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The Silliest Thing I've Ever Written...EVER! [Non FR]

By: minion_of_Lulu on Apr 7th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.88 KB  |  hits: 177  |  expires: Never
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  1. From those roll threads.
  2. >My life is shirt...
  3.  
  4. >Stallion
  5. >Father - Braeburn
  6. >Mother - Cadence
  7. >Born in Ponyville
  8. > Conceived through consented intercourse after marriage.
  9.  
  10. Well then...
  11.  
  12. >Seems the marriage between Cadence and SA went to shit.
  13. >All SA could think about was Twily.
  14. >Twily this and Twily that.
  15. >Even during lovemaking, he called out his sister's name.
  16. >Cadence wasn't going to deal with that shit.
  17. >After 2 years, the marriage was slowly beginning to rot.
  18. >By year 4, she had enough and wanted a divorce.
  19. >SA had no qualms about her decision.
  20. >News of the divorce spread throughout Equestria.
  21. >Four years of her life down the drain.
  22. >After the divorce, decides to take a vacation.
  23. >Head to Appleloosa, since it's far out of the way from the rest of civilization.
  24. >Most of the townsfolk knew who Cadence was.
  25. >Treated her with respect, and gave her kind hospitality like she was just anyp0ny.
  26. >No one brought up the divorce.
  27. >Wander around the apple orchard at night.
  28. >On her walk, she meets Braeburn.
  29. >At first, she find his personality a bit...out there.
  30. >Completely different from the Canterlot or Crystal ponies.
  31. >But there was something about him that was was charming.
  32. >They talk.
  33. >The get to know about each other more.
  34. >Learn that his cousin is one of Twilight's friends, and a fellow bearer of the Elements of Harmony.
  35. >Not that had any sway on how she felt about him.
  36.  
  37. >Days turned to weeks.
  38. >Her vacation stay became longer, just to be in his vicinity.
  39. >She invites him to come visit her in the Crystal Empire.
  40. >He accepts.
  41. >Over the years, the two dated.
  42. >Visiting each other a few months out of the year.
  43. >Braeburn heading up north in the summer, and Cadence going to the desert in the winter.
  44. >They keep in touch.
  45. >Braeburn eventually pops the question
  46. >The crystal princess says yes.
  47. >Their wedding wasn't as grand as before.
  48. >No changeling attacks this time.
  49. >That wedding night, you were conceived.
  50. >10 months later, Cadence visits Twilight to see if she's broken up about the divorce.
  51. >She was a little miffed, but doesn't blame her.
  52. >Secretly, she was hoping it would end so she could take her brother for herself.
  53. >She goes into labor in her tree-house.
  54. >Panic, panic everywhere.
  55. >Braeburn calls her cousins from the farm.
  56. >All of the Mane 6 are there.
  57. >Fluttershy helped with the birth since time was of the essence.
  58. >After a few hours of screaming in the Royal Canterlot Voice, shouting every profane word known in the Equestrian language at her husband, you were born.
  59. >"It's a Colt!"
  60. >Every p0ny in the room daws.
  61. >Spike had passed out from the sight.
  62. >Cadence held you in her hooves.
  63. >And this is where your life begins,
  64. >As the Prince of Ponyville.
  65. >Okay, not really.
  66. >But you do become the future Mayor of Ponyville.
  67. >And it becomes the richest town, rivaling Canterlot.
  68. >Because you know your way around politics...
  69. >And Applebucking.
  70.  
  71. >autism
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