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Capt. Anon

By: minion_of_Lulu on Nov 26th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.55 KB  |  hits: 256  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Race to Save the Equestria!
  2. >You're driving in your P-Zero racer.
  3. >You're tied for 1st.
  4. >Spike the dragon is really your only competition.
  5. >And you're his idol.
  6. >He wants to be just like you.
  7. >And you see he has potential.
  8. >On the final lap.
  9. >Everything goes smoothly...until the darkness came.
  10. >In the sky was an evil yellow pegasus who wanted to destroy all of Equestria.
  11. >But to do it, she needs your power.
  12. >And she must rape you to attain it.
  13. >And you weren't going to let that happen.
  14. >Press a button, open up a two-way communication with Spike.
  15. Sorry Spike, but this is where our competition ends.
  16. >Spike gasps.
  17. >"No, you can't do this Capt. Anon. Not alone."
  18. >You shed a tear, your helmet hiding your tear-stained face.
  19. Sorry, this is my fight. But I do know one thing.
  20. >You turn to his car, giving your signature smile.
  21. You willlive on my name as the new Capt. Anon. Don't let me dow, bro.
  22. >"CAPTAIN ANON!! I WILL RAPE YOU AND TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA!!!"
  23.  
  24. >You give Spike a thumbs up and press the eject button.
  25. >Song starts to play: http://youtu.be/h_SxVtf6Nk0
  26. >Ejected into the sky.
  27. THIS ENDS NOW EVILSHY!!!
  28. >Evilshy is now divebombing towards you.
  29. >"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!! PREPARED TO GET RAPED!!!"
  30. >You cock back your fist. You felt the power coursing though you!
  31. >This is it, for the fate of P-Zero's future.
  32. >No...
  33. >For all of Equestria!
  34. >ANON...PUNCHU!!!!!!
  35. >Your helmet flies off, showing your manly [DATA EXPUNGED] colored eyes and [DATA EXPUNGED] hair.
  36. >Your fiery fist of justice moves at the speed of light.
  37. >The punch connected to Evilshy.
  38. >Everyp0ny looks up into the sky.
  39. >Celestia is hiding like a little bitch.
  40. >Luna's home playing video games and shit.
  41. >But all the other ponies stare in awe.
  42. >Spike shouts from his racer.
  43. >"CAPT. ANON!"
  44. >Evilshy lights up like a Hearth's Warming Eve Tree.
  45. >She can't believe this is happening, being destroyed by her rape target.
  46. >"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Light bursts through her eyes.
  47. >You give one final smile.
  48. >The both of you blow up in a huge explosion that could be seen many light years away.
  49.  
  50. >The dust settles.
  51. >Spike wins the race.
  52. >He becomes the next Capt. Anon.
  53. >Gets all the bitches.
  54. >Takes over the throne.
  55. >Fucks Celestia and makes Twilight his slave.
  56. >Luna still playing games.
  57. >In space, your crest from your helmet is the only thing intact.
  58. >It falls back to the land of Equestria on Spike's lap.
  59. >Smiles as he thinks of you.
  60. >"See ya around, great racer."
  61. >Afterlife...
  62. >You're now a pony.
  63. >Evilshy is human.
  64. >She fucks you silly.
  65. >...At least you saved Equestria.
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