Prince Blueballs Ch. 1

>~~~Blueblood POV~~~

 

>You are Prince Blueblood.

>Today you felt better than you have in years.

>Today you were going to begin building your future with Anonymous.

>But how to go about it?

>This would be a process that would take time and careful planning to have it go right.

>Perhaps something small at first to show him that you are his friend, he’s an omnivore so perhaps supporting his diet would help.

>Then he could always use his own home, dear auntie Celestia knows you had more than enough money to give him any home he desires.

>You also heard how Canterlot reacted to his appearance, that’s something else you could do!

>If Anonymous is truly stranded here then with dear sweet auntie Celestia as your witness, you would help Anon earn the respect and admiration he deserved!

>”Master Blueblood?”

>Came a familiar voice from beneath your bed spread.

>”It’s morning sire, I must be getting home.”

>It was the young curious Minotaur that wished to “spend a night” with a stallion to know what it was like.

>And knowing your lust for bipeds you were more than happy to oblige.

“Very well then, my servants will escort you home covertly so your parents will never know.”

>The young fellow was very thankful for your company; Minotaurs were nice but didn’t quite tickle your fancy.

>From what Anonymous told you all at dinner, Minotaurs were mythical beings from his home that were said to be half man, half bull.

“Well if a Minotaur is half the beast that Anonymous is then I’ll be in for a real treat!”

 

>~~~Anon’s POV~~~

 

>”I still can’t believe it!”

“After you’ve been going on about it for the whole trip back and last night neither can I Twilight.”

>It’s breakfast and Twilight had next to nothing to think about but the love letter you got the night you all went to Canterlot.

>”Well we’ve eliminated the possibility of it being either Princess Celestia or Princess Luna so that would leave either one of the guards or servants who got a hold of that scroll.”

 “Meh, maybe we’re overreacting. Besides, either way that stuff they left me was some of the best alcohol I’ve ever tasted.”

>”Well when a bottle of that size and that type of spirit costs 15,000 bits a bottle it better.”

>You spew your scrabbled eggs in Twilight’s direction after you hear that.

>She did manage to catch all of it in time though as she simply floated it off into the trash.

“Fifteen grand!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME IT WAS THAT MUCH? I could’ve sold that stuff and put a good down payment on a house for myself!”

>”Not legally anyway, Equestria’s liquor licenses require an established outlet for drinks and spirits to be sold. Even then you’d have to find somep0ny who’d be willing to buy it for that much.”

“Good point, guess I better make the most of it then.”

>There’s a knock at the door, you look up and see a familiar curly purple mane and white horn in the window.

>”Yoo-hoo. Twilight, Anonymous, are either of you home?”

>”Is that Rarity? I’ll get it!”

>Spike comes zipping down the stairs right to the door as he opens it for Rarity.

>It was a weird thing you found out after you first met the girls and Spike was how obsessed the little guy was with Rarity, you could only assume he had a crush on her but now it was a definite.

>"Oh why thank you Spike, are we all ready for our trip to the spa?"

>"Yep, I just need to put these dishes in the sink to soak and then we're ready." Said Twilight.

"So I won't be too much of a challenge for the spa to work with right?"

>"Of course not Anonymous, Aloe and Lotus are always excited to meet new clientele and especially when they're a race they've never worked with before."

"Alright we're ready, how about the others?"

>"Oh they said they would meet us there, after all the excitement we've been through this past month a spa day is just what we need to unwind."

>After you met the girls at the spa you met the twins who ran the spa, they were cute little mares with the sweetest sounding Swedish accents you've ever heard.

>They didn't seem scared of you at all, they showed you to the massage table first with little giggles as they showed you in.

 

>When they started on you, holy mother of god were they pros!

>Their hooves were much nicer on your back than you thought; you almost fell asleep from the combination of the massage, the music and the aroma in the air.

"Oh...my...gooooooood this is incredible."

>"Oh that's nothing darling, you have to try the sauna next and they'll have your err, nails filed to perfection."

>"Uh Rar, ah think Anon jus' fell asleep on the table."

"SNOORE...Zimbabwe."

>After the twins woke you up you had a half hour in the sauna (oddly enough it was a unisex sauna but you had a towel on) then you and the girls were in the main lounge room while the girls had finished getting their hooves worked on, Aloe was working on your nails while Lotus was working on Rarity's horn.

>Of course Twilight brought up the love letter again and now the girls were all ears.

>"Well I for one think Anonymous here is very lucky to have a secret admirer, especially somep0ny who's from Canterlot let alone so close to royalty!"

>"But then who the hay is it? It definitely can't be the princesses, but then again I can't think of anyp0ny else that would've met Anon."

>"Pfft, maybe it was Blueblood." Said Spike.

>Rarity sat up so fast she almost knocked into Lotus.

>"DON'T EVEN THINK LIKE THAT SPIKE! Anon deserves MUCH better than that awful rube of a stallion!"

 

"But I'm not even into dudes, besides he didn't seem like such a bad guy."

>"But Anonymous you weren't there to see his outlandish behavior at the gala, it was such a scene he caused when he used me as a pony shield just because of a cake!"

>"C'mon ya'll this ain't no place tah be negative, lets all jus’ relax now."

>After the spa you, Twilight, Rarity and Spike all said good bye to the girls as the four of you made your way to Rarity's so she could draft up some ideas for a suit you could use in the future.

>"But Anonymous darling it just sound so plain the suit you have in mind, I have plenty of gems at my disposal that can go into your ensemble."

"It's not plain, it's just...conservative."

>Then out of the blue a gray lump thumped into your chest in the form of Derpy a local mail mare.

>"Oh hiya Anonymous, I've got an express package for you."

>She pulls out a box, hoofs it over to you and then took off...into a nearby tree.

>"A package, who would be sending you something express?" Asked Rarity.

"I dunno, there doesn't seem to be a return address just a letter on top."

>You open the letter and notice right away that it has the same penmanship as the letter you got back in Canterlot.

 

>"I know you have trouble finding this so I pulled a few strings to help you cope with being an omnivore in pony society, consider it a friendly gift courtesy of our neighbors from the griffon lands."

>"Maybe we should open it at my house, I have a sneaking suspicion as to what's inside."

"Me too Rarity."

>The three of you leave the streets of Ponyville and enter Carousel Boutique to see what came for you.

"Now for the reveal."

>Twilight's horn lit up, as did the box and it opened up to reveal something wrapped in butchers paper.

"No, it couldn't be."

>You could smell it already; there was a cut of venison in the paper.

"Oh my god they sent me meat!"

>The girls looked a little grossed out, can't blame them since they saw Fluttershy tending to a deer the other day.

>"Oh dear heavens, we cannot allow Fluttershy to see this or it'll break her heart!" Rarity was looking especially repulsed.

"Well then what do we do with it?"

>"We're not going to be showing it around that's for sure, wrap it up and we can keep it in the ice box back at the library until we can come up with something. But Fluttershy absolutely CAN NOT know about this!"

"So...I guess that's a no on cooking it then?"

>Rarity and Twilight gave you a shocked look after that.

"I'm just sayin’ is all."

 

>You and Twilight leave Rarity's and arrive at the library with the venison in the box to keep it from being seen.

>"Okay Anonymous, just put it in the ice box and we'll figure out what to do with it."

>"What to do with what?"

>You both turn and see Spike with a stack of books in his arms.

>"Uh, nothing."

>Jesus these ponies suck at lying, especially Applejack.

>"Oh yeah, then why are you hiding "nothing" behind your back?"

>You and Twilight look to each other before she shuts all of the drapes and windows with her magic and sits Spike down in a chair.

>"Okay Spike listen closely, Anonymous got a package from his secret admirer today and its something you absolutely cannot tell anyP0NY about."

>"Well what's such a big deal?"

>"Anon I think you better show Spike."

"If you say so."

>You pull out the meat in the paper and show Spike the slab of deer meat to the little dragon.

>"Dude, is that what I think it is?"

"Yep, it's meat. Apparently my crush found out about my controversial diet and got some from somewhere in the griffon kingdoms."

>"Oh jeez, who else knows about it?"

>"Just us and Rarity, and hopefully we can keep it that way until we can find out what to do with it."

>"Can't Anon just eat it? Nop0ny can see us in here."

"If you mean eat it raw that isn't happening and I know cooking meat of any kind will have a distinct smell to it."

>"Why cook it? Meat eaters in the Everfree forest don't do it."

"Monsters in the Everfree also don't care if it has worms or if they get dysentery from it."

>"Okay then here's what we'll do, we can take it with us to Ghastly Gorge and you can cook it up there once it gets dark. It's far enough away from Ponyville that we can do it in secret and canyon eels won't bother comin after us for such a small haul."

"Works for me, you aren't gonna get squeamish when I cook it up and eat it right?"

>"I won't, but Twilight might."

>"Spike I've been around a raw slab of meat for a little while now without gagging I think I can stand to watch Anon cook it and eat it."

>"If you say so."

 

>Blueblood POV

 

>Anonymous must've received his package by now, a small offering should get him interested and if you go about this the right way he'll be yours.

>Now that you've sent him a mystery gift the next step should be something in person, perhaps you could treat him and his friends to a special event, but which one would they all fancy?

>The Wonderbolts?

>No you couldn't stand all of the noise and rowdy ponies that attend those shows.

>The theatre?

>Perhaps but Anonymous doesn't seem like the type that would appreciate it, he seemed more like a fan of the cinema.

>Aha! Perhaps a relaxing get away at a resort!

>You had your impressive villa on the cliffs of the Bridle Shores where you all could stay, and there are numerous venues Anon and his friends would enjoy while you work on winning his affection.

>All you had to do now was suggest to auntie Celestia that Twilight and her friends deserve a holiday from all of their hard work and that Anon would benefit from a trip across Equestria.

>Most of your greater duties for today were finished and your aunt only had to lower the sun in a few minutes, that should be a good time to speak with her.

 

>Anon's POV

 

>It was nine o’ clock when you, Twilight and Spike returned to the library after you cooked the venison you got today.

>Twilight almost up chucked while you cooked it and actually puked after you ate some of it.

>She said she doesn’t hate you for that but it was just that unnerving to see some one eat meat in person.

>Spike even tried a piece, he was indifferent about it so at least he won’t go on a rampage for more.

>But there was something you had trouble shaking, the letter you got from your stay in Canterlot was still in your pocket and it had begun to weigh a little more as you thought about it.

“You know something that’s been bugging me lately?”

>Spike and Twilight look up at you.

“The letter and liquor I got the night we were in Canterlot and the meat I got today all came from the same person but only AFTER I went to Canterlot, if it wasn’t from a member of the royal family maybe it was a guard, not a standard guard but maybe a higher ranking one who would have access to that kind of alcohol and have a way to get something from the griffon kingdoms.”

>”Actually there’s this one part of Canterlot where it’s mostly griffons and they do get meat from their homeland, maybe your secret admirer bought it from there.”

“Okay that rules out that half of the equation but what about the alcohol and the fact that my admirer knew I live in Ponyville, which pony worked the mail route, that I was staying in Canterlot Palace and the exact room for that matter?”

>”Maybe one of the girls is your secret crush.” Chuckled Spike.

“You think one of the girls did all of that?”

>”Well they all know you’re living in Ponyville and they all knew where you were staying when we went to Canterlot.”

>”Spike Anon’s only been here a month, I don’t think anyp0ny would fall head over hooves for him that quickly.”

“Yeah…but still, that last part about knowing what room I was in at Canterlot Palace is a biggie.”

>”Well even then who in our circle of friends would have a crush on you? N-not that I mean anyp0ny wouldn’t think of being with you I mean who would be the most likely!”

“I think it’s safe to say Rarity’s not a candidate, you saw how she reacted when she saw the venison. She could get that cognac but if she was “acting” surprised about the meat I would know.”

>”And how’s that?” said Spike who was getting ready for bed.

“I’ve seen Rarity “act” and not to sound mean but…she is a very over-the-top actress.”

>Twilight was suppressing a giggle but Spike looked annoyed.

“Well it’s true!”

>”Look Anon it’s late so how about we call it a night and think this over tomorrow?” said Twilight as she put out the candles in the library.

“Alright, sorry you had to see me eat meat.”

>She looked like she was going to hurl again.

>”D-don’t worry about it, we can’t change how we were made after all.”

“Thanks…so do you think its Rainbow who’s got the hots for me?”

>”Ugh, Anon I don’t know you two get along great now but even somep0ny as impulsive as Rainbow wouldn’t rush into a relationship.”

“But would Pinkie?”

>”I HIGHLY doubt Pinkie would be subtle about being in love with you.”

“Good point, she knows subtlety as well as she knows about personal space.”

>*BELCH*

>Spike burped up a scroll with a burst of green fire and both you and Twilight went to inspect it.

>”A letter from the princess, at this hour?”

“Maybe it’s from Princess Luna.”

>”No it couldn’t be, a message from her would have a lunar seal on it.”

>Twilight’s horn and the scroll both light up as the parchment unravels.

>As you both read the message Twilight’s eyes begin to grow in size.

>”A VACATION!?”

“Nice!”

>”NO, NOT NICE!!”

>”Hold up Twilight what’s wrong with a vacation?”

>”Don’t you guys get it? That means no studying, no work and most importantly NO RESPONSIBILITIES!!!”

>You and Spike both look at each other and then to Twilight.

“But that’s the whole point!”

>”Duh.”

>Tonight just got longer.