the best of the rainbro dash thread

>The Gala is coming up

>Fuck that, you're doing manly things like push ups and football and tax payments

>Hear a loud SNAP outside

>Too loud to ignore, go look outside to see what it was

>It's Rainbow Dash with a knife and a severed rope from a net trap.

>”Heya Anon! Just cutting down your daily trap from Fluttershy. This one was a biggie.”

>”Oh cool, thanks Dash. With all this talk about the Gala, she's probably going crazy hormonal about trying to get me to go with her. I'm glad you're around so I can breathe easy.”

>Give her a small hug

>Notice her wings start to extend oddly

>”...Y-Yeah...about that....”

>She starts acting flushed, rubbing her hooves together and looking down at the ground

>”I-I was....k-k-kinda...uhhhhh...”

>Look down

>Spaghetti starts falling out of her pockets

>Can't help but notice

>”Dash, you ok?”

>”I-I-I-I wanted to......uuuhhhhhhhh”

>Whole platefuls of spaghetti are falling out. Dash's face is a bright pink at this point

>Step back a few feet in fear

>“A-a-anon, did you....w-w-w-wanna....”

>It's now hard to hear her over the sloppy sounds of wet noodles slapping together on the pavement

>”...IgottagoAnon!”

>She flies off faster then you even thought she could

>She left a path of spaghetti

>Lawn is submerged in approximately 4 feet of spaghetti

 

Fucking Rainbow Dash

---

>Me: Doin squat thrusts with large triangular weights in the yard.

>Fluttershy offers to spot me

>Fluttershy, you're not even hiding the fucking ether bottle.

>Uhmm, its friendship perfume

>God damnit Fluttershy I'm lifting.

>Rainbro Dash shows up

>Fluttershy mumbles something about dykes and flies off

>Hey Rainbro spot me?

>Uh, hay yay Anon!

>Spots me like a boss, my head inches away from her crotch

>Hit those reps like a boss, look into Rainbros eyes for support

>Rainbro gets really quite

>Hey, wanna hit the showers?

>Man, this would be weird if you weren't like a sister to me.

>Uh, yeah

>She starts acting really weird, not looking at me, doesn't want to scrub my back or shower wrestle

>Smack her ass for luck, laughing while looking into my good friend's eyes.

>Man, your wings are always so straight, what's up with that?

>Yeah anon, what's up with that?

---

>at the local salthole with my bro Rainbro Dash

>stay there late into the night, taking licks of flavored hard-salt cubes and drinking some Apple family cider

>chide her about cheating during our races by flying

>she chides back about how humans have longer legs so it's only fair

>point out how longer legs can't bound you over trees and mountains

>"Psssh! Whatever Anon!" she says in a salty giggle, "You gonna lick that?"

>slide over the salt cube selection, Rainbro takes her favorite

>"Ahhh Rainbow Dash. It's good to have a real friend to hang out with. Your other friends are kinda nuts sometimes."

>she agrees, blushing softly and little wobbly

>you both decide to head to your homes

 

>You reach your place first with Rainbro getting progressively wobblier on her hooves as she resortrs to walking alongside you rather than flying

>"Wooah, Anon...I'm feeling pretty salty..."

>offer to let her stick around your house for the night so that she doesn't crash while flying home.

>she smiles "Heh, thanks Anon....I'd hate to smash into something heading home..."

>she trots inside with you

>you collapse onto the bed, feeling a bit salty yourself from the spiced cider

>Rainbow Dash helps you lay down the best she can, saying she'll keep an eye out for Fluttershy in the morning.

>"Thanks Rainbow...you're a true friend."

>fall asleep

>"Th-thanks Anon...you are, too"

>blushes, laying next to your arm and laying her rainbow mane on your stomach before passing out herself

---

>Day 563 in Ponyville

>outside in the field below RD's house

>lifting weights with Rainbro Dash

>watching her form and comparing it to how humans move objects

>she smiles softly trying to look tough

>"Shuttup, Anon!" she laughs

>you trade weights with her to do some tricep extensions, she gets a good smell of your sweaty aroma and blushes softly, gone in an instant

>ask her how she can use weights without hands to grip

>"W-well you see..."

>a bead of sewat forms on her head

>spaghetti begins to build in her colon

>ask her how she can store weights inside of a cloud

>the sauce begins to leak out her sphincter

>she blushes furiously

>ask her why she can even go past the speed of light to fracture the color spectrum

>suddenly, spagetti rockets out of Rainbro's butt

>shoots herself all the way out of Ponyville

>spaghetti rainbow all the way across the sky

>put on sun glasses

>continue working out

---

>I'm freakin out man

>Rainbro you gotta help me!

>Whoa anon hold your horses

>Man, Twilight just told me that there's a thing called Penis Inspection day and if you don't get inspected by your city's librarian you get sent to the fucking moon!

>...

>I mean what if I don't pass?

>....

>Hey, we're good friends. I trust you. Can you, I dunno, look at it for me?

>.....

>Be nervous, but go up to Dash and start undoing my jeans.

>Get my pants off accidentally bump her in the face with my package.

>Whoa sorry, heh, that's awkward.

>Bit my lip, blush, and pull-

>Anon, there is no penis inspection day, Twilight's being a bitch.

>Whew! Oh may that was awkward. Oh man.

>Zip up and give Dash a big hug.

>Oh shit sorry Dash, face crotch again, my bad mate.

>Hay....no sweat....

>Well, see ya later.

>Friendly ass pinch

>Why are her fucking wings always like that?

---

>attend running of the leaves practice with RD

>training with Rainbow Dash over the months sure payed off

>keep eachother motivated to stay strong throughout the entire length

>nearing the end after many a long mile

>Rainbow's competitive nature gets the best of her, and she sprints ahead with her wings to propel her

>"I won! I won!"

>proclaim she cheated by using her wings

>she gloats

>tell her that you'll shut her up

>"Oh yeah? Let's see you try!"

>tackle her to the ground, rolling over and over laughing

>her wings instantly spring out

>her pupils dialate

>she blushes

>"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh...how can I explain this to Anon...." she thinks rapidly

>pokerface.jpeg

>tell Rainbro now to worry about it; it happens sometimes to people after running

>"H-hey, yeah...running..." she glances away

>get up and ready to go jog home to shower

>"We still on for Sugarcube Corner later?"

>"Ofcourse! Catch ya later, Anon!"

>she flies away with a bit of a hiccup; wings ridgid

---

>Rainbow Dash just saved you from another elaborate sexual assault by FS/AJ/TS

>Thank her, and slap her ass for good luck

>She blushes bright red in shock

>”....hey Anon, why are you always-”

>In the middle of her sentence, you flip Rainbow Dash over so her butt is in the air

>Start slapping her butt cheeks like fucking bongo drums

>Each cheek has a different tone, and you start to make music with your strong human hands

>”Dayum nigga, them beats fresh.”

>All of Ponyville starts dancing to the beat of your sick ass cheek beats

>You start the biggest drum circle Ponyville has ever seen

>HEYA HOOHA HEYA HOOHA HEEYYYAAAAAAA

>Dash's face is content the whole time

>Party hard for hours

 

>Party's over

>Dash looks over at you, blushing and smiling.

>You pat her on the back

>"Man, Dash. You're SUCH A BRO. You're nothing but a AWESOME AS FUCK BRO. I can't imagine life without someone AS MUCH AS A BRO AS YOU. Can I emphasize that YOU ARE SUCH A BRO and I WOULD LIKE TO HUG YOU NON-SEXUALLY?

>Grin happily at her

>Dash's face changes from a big smile to a poker face

>Dash flies off without saying anything

>The fuck was that all about