks to his chair next to Cadence.

>”Hello honey!” she chirps happily.

“What the hell am I doing here”

>”You’re on Celestia’s Stories Anon! Smile for the camera!”

>He turns and stares at the camera for a moment before flipping it off.

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>Cadence smacks the back of his head. “Foals watch this show!”

“Fuck that. I was brought here against my will, I’ll do as I wish.”

>An awkward silence is held before Celestia breaks in. “Now Anon, what do you have to say about Cadence’s allegations that you’re the father of her child?”

“What do I think? I think that its bullshit!”

>Cadence looks hurt at his statement.

“She raped me! She held me down in the locker room and made me go inside her! She made me cum inside! How the hell she even got pregnant is beyond me, I mean we aren’t even the same species!”

>”H-he doesn’t mean it!”

>Celestia looks angrily at you. “Now Anon, those are some very strong allegations. Are you willing to put those to the test?”

“Your damn right I am! I want no part in this bullshit!”

>The screen behind them flicks on, and it shows your DNA being scanned.

>A drumroll plays while Celestia pulls out an envelope from beneath her fat ass.

>”Anon, it says that you are….”

>She dramatically rips open the letter.

>”Are the father!”

>Confetti rains down from the ceiling as Cadence tearfully hugs you smiling.

>The crowd surges as the p0nies scream and whoop at his misfortune

“No…it’s not possible…”

>He sits down and begins to cry alongside Cadence, his tears of complete sadness mixing with hers of joy.

>Amidst the rioting horses, the camera pans over to Celestia. “That wraps up our show my little p0nies! Tune in next week for the sentencing of Anon to see if he will become a daddy, or a child support payer!”

>A cheery outro plays as the camera zooms onto the small puddle of tears on the floor.

Written and Directed by Flutterpriest

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