Title:           Fluttershy - Voldemort
Author:          morning
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Y4VTVW9y
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of January 2013 09:22:58 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of January 2013 09:22:58 AM CDT

>You are Voldanon.
>Dark Lord.
>Villainous Wizard.
>Apparently really sexy.
>Your alarm goes off.
>You swish your wand (thirteen inches, yew and phoenix feather), and blast the clock through the wall.
>Another wave of your wand repairs the new hole in your wall, and a corkscrew motion causes a new clock to appear, out of thin air.
"Damned dirt pone electro-trickery!"
>You slide out of bed, and wrap your dark cloak of +7evil around your shoulders.
>Suitably attired, you pace downstairs, a bowl of unborn pegasi foetuses pouring themselves as you swirl your wand around.
>Being a wizard is awesome.
>Unfortunately, it seems the milk has gone off.
>And you can't eat pegasi foetuses dry.
>That would be disgusting.
>You vanish the bowl and its contents, then summon an apple out of the cupboard.
>Malfanon always did say "eating healthily keeps your skin glowing, and your health at a peak"
>He was such a fag, sometimes.
>But, you suppose, it is easier to swell the hearts and minds of the stupid population when you don't look like a demon snake thing.
>Your doorbell rings.
"REDUCTO"
>You are allowed to be nervous.
>That damned witch, Twilight Sparkle, is almost as weird as Bellatranon.
>And if that old fool had ever taught you anything, he'd taught you to never stick your dick in crazy.
>T "Hi there, Tom!"
>And that's the other thing that annoys you.
>Not only do the non-magical horses act as equals.
>But everyone insists on calling you your filthy muggle name.
>Tom.
"GO AWAY! I'm busy!"
>You peek through the hole in your wall.
>She's leaving, her ears plastered to her skull, and her tail tucked beneath her.
>You go back inside, and finish off your apple.
 
>You decide to have a cup of tea whilst you still have the time.
>At least THESE pones drink proper tea, like a proper Lord, and not that filthy muck they drink in 'Canterlot'.
>By the time you've finished brewing it, you've calmed down.
>A bit.
>Well...
>Okay, not much. You still want to kill all the dirt pones.
>But you wouldn't hurt them in the process.
>Maybe a cruciatus here or there.
>You'd let the orange tree kicker go though.
>She gave you apples, and didn't try to talk too much.
>Another knock at the door
"INCENDIO!"
>Flames spew from your wand, burning the entire front wall of your house to a crisp.
>You'll repair it later.
>Magic is might.
>And awesome.
>Fluttershy stands there.
>Such a stupid pone.
>She keeps trying to make you love her.
>She doesn't understand you can't love, not after your horcruxes.
"Go away. I am in no mood to deal with your adventures today."
>F "Is... Is the wand of destiny your fetish?"
>Wait
>What?
>How the fuck did she get that?
"How, by Merlin's testicles, did you get that?"
>F "Umm... Well... *mumblemumble*"
>Sod it, it doesn't matter how she got it.
>All that matters is you need it.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
>The green light hits her, and falls over. You grab the flying wand, and lift it to the sky.
>A giant lightning bolt descends, crashing into you, like one of those filthy muggle contraptions.
>F "I... is that a yes, then, mister?"
>Circe's cunt! You'd forgotten.
>The killing curse doesn't work on pones.
>Apparently, they don't have souls.
>They're like gingers in that way.
>Damned pones.
>Damned Weasleys.
>Damned Potter.
"Yes. I suppose it is. Now go away. I have countries to conquer!"
>F "N...not if I tell the princess on you!"
>Well. She has a point.
>The pretty pone princess probably wouldn't like you killing all the dirt pones.
"What would it take for you to not tell her?"
>...
>You decide her deal might just be worth it.
>Even if you have to spend the rest of the day
>Fucking Fluttershy