Title:           Ivan in equestria
Author:          penny_le_remover
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/WC6n901x
First Edit:      Saturday 27th of September 2014 11:55:31 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 27th of September 2014 11:55:31 AM CDT

>Yuo name ivan
>Yuo are proud slav
>yuo mother russian and father serb
>yuo are one day in patrol mission to find and remove any kebab from glorious serbija
>yuo must remove
>but you removal cut short wen flash of light blinds yuo
>Yuo find yuoselv in stranj colorful forrest
>this must be a plight of kebab to remove yuo from serbija so yuo can not be of removing kebab from glorious serbija
>Yuo have with yuo glorious kalshnikov with additionals 50 bulet to spar
>Yuo make way throogh forrest to small grassland
>village in distans
>Start be of walking to village in distans
>Houses of much small
>maybe migets
>See purpel hors like thin
>hors scream
>hors be of having horn on head
>and wing on bak
>Horn is of glow now
>glow of purpel
>yuo of sleep and black
>Fukin kebab black majik
>Wake
>In cage
>Glorious kalshnikov is not of with yuo
>Is on table out of cage
>hors comes in
>More hors
>Different color hors
>two big hors
>about 1.209 meter tall
>yuo are of good with maths
>the big white Hors starts of saying things
>"What is it twilight"
>purpel hors of says too
>"i dont know princess it was walking around outside of ponyville with that big stick"
>no
>kalshnikov is not of stick
>"STICK IS OF KALSHNIKOV PURPEL HORS, IS NOT JUS STICK BUT BES FREND AS WELL"
>small white hors of say
>"IT CAN TALK, EEEEE!!"
>hors of shouting at yuo
>no
>Yuo of shout louder
>"AAAEEHHHGG"
>hors quite
>Hors cower at corner
>No man shout at ivan without shout bak
>purpel hors horn glow
>More black
>Yuo still ivan
>yuo still of in cage
>Much more hors now
>hors have spear
>Still no kalshnikov
> :^(
>Big white of says
>We dont know what you are but you may be something the griffins sent so either you start talking or die here"
>"What of this place"
>yuo not very good at saying american
>"you're in equestria, now did the griffins send you or not"
>griffin of myth
>"griffin of not real"
>hors say
>"Griffins are real
Yuo say
>"Griffin of not real"
>Hors say
>"Griffins are real
>"No"
>"Yes"
>"no
>purpel hors say
>"princess he obviously isnt working for them if he doesnt beleive in them"
>White say
>"yes i suppose you are right, but, what are you?"
>"I OF GLORIOUS SERBIAN SOLDIER WITH MANY KILL OF KEBAB I OF IVAN"
>spear all spear hors scard
>white hors and purpel horse back away
>white say
>"You're a soldier?"
>"DA"
>"So you know about war then?"
>"DA"
>"What does that mean?"
>Hoe you say da in burger?
>"is of mean da"
>hors put hoof on face
>Maybe bug on her
>Hors say more
>"How advanced in warfare are you 'serbians'
>"GIVE KALSHNIKOV AND I SHOW"
>"what?"
>"PURPEL HORS STOLE GLORIOUS KALSHNIKOV AND WANT BAK
>"i think he means the big stick, and we're ponies ivan."
>"OK PONE NOW GIBE KALSHNIKOV AND LET OUT OF CAGE"
>Out of cage
>Walking thoough hallway
>have glorious kalshnikov
> :^)
>pones take to a courtyard
>"Show us what this 'kall-shini-cove does"
>bulet still in magazine
>"WHAT?YOU DID NOT OF REMOVE BULET BEFORE STORINGS OF KALSHNIKOV??"
>"Whats a bullet?"
>Stupid pones
>"Was evr i show kalshnikov now
>"bring pone soljer armoR"
>"why?"
>"TO DEMONSTRATE KALSHNIKOV"
>"Okay, jeeze dont shout so much
>Pones bring armoR
>aimings
>Fireings
>armoR is obliteratd by glorious kalshnikov
>all pones in shock
>If pone was in armoR itd ded pone
>"I-i guess...we should..make more.....kalshnikov..."
>"YES"
>"WAS ARMOr MADE OF"
>"Its made of the strongest metal we have ivan"
>"METAL IS?"
>"we call it tin and it holds against nearly everything, except the kalshnikov.
>"TIN IS OF WEAKEST METAL. HOW YUO PONES HAVE MILTARY IF USE TIN"
>"what? What in equestria could be stronger than tin?"
>"IRIN STEEL BRONZE GOLD SILVER OR EVN BRASS YUO STOOPID HORS"
>Purpel hors mad
>"HOW ARE WE THE STUPID ONES IF YOU CANT EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH RIGHT?!"
>"BECAUSE I NO SPEAK BURGER AS FIRST LANGUAGE I SPEAK GLORIOUS SERBIJA"
>"WELL THEN SAY SOMETHING IN SERBIAN IDIOT"
>white hors say now
>" twilight calm down"
>yuo say now
>"?????? ????? ???????? ????? ??? ??????? ????. ?? ???????? ????? ???????? ????? . ????? ?? ???????? . ????? ???????? ?????? ????? ???? ??? ?????? . ?????? ?? ?????? ? ????????? ???? ... .????????? , ????? ?? ?????? ???? ??? ??????? . ?????? ??????? ???? ??? ???? ????? ???? ????? ????? ???????? ????????..???? ??????? ??????? ??? ? ??? ?????? . ??????? ?????? ????..???????????????? ???? ??? ??? !! ?? ?????????? ??2 .???????? ??????? ????? , ???????? ???????? ?? ????? ????????? ????????? ... .?????????? ????? ???? ? ???????? ????? ???? ???..??? ?????? . ?????? ????? ?? ?????????? . ???? ??????. ?????? + ??? + ???????? + ???????? = ????? ????? ... ??? ??2 / ????? ??? ? ?????? , ????? ?????? ?????? ?????? . ???? ??? ????? ?????? . ?? ??? ?????? ? ????? ????? ???? ???????? ??????? ???? ????? ... ?? ?? ????? ????? ???? ... ?????? ? ????? ???????? , ?????? ? ???? ????? ??? ????? ????? # 1 ? ?????? ... .???? ???????? , .. ????? ????? ?????? ???? ????? ?????? ? ?????? ??? ?? ??????? ? ?????? . 2??? ???? ??? ????? ??? ???????? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ?????? ?? ??? ?????? ???? ??? .???????? ????????? ??? ????????? ????? ????? ???? ?????? ? ?????? ???? ?? ?? ???? ???????? ? ????? ??; ? ????? . ????? ???? ????????? ???? ???? ??? ???? ????? ???? ? ????? ??? ??????? ?? ????? . ?????? ???????? ????????"
>White horse and purpel hors laying on floor
>"What"
>"What"
>No one out shout ivan
 
 
>3monthes later
>Gloroius kalshnikov is of being mass produced
>Pones win griffin war in 3 day
>Pones honor yuo for of bring such technowlejy in poneland
>yuo are now prince of war
>Yuo named prince of war becaus on yuor way to poneland kebab majik made yuo imortel
>Yuo find owt white hors imortel too
>so is blue hors sistr
>and purpel hors
>Also a pink hors
>And a weird drgoon thing hors call dikord
>yuo and dikoord frends
>He primce chaos
>He is good comrade
>But each night
>You stare out window
>Look at star
>And cry a single cry liquid
>Becas
>Yuo will never return to glorious serbija and
remove kebab