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# BluntTongs-Acteus & Anon: Pirates for a Day

By: mothpone on Jan 13th, 2014 | syntax: None | size: 7.52 KB | hits: 35 | expires: Never
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1. >"Anonymous, I'm bored. What should we do about that?"
2. >Acteus glances over to you with a dull and uninterested look on his face from his spot on the couch
3. "Well, I don't know. Could we build something together, or do something that's "out there?"
4. >you both try think of something interesting to do
5. >...
6. >you've got it!
7. "Why don't we be pirates for a day?"
8. >"...What the fuck are you on, Anon?" Acteus says looking rather interested in the idea
9. "No, seriously! We've got some leftover wood left from your man-cave, right?"
10. >"You want to build a pirate ship and sail down the river on it?"
11. "Fuck yes!"
12. >"Well, sign me up! Pirates for a day!"
13. "Pirates for a day!"
15. ---
17. >you set to work, hauling wood and hammering the buoyant materials together
18. >you're working on the mainmast outside, near the river
19. >the entire ship will only be about eight-by-eight feet, more of a raft than anything
20. >but whatever, you're running on ~Imagination!~ power now
21. >Acteus is working on the "main body," which will consist of a couple boards put together and some sealant to make it watertight
22. >"OOooW! Fhcknsht..." Acteus's words are muffled through his hoof he's holding to his mouth, trying to relieve the pain
23. >he's also trying to hammer in the nails with his bare hoof
24. >clearly, it's not going well, so you give him a tip
25. "Use the hammer to hammer in the nails, Acteus. That's what it's for."
26. >"No, I've got this." he says as he raises his hoof to bash in more nails
27. >as you turn to keep sanding the mast, you hear more muffled curses
28. >Acteus sheepishly walks over to your work area to pick up the hammer, and returns to driving nails
29. >you stifle a chuckle, and get back to work sanding the 'mast'
30. >A Few Hours later, you and Acteus are finished
31. >the two of you stand back to admire your handiwork
32. >it's a basic raft with short walls on each side, a large mast in the middle, and a giant white cotton blanket for the sail
33. >you've also got a makeshift rudder on the back to help steer
34. >"Fuck, yeah."
35. "Fuck, yeah!"
36. >you give Acteus a hand-to-hoofbump, and push the ship into the water, quickly jumping inside
37. >Acteus gives a mighty flap of his wings and leaps into the sizable vessel, splashing some water up in the process
38. >"Captain Acteus, reporting for duty!"
39. "First-mate Anonymous, also doing that!"
40. >"Haha, oh this will be great fun..."
41. >you gently float downriver in your little ship, with you steering to keep clear of rocks
42. >speaking of rocks
44. "Damn, we forgot to add cannons!"
45. >"Yeah, we -do- need those, don't we?... Why don't we just hurl some rocks instead?"
46. "Exactly what I thought."
47. >you maneuver the craft over to the shore and allow Acteus to fly off to gather ammunition in his ruck-sack
48. >you keep the vessel as close to the shoreline as possible, and soon enough Acteus comes fluttering back, small rocks filling the bag
49. >he lands inside the raft, dumping his stock in a pile in the center
50. >"Ammunition acquired!"
51. "Now we just need a target..."
52. >down the stream a bit, you see a large amount of yellow that seems to be congealed into one mass
53. >Hexferry
54. "Heave, ho! Tsun-Tsun off the port bow!"
55. >"Readying weapons!"
56. >Acteus grabs a hoof-full of pebbles
57. >Hexferry notices you in your little raft and scowls a bit, displeased at your "childish behavior," as she'd call it
58. >she doesn't notice, however, the harmless (yet irritating) pebbles within your grasp
59. "Ready..."
60. >Acteus changes positions a bit to get a better shot
61. "Aim..."
62. >Hexferry calls out to you
63. >"And just what do you think YOU'RE doing?"
64. "FIRE!"
65. >Acteus is just a goddamn pebble minigun, throwing volley after volley of the things
66. >"OW, FuCK, AHK, ooh-" is all she can say in return, trying to scurry out of the way
67. >as you leave range of Hexferry, she calls out again in a skyward scream:
68. >"ANONYMOUS! ACTEUS!," her voice filled with rage
69. >you sit down besides Acteus, snickering with him
70. "Ah, that was hilarious! Ol' Sexferry's not gonna be happy with us when we get back!"
71. >"Oh man, did you see her face, though? Priceless!"
72. >and you continue to meander down the river as you have a laugh at poor Hexferry's expense
74. >"...Don't pirates plunder things?"
75. "Yeah, they do. But that's illegal."
76. >"What about those baloons there?" Acteus points over to a baloon stand lying unattended
77. "Fuck, yeah, baloons! Get that shit in here!"
78. >Acteus leaps onto the shore with aid from his wings, grabs a baloon, and jumps back in
79. >"The raid was successful, First Mate!"
80. "Hooray!"
81. >you celebrate your theft of a free baloon with another fist-to-hoofbump
82. >and you lie down on the floor of the wooden vessel, gazing up at the clear blue sky
83. >Suddenly, Acteus jumps up
84. >"First mate! We've got a hostile approaching rapidly off the stern!"
85. >you glance back your flying assaulter
86. >it's Hexferry!
87. >and she's got jars of some yellow stuff, most likely honey
88. "She's gonna throw honey at us!"
89. >"Shit, I just showered this morning!"
90. "So did I!"
91. >thinking fast, you maneuver the ship in an effort to escape the horrible fate behind you
92. >Acteus picks up some leftover rocks and throws them at Hexferry, missing most shots
93. "Oh shit!"
94. >the river gets more turbulent, and more rocks start cropping up in the river
95. >the universe just seems to dislike you right now
96. >"First Mate, keep her on course!"
97. "I'm givin' her all she's got, Cap'n!"
98. >Hexferry calls out to both of you
99. >"You faggots, get back here and take your punishment like men!"
100. >the words take your focus from you, and the ship veers off course toward the bank
101. >well, gg guys
102. "SHIIIIIII-"
103. >"OH FUUUUU-"
104. >the raft hits the shore with such force, it hurls the both of you out of the vessel onto solid ground
105. >you recover quickly, helping Acteus to his hooves
106. "Get up Captain, we've gotta haul ass NOW!"
107. >"Agreed!"
108. >you and Acteus break into a sprint, running from the immenent honey bombardment
109. >you're halfway to the Acteus's house, but honey starts splattering the ground around you
110. "She's firing at us, Captain!"
111. >"I know, just keep running!"
112. >dodging globs of sticky honey for a good quarter-mile, you finally manage to reach the door to the house
113. >Acteus bangs open the door, you following right behind him
114. >hastily, he slams the door behind you and locks it, narrowly dodging one final glob of honey that lands on the carpet
115. >naturally, you're all out of breath
116. >"You'll get yours, you jerks!" you hear muffled through the door
117. >Hexferry lets out an exasperated sigh, and you hear her trot off
118. "I can't believe...That we didn't get hit..."
119. >your words come slowly as you try to catch your breath
120. >finally, after what seems to be ages, the two of you can breathe again
121. >"...That was really fun, actually." Acteus laughs a bit
122. "Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty good fun, wasn't it?"
123. >"...Oh, no!"
124. "What?"
125. >"I didn't grab our loot from the wreckage!"
126. "Aww..."
127. >...
128. >"Oh, well..." Acteus looks somewhat crestfallen
129. "At least we had fun doing it, though!"
130. >he perks up at the sentiment
131. >"Yeah, it was great! Thanks for suggesting that, Anon."
132. "Heh, no problem."
134. >Acteus yawns
135. >"I'm a bit tired from our little excursion, "First Mate.""
136. "As am I, 'Captain.'"
137. >you and Acteus walk down the stairs to the bedroom
138. >the two of you, exhausted, flop onto the bed
139. >"Haha, ah..."
140. "Thanks for joining me, Acteus. It wouldn't have been the same without you."
141. >"It was nothing. Now go to sleep~" he nods off, letting his consciousness drift away
142. >and you do the same, memories of soft flowing rivers and angry honey-throwing Moths filling your dreams
143. >but as your own consciousness slips, you're just able to discern Acteus hugging you in his sleep
144. >...
145. >Goodnight, Acteus~
148. [END]

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>"Anonymous, I'm bored. What should we do about that?" >Acteus glances over to you with a dull and uninterested look on his face from his spot on the couch "Well, I don't know. Could we build something together, or do something that's "out there?" >you both try think of something interesting to do >... >you've got it! "Why don't we be pirates for a day?" >"...What the fuck are you on, Anon?" Acteus says looking rather interested in the idea "No, seriously! We've got some leftover wood left from your man-cave, right?" >"You want to build a pirate ship and sail down the river on it?" "Fuck yes!" >"Well, sign me up! Pirates for a day!" "Pirates for a day!" --- >you set to work, hauling wood and hammering the buoyant materials together >you're working on the mainmast outside, near the river >the entire ship will only be about eight-by-eight feet, more of a raft than anything >but whatever, you're running on ~Imagination!~ power now >Acteus is working on the "main body," which will consist of a couple boards put together and some sealant to make it watertight >"OOooW! Fhcknsht..." Acteus's words are muffled through his hoof he's holding to his mouth, trying to relieve the pain >he's also trying to hammer in the nails with his bare hoof >clearly, it's not going well, so you give him a tip "Use the hammer to hammer in the nails, Acteus. That's what it's for." >"No, I've got this." he says as he raises his hoof to bash in more nails >as you turn to keep sanding the mast, you hear more muffled curses >Acteus sheepishly walks over to your work area to pick up the hammer, and returns to driving nails >you stifle a chuckle, and get back to work sanding the 'mast' >A Few Hours later, you and Acteus are finished >the two of you stand back to admire your handiwork >it's a basic raft with short walls on each side, a large mast in the middle, and a giant white cotton blanket for the sail >you've also got a makeshift rudder on the back to help steer >"Fuck, yeah." "Fuck, yeah!" >you give Acteus a hand-to-hoofbump, and push the ship into the water, quickly jumping inside >Acteus gives a mighty flap of his wings and leaps into the sizable vessel, splashing some water up in the process >"Captain Acteus, reporting for duty!" "First-mate Anonymous, also doing that!" >"Haha, oh this will be great fun..." >you gently float downriver in your little ship, with you steering to keep clear of rocks >speaking of rocks "Damn, we forgot to add cannons!" >"Yeah, we -do- need those, don't we?... Why don't we just hurl some rocks instead?" "Exactly what I thought." >you maneuver the craft over to the shore and allow Acteus to fly off to gather ammunition in his ruck-sack >you keep the vessel as close to the shoreline as possible, and soon enough Acteus comes fluttering back, small rocks filling the bag >he lands inside the raft, dumping his stock in a pile in the center >"Ammunition acquired!" "Now we just need a target..." >down the stream a bit, you see a large amount of yellow that seems to be congealed into one mass >Hexferry "Heave, ho! Tsun-Tsun off the port bow!" >"Readying weapons!" >Acteus grabs a hoof-full of pebbles >Hexferry notices you in your little raft and scowls a bit, displeased at your "childish behavior," as she'd call it >she doesn't notice, however, the harmless (yet irritating) pebbles within your grasp "Ready..." >Acteus changes positions a bit to get a better shot "Aim..." >Hexferry calls out to you >"And just what do you think YOU'RE doing?" "FIRE!" >Acteus is just a goddamn pebble minigun, throwing volley after volley of the things >"OW, FuCK, AHK, ooh-" is all she can say in return, trying to scurry out of the way >as you leave range of Hexferry, she calls out again in a skyward scream: >"ANONYMOUS! ACTEUS!," her voice filled with rage >you sit down besides Acteus, snickering with him "Ah, that was hilarious! Ol' Sexferry's not gonna be happy with us when we get back!" >"Oh man, did you see her face, though? Priceless!" >and you continue to meander down the river as you have a laugh at poor Hexferry's expense >"...Don't pirates plunder things?" "Yeah, they do. But that's illegal." >"What about those baloons there?" Acteus points over to a baloon stand lying unattended "Fuck, yeah, baloons! Get that shit in here!" >Acteus leaps onto the shore with aid from his wings, grabs a baloon, and jumps back in >"The raid was successful, First Mate!" "Hooray!" >you celebrate your theft of a free baloon with another fist-to-hoofbump >and you lie down on the floor of the wooden vessel, gazing up at the clear blue sky >Suddenly, Acteus jumps up >"First mate! We've got a hostile approaching rapidly off the stern!" >you glance back your flying assaulter >it's Hexferry! >and she's got jars of some yellow stuff, most likely honey "She's gonna throw honey at us!" >"Shit, I just showered this morning!" "So did I!" >thinking fast, you maneuver the ship in an effort to escape the horrible fate behind you >Acteus picks up some leftover rocks and throws them at Hexferry, missing most shots "Oh shit!" >the river gets more turbulent, and more rocks start cropping up in the river >the universe just seems to dislike you right now >"First Mate, keep her on course!" "I'm givin' her all she's got, Cap'n!" >Hexferry calls out to both of you >"You faggots, get back here and take your punishment like men!" >the words take your focus from you, and the ship veers off course toward the bank >well, gg guys "SHIIIIIII-" >"OH FUUUUU-" >the raft hits the shore with such force, it hurls the both of you out of the vessel onto solid ground >you recover quickly, helping Acteus to his hooves "Get up Captain, we've gotta haul ass NOW!" >"Agreed!" >you and Acteus break into a sprint, running from the immenent honey bombardment >you're halfway to the Acteus's house, but honey starts splattering the ground around you "She's firing at us, Captain!" >"I know, just keep running!" >dodging globs of sticky honey for a good quarter-mile, you finally manage to reach the door to the house >Acteus bangs open the door, you following right behind him >hastily, he slams the door behind you and locks it, narrowly dodging one final glob of honey that lands on the carpet >naturally, you're all out of breath >"You'll get yours, you jerks!" you hear muffled through the door >Hexferry lets out an exasperated sigh, and you hear her trot off "I can't believe...That we didn't get hit..." >your words come slowly as you try to catch your breath >finally, after what seems to be ages, the two of you can breathe again >"...That was really fun, actually." Acteus laughs a bit "Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty good fun, wasn't it?" >"...Oh, no!" "What?" >"I didn't grab our loot from the wreckage!" "Aww..." >... >"Oh, well..." Acteus looks somewhat crestfallen "At least we had fun doing it, though!" >he perks up at the sentiment >"Yeah, it was great! Thanks for suggesting that, Anon." "Heh, no problem." >Acteus yawns >"I'm a bit tired from our little excursion, "First Mate."" "As am I, 'Captain.'" >you and Acteus walk down the stairs to the bedroom >the two of you, exhausted, flop onto the bed >"Haha, ah..." "Thanks for joining me, Acteus. It wouldn't have been the same without you." >"It was nothing. Now go to sleep~" he nods off, letting his consciousness drift away >and you do the same, memories of soft flowing rivers and angry honey-throwing Moths filling your dreams >but as your own consciousness slips, you're just able to discern Acteus hugging you in his sleep >... >Goodnight, Acteus~ [END]