Title:           Fluttershy - Doveman
Author:          morning
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/RXB18hm1
First Edit:      Tuesday 15th of April 2014 06:02:11 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 15th of April 2014 06:02:11 AM CDT

>Day ornithologist in Equestria.
>You are Anon, and you race doves.
>Not yourself, because that would be silly.
>What you do is collect and train wild doves, then race them against each other.
>Then rake in the profits from the gamblers.
>It's a cushy life, but someone has to do it.
>You've finished feeding time, and are comtemplating napping, when there comes a tapping from your front door.
"A visitor!" you exclaim "I'll be two minutes"
"Only that, and nothing more"
>The noise stops, and you take off your bird-feeding apron.
>It wouldn't do to open up to a visitor, whilst covered in bird shit.
>You peak through the security window, but can't see anything out there.
>Which is no surprise, as it's at head height, and ponies are only waist height.
>But it makes you feel more at home.
>You undo the latch, and swing open the door.
>"C...Caw. Caw?"
>She flaps her midnight black wings, and flashes her sharp beak.
>You swing shut the door, and do the latch up.
"Raven's aren't my fetish, Fluttershy. Although good work with the dye and the paper mache."
>Ignoring the squeeing from outside, you settle back, to resume your napping.
 
>Day ornithologist 2 (bird harder) in Equestria.
>You're still Anon, and you still race doves.
>Not yoursel... we went through this already.
>You've fed the doves, and yourself, and are settling in with a book about Equestria's more exotic birds.
>Maybe, by this time next year, you'll be able to race PHOENIXES!
>Wiping the drool from your chin, you let out an embarrassed cough.
>You're just thankful nobody was around to see tha-
>PRAPATARAPPATAPTAPAPARAP
>For Sol's sake, why can't it be the normal ponies that get obsessed about you?
"What do you want today, Fluttershy?"
>"Flutters wants a cracker!"
>Wat.
>The black dye isn't fully washed out, but she's painted all over herself with blue and yellow.
>"Who's a pretty b-birdy?"
>It's difficult, but you manage to hold in your laughter.
>"Brawk?"
>Her confused squawk is all you need to lose it, and you double over, clutching at your sides as you wheeze in laughter.
>"Pretty Flutters?"
>You break out in another resurgence of giggles, and have to wipe the tears away from your eyes.
>Eventually, you regain the power of speech.
"Look, Fluttershy, parrots aren't my fetish either. And I don't know where you got that idea from."
>She looks sad, and drops her splayed wings.
"But I'm sure you'd do well in a costume contest.
>She turns tail, and bolts.
 
>Day ornithologist 3 (bird hard with a vengeance) in Equestria.
>You're still Anon, you still race doves against each other, and you still don't know why Fluttershy is completely infatuated with you.
>Today would normally be the day you do a full clean of the birdcages, but that takes time, so you thought you'd leave your pretties safe until after today's guess.
>The front door's open, and the cool breeze plays through the house.
>Your gravelled path scrunchcrunchcrunches as something walks up it.
>Putting down the book on phoenixes, you stand and make your way over.
>"Coo?"
>You feel a slight twitch in your trousers.
>Fluttershy has grey-toned herself out, somehow.
>She's lost all colour, and looks like something from a wildlife documentary in the 1960's.
>Another twitch.
>Sweat beads on your forehead.
"S... So what's today's guess, Fluttershy?"
>"Coo... Coo"
>You have to finish this before you start tenting.
"Go on then, what is it?"
>She beams at you, eyes sparkling in delight.
>You haven't let her get this far with a guess in months.
>"I thought about it, Anon, a-and I wondered it perhaps..."
>She pauses, and scuffs her hoof in the gravel,
>"I wondered if perhaps, being a studier of birds..."
>You bite your lip.
>"Are... Are doves your fetish?"
"MOTHERFUCKER!"
>You scream in rage, and punt her over the horizon.
>She was so close, too.
>But perhaps it is for the best...
>After all, your father would never forgive you if he found out you were a pigeon fancier