One Post Shorts 07/12/2013

Single Queen (Satyr)

 

>"Anon! How DARE you leave me like that! I had to raise Nymphette by myself! Do you know how hard it is, being a single mother? Raising a freak of nature isn't easy, never mind ALONE!"

>You can only look at her in disbelief.

>She sees your scowl, and returns it.

>As does your apparent daughter.

>"I didn't mean it sweetie, Mummy loves you."

>Chrysalis kisses Nymphette's cheek.

>You bite your lip, and look down from your ex's face.

>To the palanquin she rides on, supported at each corner by a trio of changelings.

>Then back to her.

"Alone?"

>At least she has the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

"Chryssi, you have an acknowledged honour guard of at least thirty, and I can see five more in the crowd. At what point were you alone?"

>She doesn't answer for a moment.

>"At night, Anon."

>"You stole my heart."

>A chuckle breaks past your lips.

"Chryssi, you're a monster. I don't think you've ever had a heart."

>She rolls her eyes.

>"Well sometimes I get cold hooves! But fine, fine! Just leave me, AGAIN, to raise our bastard child. Alone. Ancestors' know why I even bothered coming to see you!"

>With a flick of the head, she signals for the palanquin to be set down.

>She steps out, and paces over to you, her hard hooves clicking against the cobbled street.

>Nymphette hops out after her mother, and chases towards you.

>You open your arms for a hug, she is YOUR daughter after all, but instead you get a solid buck to the balls.

>"That's f'r makin' mummy cry!"

 

 

Moustache Ride (FSR)

 

With Celestia sat on your face,

Your parents'd call you a disgrace.

But it wasn't your fault

It was this or 'The Vault'

After thievery, you were put in your place.

 

Crystalline Heart

 

>"Sweetie? Cady, what's wrong?"

>You sniffle, and use a wing to lift away a few tears.

"N-nothing, Shiny, everything's fine. I'm just so happy to see Anon again"

>You cross your hooves under the sheet.

>He blinks, and furrows his brow.

>"Yeah, it's been a while since he visited. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to catch up with him, how's he doing?"

>/focus, Mi Amore/ you tell yourself /you can get through this/

"Alright. No big problems in P0nyville now Twilight's left"

>He stifles a chuckle.

>"And what was that thing with him?"

>You close your eyes, and fight back the furious red anger that spills forth at his words.

"That was his daughter. She's seven years old."

>He tries not to laugh.

>Just not very hard.

>"Pfft! Who's the poor mother?"

>Deep breathes.

"He didn't say."

>"Poor mare. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd upped and left him the little monster."

"What? I thought he was your friend!"

>He rolls his eyes.

>"Sure, years ago. But I still can't believe anyp0ny lowered themselves to sleep with him. Hey! Wait, where're you going?"

 

Lunch (Satyr)

 

>"DAAAAADDDD!!!"

"WHAT?"

>The house shakes slightly as the two of you shout to each other.

>Luckily, you don't have any neighbours. So you aren't going to be getting any complaints.

>"I CAN'T FIND MY SHOES!"

>A sharp pain shoots through your head, and you feel your eyebrow twitch slightly.

"BRAMLEY! GET DOWN HERE!"

>The stairs rattle and creak as she comes thundering down, bookbag settled snuggly to her back.

"Why do you need shoes?"

>"It's school! I can't go to school without shoes!"

>Raising a hand, you try to rub out the pain.

"Bramley... You have hooves, you don't WEAR shoes."

>You hear a snicker from the kitchen.

"Don't you start, 'Bloom, she has to have gotten this from your side of the family."

>"Daaaadddddd... Where are they though?"

"Bramley, you DON'T HAVE SHOES! It's ME that has shoes."

>You see realization dawn.

"Have you got your ribbon?"

>She fiddles in a pocket, and pulls it out, waving it around.

>You snatch it from her, and whirl a finger.

>She turns, and you tie up the bottom of her braid.

>A quick smile, and she's bounding out the door, hopping along the road to town.

"Did you give her lunch, or did she forget again?"

>A /thunk/ is your only answer.

"Right, I'll take it when I head to work."

>"C'mon then, get yoursel' some vittles first."

>You tuck into your porridge, and make sure to stick the packed lunch by the door.

>She might be a bit of a ditz, but she's still your daughter.

>Swigging the last of your coffee, you grab everything.

"I'll not be long. AJ just wanted a hand setting the stall up, but that's it. You're heading to the farm?"

>Applebloom nods, and pecks your cheek.

"Catch you later. Watch out for sap!"

>Dashing out the door, you can still hear her snort of frustration.

>And with that, you head to town, a small smile gracing your features.

 

 

 

Moonie (AiE/Satyr)

 

"Moonie, I'm home!"

>Silence greets you.

>No declarations of war. No monologuing. No surprise attacks from invisible bear assassins.

"Moonie?"

>Still no response. Maybe she's gone round to the Carousel Boutique, and spent the afternoon devising schemes for world domination.

>And stuffing herself with chocolate.

>A quiet whimper breaks the silence, coming from her room.

>Peeking through the door, you can barely make out her shape in the darkness.

>Her curtains are drawn, all the lights are off, and she's huddled under the duvet.

>You sit down at the foot of the bed, resting your hand on the quivering lump.

"Hey now, what's wrong?"

>The quivering stops.

>Suddenly, she bursts out of the bed, wrapping her arms tightly around your chest.

>Her cheeks are damp, and her eyes red. She's been crying, and for some time.

>"I... I don't like her!"

>You don't day anything, just continue rubbing her spine, gently grooming her.

>"She t-thinks she can take you from me! You're mine and I ha-hate her!"

>Should've known this was coming.

>Moonie's always been possessive of everything.

"She's not replacing you, you're still my favourite girl, you know that, right?"

>Moonie sniffs, and buries her head in your shoulder.

>"She's a meaniepants and she doesn't deserve you!"

>You smile, and ruffle her wings slightly.

"Well it's a good job I have you looking out for me then. C'mon, you can stay in my bed tonight."

>She doesn't let go, but you can feel her grip loosen slightly.

>"Promise you won't leave me?"

"Sure."

>"NO! Promise!"

"I promise I won't leave you. Are you going to be okay?"

>She just nods against your chest, mumbling almost too quiet for you to make out.

"I love you too, Moonie.

>Almost

 

 

Mummy's Clothes (Satyr)

Prompted by http://imgur.com/ERs5dfS

 

"Garret. Son. What do you think you're doing?"

>The room is lit only by a few, dim candles, but it's enough to see the blush spread from his cheeks, down his neck, and across his chest.

>"Oh! Father! I... I was..."

>He stutters and stumbles, unable to quite think of the right words.

"You were just wearing my wife's underthings. Your mother's underthings."

>Garret nods, but keeps his head low, staring at the floor.

"How do you think she'd feel, eh? Knowing her son, a trusted family member, was rooting through her private things."

>You see his shoulders start to shake.

"Do you think she'd feel safe, living with you? Do you think she would even be able to look at you again?"

>Pausing, you fix your scowl.

"Do you think that she could ever forgive you?"

>Garret snarls, and lifts his face, meeting your eyes.

>"Mummy loves me, and I'd never do anything to hurt her! I love her to!"

>You don't move.

>Just continue to stare at him.

"Except this would hurt her. I think it'd be best if she didn't have to find out about this, don't you?"

>Garret calms, slightly.

>"Father... Just what are you saying?"

"That if she ever hears about this, it would break her heart, Garret."

>Unhappily, he nods.

"And I think it would be for the best if you weren't here when she gets home tonight."

>He lets out a shocked gasp, raising a delicately manicured hand to his chest, before letting it drop, to the top of his thigh.

>"Father... I... No...."

>Cutting himself off, he turns away from you.

>You grunt, and gesture for him to continue.

>"Please, father, you have to understand!"

>"She's... I'm jealous of her! She's so beautiful, and you love her! Why couldn't you ever love me?"

>He bursts into tears.

>They sparkle as they roll down his face.

"Ga - son.

"I've always loved you. And I always will. You're my son, and nothing changes that.

"I... I just never got you, kiddo. You've too much of your mother in you. I love her, but I don't understand her."

>His lip quivers.

"Don't ever pull this sort of shit again, alright?"

>He nods.

"And burn those fucking clothes. You've stretched the crap out of them."

 

 

Suddenly... PENIS (Flutterrape)

 

>Early morning in Equestria.

>The sun is rising, the horse dongs poking through strategically placed holes in your walls bobble gently in the breeze, and birdsong fills the air.

>You get out of bed, stretching arms high into the air until you get the satisfying crack-ack-ack down your spine as vertebrae snap into alignment.

>Scratching the sleep dust out of your eyes, you let out a yawn.

"Wait a second..."

>There seems to be something wrong...

>And then it hits you.

"Why the fuck didn't you go off, you piece of shit?"

>The alarm clock shatters as it hits the wall, cogs and gears spraying around and bouncing off horse penis.

"Cheap piece of crap."

>Fucking ponies, man. They can't engineer for shit.

>Your stomach lets out a rumble, and you decide it needs filling.

>First, however, is clothing.

>Lifting your dressing gown off its conveniently placed horse cock, you swing it over your shoulders, sliding your arms into the sleeves.

>Pity nobody was around to see it.

>That was actually kind of cool.

>Breakfast is simple - an apple, and a glass of water.

>Or, you would have had a glass of water.

>But your sink doesn't work, and the tap is now black and fleshy.

>That's when it hits you.

>Literally, as the glistening black eel grows due to your handling of it.

"Why the fuck are there dicks everywhere?"

>You pause for a minute, thinking.

"I bet Fluttershy is behind this!"

>There's a knock on your door.

>There's also a nob on your door.

>You're pretty certain it's a horse nob.

>And there is no way you're touching it.

"No! Dicks coming from nowhere is not my fetish!"

>A loud groan, and the penises dissappear.

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

Corn Flakes (Satyr)

Prompted by http://imgur.com/4VdJDCv

 

"Cleo... Cleo, put down the wall-papering brush"

>"Look Daddy! I found a spaceship!"

>You manage to hold in your panicked moan.

>That's a forgeworld collectable, finecast, and one of the only things you still have of home

>"I painted mummy on it!"

>Oh dear lord no.

>plz no

>Cleo grabs your hand, and drags you over, showing off the giant white blob painted over the Holy Aquilla.

>The Great Emprah would be spinning on his throne.

>"And here's you, Daddy!"

>oh no...

>She's painted a giant smily face on the battle bridge, it's gigantic barrels your eyes.

"Th-that's lovely, sweetie"

>It's only force of will that manages to hold back the tears.

>She's used thick, gloopy, matte paint.

>The cracks and crevices are filled, there's no details, and the ship is ruined.

>"It's the Big Ship I Love You!"

>And just like that, everything's okay again.

"I love you too, Cleo"

>With a crackling cackle, the air in front of you splits in half, eldritch fire blossoming from nothing.

>You turn your head, shielding your eyes from the bright light, and pull Cleo to your chest.

>Sparks furiously beat against your chest, and a howling wind blows, carrying mad laughter, and the sound of heavy footfalls.

>The ground shudders underneath, as you hear whatever it was jump through the gaping hole in space.

>The thing's deep, guttural voice bellows, windows rattling,

>"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"

>A second voice chimes in, its higher pitch not fitting the words,

>"SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"

>You look down, hoping it isn't true.

>Cleo looks up at you, her once-purple eyes now glowing a deep crimson

>You close your eyes, and begin the Litany of Holy Terra, ignoring the mess in your trousers.

>Today was a chaotic kind of day

 

 

 

Sin (Flutterrape)

 

>Day Cardinal in Equestria.

>You are Anon, and you're fucking pissed.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT FLUTTERSHY?"

>She cowers before your wrath, knees trembling.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

>What you didn't know, was that she was a bit of a xenophile.

>She just didn't find ponies attractive.

>And was too full of pride to let you escape, she wanted to complete the collection.

>In her lust for your monkey dick, she'd never gone this far.

>Apparently envious of Lyra, your long term mare-friend, and her ability to get belly-rubs whenever she wanted them, Fluttershy had eaten her.

>Literally.

>She'd gorged herself to bursting on Lyra, like the gluttons of the Holy Roman Empire of old.

>"I... I thought that if I had enough of Lyra in me, you'd mistake me f-for her?"

>Of course, she hadn't stopped there.

"And what about Tootsie, eh? I can promise you, she wasn't getting any monkey dick!

"Or was it all pride then, managing to eat my entire family?"

>"B...but you loved her too!"

"She was Lyra's kid, of course I fucking loved her! Bugger it all, don't you fucking move!"

>You storm out, locking the door as you go.

>By the time you get back, Chief Inspector Horatio Mane in tow, she still hasn't moved.

>She's lazing around, and hasn't even bothered to move.

>Eating two ponies is obviously a cause for slothful behaviour.

>And to think, you could have avoided all of this, if you'd just spent last weekend

>fucking Fluttershy

 

 

 

Demons Souls (Flutterrape)

 

>You get out of bed, and slip on a banana.

>Crashing to the floor, crack your head on the bedside table, and die.

>You get out of bed, and avoid the banana.

>You shit, and start shaving.

>KnockKnockKnock at the door, which startles you. The razor cuts your throat, and you die.

>You get out of bed, avoid the banana, and go for a shit.

>You start to shave, but then pause.

>KnockKnockKnock on the door

"I'm busy, gimme a minute!"

>Picking the razor back up, you finish shaving.

"Alright, I'm coming!"

>Flicking the lock back to open, you open the door.

>It stubs your toe, and you die.

>You get out of bed, avoid the banana, go for a shit, and pick up the razor.

>Instead of shaving, you storm to the front door, and slam it open just as Fluttershy tries to knock.

>She ends up hoofing you in the head, and you die.

>You get out of bed, avoid the banana, stomp through to the bathroom, and grab the razor.

>Open the front door, and take a step back.

>Fluttershy isn't there yet.

>You run up the road, and see her leaving her house

"YOU!"

>She jumps, and turns, wings fluttering

"WHAT IN THE SORREL HELLS DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

>She mumbles something, and hides behind her mane

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SPEAK UP!"

>"U...um... D-d-does that mean th-that demon's s-s-s-souls isn't your fet-t-tish?"

>Your jimmies reach maximum rustlage, and your head explodes in your anger.

>You die.

>You get out of bed, and avoid the banana.

 

Lesbians (Flutterrape)

 

>Day Ireallyshouldbeworking in Equestria

>You've woken, shat, shaved and showered, and breakfasted.

>You haven't bothered getting dressed.

>No work today, so you'll lounge on the sofa, see if you can find anything decent on the Horse Box Office.

>The Neighstat brothers is normally worth a go.

>Scratching your balls, you're glad you don't jump too much when you hear knocks on the door.

"C'mon in, Flutters, I'm in the living room"

>She's always been a bit rapey, lunging after your "hot monkey bod", but she isn't exactly dangerous.

>More of a pest.

>But she's cute.

>You see her walk in, and you quickly tuck your balls back into your shorts.

>You have standards, after all.

>Noticing your quick movement, she manages to catch a glance, and lets out a scream

"Jeez, what's the matter Flutters? The stallions go round with their's just flopping all over!"

>It's always a surprise, walking around town, when you get a faceful of horseballs.

>"Y-you have b-b-ba...testicles!"

"Yes. Yes I do. I'm a bloke, Flutters, not a nullo"

>She shakes her head, her pink curls spinning

>"B-But I'm g-gay!"

>wut

"You're not though, you like me, and I'm a male"

>She pouts

>"Well then I'll just stop liking you!"

>She jumps to her hooves, and storms out.

>Quietly shutting your front door behind her.

>You continue to scratch.

>taptaptap on the window

>You look up, and see Fluttershy looking through at you

>"Are confused lesbians your fetish, Anon?"

>You get up, and walk over.

>Then shake your head, and close your curtains.

>Today was an average day

 

 

Bump. Again. (Flutterrape)

 

>You walk across p0nyville, the wind shrieking through the deserted streets.

>Here and there, windows are lit from flickering candles.

>But for the most part, everyone's asleep.

>And it's up to you, Anon the Watchman, to patrol.

>Which is stupid really, the ponies seem to have misunderstood.

>You're a clockmaker, not a police officer. But they don't seem to get that.

>A rustle comes from behind, and you whirl to see what caused it.

>Even with the bright light of the full moon, you can't catch anything there.

"I'm armed, you know! Stop causing trouble, and go2bed!"

>Something rustles from the other end of the street.

>You turn, just quickly enough for Fluttershy to barrel into your stomach.

>"BUMP"

>The hideously loud scream splits the night, waking the townfolk.

"Shhh! You've got to be quiet, Fluttershy!"

>"BUMPBUMPBU~"

>You clamp a hand over her muzzle, stopping her mid-shout.

>With the noise over, the windows go dark again, as the ponies go back to sleep.

>You feel her slimy tongue dragging across your fingers, coating your hand with salive.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? It's four in the fucking morning!"

>She tries to reply, but you still have your hand clamped down tight on her face.

>You realise this, and let go, wiping the spittle off on your shirt.

>"I was bumping you!"

"Well... stop it."

>"So bumping for attention isn't your fetish, Anon?"

>You shift your hand, concealing your mighty bulge.

>She can't know bumping IS your fetish.

>Because otherwise, you just might end up

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

Luigi (AiE)

 

>Day olderbrother in Equestria.

>You are Anon, plumber.

>Today's job was delving into the pipes under the Apple family's house, and unblocking them.

>Horse shit stinks, yo.

>Get home, shower, shower, shower.

>Really need to scrub that stank out.

>Stepping out, you scrub yourself dry with a coarse towel, before starting cooking your spaghettos.

>Just because you're a working class man doesn't mean you can't have a classy dinner.

>As you're wiping up the sauce, your doorbell goes.

It'sa open, c'mon in!

>Shit.

>It's butterflutter.

>Your on-again-off-again marefriend.

>Currently on, but you don't really want to keep with her.

>She's a lousy lay.

>You pull out the flowers, and lay them on the table, alongside the box of chocolates you picked up in the market.

Flutters, listen...

>"Oh no... oh no no no... not again, Anon, I love you!"

I'm sorry, really, but it just isn't working

>She flips the table, spaghetti sauce going everywhere

>"YOU SAY THIS EVERYTIME! HOW CAN YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME?"

>She's furious...

>Thinking quickly, you whip out your fake moustache.

>Christmas crackers have the best gifts

Look, it's not you...

>Her eyes overflow with tears, spilling and mixing with the marinara

It's-a me

>You have no idea what you're saying, words are falling out of your mouth

Mario!

>You hop through the window, and run away, snaffling down mushrooms.

>Eventually, you become the size of a dragon, and Celestia banishes you to the moon.

>And just think... none of this would have happened, if you just kept on

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

 

BluePoneGoRape (Flutterrape)

 

>day speedy mcgee in Equesria

>You are anon

>And you are proud to not be a horsefucker.

>Not that anypone pressures you or anything.

>You've been looking forward to today for a while

>Last week, Dash and AJ had their Iron Pony competition.

>Dash won, barely, but sprained herself a few times doing so.

>She's spent the last few days in the hospital, and got out yesterday afternoon.

>She went back to her cloud house, to sleep, but was planning on coming to yours today, for a day filled with whatever the fuck you felt like.

>You hear a knock at the door

"It's open, come inside, Rainbow Dash!"

>You hear the door click open, then slam shut a minute later. Light clops tell you Rainbow is coming over to you.

>She hops over the sofa, and sits on your knee.

>"I've been in hospital a week, and Dr Horse refused to fuck me."

>"Looks like it might just be your lucky day, Anon"

No, Rainbow, no! I don't want to be a hor-

>You are silenced as she sits on your face.

>Her fluids drip down your chin.

>She grinds, and maregasms.

>Soup squash.

>Soup squash everywhere.

>She lifts herself up, letting you breathe.

>You try to stand, and she backhoofs you across the face.

>You slump over, your head woozy.

>You can feel her rummaging around, then a damp warmth on your John Thomas.

>You lift a hand to your lip, and feel the blood.

>You might as well go with it, you really don't want her to break you.

>She sees the effect she's having, and flicks her tail.

>Today was the day you lost your poginity.

>And spent all day

>Fucking blueponegofast

 

 

Great And Powerful (Reverse Flutterrape)

 

>Day stupidsexytwilight in Equestria.

>You are The Great And Powerful Trixie, and you're renting a flat in p0nyville.

>They're helping you back on your hooves after the amulet incident.

>They're also holding you under a mild form of house arrest.

>Trying to 'psychoanalyze' you, or something.

>/knockknockknock/ on your Majestic And Imposing Door.

"It's open, come in!"

>You know it's Anon. He always comes over for a chat and belly rubs every morning.

>Your Wise And Loveable self enjoys his company

>And Celestia's teats!

>The belly rubs.

>It must be human magic.

>He comes in, holding a large cardboard box.

>"Trixie... I've been trying to show my feelings for you, but you didn't seem to understand

>"So I asked Fluttershy what I should do, and she said I should try and find your fetish"

>Ohgodwhy dot jay peg.

"Anon... The Lonely And Cuddlesome Trixie does not need you to guess her fetish! She shall inform you that her most Wondrous fetish is for magical human belly rubs!"

>What can you say?

>Nop0ny in town would have you, and he IS rather cute.

>And the belly rubs.

>Your Luxurious and Mighty Tail starts to lift at the thought.

>He sighs, and runs a hand through his hair.

>Your Unwashed Yet Gorgeous Mane is jealous.

>A "Well... Can I show you what I have, anyway? It would be a shame to waste it..."

"Trixie shall permit it"

>DANGIT. You've been trying to stop referring to yourself as Trixie.

>At least you've dropped your Cumbersome And Intriguing Adjectives.

>He opens the box

>And pulls out...

"Are wheels your fetish, Trixie?"

>IEOHIEFBOJETNOE

>Words cannot contain your Incandescent And Unbelievable Rage right now!

"OUT! THE FURIOUS AND HORNY TRIXIE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!"

>You start spraying sparks out of your Virile And Intimidating Horn

>He backs away, but not quickly enough.

>You up the ante

>Great billowing gouts of flame bloom around your sofa, consuming it into a Meagre and Warm Ashpile

>You hear your Singed and Broken Door slam shut as he runs off

"Bucking Anon"

 

 

Undying (Flutterrape)

 

>Day DONTUSETHATWORD in Equestria

>You are Fluttershy, and today, you're sure you can find Anon's fetish!

>He's so dreamy - he has lovely soft skin, all pale greens and browns, just like something from the forest

>He has a deep, deep voice, and it makes your bones rattle when he groans at you

>And he has such pale eyes, it's almost like he's looking right through you!

>Just thinking about him sends a shiver down your spine.

>Well, it would.

>But currently, you're wearing a set of scaffolding built around your body.

>Maybe overdone braces are his fetish?

>You need to find out.

>He doesn't live in a house, he normally shambles around the streets of p0nyville.

>So you, too, start to amble around, trying your best to find him.

>Oh!

>There he is!

>Oh how lovely, he's grooming Cheerilee's mane for her!

>And he's not using a brush!

>That Cheerilee sure is a lucky one.

"Anon! Thweetie! Are big braceth your fetithe?"

>He lifts his head from her mane, and she slumps to the floor.

>Oh my... He must be an excellent groomer!

>Maybe... Maybe he'd like to groom your mane?

>No. Stop that thinking Fluttershy!

>Anon's much too lovely to fall for a mare like you.

>A "Uhhhhhhhh"

>You close your eyes, and your tail lifts slightly as he moans at you.

>Golly, his voice just does such wonderful things to you!

>But his reaction is the same as it is everyday - he doesn't come rushing over to declare his undying love for you.

>You sniff back a tear, and turn to go.

>You'll leave him to his scarlet mare.

>Although you'll have to ask Cheerilee where she got her new coat colourer from

>Even though you're not as fashion conscious as Rarity, you can tell that a mane that shade would be to die for!

>You leave the alleyway, and head back home.

>Maybe tomorrow you'll get your chance at

>Fucking Anon

 

whoops (Flutterrape)

 

>Day NorseHammerGod in Equestria.

>You are Anon, and you are on your way to Everfree.

>Need some cash, and Zecora pays well.

>Fluttershy leaps out of a bush, holding a wet rag in a hood.

>How do ponies hold things?

>She clamps the rag over your face, pushing it into your nostrils.

>Seriously, how the hell does she do that? Her hoof is too big to fit there.

>You hold your breath, determined not to fall for her foul tricks.

>Tricks are for hoes.

>But eventually, you have to give in.

>You take a breath, through your mouth, so you don't suffocate.

>It's a bit more difficult than normal, due to the rag,but you don't pass out.

>Confused, you take another breath.

>Nope.

>Nothing happens.

>You reach, and grab Flutter's fetlock.

>Lifting it away, you knock the rag to the ground.

"Did you remember the chloroform?"

>Her face falls, and she hides behind her mane.

>F "T..the shop didn't have any. So I maybe might have...  *mumblemumble*"

"Damnit Fluttershy, you need to actually use mouthwords when we're talking"

>F "I th...thought maybe if I weed on it a little..."

>Celestia help you, but this mare is thick as pigshit.

>And just about as disgusting as rolling through it.

>You grab her with both arms, and chuck her out of your way.

>Head off into the forest.

>Ironically, collecting plants and mosses to make date-rape drugs.

>Fucking Zecora.

 

 

 

Inches (Flutterrape)

 

 

>Day ohfuckIhavenomoredrugsleft in Equestria.

>You are Anon.

>And for some reason, you seem to be tied to your bed.

>It's probably Fluttershy's fault.

>Weird things normally are.

"Fluttershy... You there? I really need a piss"

>Nothing.

>Fuck.

>You hold it in, and hope she'll come back soo-

BANG

>There she is.

>F "I have you now, Anon! Time for hot monkey dick! E...Even if that's not alright with you, I mean..."

>She's so adorkable it hurts, sometimes.

>Oh no, that's the ropes cutting off circulation in your limbs.

>She bits down on your trousers, and rips them away, baring you to the cold air.

>She nuzzles your balls, cooing into your pubes.

>You're a man, and have a crotch forest.

>Fuck society, you do what you want!

>It has been a while since you've had any action, apart from the lovely Rosie Palm...

>You figure you may as well go with it.

>You can't exactly stop her at this point.

>You stop resisting, and start to harden the fuck up.

>Suddenly, she stops her ministrations.

>F "I... is that it?"

>What?

"What?"

>F "Well... It's not very big, is it?"

>Okay, fuck this gay earth.

>You're not a tripod, but you've never had reason to be ashamed.

"Hey, I'll have you know I've never had a lover complain! I've got stamina, babe."

>What the hell?

>Do you WANT to be raped?

>F "I... I'm sorry Anon... This isn't going to work."

>THIS IS BULLSHIT

"THIS IS BULLSHIT"

>F "Umm... could you please stop shouting? I'll untie your arm, but then I have to go, okay sweetie?"

>You sigh.

>Equestria is just ridiculous.

>F "Mac's working on the Apple's apple stand... do you think he'd love me?"

>Fucking size queens.

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

 

Wait, sex? (Flutterrape)

 

>Day Thor in Equestria

>You are Anon, and you are worried.

>You haven't seen Fluttershy in a week or so, and you don't know what she's planning.

>You grab your trusty can of Mace (Black Ink - real iron!), and head out, to a world of adventure!

>Well, you head out to get the shopping.

>You've been running low on apples.

>And you're out of tea.

>A white blue leaps from the tree next to the path.

>You turn, ready to defend yourself, when a bear rumbles out of a bush on the other side.

>Suddenly, animals are pouring out of every piece of vegetation, surrounding you on the path.

>Your can of mace might have enough to beat back a few, but there's no way you can fight off this many.

>It seems like you might just be losing your poginity today.

>Fuck.

>It'd been a good run, at least.

>Fluttershy saunters along, the animals parting to let her through.

>Her face fixed with a slight grin

>F "I...I've caught you now! You have to love me!"

"Yeah... Yeah, I guess I do."

>You unzip your fly, and drop trou.

>You'll at least pretend you have some dignity

"So how are we doing this? Did you want to try... Dolphin style, I think Twi called it, or am I mounting you like a normal stallion?"

>Fluttershy looks confused.

"You look confused. Did you not expect me to just go with it?"

>F "What do you mean, position? I.. i just wanted a belly rub. i mean, if that's okay with you"

>Okay, what the fuck?

>You've been avoiding Fluttershy, who just wanted a BELLY RUB?

>this is just ridiculous.

"Sure. Let's go back to mine. I can get apples later"

>And spend the rest of the day glad you aren't

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

 

Monty Anon (Flutterrape)

 

>Day don'topenpic in Equestria

>You are Anon.

>You haven't had steak in months.

>No hash. No mince, no crackling.

>Nor turkey, chicken, or duck.

>No meat at all, really.

>TAPTAPTAP

"It's open Flutters, just come in."

>You don't hear the door open, but you can hear her breathing.

>You turn around, leaving your eggs and beans on the AGA.

>Fluttershy is coming down from the ceiling, her wings wrapped tight around her body.

>F "I b..brought you breakfast, Anon, if that's okay"

"Does it contain bacon? I'd seriously consider rutting you for bacon right now"

>F "W...well... Mr Bear went on holiday. Apparently the forest is full of c-c-cross dressing canadians, and it got a bit weird for him"

>F "But he left all his food, so I could *mumblemumblemumble*"

"What? You tailed off into gibberish after could"

>F "So I could save money on food for the little animals."

"That wasn't so bad, was it?

"So what did he leave, I assume you're offering?"

>F "Egg and Bacon, Egg, sausage and Bacon; Egg and Spam; Egg, Bacon and Spam; Egg, Bacon, sausage and Spam;

>F "Spam, Bacon, sausage and Spam; Spam, Egg, Spam, Spam, Bacon and Spam; Spam, Spam, Spam, Egg and Spam;

>F "Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam; or

>F "Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam"

"NO! I refuse to be part of this! Get out with you, I will not be turned into a cheap joke!"

>TAPTAPTAP

>It's the door again.

"FUCK OFF. NO ROOM FOR VIKINGS IN HERE"

>The door bursts open.

>Pinkie jumps through, balancing a car on her head, dragging

"Oh for heaven's sake Pinkie, why'd you kill Dash?"

>P "I'm not Pinkie. I'm Jack! And she isn't dead.

>Ohfuck, she's actually doing this

>P "She's just sleeping!"

"Right. I'm having no part in this. Jack, take her back home, she's pining for the fjords"

>The wall tumbles. Celestia is standing there, in a hat, wearing a mustache.

>C "STOP THAT! STOP THAT! THIS HAS GOTTEN SILLY

 

http://imgur.com/shtjN

 

 

 

Minuteman (Flutterrape)

 

 

>day sadtimes in Equestria

>You are Anon.

>what a surprise.

>And today, you're feeling sad.

>TAPTAPTAP

>You open the door.

>Fluttershy. In a schoolfilly outfit.

>F "Are afternoon detentions your fetish, Anon?"

>How could she?

>She just keeps coming over, rubbing it in your face.

"FUCK YOU!"

"I get it, alright"

"You bitches are all the same. I don't know how it got out, but yes, I'm a minuteman. now leave me the hell alone"

"I have enough to cry about"

>It was true.

>You were Anon, the minuteman.

>Not one of the MinuteMen (they're superheroes).

>A minuteman with a really sensitive nob.

>Sometimes you could last seventy seconds!

>But only when you were thinking of the most awful things you could.

>On the bright side, it meant your orgasms felt bloody awesome.

>Fluttershy's eyes are wider than dinnerplates right now, and she's got some drool leaking over her bottom lip

>F "A... A whole minute, Anon? You mean it?"

>Here it comes.

>The painful laughter.

>Fucking Shanon.

>She told everyone, and you never lived it down

>F "Y...you don't have to... but I'd..."

>She also damn near scared you off women for good.

>F "...even big Mac only..."

>And it took years of therapy before you could look even your MOTHER in the eye, let alone a woman you were attracted to.

>F "Although Pinkie said Snowflake can nearly hit thirty..."

>What in Equestria is she wittering on about?

"What in Equestria are you wittering on about?"

>F "I've never been with anypony who could last more than twenty seconds...

>F "Could you give me some hot, stamina fuelled, monkey dick?"

>Thisbitchsrs?

>Well... You have been kind of lonely.

>And if being a minuteman here makes you a legend...

>Looks like you'll be spending today

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

 

Taxonomy (Flutterrape)

 

>day King Prawn Curry in Equestria.

>alarm rings, you get up.

>same as every other day.

>go for a shit, have a shower. Shave in the shower.

>You're just that kind of bloke.

>As you button up your shirt, you hear a loud knock from downstairs.

"one minute Fluttershy, just let yourself in"

>thirty seconds later, you're letting yourself out of your room, and go downstairs.

>time for daily fetish guess.

>huzzah.

>she's dressed in a wetsuit.

>SCUBA gear as well.

"No, Fluttershy. Underwater sex isn't my fetish. Neither is fur-tight clothing, or bottled air. Or whatever it is you're planning on asking. I can state, categorically, that what you're wearing right now is of no turn on whatsoever."

>"But Anon! W-w-we could go down where it's better, down where it's wetter, under the sea...

>if you don't mind, that is?"

>stupid horse. Why can't she understand? She just isn't the mare for you...

"Stupid horse, why can't you understand? You just aren't the mare for me!"

brain?

>yes anon?

did I say that outloud?

>yes anon.

fuck.

>yes anon.

>"HORSE?"

>fuck. She sounds like Rarity did that time you asked to include a bridle.

>"I'M NOT A DAMNED HORSE!"

>It seems like you've engaged CAPSLOCKANGERSHY. She still doesn't breach sixty decibels.

>"HORSES ARE ANIMALS. I AM FLUTTERSHY. A PONY. AN EQUUS SAPIENS AVIS

>NOW STOP THIS MONKEYING AROUND AND GIVE ME YOUR HOT MONKEY DICK!"

>"If that's alright with you, I mean..."

>You sigh. Even pissed off, she's still Fluttershy.

>hang on...

>thinking cap equipped.

"Listen, though. If you're so uptight about taxonomy and shit, I can't give you hot monkey dick"

>her face falls.

>"But A-anon! I love you!"

>this just might work...

"Fluttershy... I don't know how to tell you this. So I'll just blurt it out

I'm not a monkey. I don't have a tail. I'm an ape."

>She glares at you.

>Actually glares, not a playful one.

>"Monkeys are my fetish Anon. So I guess this is goodbye.

>And that was the last time you ever came close to

>Fucking Fluttershy

 

 

 

 

Beta as fuck (Flutterrape)

 

>Day 'sureisbetainhere' in Eqeustria.

>You roll out of bed, then shower, shit, and shave. Oxford Comma baby!

>You get all dolled up, and stand behind your front door, sweating lightly.

>you hear a knock at the door, and the marinara starts to seep from your pockets.

>You don't notice, and accidently smear it across your face when you wipe off your sweat.

>You open the door, and see FXlXuXtXtXeXrXsXhXy, in all her pony glory.

>F: "Are silent 'x's your fetish, Anon?"

>The marinara isn't just seeping now, it's a spaghettifall out of your pockets.

"NO! Now go home Fluttershy, I can't ever love you!"

>You slam the door in her face, and fall to the floor, sobbing.

"Because I don't love myself.

"I'm not worthy of being loved"

>You take your clothes back off, and tidy them away,

>No need to be dressed, nobody comes to see you except Fluttershy.~

>And she never comes twice in one day.

>You wallow in self pity, and spend the rest of the day

>masturbating into a sock.

 

 

 

Acrostic (Flutterrape)

 

>God, you don’t know how many days you’ve been here

>Night falls, and with it, you hear the approach of her.

>Insipid, shallow, butter yellow pegasus

>Kicks the door open, and whispers

>”Could acrostic poetry be your fetish, Anon?

“Urgh. No enough with this shit. Go home.”

>Fluttershy

 

Clubbing Monsters (Flutterrape)

 

>Day Forest and Hills in Equestria.

>You wake up, and check your door for any missives from the guild.

>"Anon. A Yian Garuga has been spotted in the area. You have 100 minutes to kill or capture it. Deposit is 100G, reward is 750G"

>Seems like they DO have work for you today.

>You ease yourself into your blood red armour, pet your pig, and swing your Imperial Gun Hammer onto your back.

Hguh!

>For some reason, you're incapable of making real words. But your grunts generally get the message across.

>Day two hours later, and your quest is nearing time out.

>You still haven't actually found the damn thing.

>And then... You hear it!

>an absolutely horrific roaring scream

>"HEY ANON! I HAVE A LETT-URK"

>You swing your gunhammer down on the monsters head, and flatten it into the dirt.

>That doesn't normally happen...

>Fluttershy drops out of a tree

>"Is clubbing Spike your fetish, Anon?"

Gragrg

>"What about poorly concealed references?"

>She knows! Better be careful, or you'll end up

>fucking Fluttershy.

 

Thread Bump (Flutterrape)

 

>Wake up; shower, shit, shave.

>Because fuck you, I'll do it in whatever order I want.

>Get dressed, and check your shoes for hiding Flutttershys before putting them on.

>Pour a big bowl of bluep0negofast-o's for breakfast.

>Taste like skittles. and awesome.

>You have the day off, so you settle back in bed, with a decent book.

>You finally gave in, and started reading Daring Do. Surprisingly good.

>But her sidekick, Echo, is the more awesome one.

>Your morning continues, nothing really happening.

>Quiet except the occasional rustle as you turn the jimmi - pages. Definitely pages.

>Taptap on the window

The fuck was that?

>You look up. Nothing there.

>Taptap on the window.

>Again.

Okay, what the hell. Fluttershy, is that you?

>Your window shatters, glass flying everywhere.

>Fluttershy lands on the floor, bleeding slightly from a multitude of cuts.

>F "Is... Is bumping for attention your fetish, Anon?"

"No."

"Fuck off, Fluttershy."

"And I expect you to pay for the window."

>She slinks off, mumbling something under her breath.

What was that?

>F "I'll get you, my pretty, and your hot monkey dick, too!"

"No, you won't. Because I'll never even consider

>fucking Fluttershy"