The C-Listers: First Flight

The C-Listers

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Be Roman Roland

 

>Parents moved from Canada to Canterlot.

>Got jobs in this place.

>But I say the government's got to them and that we moved here to escape execution.

>Fucking President Meghan. Why can't we get a break?

>I'd be a better president than her! No more criminals! It would be safe, always!

 

>Well, not like it was any more safer in Canada.

>Moose always peeking at my window every night with their antlers.

>A-And those maple syrup jars those Canadian mayors always gives to us.

>Think I'm not on to them? Trying to brainwash our minds with pancakes and butter?

>THINK AGAIN!

>FOR MY NAME IS ROMAN ROLAND

>AND I-

 

>"Roland, eat your cereal already! You've been looking left and right for ten minutes!"

"Mom! I was simply being cautious! I mean, what if there a moose outside our house again?"

>"Trust me, Roland. There are no moose in Canterlot."

"THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK!"

>>"Son, eat your breakfast. You don't want to be late for your first day in school!"

"And be early for my death sentence? No thanks."

>"Oh honey, don't be so paranoid. No one's out there to kill you."

"Hmph."

 

>You continue eating your breakfast.

>Every bite you take could as well be your last.

>I'm on to you 'Generic Cereal' breakfast company...

>You and your free eyepatches...

 

Canterlot Streets

 

>Been walking for three minutes.

>Phew, alright, no signs of cereal poisoning so far.

 

>You take out your huge map of Canterlot.

>Because trusting electronic gadgets for maps is dangerous.

>Yeah, I blame Apple for that.

 

"Alright, so...Already here,  take a left here, turn right, go to the overpass..."

>Sounds safe enough.

*BEEP BEEP*

"GYAAAH!"

>You jump into the bushes of unknown territory.

>You peek out the bushes. It's just a taxi.

>Goddamn taxi drivers, trying to steal all your money by making them jump out of your pockets.

>This would never happen back at Italy.

 

>"Ahem."

"AAAH!?"

>You jump out of the bushes to see a woman holding a shovel.

"OH GOD, I DON'T WANT TO GET BURIED ALIVE!"

>"What in blazes are you talking about?"

"You don't think I'm on to you lady? YOU'LL NEVER BURY ME! NEEEVEEEEHHR!"

>You got up and ran away screaming FREEDOOOOOMM.

>The woman just scratches her head in confusion.

>As you ran away, you bump into a large kid of aqua-colored hair and orange shirt.

"AHH-OOOFF!"

>You drop to the ground in recoil.

>The man looks at who bumped him from behind.

>The woman drops the shovel and comes to your aid.

>>"Hey, you alright?"

>"You alright there?" the lady added

"N-No! Don't kill me! I still have so much to do in my life!"

>"Calm down! We're not here to kill you."

>The lady pulls you up.

>You immediately checked your hand for electronic bugs.

"W-what do you want from me?"

>"What? We don't want anything from you. We're just checking if you're alright."

"Uhh."

>"In fact, you seem weirder than that purple transfer student from yesterday."

"Yesterday? I thought school starts today!"

>"It's Tuesday."

"ALARM CLOCKS HAVE BETRAYED ME."

>"Ookaayy..."

>She then tries to introduce herself.

>"I suppose we haven't properly introduced yet. My name's Sweetleaf, but you can call me Mary." the woman says. "You guys students of Canterlot High?"

>The big guy I bumped into is sweating like bullets.

>>"Name my is..no ...no wait, uhh...my name is Pete Pasta. I don't k-know the guy." the big guy said.

>"You must be new here." the woman says.

"H-how did you know that? WERE YOU TWO SPYING ON ME?"

>"Nah, because you feel a bit tense. I know alot of people like that."

>She gets a small packet from her pocket.

>"Here. Have something to 'calm' you down."

>She hands you a packet. Green stuff in it.

"What is this?"

>Something to soothe your mind.

"Ahh, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS!"

>"Well don't shout it out loud!"

"N-NO! I'M NOT GOING TO GO TO JAIL!"

>You then ran away from the two.

"NEEEEVAAAAAAARRRR!"

>Your voice echos from miles away.

 

Be Sweetleaf (Mary Donna)

 

"Darn, and I thought that guy was an 'herb' enthusiast."

>You then looks at Pete Pasta.

"You want one? First try's free, big guy."

>"W-well, I...not to imply but...err...ahhh..."

>Spaghetti comes out of his pockets like popcorn.

>"I-I'm going to be late for class!"

"OOH! I FORGOT, IT'S 8:00!"

>You then run towards your scooter and put on your helmet.

>After that you then rode it and drove to where the Pete's standing.

"Want a ride? First one's free~"

>The triple  entendre almost kills him.

"Come on, big guy."

>You pull him to the back of your scooter and then you drove off, much to his pocket's dismay.

 

>Driving safely, you notice that paranoid guy running on the sidewalk.

"Hey, paranoia guy!"

>>"OH NO! GYAH!"

>He walks faster. He's sweating more than Pete.

>You look behind. Pete's already trying to avoid eye contact.

>You then try to talk to the paranoid man.

"I never caught your name."

>>"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, THEN!"

>He then runs faster than a speeding sports car.

>...

>Damn, the school could use someone like him the track club.

 

Be Roman Roland

 

>Finally arrived at school.

>Goddamn that woman, trying to get my name.

>Next thing you know, she had already dox'd my information and might as well sack my home.

>SHit! They might even find my dolphin porn.

>They might even steal it.

>Those sick fucks!

 

>Walking towards the school, looking left and right for anyone who's willing to drive a knife behind you.

>As you walk, you then bump into a woman. A student to be more precise.

>She has the weirdest hair you've ever seen. It's like someone went to burgerphile and smothered her head in mustard and ketchup.

"Oof!"

>"WATCH IT, FRESH MEAT!"

>The resulting bump causes the woman to spill her milkshake on her coat

"Ah shit."

"The woman to grab you by the shirt."

"AAAH! W-WAIT!"

>"I'LL PUT A PADLOCK TO WHERE I'M TAKING YOU."

>Well, there goes my life.

>SO LONG, MOM AND DAD.

>MY LIFE IS A SHIRT NOW.

 

>>>"Hey!" says a lady.

>You and the woman holding you look to the direction of the other lady.

>It's that woman from before. The one trying to sell me some weed.

>Behind her is that big guy who seems to have the smallest amount of self confidence a guy could have.

>>>"Come on, Shimmers. You're acting like a kid."

>"A kid? This guy PURPOSELY trashed my outfit. It's ruined!"

>>>>"I...I think w-we could all solve this problem through p-peace!" the big guy says.

>"I am, by taking his money and locking him up in the janitor's closet!"

>She then turns around.

>"ANYONE ELSE DEFIES ME?"

 

>Complete silence in the hall. Seems like she's the school's bully.

>And I thought the moose were evil.

 

>>"HOLD IT!"

>*spinningaxe.mp3*

>A guy with shades throws an axe at Shimmer's locker.

>"AAH~"

"HOLY JEEZ!"

>>"Starting a fight at hall? THAT WILL COST YOU A MONTH'S DETENTION."

>"Back off, hall monitor, or feel the wrath of Shimmers!"

>The man then walks towards her.

>His gaze pierces through his shades.

>Shimmers sweats.

>"A-AAhh..."

>>"YOU DEFY YOUR PUNISHMENT?"

>THe man's nostrils expand with such intensity.

 

>"W-Whatcha gonna do about it? You can't hit a g-girl!"

>The woman lets go of you, but that's not the end of it.

>The man with the shades grabs her by the shirt and talks to her in a really demonic voice.

>"AAHhH! OH GOD, OH GOD."

>>"TWO. MONTHS. DETENTION.

>He then staples a slip up her forehead with a stapler.

>"AHH! I'M BLEEDI-"

>He then spins around while he holds her and prepares to throw her out.

"Holy sh-"

>"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

 

>>"BACK. TO. THE. CLASSROOM YOU GO!"

 

>He then throws her through the nearest door.

*CRASH*

>She lands on a wall. Stuck to it from the velocity and force of the hall monitor's throw.

>Whoa.

>>"And that's the end of that."

>You stood by, fearing and looking at the man in awe.

>>"Are you alright citizen?"

"I...I'm fucking fine! A-Are you a security guard here?"

>>"I am merely a hall monitor, making sure that the students of this school are safe and that they are following the rules."

"OH THANK GOD, A MAN OF THE LAW. THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!"

>You held on to his arm like a scared little girl.

>>"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to back off before I give you detention for 'Unlawful Contact' with a federal officer."

>The big guy, Pete Pasta, pulls you away.

>>>"C-Calm down man!"

>Shit! HE'S GOING TO CRUSH ME!

"HELP! I'M BEING CRUSHED!"

>Axel dusts his arm off before asking Pete and Mary.

>>"Is this guy okay? He seems to be...paranoid."

>>>"Yeah, we just met the guy too. He acts like everyone's out to kill him."

>>"New guy?"

>>>"Yeah."

"HELP! DON'T LET HIM TURN ME INTO A CUBE!"

>You shake and struggle.

>Finally, the man of the law asks Pete to let you go.

"Oh thank god, I was almo-"

>The hall monitor slaps duct tape on your mouth.

"MmmmPh!"

>>"You were annoying."

>He then turns to Pete and Sweetleaf.

>>"Alright, since you people seems to know him best, I'd like you to show him around the school, and then bring him to Vice Principal Luna for debriefing."

>He looks right at you.

>>"Don't worry, new student. You can trust these students. They have yet to break any of the school laws."

>He then takes off the duct tape.

"AAHK! MY MOUTH!"

>>"Enjoy the stay here, new student. Don't break the law."

>He then walks off.

 

>"You alright there?"

"Ahh, I'm fine."

>"Calm down, mate. Like we keep telling ya, we're not gonna kill you."

"W-well, if that guy says so, then I trust you two. Ahh, thanks for sticking up for me against that crazy woman."

>"It was no trouble. She was our resident cunt anyway."

"Ha-ha. Uhh..."

>"Alright, well, I suppose we should give you a tour. After all, Axel says so."

"Axel? That hall monitor?"

>"Yeah. He's weird, but we have weirder students here in Canterlot High."

>>"A-and sometimes the unluckiest."

>He points to the front door.

>Another student, new it seems is being made fun of. He's wearing a beanie.

 

>Students labelling him 'racist' and 'skinhead'.

>The new guy runs away from the audience of taunters.

>"Poor guy. We'd help him out, but I...or rather we've already have our hands full with you."

>She then extends her hand.

>"Anyways, let's start off with the introductions again. My names 'Sweetleaf'.

>The big guy extends his hand as well. "Name's P-Pete."

>You then shook both their hands.

"My name's Roman Roland."

>"Alright Roman. Like the Roman emperor, we're going to be your guides towards this 'City of Rome'.

>She walks you towards the school.

>Looking left and right, you see a small poster.

>"Candidates for school presidency."

>Mother always said I would make a good leader.

>Maybe I should sign up, one day.

 

>Well, I made it this far, and best of all, I'm not dead yet.

 

>My name is Roman Roland.

>I fear everyone is out there to kill me.

>Transfer to a different school because of my parent's jobs.

>Come here, almost getting beaten up by a woman.

>Saved by two students and a hall monitor.

>And I still think that woman will try to kill me at any given moment.

>This is going to be a long year.

 

End