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Normal Norman: Principal Celestia's Civil Birthday

By: lyingcake852 on Mar 2nd, 2014 | syntax: None | size: 35.06 KB | hits: 88 | expires: Never

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Normal Norman: Principal Celestia's Civil Birthday
__________________________________________________
Be Norman
Your house, 7:00 AM
>Ahh, just a beautiful morning in Canterlot city.
>The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the best part is, you haven't even gotten out of your house yet.
>You wash your face in the bathroom, then the aroma of bacon and eggs fills your nostrils.
>Down you go to the dining room, a hot plate of breakfast with a note that says: "Enjoy, we'll be out for the whole day. Mom and Dad"
>The whole morning to yourself.
>You gracefully ate your delicious sunny side up and that crispy juicy bacon.
>It's like eating in paradise.
>After eating, you wash up, took a bath, and readied yourself for the Monday morning.
>Surely this is going to be a great day.
>You come outside the house, and breathed deeply.
>The sun's shine blinds your sight for a moment, but that doesn't stop you from smiling.
>Looking at the sky, you proudly yell:
"THIS DAY IS GOING TO BE A GREA-"
>"NORMAN! GET THE FUCK DOWN!"
>What?
*BANG* *BOOM* *EXPLOSION.MP3*
"WHAT THE HELL? OOFF!"
>Brad tackles you to the ground.
>Smoke fills the air. You can't see shit.
>Explosions all over the city.
>All the neighborhood houses are covered in paint!
"BRAD! WHAT'S GOING ON?"
>"What? Haven't they told you?"
"WHAT? THAT IT'S WORLD WAR 3? TACKLE YOUR FRIEND DAY?"
>"Dude..."
>Brad stands up, and you get a look at what he's wearing.
>Same outfit, but wearing a bandana. His jacket is ripped and the smell of paint all over his pants.
>He dramatically waves his hands around.
>"NORMAN! TODAY IS THE DAY!"
"WHAT DAY?"
>"TIS THE ANNUAL CELEBRATION OF PRINCIPAL CELESTIA'S BIRTHDAY!"
"WHAT?"
>"AND THE THEME OF THE DAY IS..."
>He leans towards your face. Piercing eyes right at you.
>"PAAAAAAIIIINTT BAAAALLL DAAAAYY--AAAHHH" he says in a Japanese manner.
"W-WHAT?"
>He hands you a pistol paintgun.
>"Ready your ass, partner. TODAY, WE ARE FACING THE APOCALYPSE!"
>Brad jumps out and begins randomly shooting everywhere.
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**RATATATATATTATATATATA*
>"EAAT ORANGE, YOU BASTARDS!"
>Paintballs everywhere.
"Brad! They're returning fire!"
>"What? GUUKKH!"
>Brad is shot from the smoke. Machine paintgun shots all over his body.
>He looks like he fell into a large pool of skittles.
>"AAAHK!"
>Brad dramatically falls to the ground.
>You come to his aid.
>"N-Norman sama! I cannot continue on!"
"Brad, shut up, you're not dying."
>"Don't ruin the moment!"
>You carry his fatass all the way back to your house, but before you could take a step, a huge missle is fired from the distance.
"What the..."
*KAAABLOOOOOOOSHHHHH*
>The missile ...colors your house...partially.
>The house is covered in pink. The roof is damaged!
"Holy shit!"
>"L-Leave me Norman! I'm done for anyway!"
"Shut up and let me think!"
>You walk around with Brad. He's acting like he lost a leg.
>"OH THE TRAGEDY! I'LL NEVER SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN."
>Good god, it's like he took drama classes from Aryan Beauty.
>Speaking of which...
"Hey Brad, since our crazy principal just had us go on an all out war in the city, how's the girls?"
>"The girls? Not good. They're not on our side!"
"WHAT?"
>"Yeah. Once the principal announced the theme for her birthday celebration, the girls had already formed a team, minus Twilight."
"Purple didn't join?"
>"Nah, you and Purple weren't IN the assembly!"
"There was an assembly?"
>"Didn't you read the letter?"
"I...Well Purple and I cut classes yesterday for her 'magical experiment' business."
>"Dude...were you two..."
"I swear, I am not seeing your waifu!"
>"Alright. You're my bro and I forgive you."
[[bromancing intensifies]]
"So what else is happening?"
>"Lots of backstabbing, lots of cult forming, etc."
"Care to give me the details?"
>"Let's see... Octavia made a Nazi team on her own, that German bitch. The rest of the solo wanderers either joined the side groups or hid in their homes."
"I don't get it. What happens if they win?"
>"You can form a group of up to seven. If you survive the day, all remaining groups are at a face off at school by six o clock. The real winner or winners gets the whole school year off with 100% grades."
"WHAT?"
>"Yeah, I know. We have a weird academic program."
"W-wait, how DO you win?"
>"Oh, we have these things."
>Brad shows his bracer at you.
>"Indicates whether or not a paintball has simulated a bullet wound. If you got hit in the heart or head with the paintball, you're out. If the bracer is taken off or completely covered from paintball bombs, you're out."
>He gets something from his bag.
>"Here, I got your bracer from the school.
"T-thanks?"
>"Trust me, hommie. If you lose, at least we bros had fun.
>You put on the bracer. You're registered as late, therefore penalty by having the bracelet at 20% damage.
>"So what's the plan, hombre?"
"Well, for starters, we have to find Purple."
>"You serious? She's probably TERRIBLE at paintballs. She doesn't even play video games!"
"Yeah, but she's a science girl, and we need a girl like her to make...like chemical bombs and shit."
>"Or maybe some meth to distract the stoner team."
"There's a stoner team?|
>"Yeah. Contrary to the popular belief, they don't quit easily, despite heavy bruising."
"Well shit."
>"Say bro, do you think they had already recruited Twilight? I mean she IS living in Fluttershy's home."
"Oh yeah...I forgot about that."
>Well, time to cross out Twilight off the recruition list. Now it's just me, Brad, and two guns that fire paint balls.
>I wonder to where the road will take me...
9:00 AM
>"Brooo...I'm starving."
"Didn't you eat breakfast?"
>"The assembly was 5:00 AM. I couldn't have breakfast."
"Ugh. Fine, let's go to the convenience store."
>You and Brad head on to the convenience store.
>It's been bombed and crashed. I presume looters are in there.
"How the hell did the mayor approve this?"
>"You know how the mayor got her job?"
"How?"
>"She was a student in Canterlot High. She won the position during PCeles' twenty fifth birthday."
>wat.
>You enter the convinience store. The store is silent. You could drop a pin and hear it.
>"I...NEED...TWIIINKIIIEEES!"
"Calm down, the aisle is just near us."
>Brad lets go of your shoulder and runs to the twinkie aisle.
>As he picks up a Twinkie, he notices a rope attached to it.
>"Oh shit."
"What?"
>"ITS A TRA- BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!*
>The twinkie aisle explodes with pink and purple colors.
>The wrappers and other products fly towards your face.
>Shit, your beanie's been tainted with pink.
>You stood up and looked for Brad amidst the smoke and paint.
>You found him, lying down and twitching.
"Holy shit, that was one hell of a Twinkie trap, Brad."
>"I...I can see the twinkie god! It's circling around my head."
>Before you could pull Brad up, you hear a distant voice.
>>"HOLD IT!"
>You turn around and saw Nolan,Lis...err...Amy, Vinyl and three other students aiming their paintball guns at you.
"Ahh shit."
>You aimed at Nolan with your paint-ball pistol.
>>"So you do have some balls in you, Norman."
"Dude, just let us walk away! We have nothing of value."
>>"Actually, you do. You see, paintballs are today's version of shekels."
"What, like in the Metro games?"
>>"You could say that, now drop the gun and you can go without a hundred paintball wounds out of here."
"Man, I don't even want to-"
>Brad stood up from the paint and spoke to you.
>"Don't give in, Norman! If I can't win this thing, you must win it for me!"
"Brad, just stay down and rest!"
>"No. Today, I face my end!"
"What?"
>Brad passionately rips off his shirt and he reveals two belts of paint bombs strapped on him.
*SHWWIIIINGGG*
>His abs blind Amy and Vinyl.
>>>>"HE'S TOO HOOT!" Cried out Vinyl and Lise...err...Amy.
>Brad shows off his body for three seconds, and then puts his hands on the paint grenades.
>He looks at you with his eyes.
>Oh god, dem eyes. They shine like the stars.
>"RUN NORMAN! FIND MORE COMPETENT ALLIES!"
"BRAD! DON'T BE STUPID!"
>"Too late...bro."
>He shows you his bracer.
>"I'm already at a 99% loss."
>Nolan yells, saying OPEN FIRE!"
>Brad shields you from their fire. He's wounded and bruised from so much impact paintballs.
>"RUN!"
>You heed his word and ran far away while snatching a bag of sweets from the store.
>Gonna need them carbohydrates.
>Brad, despite the open fire, ran towards Nolan and his army while yelling [spoiler]"I BELIIEEVEEE!!!!"[/spoiler]
>Brad activates his paintbombs and the bombs explode
*BLOOOOOOSHSHSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSHHHH*
>You look at the store from afar.
>The interior of the store is completely painted.
>You held your hand up high, sarcastically saying
"Rip in pieces, Brad."
>You then walk away, scratching your head.
>Meanwhile in the store.
>Nolan looks at his bracer.
>Amy and Vinyl are unconscious.
>>"Crap. Lost at the start of the game."
>"Well, all's well that ends well."
>>"Dude, you're covered in blue."
>"Heh. Wanna grab a burger, dude?"
>>"Totally."
>Brad and Nolan stood up and left the two girls to grab a burger.
>>>"Assholes..."LisAmy said.
10:30 AM
*BANG**BANG*
>You dodged and rolled all the way to the school.
>Because honestly, you didn't know where to go, but you promised Brad you'd see the end of this damn game.
*BANG**BANG*
>You got one in the head.
>"Aww...man!"
>You then kicked his nuts and stole his gun.
>Not like he's going to need it anyway.
12:00 PM
>So...damn...hungry.
>You found a safe spot and looked left and right.
>Paint everywhere, but no sign of any looters.
>Good enough for me.
>You took a chocolate bar and bit the top off.
*crkickle*
>You hear something moving.
>Not a good sign.
>You stood up and aimed your gun.
>Walking backwards, you look left and right.
>Out comes Diamond Tiara with her turret paintball and fires away.
"ACK!"
>You ran like mouse, avoiding all fire.
>Her assistant, Silver Spoon, appears from her hiding spot and holds you at gunpoint.
>"Don't mo-GAK!"
>You slap her with your chocolate bar. She misfires.
>Blinded by diabetes inducing food, you grab her paintball shotgun and ran away.
"Wait, who else hangs out with those middle-schoolers? Oh right, Snips and Snails."
>Right on cue, Snips jumps from the balcony.
>"AAIEIEIEIAH!"
>You just stop and let him fall in front of you.
>"OOOF!"
>You took his gun and held him at gunpoint.
>"PLEASE! NOT THE FACE!"
"Dude, just tell me where your best friend is going to ambush."
>"S-snails joined with Trixie's team! I haven't heard from him since!"
>Crap.
>You then put a paintball on his head.
>"Oh come on!"
"What? Not like you're dead or anything!"
>You ran away before Silver Spoon or Diamond Tiara could show up.
1:00PM
>At the city park.
>The gunshots have mostly been silenced.
>Probably because lots of casualties in the morning.
>Either that or they're camping.
>Fucking campers.
>...
>You hear scrumpling from behind.
>You 180 degree'd and aimed your gun. No one's there.
>But somehow, you hear voices.
>From below!?
>You lean your head down,
>>"I don't think we can trust, besides a new member isn't a must!"
>"I...I think Norman could be a good member to our team! Besides, we're only three here."
>"Fine, but if he tries anything stupid, I'll shoot him like he's cupid."
>>>"Careful who you crush on, Sophie."
>"I don't have a crush on him! I-Idiot!"
>Sounds like a bunker underground.
>This city gets stranger every day.
>You got up and tried to find the entrance to it.
>Carefully analysing every footstep.
*CLANK*
>You stepped on something metallic.
>You got the dirt off it and found a metal entrance.
>Lifting it up, you dropped in on the women who were talking about you.
>"AHH~"
"You know, if you guys are trying to hide, you shouldn't talk so loud.
>You see three girls: Zecora, Sophia and Bonbon.
>>>"Hey look, Sophie's future husband found us."
>They all point their guns at you.
>Sophia tries to calm them down.
>"W-Wait! He hasn't fired at us, so we don't have to treat him as a threat." Sophie says
"Look, I'm not here to fight! Just trying to survive!"
>>>"We can't trust you. You're probably here to OPPRESS US! What do you have to offer?"
"I...err... got sweets."
>You show them your bag of chocolates. Bonbon just came.
>>>"Oh...My....Okay fine, you can stay, cis scum."
>"See? He's a nice guy!"
>>>"Alright fine!"
>>"It would seem we have a comrade. I would have thought we'd find Brad."
"Brad...err... died at the convenience store as a suicide bomber...if you know what I mean."
>Sophie tries to make a conversation. She strokes her hair on the right side.
"Hey, thanks for backing me up. Hard to find some comrades in this crazy game."
>Sophie is paralyzed. How she sees you is how she sees someone at a swimming magazine that panders to women.
>"I...I...ahh~"
>>"Forgive my friend right here. Not every day she talks to boys so near." Zecora tells you.
"Say, don't you guys hang out with Axel Jones? Where's that crazy sonnovabitch?"
>"The principal excluded him from the game in exchange of buying him a rare mint condition Judge Dredd comic book. He's now one of the over watchers of the game."
"huh?"
>"That's right. If a student attacks a 'dead' student or the other way around, he kidnaps the offenders and uses them as cannon fodder for the school's defence system. Literally." Sophie says.
"Literally!?"
>>>"Yeah, he literally shoves them in the school's cannons and uses them as ammunition."
"..."
>"Everyone here's fighting for a chance to skip the whole school year."
"I can see that. Tell me something I don't know."
>"Bonbon's one of our top tech students. She hacked the nearby restaurant's wifi to get info on all the registered teams."
"Hacking? Don't you mean guessing?"
>Bonbon suddenly breathes down your neck from behind.
>>>"Don't test me, boy."
"GYAH!!"
>"Yeah, she does that."
>Bonbon goes back to her seat and checks the school's records.
TOP TEAM SURVIVORS (Order of lost casualties)
>M@ne6 - Canterlot High Gym, 6 members, no casualties
>The Gr8 Trixie and pals -Canterlot High Auditorium, 4 members, no casualties
>TalentCrusaders - Canterlot High Grounds, 3 members, no casualties
>Team Tiara - Crossroad Alleyway, 3 members, 1 casualty
>B 1isters-City Sewers, 4 members, 1 casualty
>Looks like Brad's hunch was right. Purple's with the six now.
"What happened to your team's casualty?"
>"Lyra forgot to give a fuck. She's probably at home now reading horse magazines or something."
"Err..."
>You read the top team survivors on the screen.
"Looks like they're holed up at Canterlot High."
>"We have three hours left to get there, otherwise, we forfeit."
>>"Let's just give up. We'd end up in a mud of muck.
"Maybe you can but I can't I promised my..err.. dying friend that I must win this, for him."
>Bonbon stands up an speaks.
>>>"And besides, ONE YEAR VACATION! THINK OF ALL THE CHOCOLATES I COULD EAT WITH THAT MUCH FREE TIME! THINK OF ALL THE OPPRESSED CIS SCUMS I CAN BERATE ON THE INTERNET!"
"err, yeah. Sure. Le-"
*BONK*
>Something's moving upstairs.
*BONK*
>Looks like they found the entrance.
*BLOOOSHHH*
"WHOA!"
>Down goes Diamond Tiara and her band of remaining comrades.
>>>"AHH! SAVE THE CHOCOLATES!"
>Bonbon grabs the chocolates.
>>>>"PAINT EM, GIRLS!" Diamond yells
>Zecora then stands infront, saying "RUN! I'M ALREADY DONE!"
>>"Norman! To the secret exit!"
>>>"Norman! Pull the lever!"
>You pull the lever, and it reveals an altar of you on the left side.
"ahh..."
>There's even a voodoo doll.
>"AAIIEE, THE OTHER LEVER!"
>Sophia pulls the other lever and the exit opens.
>>>"We'll see you in hell, Zecora!"
>And by hell, she means tommorow class, if she loses as well.
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
>Zecora manages to hit everyone, at the cost of her getting disqualified herself.
>Diamond Tiara jumps in her place in complete anger.
>>>>"NOTFAIRNOTFAIRNOTFAIR!!!"
>You and the rest of the remaining B-listers got out.
>As you help Sophie out of the hole, you look around the city.
>The smell of paint fills the air.
>Smoke everywhere.
>It's a goddamn Civil War.
"Bon, how much time do we have left?"
>She looks at her bracer.
>>>"Two Hours Left."
3:00 PM
>You, Bonbon and Sophie wandered towards Canterlot Grounds.
>Janitor Sombra's pissed that he's forced to clean up everything.
>Once more, the place is quiet...too quiet...
>>"N0m, nom nom."
"Shh...I think we're being watched. Also, close your mouth when you're chewing."
>>"You close your mouth, white man!"
"sigh..."
>As you walked to the valley of the shadow of death, you and the two girls slowly walked towards the door...
>Carefully, slowly, ste-
*CRICK*
"Goddammit, who stepped on the twig?"
>"M-My bad." Sophie says.
>Suddenly, a cute squeaky voice from the bushes is heard.
>A voice that can only belong to...
"Oh god, is that mini-Aryan?"
>>>"TALENT CRUSADERS, GET THOSE WANDERERS!"
>>>>"Then we can finally earn our 'Shoot first ask questions never' badge!" Applebloom added.
"SHIT! DUCK!"
>You and the two girls dodged the incoming fire from the cute elementary girls.
*RATATATATATATATTATATaTTA!*
>"THEY HAVE MACHINE GUNS?"
>>"I think they made those out of Nerf guns."
"Well crap-a-doodle-doo." You say as you got your paintball pistol out.
>When the firing stopped, you returned fire and tried to shoot at the little girls.
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG!*
>No luck. All missed shots.
>>>>"FIRE AGAIN, SCOOTALOO!"
*RATATATATATTATA*
>"Maybe we should wait for them to run out of ammo?"
"And wait for one of them to circle around to shoot us with a pistol paint? Too risky."
>>>"YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER!" Scootaloo taunts.
>Sophie thinks to herself for a moment.
>She then looks at Bonbon, still helping herself to some sweets.
>"Give me that bag."
>>"NO! MY CHOCOLAAAATTEES!"
>Sophie grabs a bucket of ice cream, opens it and throws it directly at the Scootaloo while she's reloading.
*plop*
>>>"ACK! MY EEEYYEES! IT'S FULL OF CHOCOLATE!"
>>"Chocolate!?" Bonbon says fanatically.
>Seeing Scootaloo's head drenched in ice cream, she runs on her hands and legs, scaring the Talent Crusaders.
>>>"AAAHH! IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!"
>They try to shoot at Bonbon, but her lust for brown sweets made her evasive.
>"COme on, Norman! FIRE AT THEM!"
"Right!"
>In slow motion, you and Sophie rose from the bushes and fired like a Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
>Paintballs slowly reaches the Talent Crusader's heads as Bonbon licks the chocolate off of Scootaloo's head.
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
>They all stumble in their places, their bracelets beeping as they are disqualified from the match.
>>>"AAHH! GET HER OFF ME!" Scootaloo yelled as Bonbon ceases to function as a human being.
>"Bonbon! Get off of her!" Sophie says as she sprays her with water."
>>"*PTWEEEY* ACH! HEY! ENOUGH, WOMAN!"
"Alright, hand over your guns."
>>>>"Oh man, now we'll never get our 'Skip school all year long' badge."
>>>>>"Come on, Applebloom. Fair's fair." Mini-aryan says as she hands over her machinegun.
"Thanks. Say, where's your sister?"
>>>>>"Currently waiting for 5:00 PM to strike so she and her team can skip school all year long."
"Thanks for the info."
>Sophie puts a collar and a leash on Bonbon as she holds her bag of sweets in her other hand.
>You and Sophie head on inside the school.
>The place is a mess.
>Paint balls everywhere.
>Hundreds of students take a rest in the cafeteria, where Granny Smith's serving 'Loser Leftovers'.
>Safe to assume that they're all disqualified.
>Your group then goes inside the auditorium. It's the nearest to the gym after all.
"Hmm..."
>"No lights. You think it could be a trap?"
"No...it's for the theatricality of it."
>The auditorium lights up. Smoke comes from the stage as two students (Snips and Scott) stands on the side.
>In the middle, rising up from the ground, a woman with the ego larger than Brad's STD count stands with great pride.
>>>"MUAHAHAHAHAH. BOW DOWN AND OFFER YOUR WEAPONS TO THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"
>>"Booo! Your show sucks!" Bonbon yelled.
"Shh!!!"
>>>"HOW DARE YOU MOCK THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE. GRUNTS, ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKK!"
>Scott takes his fedora off and pulls out a paintball shotgun. Snips readies his SMG and fires away.
*BLAASSH!*
*RATATATATATATATATTA*
>"Ack! They're too far away!"
>>"I can't even get close without them firing straight right at us."
>"Hmm..."
>Sophie thinks to herself once more.
>"I GOT IT!"
>Sophie gets her hand in the chocolate sack and pulls out a a gumball.
>"HERE, CHEW THIS!"
"O-Okay!"
>You went on and chewed as quickly as you can.
>"NOW BLOW!"
"A-PHHHBBBTTT!"
>You blew the pink gum into a spherical shape from your mouth.
>Sophie grabs a small piece of string and carefully detatches the balloon gum from your mouth.
>Tying it up so the air won't come off, Sophie throws it at Scott.
*POP!*
>The bubblegum explodes on his eyeglasses, resulting in an outrage by the hipster.
>>>>"ACK! MY EYEGLASSES! I CAN'T TAKE THEM OFF, OR I'LL LOSE MY FABULOUSNESS!"
>Sophie then takes lots of the gumballs and rolls them down the auditorium stairs.
>Snips' shoes gets stuck as a result of stepping at all of them.
>>>>>"WhOA, WHOOAA!"
>Snips falls on the ground as you then went in to shoot him in the head with pink paint.
*PEW*
>>>>>"Aww...man!"
>His bracelet already lists him off as disqualified.
>Sophie then comes to do the same to Scott, but before she can shoot, Trixie then comes to throw a paintbomb right at your location.
>"HUSBANDO, NOOOOO!!" Sophie yells as she pushes you out of harms way.
>She falls to the ground as the grenade is still in midair.
>"GO ON, NORMAN. SAVE YOURSELF, BUT DON'T FORGET MEE!"
"...Sophie, the bomb's stuck on the ceiling."
>Sophie looks up to see the canister stuck in the chandeleer.
>"...Oh...."
>>>"CURSES! TRIXIE'S PLAN IS FOILED BY THE CEILING!"
>Trixie jumps off the stage and takes out a minigun and begins firing away.
"SWEET PENCILS!"
>You take Sophie's hand and rushed back to cover.
>Sliding to Bonbon's area, you quickly checked your bracelet's points.
>80% damage.
"Crap."
>Bonbon's still eating some sweets while Scott's still unconscious.
>>>"MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Trixie laughs as she fires her blue minigun.
>"Dammit!"
"Now what do we do?"
>"Bon! How many gumballs do we have?"
>>"Uhh....three."
"Damn. Now what?"
>Sophie, being all badass, takes her pistol and loads it with the gumballs.
>"Three's more than I need." She says in a badass manner.
>Trixie stops firing for a moment because the smoke's blocking her view.
>>>"Gak, stupid smoke blocking Trixie's path."
"NOW!"
>"HMPH!"
>Sophie aims her gun at the minigun and fires at one of the barrels of the minigun.
>>>"HAH! YOU MISSED TRIXIE'S BEAUTIFUL HEAD."
>Trixie then begins revving up her minigun.
>However, due to the gumball inside one of the barrels, it overloads and causes it to melt towards the other barrels before it could fire as it spinned.
>>>"WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON."
>The gum clogs up the barrels before the minigun can complete a full circle.
>>>"AAARRRGHHH!"
>"She's distracted! Let's get her!"
"YEAAAAHH!"
>You then ran towards the auditorium stage with two pistols at hand and began firing at her, Lara Croft style.
"WOOOOO!!!"
>>>"ACK! TRIXIE'S ...AAAAAAAHHHH!"
>With your pistols smoking up, Trixie has been gunned down and disqualified.
"We did it!"
>"Heck Yeah!"
"I couldn't have done it without you."
>Sophie's eyes widened as you tell her this.
>It's as if she had been visited by an angel to tell her that she's been impregnated by your seed.
>She nearly faints, if not for Scott ruining the moment.
>>>>"Hate to break up this moment..."
"Huh!?"
>Scott's holding Bonbon hostage.
>Bonbon, barely giving a damn about a man oppressing her, continues to munch on some chocolate bar she found in her pocket.
"Hey, wait a minute. Your bracelet says disqualified!"
>>>>"Not if one of you fine people gives up their bracelet to heal me. Besides, I got killed even before getting killed was mainstream." Scott proudly says.
"We can do that?"
>"Weren't you in the assembly?"
"I WAS LATE!"
>>>>"Heh, no matter."
>"Dude, that's against the rules. You're disqualified already." Sophie says.
>>>>"Y-Yeah, so?"
>Sophie looks at him with full confidence
>Scott looks at her with confusion, until...
*BAM*
>>>>"W-What is that?"
*BAM*
>The ground shakes as large footsteps are heard.
*BAM*
>"Heh."
*BAM*
>Suddenly, silence.
>Scott looks around, scared.
*KAAABLAASHOOOM!*
>>>>"AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!"
>>>>>/a/SCOOOOTTTTTTTTTGREEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN
>Axel's enlarged body crashes through the wall.
>His rage enlarges his body every minute.
>>>>"A-A-A-AXEL!"
>>>>/a/NOONEBREAAAAAAAAKKSTHERUUUUUUUUULLLLEEEEEES.
>Axel grabs the troublemaker with his hand and crushes every bone in his body with a single squish.
>He then slowly backs away from the wall, holding Scott Green, bringing him to the darkness of...wherever the hole leads to.
>You simply look at awe as this happens.
"This...this is normal for this school!?!?"
>"You act as if this is the first time a goliath of a hall monitor came crashing through the walls and crushes a hipster with his own hand."
"..."
>Meanwhile, Bonbon's still eating her sack of sweets.
*BONG*. BONG*.
>"5:00."
"Let's get going then."
CANTERLOT GYMNASIUM
>You enter the gym, with your heart set on winning the game.
>If not for yourself, then for Brad, for Sophie, and Bonbon.
>In the gym, the Principal sits on her throne up high, with VP Luna picking her nose out of boredom.
>At the opposite end of the gym, the mane six stands tall.
>Purple, Aryan, Flutters, Applehat, Dash and Ponka.
>All of them ready and willing to fight, minus Purple since she' looks unsure in her decision to fight.
"H-Hi Aryan!" You wave in a friendly manner.
>Aryan takes her thumb and slowly makes a 'throat slit' gesture at you.
"Crap..."
>Principal Celestia then takes a stand, grabbing the mic and then looks at your group.
>>>"Two teams. I was expecting more. Good job, nonetheless."
"H-Happy B-day to you too, Ms. Celestia."
>The principal then sets down the mic.
>>>"ACTIVATE THE GYM!"
"W-Wait, what?"
>Axel Jones pulls down the lever.
>The ground shakes as it opens up to convert into a huge battle arena.
"Whoa, WHOA!"
>Errupting from the grounds, walls, cover and helmets.
>An arena fit for a competition.
>>>"Make me proud, boys and girls." Celestia says with a smirk.
>"You ready Norman?" Sophie asks as she hands you a helmet."
"I am. Is she?"
>Bonbon continues to eat from the sack.
"Well, I guess it's just you and me, Sophie."
>"Y-yeah...togeether... Just the two of us...~"
"Err..."
>>>"READY. STEADY. BEEGIIIIN!"
>The horn blows, and already the mane six are planning their movements.
>Ponka grabs her party cannon and begins firing away.
>>>>>"IT'S GONNA BE A BLAST!"
*BLOOOSH!*
>Ponka fires the cannon, launching large missiles of paint bombs towards you.
>You dodge out of the way while Bonbon still casually walks while munching on some chocolate bars.
>"SHOOT TO KILL!" Sophie says as she avoids Applehat's apple-shaped paintballs.
>>>>>>"YEEEE-HAAWWWW!"
>Meanwhile, Flutters and Aryan Beauty helps Ponka reload faster.
>You take cover by the wall, hoping to find a plan to take them down.
"Alright...too much fire...need to...WHOA!"
>Beside you, Purple, who's holding you at gunpoint.
"H-Hey...Purple."
>>>"Hey Norman...sorry about this."
"P-Purple! You don't have to do this!"
>>>"But I have to. If I don't, I'll be betraying my friends!"
>Good god, THAT'S IT!
"P-Purple! Before you pull the trigger, know that winning this game will have you skip out on learning stuff...FOR A YEAAAR!"
>>>"gasp!"
"Yeah. You'll be banned from the library, and you're forced to be Flutters' pet maid...FOR A YEEAAAAR."
>>>"That's horrible! Without learning, I'll lose an IQ point!" Purple says in worry.
"But fear not. If you turn on your friends, you'll be preventing that IQ point from dropping."
>Purple thinks for a moment.
>>>"B-but muh friendship! If there's one thing that I learned here and in my world, it's that friendship will always prevail, and that friendship will friends and friendship friends friend friendship friends!" says Purple.
"..."
>While she was distracted, you shot her in the head.
>>>"Wha- NHORMAN!"
"What? You were asking for it!"
>Purple storms out annoyed, but secretly happy.
>As you watch her walk out, you're kicked from behind by Applejack.
"YOW!"
>>>"Sorry partner, but you're in my way. I'm getting that reward so I can work on my farm 24/7!"
"Why am I not surprised?"
>At that point, Sophie viciously shoots her at the back for stepping on you.
>"GET AWAY FROM HIM, APPLEFIEND!"
>>>"GYAH! P-PINKIE, COOUSIN!"
>Ponka takes notice and redirects her aim at Sophie.
>>>>"HOW'S ABOUT YOU ALL TRY BOWLING!"
>Ponka fires a ball of paint bombs at Sophie.
>Sophie grabs Applehat and uses her as a human shield.
*BOOOOOOM*
>Applehat's completely covered in paint as Sophie gently puts her down on the ground.
>>"nomnom, nice job, Sophie." Bonbon says.
>"You were SUCH a huge help." Sophie replies.
>Two down, four to go.
>Aryan goes to you with her cleavage revealed.
"Ahh..."
>>>"Norman, daaarrling~"
>She uses her bombastic weapons of mass distraction against you.
>Sophie takes notice and pushes you aside.
>"MY NORMAN!" Sophie says as she lunges towards Aryan.
>>>"AHHH!"
>Sophie and Aryan went on to a catfight, slowly biting each other as their clothes get ruffled.
>Aryan bites Sophie's neck as she accidentally rips off her sleeve.
>Sophie returns the favor by pulling off Aryan's skirt and pinching her thigh.
>>>"AAHH~"
>Sophie then puts her tongue in Aryan's nose in an attempt to make her weak while she's in a state of pre-sneeze.
>Aryan replies by biting Sophie's lower lip as she pulls her hair.
>They do so as their sweat decreases the friction.
>Their arms and legs squeeze everso tightly in a fit of jealous rage.
>Their zippers are pressed onto each other's privates as they try to out-wrestle each other.
>Meanwhile in the distance, you, Ponka, Flutters, Celestia, Luna and Bonbon just eagerly watched on.
>Except for Axel, who's sitting down reading She-Hulk Court Adventures comics.
>[sweating intensifies for everyone else]
>Fortunetely, your sense of hearing wasn't lost in the lewd catfight. You hear Rainbow lighting up Ponka's party cannon.
"Whoa!"
>Rainbow's inability to not be a useless dyke has caused her to misfire, firing at Ponka and Flutters respectively.
>>>>"YEOW!" Rainbow yells as she accidentally fires at friendlies.
>You dodged in the nick of time as Flutters and Ponka are immediately killed and disqualified.
>>>>>"Way to go, Rainbow Dash! I throw you a party with Weird Al Yankovic and this is how you repay me?"
>>>>"S-Sorry Pinkie!"
>You took it as a moment of opportunity as you grabbed the sack of chocolate from Bonbon.
>>"MY PRECIOUS!"
>You then threw it at the party cannon, copying what Sophie did with Trixie's minigun.
>The cannon is then clogged by the amount of chocolate.
>Dash attempts to fire it back, but Bonbon comes running towards the party cannon.
>>"MIIINE!"
>>>>"BONBON! IF YOU HUG THE CANNON, IT WILL EXPLODE!"
>Bonbon's body covers the cannon in an attempt to grab the cannon and the chocolate stuck inside it.
>With the trigger lit, the clogged cannon EXPLODES, 'killing' Bonbon and Rainbow.
>>>"Well, there goes my one-year vacation." Rainbow says in a sad tone.
>Meanwhile, Bonbon's pissed because her chocolate's now covered in paint.
>>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS NORMAN!"
"But you already ate enou-"
>>"CIS SCUM! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GRAB OPPRESSED WOMEN'S STUFF AND USE THEM FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN! YOU WHITE FOLK ARE ALL THE SAME!"
>Bonbon comes in to try and strangle you.
>Meanwhile, a saliva covered half-naked Sophie has her Norman'sintrouble senses tingle.
>Without a moment's hesitation, she took Aryan off her body and threw her right at Bonbon.
>"STAY AWAY FROM NORMAN!"
>>>"AAAAAAAAAIIIEEE!"
>Aryan's body pushes Bonbon off the arena.
>Sophie then grabs two pistols and fires at Aryan without mercy.
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
>After all the magazines are emptied, Celestia claps.
>It's all over.
"It's over...The day's over...we won..."
>"W-We did?" Sophie says in a haze of ecstacy and rage.
>>>>"CONGRATULATIONS, NORMAN AND SOPHIE. YOU WIN" Celestia says.
"Wow."
>"I can't believe it! WE WO-"
>>>>"HOWEVER..."
"Oh boy, here we go."
>>>>"I'VE CHANGED THE RULES. NOW, ONLY ONE PERSON CAN WIN THIS MATCH. YOU TWO MUST DECIDE."
"Uhh.."
>"NORMAN, THIS IS LIKE IN HUNGER GAMES, ONLY WITH YOU AND ME."
"Err..."
>Sophie yells at Princess Celestia.
>"WE REFUSE! WE'D RATHER DIE THAN HAVE ONE OF US KILL THE OTHER!"
"W-Wait, I never agre-"
>Sophie grabs the paintball pistol and gives it to you.
>"Suicide pact."
"S-Sophie!"
>"Oh my gosh, this is so tragically romantic!"
"Ahh..."
>"On my signal, ready?"
"N-No?"
>"Me too. ONE!"
"B-but..."
>"TWO!"
"..."
[spoiler]>Before Sophie could count to three, Derpy bursts through the door with a worried face.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"S-Sorry I'm late, but I'm here for the 5:00 assembly! W-Whoops!"[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Derpy slips on a cannister of a paint grenade and accidentally activates it, rolling the paint bomb to your direction.[/spoiler]
*BAM*
[spoiler]>You and Sophie technically died. You're both disqualified.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>"NOOOO! THAT MOMENT WAS PEERFECT!" Sophie says as she bursts into tears.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"Err, can anyone tell me what's going on?"[/spoiler]
[spoiler]"Derpy...the assembly was at 5:00 AM. It's PM now.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"Whoops. My bad."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Principal Celestia laughs as Derpy accidentally wins the match on her own.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>>>"Hahahahah, now THAT's entertainment. Derpy, you won, however without the bracelet, I'm afraid I'm going to have to call foul."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"That's okay! I didn't even know what the competition was all about."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Principal Celestia then drinks a whole cup of wine as she then goes to the mic to announce to the whole city what happened.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>>>"...And so, no one won the event. However, it's the best birthday show I've ever seen. School will be at regular classes tomorrow. Please don't be late."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>The sound of groaning students is heard.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>You approach Derpy and told her all about the day.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"...WOW! It was that crazy? I wish I hadn't overslept..."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>I wish I did.[/spoiler]
>And so, Celestia's birthday ends with no winners. It was a weird day, but if it was great nonetheless.
>>"So, if you had learned anything from today, what would it be?" she asks you as she walks home with you."
>"When the outside's having a civil war, don't walk away from the bed."
>>"Haha."
>There. I even learned something from today. Man, it's like my life revolves around twisted versions of slice-of-life events.
>Oh well.
"I'm hungry. Wanna grab a bite?"
>>"Sure?"
>You and Derpy went on to grab a corndog as Sophie is forgotten in the gym.
>"Uhh...g-guys? N-Norman?"
>>>>"Gym closes in five *buuurp* minutes, Sophie." a drunk Celestia says as she's carried away by her sister.
>Axel then goes down to help his lawyer comrade up.
>>"Come on, up you go."
>"It was perfect...why did she have to go ruin it."
>>"Don't make me leave you here."
>"*sob*"
End.

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

Normal Norman: Principal Celestia's Civil Birthday
__________________________________________________

Be Norman
Your house, 7:00 AM

>Ahh, just a beautiful morning in Canterlot city.
>The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the best part is, you haven't even gotten out of your house yet.
>You wash your face in the bathroom, then the aroma of bacon and eggs fills your nostrils.
>Down you go to the dining room, a hot plate of breakfast with a note that says: "Enjoy, we'll be out for the whole day. Mom and Dad"
>The whole morning to yourself.
>You gracefully ate your delicious sunny side up and that crispy juicy bacon.
>It's like eating in paradise.
>After eating, you wash up, took a bath, and readied yourself for the Monday morning.
>Surely this is going to be a great day.
>You come outside the house, and breathed deeply.
>The sun's shine blinds your sight for a moment, but that doesn't stop you from smiling.
>Looking at the sky, you proudly yell:
"THIS DAY IS GOING TO BE A GREA-"
>"NORMAN! GET THE FUCK DOWN!"
>What?
*BANG*  *BOOM*  *EXPLOSION.MP3*
"WHAT THE HELL? OOFF!"
>Brad tackles you to the ground.
>Smoke fills the air. You can't see shit.
>Explosions all over the city.
>All the neighborhood houses are covered in paint!
"BRAD! WHAT'S GOING ON?"
>"What? Haven't they told you?"
"WHAT? THAT IT'S WORLD WAR 3? TACKLE YOUR FRIEND DAY?"
>"Dude..."
>Brad stands up, and you get a look at what he's wearing.
>Same outfit, but wearing a bandana. His jacket is ripped and the smell of paint all over his pants.
>He dramatically waves his hands around.
>"NORMAN! TODAY IS THE DAY!"
"WHAT DAY?"
>"TIS THE ANNUAL CELEBRATION OF PRINCIPAL CELESTIA'S BIRTHDAY!"
"WHAT?"
>"AND THE THEME OF THE DAY IS..."
>He leans towards your face. Piercing eyes right at you.
>"PAAAAAAIIIINTT BAAAALLL DAAAAYY--AAAHHH" he says in a Japanese manner.
"W-WHAT?"
>He hands you a pistol paintgun.
>"Ready your ass, partner. TODAY, WE ARE FACING THE APOCALYPSE!"
>Brad jumps out and begins randomly shooting everywhere.
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**RATATATATATTATATATATA*
>"EAAT ORANGE, YOU BASTARDS!"
>Paintballs everywhere.
"Brad! They're returning fire!"
>"What? GUUKKH!"
>Brad is shot from the smoke. Machine paintgun shots all over his body.
>He looks like he fell into a large pool of skittles.
>"AAAHK!"
>Brad dramatically falls to the ground.
>You come to his aid.
>"N-Norman sama! I cannot continue on!"
"Brad, shut up, you're not dying."
>"Don't ruin the moment!"
>You carry his fatass all the way back to your house, but before you could take a step, a huge missle is fired from the distance.
"What the..."

*KAAABLOOOOOOOSHHHHH*

>The missile ...colors your house...partially.
>The house is covered in pink. The roof is damaged!
"Holy shit!"
>"L-Leave me Norman! I'm done for anyway!"
"Shut up and let me think!"
>You walk around with Brad. He's acting like he lost a leg.
>"OH THE TRAGEDY! I'LL NEVER SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN."
>Good god, it's like he took drama classes from Aryan Beauty.
>Speaking of which...
"Hey Brad, since our crazy principal just had us go on an all out war in the city, how's the girls?"
>"The girls? Not good. They're not on our side!"
"WHAT?"
>"Yeah. Once the principal announced the theme for her birthday celebration, the girls had already formed a team, minus Twilight."
"Purple didn't join?"
>"Nah, you and Purple weren't IN the assembly!"
"There was an assembly?"
>"Didn't you read the letter?"
"I...Well Purple and I cut classes yesterday for her 'magical experiment' business."
>"Dude...were you two..."
"I swear, I am not seeing your waifu!"
>"Alright. You're my bro and I forgive you."

[[bromancing intensifies]]

"So what else is happening?"
>"Lots of backstabbing, lots of cult forming, etc."
"Care to give me the details?"
>"Let's see... Octavia made a Nazi team on her own, that German bitch. The rest of the solo wanderers either joined the side groups or hid in their homes."
"I don't get it. What happens if they win?"
>"You can form a group of up to seven. If you survive the day, all remaining groups are at a face off at school by six o clock. The real winner or winners gets the whole school year off with 100% grades."
"WHAT?"
>"Yeah, I know. We have a weird academic program."
"W-wait, how DO you win?"
>"Oh, we have these things."
>Brad shows his bracer at you.
>"Indicates whether or not a paintball has simulated a bullet wound. If you got hit in the heart or head with the paintball, you're out. If the bracer is taken off or completely covered from paintball bombs, you're out."
>He gets something from his bag.
>"Here, I got your bracer from the school.
"T-thanks?"
>"Trust me, hommie. If you lose, at least we bros had fun.
>You put on the bracer. You're registered as late, therefore penalty by having the bracelet at 20% damage.

>"So what's the plan, hombre?"
"Well, for starters, we have to find Purple."
>"You serious? She's probably TERRIBLE at paintballs. She doesn't even play video games!"
"Yeah, but she's a science girl, and we need a girl like her to make...like chemical bombs and shit."
>"Or maybe some meth to distract the stoner team."
"There's a stoner team?|
>"Yeah. Contrary to the popular belief, they don't quit easily, despite heavy bruising."
"Well shit."
>"Say bro, do you think they had already recruited Twilight? I mean she IS living in Fluttershy's home."
"Oh yeah...I forgot about that."
>Well, time to cross out Twilight off the recruition list. Now it's just me, Brad, and two guns that fire paint balls.
>I wonder to where the road will take me...

9:00 AM

>"Brooo...I'm starving."
"Didn't you eat breakfast?"
>"The assembly was 5:00 AM. I couldn't have breakfast."
"Ugh. Fine, let's go to the convenience store."
>You and Brad head on to the convenience store.
>It's been bombed and crashed. I presume looters are in there.
"How the hell did the mayor approve this?"
>"You know how the mayor got her job?"
"How?"
>"She was a student in Canterlot High. She won the position during PCeles' twenty fifth birthday."
>wat.

>You enter the convinience store. The store is silent. You could drop a pin and hear it.
>"I...NEED...TWIIINKIIIEEES!"
"Calm down, the aisle is just near us."
>Brad lets go of your shoulder and runs to the twinkie aisle.
>As he picks up a Twinkie, he notices a rope attached to it.
>"Oh shit."
"What?"
>"ITS A TRA- BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!*

>The twinkie aisle explodes with pink and purple colors. 
>The wrappers and other products fly towards your face.
>Shit, your beanie's been tainted with pink.
>You stood up and looked for Brad amidst the smoke and paint.
>You found him, lying down and twitching.
"Holy shit, that was one hell of a Twinkie trap, Brad."
>"I...I can see the twinkie god! It's circling around my head."
>Before you could pull Brad up, you hear a distant voice.

>>"HOLD IT!"

>You turn around and saw Nolan,Lis...err...Amy, Vinyl and three other students aiming their paintball guns at you.
"Ahh shit."
>You aimed at Nolan with your paint-ball pistol. 
>>"So you do have some balls in you, Norman."
"Dude, just let us walk away! We have nothing of value."
>>"Actually, you do. You see, paintballs are today's version of shekels."
"What, like in the Metro games?"
>>"You could say that, now drop the gun and you can go without a hundred paintball wounds out of here."
"Man, I don't even want to-"
>Brad stood up from the paint and spoke to you.
>"Don't give in, Norman! If I can't win this thing, you must win it for me!"
"Brad, just stay down and rest!"
>"No. Today, I face my end!"
"What?"
>Brad passionately rips off his shirt and he reveals two belts of paint bombs strapped on him.
*SHWWIIIINGGG*
>His abs blind Amy and Vinyl.
>>>>"HE'S TOO HOOT!" Cried out Vinyl and Lise...err...Amy.
>Brad shows off his body for three seconds, and then puts his hands on the paint grenades.
>He looks at you with his eyes.
>Oh god, dem eyes. They shine like the stars.
>"RUN NORMAN! FIND MORE COMPETENT ALLIES!"
"BRAD! DON'T BE STUPID!"
>"Too late...bro."
>He shows you his bracer.
>"I'm already at a 99% loss."
>Nolan yells, saying OPEN FIRE!"
>Brad shields you from their fire. He's wounded and bruised from so much impact paintballs.
>"RUN!"
>You heed his word and ran far away while snatching a bag of sweets from the store.
>Gonna need them carbohydrates.

>Brad, despite the open fire, ran towards Nolan and his army while yelling [spoiler]"I BELIIEEVEEE!!!!"[/spoiler]
>Brad activates his paintbombs and the bombs explode

*BLOOOOOOSHSHSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSHHHH*

>You look at the store from afar.
>The interior of the store is completely painted.
>You held your hand up high, sarcastically saying
"Rip in pieces, Brad."
>You then walk away, scratching your head.


>Meanwhile in the store.
>Nolan looks at his bracer.
>Amy and Vinyl are unconscious.
>>"Crap. Lost at the start of the game."
>"Well, all's well that ends well."
>>"Dude, you're covered in blue."
>"Heh. Wanna grab a burger, dude?"
>>"Totally."
>Brad and Nolan stood up and left the two girls to grab a burger.
>>>"Assholes..."LisAmy said.

10:30 AM

*BANG**BANG*
>You dodged and rolled all the way to the school.
>Because honestly, you didn't know where to go, but you promised Brad you'd see the end of this damn game.
*BANG**BANG*
>You got one in the head.
>"Aww...man!"
>You then kicked his nuts and stole his gun.
>Not like he's going to need it anyway.

12:00 PM

>So...damn...hungry.
>You found a safe spot and looked left and right.
>Paint everywhere, but no sign of any looters.
>Good enough for me.
>You took a chocolate bar and bit the top off.

*crkickle*
>You hear something moving.
>Not a good sign.
>You stood up and aimed your gun.
>Walking backwards, you look left and right.
>Out comes Diamond Tiara with her turret paintball and fires away.
"ACK!"
>You ran like mouse, avoiding all fire.
>Her assistant, Silver Spoon, appears from her hiding spot and holds you at gunpoint.
>"Don't mo-GAK!"
>You slap her with your chocolate bar. She misfires.
>Blinded by diabetes inducing food, you grab her paintball shotgun and ran away.
"Wait, who else hangs out with those middle-schoolers? Oh right, Snips and Snails."
>Right on cue, Snips jumps from the balcony.
>"AAIEIEIEIAH!"
>You just stop and let him fall in front of you.
>"OOOF!"
>You took his gun and held him at gunpoint.
>"PLEASE! NOT THE FACE!"
"Dude, just tell me where your best friend is going to ambush."
>"S-snails joined with Trixie's team! I haven't heard from him since!"
>Crap.
>You then put a paintball on his head.
>"Oh come on!"
"What? Not like you're dead or anything!"
>You ran away before Silver Spoon or Diamond Tiara could show up.

1:00PM

>At the city park. 
>The gunshots have mostly been silenced.
>Probably because lots of casualties in the morning.
>Either that or they're camping.
>Fucking campers.

>...
>You hear scrumpling from behind.
>You 180 degree'd and aimed your gun. No one's there.
>But somehow, you hear voices.
>From below!?
>You lean your head down, 
>>"I don't think we can trust, besides a new member isn't a must!"
>"I...I think Norman could be a good member to our team! Besides, we're only three here."
>"Fine, but if he tries anything stupid, I'll shoot him like he's cupid."
>>>"Careful who you crush on, Sophie."
>"I don't have a crush on him! I-Idiot!"

>Sounds like a bunker underground.
>This city gets stranger every day.
>You got up and tried to find the entrance to it.
>Carefully analysing every footstep.
*CLANK*
>You stepped on something metallic.
>You got the dirt off it and found a metal entrance.
>Lifting it up, you dropped in on the women who were talking about you.
>"AHH~"
"You know, if you guys are trying to hide, you shouldn't talk so loud.
>You see three girls: Zecora, Sophia and Bonbon.
>>>"Hey look, Sophie's future husband found us."
>They all point their guns at you.
>Sophia tries to calm them down.
>"W-Wait! He hasn't fired at us, so we don't have to treat him as a threat." Sophie says
"Look, I'm not here to fight! Just trying to survive!"
>>>"We can't trust you. You're probably here to OPPRESS US! What do you have to offer?"
"I...err... got sweets."
>You show them your bag of chocolates. Bonbon just came.
>>>"Oh...My....Okay fine, you can stay, cis scum."
>"See? He's a nice guy!"
>>>"Alright fine!"
>>"It would seem we have a comrade. I would have thought we'd find Brad."
"Brad...err... died at the convenience store as a suicide bomber...if you know what I mean."
>Sophie tries to make a conversation. She strokes her hair on the right side.
"Hey, thanks for backing me up. Hard to find some comrades in this crazy game."
>Sophie is paralyzed. How she sees you is how she sees someone at a swimming magazine that panders to women.
>"I...I...ahh~"
>>"Forgive my friend right here. Not every day she talks to boys so near." Zecora tells you.
"Say, don't you guys hang out with Axel Jones? Where's that crazy sonnovabitch?"
>"The principal excluded him from the game in exchange of buying him a rare mint condition Judge Dredd comic book. He's now one of the over watchers of the game."
"huh?"
>"That's right. If a student attacks a 'dead' student or the other way around, he kidnaps the offenders and uses them as cannon fodder for the school's defence system. Literally." Sophie says.
"Literally!?"
>>>"Yeah, he literally shoves them in the school's cannons and uses them as ammunition."
"..."

>"Everyone here's fighting for a chance to skip the whole school year."
"I can see that. Tell me something I don't know."
>"Bonbon's one of our top tech students. She hacked the nearby restaurant's wifi to get info on all the registered teams."
"Hacking? Don't you mean guessing?"
>Bonbon suddenly breathes down your neck from behind.
>>>"Don't test me, boy."
"GYAH!!"
>"Yeah, she does that."
>Bonbon goes back to her seat and checks the school's records.

TOP TEAM SURVIVORS (Order of lost casualties)
>M@ne6 - Canterlot High Gym, 6 members, no casualties
>The Gr8 Trixie and pals -Canterlot High Auditorium, 4 members, no casualties
>TalentCrusaders - Canterlot High Grounds, 3 members, no casualties
>Team Tiara - Crossroad Alleyway, 3 members, 1 casualty
>B 1isters-City Sewers, 4 members, 1 casualty


>Looks like Brad's hunch was right. Purple's with the six now.
"What happened to your team's casualty?"
>"Lyra forgot to give a fuck. She's probably at home now reading horse magazines or something."
"Err..."
>You read the top team survivors on the screen.
"Looks like they're holed up at Canterlot High."
>"We have three hours left to get there, otherwise, we forfeit."
>>"Let's just give up. We'd end up in a mud of muck.

"Maybe you can but I can't I promised my..err.. dying friend that I must win this, for him."
>Bonbon stands up an speaks.
>>>"And besides, ONE YEAR VACATION! THINK OF ALL THE CHOCOLATES I COULD EAT WITH THAT MUCH FREE TIME! THINK OF ALL THE OPPRESSED CIS SCUMS I CAN BERATE ON THE INTERNET!"
"err, yeah. Sure. Le-"
*BONK*
>Something's moving upstairs.
*BONK*
>Looks like they found the entrance.

*BLOOOSHHH*
"WHOA!"
>Down goes Diamond Tiara and her band of remaining comrades.
>>>"AHH! SAVE THE CHOCOLATES!"
>Bonbon grabs the chocolates.
>>>>"PAINT EM, GIRLS!" Diamond yells
>Zecora then stands infront, saying "RUN! I'M ALREADY DONE!"
>>"Norman! To the secret exit!"
>>>"Norman! Pull the lever!"
>You pull the lever, and it reveals an altar of you on the left side.
"ahh..."
>There's even a voodoo doll.
>"AAIIEE, THE OTHER LEVER!"
>Sophia pulls the other lever and the exit opens.
>>>"We'll see you in  hell, Zecora!"
>And by hell, she means tommorow class, if she loses as well.

*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*

>Zecora manages to hit everyone, at the cost of her getting disqualified herself.
>Diamond Tiara jumps in her place in complete anger.
>>>>"NOTFAIRNOTFAIRNOTFAIR!!!"

>You and the rest of the remaining B-listers got out.
>As you help Sophie out of the hole, you look around the city.
>The smell of paint fills the air.
>Smoke everywhere.
>It's a goddamn Civil War.

"Bon, how much time do we have left?"
>She looks at her bracer.

>>>"Two Hours Left."

3:00 PM

>You, Bonbon and Sophie wandered towards Canterlot Grounds.
>Janitor Sombra's pissed that he's forced to clean up everything.
>Once more, the place is quiet...too quiet...
>>"N0m, nom nom."
"Shh...I think we're being watched. Also, close your mouth when you're chewing."
>>"You close your mouth, white man!"
"sigh..."
>As you walked to the valley of the shadow of death, you and the two girls slowly walked towards the door...
>Carefully, slowly, ste-
*CRICK*
"Goddammit, who stepped on the twig?"
>"M-My bad." Sophie says.
>Suddenly, a cute squeaky voice from the bushes is heard.
>A voice that can only belong to...
"Oh god, is that mini-Aryan?"
>>>"TALENT CRUSADERS, GET THOSE WANDERERS!"
>>>>"Then we can finally earn our 'Shoot first ask questions never' badge!" Applebloom added.
"SHIT! DUCK!"
>You and the two girls dodged the incoming fire from the cute elementary girls.
*RATATATATATATATTATATaTTA!*
>"THEY HAVE MACHINE GUNS?"
>>"I think they made those out of Nerf guns."
"Well crap-a-doodle-doo." You say as you got your paintball pistol out.
>When the firing stopped, you returned fire and tried to shoot at the little girls.
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG!*
>No luck. All missed shots.
>>>>"FIRE AGAIN, SCOOTALOO!"
*RATATATATATTATA*
>"Maybe we should wait for them to run out of ammo?"
"And wait for one of them to circle around to shoot us with a pistol paint? Too risky."
>>>"YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER!" Scootaloo taunts.
>Sophie thinks to herself for a moment.
>She then looks at Bonbon, still helping herself to some sweets.
>"Give me that bag."
>>"NO! MY CHOCOLAAAATTEES!"
>Sophie grabs a bucket of ice cream, opens it and throws it directly at the Scootaloo while she's reloading.
*plop*
>>>"ACK! MY EEEYYEES! IT'S FULL OF CHOCOLATE!"
>>"Chocolate!?" Bonbon says fanatically.
>Seeing Scootaloo's head drenched in ice cream, she runs on her hands and legs, scaring the Talent Crusaders.
>>>"AAAHH! IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!"
>They try to shoot at Bonbon, but her lust for brown sweets made her evasive.
>"COme on, Norman! FIRE AT THEM!"
"Right!"
>In slow motion, you and Sophie rose from the bushes and fired like a Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
>Paintballs slowly reaches the Talent Crusader's heads as Bonbon licks the chocolate off of Scootaloo's head.
*PEW* *PEW* *PEW*
>They all stumble in their places, their bracelets beeping as they are disqualified from the match.
>>>"AAHH! GET HER OFF ME!" Scootaloo yelled as Bonbon ceases to function as a human being.
>"Bonbon! Get off of her!" Sophie says as she sprays her with water."
>>"*PTWEEEY* ACH! HEY! ENOUGH, WOMAN!"
"Alright, hand over your guns."
>>>>"Oh man, now we'll never get our 'Skip school all year long' badge."
>>>>>"Come on, Applebloom. Fair's fair." Mini-aryan says as she hands over her machinegun.
"Thanks. Say, where's your sister?"
>>>>>"Currently waiting for 5:00 PM to strike so she and her team can skip school all year long."
"Thanks for the info."
>Sophie puts a collar and a leash on Bonbon as she holds her bag of sweets in her other hand.
>You and Sophie head on inside the school.
>The place is a mess.
>Paint balls everywhere.
>Hundreds of students take a rest in the cafeteria, where Granny Smith's serving 'Loser Leftovers'.
>Safe to assume that they're all disqualified.
>Your group then goes inside the auditorium. It's the nearest to the gym after all.
"Hmm..."
>"No lights. You think it could be a trap?"
"No...it's for the theatricality of it."
>The auditorium lights up. Smoke comes from the stage as two students (Snips and Scott) stands on the side.
>In the middle, rising up from the ground, a woman with the ego larger than Brad's STD count stands with great pride.
>>>"MUAHAHAHAHAH. BOW DOWN AND OFFER YOUR WEAPONS TO THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"
>>"Booo! Your show sucks!" Bonbon yelled.
"Shh!!!"
>>>"HOW DARE YOU MOCK THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE. GRUNTS, ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKK!"
>Scott takes his fedora off and pulls out a paintball shotgun. Snips readies his SMG and fires away.
*BLAASSH!*
*RATATATATATATATATTA*
>"Ack! They're too far away!"
>>"I can't even get close without them firing straight right at us."
>"Hmm..."
>Sophie thinks to herself once more.
>"I GOT IT!"
>Sophie gets her hand in the chocolate sack and pulls out a a gumball.
>"HERE, CHEW THIS!"
"O-Okay!"
>You went on and chewed as quickly as you can.
>"NOW BLOW!"
"A-PHHHBBBTTT!"
>You blew the pink gum into a spherical shape from your mouth.
>Sophie grabs a small piece of string and carefully detatches the balloon gum from your mouth.
>Tying it up so the air won't come off, Sophie throws it at Scott.
*POP!*
>The bubblegum explodes on his eyeglasses, resulting in an outrage by the hipster.
>>>>"ACK! MY EYEGLASSES! I CAN'T TAKE THEM OFF, OR I'LL LOSE MY FABULOUSNESS!"
>Sophie then takes lots of the gumballs and rolls them down the auditorium stairs.
>Snips' shoes gets stuck as a result of stepping at all of them.
>>>>>"WhOA, WHOOAA!"
>Snips falls on the ground as you then went in to shoot him in the head with pink paint.
*PEW*
>>>>>"Aww...man!"
>His bracelet already lists him off as disqualified.
>Sophie then comes to do the same to Scott, but before she can shoot, Trixie then comes to throw a paintbomb right at your location.
>"HUSBANDO, NOOOOO!!" Sophie yells as she pushes you out of harms way.
>She falls to the ground as the grenade is still in midair.
>"GO ON, NORMAN. SAVE YOURSELF, BUT DON'T FORGET MEE!"
"...Sophie, the bomb's stuck on the ceiling."
>Sophie looks up to see the canister stuck in the chandeleer.
>"...Oh...."
>>>"CURSES! TRIXIE'S PLAN IS FOILED BY THE CEILING!"
>Trixie jumps off the stage and takes out a minigun and begins firing away.
"SWEET PENCILS!"
>You take Sophie's hand and rushed back to cover.
>Sliding to Bonbon's area, you quickly checked your bracelet's points.
>80% damage.
"Crap."
>Bonbon's still eating some sweets while Scott's still unconscious.
>>>"MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Trixie laughs as she fires her blue minigun.
>"Dammit!"
"Now what do we do?"
>"Bon! How many gumballs do we have?"
>>"Uhh....three."
"Damn. Now what?"
>Sophie, being all badass, takes her pistol and loads it with the gumballs.
>"Three's more than I need." She says in a badass manner.
>Trixie stops firing for a moment because the smoke's blocking her view.
>>>"Gak, stupid smoke blocking Trixie's path."
"NOW!"
>"HMPH!"
>Sophie aims her gun at the minigun and fires at one of the barrels of the minigun.
>>>"HAH! YOU MISSED TRIXIE'S BEAUTIFUL HEAD."
>Trixie then begins revving up her minigun.
>However, due to the gumball inside one of the barrels, it overloads and causes it to melt towards the other barrels before it could fire as it spinned.
>>>"WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON."
>The gum clogs up the barrels before the minigun can complete a full circle.
>>>"AAARRRGHHH!"
>"She's distracted! Let's get her!"
"YEAAAAHH!"
>You then ran towards the auditorium stage with two pistols at hand and began firing at her, Lara Croft style.
"WOOOOO!!!"
>>>"ACK! TRIXIE'S ...AAAAAAAHHHH!"
>With your pistols smoking up, Trixie has been gunned down and disqualified. 
"We did it!"
>"Heck Yeah!"
"I couldn't have done it without you."
>Sophie's eyes widened as you tell her this.
>It's as if she had been visited by an angel to tell her that she's been impregnated by your seed.
>She nearly faints, if not for Scott ruining the moment.
>>>>"Hate to break up this moment..."
"Huh!?"
>Scott's holding Bonbon hostage.
>Bonbon, barely giving a damn about a man oppressing her, continues to munch on some chocolate bar she found in her pocket.
"Hey, wait a minute. Your bracelet says disqualified!"
>>>>"Not if one of you fine people gives up their bracelet to heal me. Besides, I got killed even before getting killed was mainstream." Scott proudly says.
"We can do that?"
>"Weren't you in the assembly?"
"I WAS LATE!"
>>>>"Heh, no matter."
>"Dude, that's against the rules. You're disqualified already." Sophie says.
>>>>"Y-Yeah, so?"
>Sophie looks at him with full confidence
>Scott looks at her with confusion, until...
*BAM*
>>>>"W-What is that?"
*BAM*
>The ground shakes as large footsteps are heard.
*BAM*
>"Heh."
*BAM*
>Suddenly, silence.
>Scott looks around, scared.
*KAAABLAASHOOOM!*
>>>>"AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!"
>>>>>/a/SCOOOOTTTTTTTTTGREEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN
>Axel's enlarged body crashes through the wall.
>His rage enlarges his body every minute.
>>>>"A-A-A-AXEL!"
>>>>/a/NOONEBREAAAAAAAAKKSTHERUUUUUUUUULLLLEEEEEES.
>Axel grabs the troublemaker with his hand and crushes every bone in his body with a single squish.
>He then slowly backs away from the wall, holding Scott Green, bringing him to the darkness of...wherever the hole leads to.

>You simply look at awe as this happens.
"This...this is normal for this school!?!?"
>"You act as if this is the first time a goliath of a hall monitor came crashing through the walls and crushes a hipster with his own hand."
"..."
>Meanwhile, Bonbon's still eating her sack of sweets.

*BONG*. BONG*.

>"5:00."
"Let's get going then."

CANTERLOT GYMNASIUM

>You enter the gym, with your heart set on winning the game.
>If not for yourself, then for Brad, for Sophie, and Bonbon.
>In the gym, the Principal sits on her throne up high, with VP Luna picking her nose out of boredom.
>At the opposite end of the gym, the mane six stands tall.
>Purple, Aryan, Flutters, Applehat, Dash and Ponka.
>All of them ready and willing to fight, minus Purple since she' looks unsure in her decision to fight.
"H-Hi Aryan!" You wave in a friendly manner.
>Aryan takes her thumb and slowly makes a 'throat slit' gesture at you.
"Crap..."
>Principal Celestia then takes a stand, grabbing the mic and then looks at your group.
>>>"Two teams. I was expecting more. Good job, nonetheless."
"H-Happy B-day to you too, Ms. Celestia."
>The principal then sets down the mic.
>>>"ACTIVATE THE GYM!"
"W-Wait, what?"
>Axel Jones pulls down the lever.
>The ground shakes as it opens up to convert into a huge battle arena.
"Whoa, WHOA!"
>Errupting from the grounds, walls, cover and helmets.
>An arena fit for a competition.
>>>"Make me proud, boys and girls." Celestia says with a smirk.
>"You ready Norman?" Sophie asks as she hands you a helmet."
"I am. Is she?"
>Bonbon continues to eat from the sack.
"Well, I guess it's just you and me, Sophie."
>"Y-yeah...togeether... Just the two of us...~"
"Err..."
>>>"READY. STEADY. BEEGIIIIN!"
>The horn blows, and already the mane six are planning their movements.
>Ponka grabs her party cannon and begins firing away.
>>>>>"IT'S GONNA BE A BLAST!"
*BLOOOSH!*
>Ponka fires the cannon, launching large missiles of paint bombs towards you.
>You dodge out of the way while Bonbon still casually walks while munching on some chocolate bars.
>"SHOOT TO KILL!" Sophie says as she avoids Applehat's apple-shaped paintballs.
>>>>>>"YEEEE-HAAWWWW!"
>Meanwhile, Flutters and Aryan Beauty helps Ponka reload faster.
>You take cover by the wall, hoping to find a plan to take them down.
"Alright...too much fire...need to...WHOA!"
>Beside you, Purple, who's holding you at gunpoint.
"H-Hey...Purple."
>>>"Hey Norman...sorry about this."
"P-Purple! You don't have to do this!"
>>>"But I have to. If I don't, I'll be betraying my friends!"
>Good god, THAT'S IT! 
"P-Purple! Before you pull the trigger, know that winning this game will have you skip out on learning stuff...FOR A YEAAAR!"
>>>"gasp!"
"Yeah. You'll be banned from the library, and you're forced to be Flutters' pet maid...FOR A YEEAAAAR."
>>>"That's horrible! Without learning, I'll lose an IQ point!" Purple says in worry.
"But fear not. If you turn on your friends, you'll be preventing that IQ point from dropping."
>Purple thinks for a moment.
>>>"B-but muh friendship! If there's one thing that I learned here and in my world, it's that friendship will always prevail, and that friendship will friends and friendship friends friend friendship friends!" says Purple.
"..."
>While she was distracted, you shot her in the head.
>>>"Wha- NHORMAN!"
"What? You were asking for it!"
>Purple storms out annoyed, but secretly happy.
>As you watch her walk out, you're kicked from behind by Applejack.
"YOW!"
>>>"Sorry partner, but you're in my way. I'm getting that reward so I can work on my farm 24/7!"
"Why am I not surprised?"
>At that point, Sophie viciously shoots her at the back for stepping on you.
>"GET AWAY FROM HIM, APPLEFIEND!"
>>>"GYAH! P-PINKIE, COOUSIN!"
>Ponka takes notice and redirects her aim at Sophie.
>>>>"HOW'S ABOUT YOU ALL TRY BOWLING!"
>Ponka fires a ball of paint bombs at Sophie.
>Sophie grabs Applehat and uses her as a human shield.

*BOOOOOOM*

>Applehat's completely covered in paint as Sophie gently puts her down on the ground.
>>"nomnom, nice job, Sophie." Bonbon says.
>"You were SUCH a huge help." Sophie replies.
>Two down, four to go.
>Aryan goes to you with her cleavage revealed.
"Ahh..."
>>>"Norman, daaarrling~"
>She uses her bombastic weapons of mass distraction against you.
>Sophie takes notice and pushes you aside.
>"MY NORMAN!" Sophie says as she lunges towards Aryan.
>>>"AHHH!"
>Sophie and Aryan went on to a catfight, slowly biting each other as their clothes get ruffled.
>Aryan bites Sophie's neck as she accidentally rips off her sleeve.
>Sophie returns the favor by pulling off Aryan's skirt and pinching her thigh.
>>>"AAHH~"
>Sophie then puts her tongue in Aryan's nose in an attempt to make her weak while she's in a state of pre-sneeze.
>Aryan replies by biting Sophie's lower lip as she pulls her hair.
>They do so as their sweat decreases the friction.
>Their arms and legs squeeze everso tightly in a fit of jealous rage.
>Their zippers are pressed onto each other's privates as they try to out-wrestle each other.

>Meanwhile in the distance, you, Ponka, Flutters, Celestia, Luna and Bonbon just eagerly watched on. 
>Except for Axel, who's sitting down reading She-Hulk Court Adventures comics.
>[sweating intensifies for everyone else]
>Fortunetely, your sense of hearing wasn't lost in the lewd catfight. You hear Rainbow lighting up Ponka's party cannon.
"Whoa!"
>Rainbow's inability to not be a useless dyke has caused her to misfire, firing at Ponka and Flutters respectively.
>>>>"YEOW!" Rainbow yells as she accidentally fires at friendlies.
>You dodged in the nick of time as Flutters and Ponka are immediately killed and disqualified.
>>>>>"Way to go, Rainbow Dash! I throw you a party with Weird Al Yankovic and this is how you repay me?"
>>>>"S-Sorry Pinkie!"

>You took it as a moment of opportunity as you grabbed the sack of chocolate from Bonbon.
>>"MY PRECIOUS!"
>You then threw it at the party cannon, copying what Sophie did with Trixie's minigun.
>The cannon is then clogged by the amount of chocolate.
>Dash attempts to fire it back, but Bonbon comes running towards the party cannon.
>>"MIIINE!"
>>>>"BONBON! IF YOU HUG THE CANNON, IT WILL EXPLODE!"
>Bonbon's body covers the cannon in an attempt to grab the cannon and the chocolate stuck inside it.
>With the trigger lit, the clogged cannon EXPLODES, 'killing' Bonbon and Rainbow.
>>>"Well, there goes my one-year vacation." Rainbow says in a sad tone.
>Meanwhile, Bonbon's pissed because her chocolate's now covered in paint.
>>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS NORMAN!"
"But you already ate enou-"
>>"CIS SCUM! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GRAB OPPRESSED WOMEN'S STUFF AND USE THEM FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN! YOU WHITE FOLK ARE ALL THE SAME!"
>Bonbon comes in to try and strangle you.
>Meanwhile, a saliva covered half-naked Sophie has her Norman'sintrouble senses tingle.
>Without a moment's hesitation, she took Aryan off her body and threw her right at Bonbon.
>"STAY AWAY FROM NORMAN!"
>>>"AAAAAAAAAIIIEEE!"
>Aryan's body pushes Bonbon off the arena.
>Sophie then grabs two pistols and fires at Aryan without mercy.
*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*
>After all the magazines are emptied, Celestia claps.
>It's all over.
"It's over...The day's over...we won..."
>"W-We did?" Sophie says in a haze of ecstacy and rage.
>>>>"CONGRATULATIONS, NORMAN AND SOPHIE. YOU WIN" Celestia says.
"Wow."
>"I can't believe it! WE WO-"
>>>>"HOWEVER..."
"Oh boy, here we go."
>>>>"I'VE CHANGED THE RULES. NOW, ONLY ONE PERSON CAN WIN THIS MATCH. YOU TWO MUST DECIDE."
"Uhh.."
>"NORMAN, THIS IS LIKE IN HUNGER GAMES, ONLY WITH YOU AND ME."
"Err..."
>Sophie yells at Princess Celestia.
>"WE REFUSE! WE'D RATHER DIE THAN HAVE ONE OF US KILL THE OTHER!"
"W-Wait, I never agre-"
>Sophie grabs the paintball pistol and gives it to you.
>"Suicide pact."
"S-Sophie!"
>"Oh my gosh, this is so tragically romantic!"
"Ahh..."
>"On my signal, ready?"
"N-No?"
>"Me too. ONE!"
"B-but..."
>"TWO!"
"..."
[spoiler]>Before Sophie could count to three, Derpy bursts through the door with a worried face.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"S-Sorry I'm late, but I'm here for the 5:00 assembly! W-Whoops!"[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Derpy slips on a cannister of a paint grenade and accidentally activates it, rolling the paint bomb to your direction.[/spoiler]
*BAM*
[spoiler]>You and Sophie technically died. You're both disqualified.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>"NOOOO! THAT MOMENT WAS PEERFECT!" Sophie says as she bursts into tears.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"Err, can anyone tell me what's going on?"[/spoiler]
[spoiler]"Derpy...the assembly was at 5:00 AM. It's PM now.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"Whoops. My bad."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Principal Celestia laughs as Derpy accidentally wins the match on her own.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>>>"Hahahahah, now THAT's entertainment. Derpy, you won, however without the bracelet, I'm afraid I'm going to have to call foul."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"That's okay! I didn't even know what the competition was all about."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Principal Celestia then drinks a whole cup of wine as she then goes to the mic to announce to the whole city what happened.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>>>"...And so, no one won the event. However, it's the best birthday show I've ever seen. School will be at regular classes tomorrow. Please don't be late."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>The sound of groaning students is heard.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>You approach Derpy and told her all about the day.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"...WOW! It was that crazy? I wish I hadn't overslept..."[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>I wish I did.[/spoiler]
>And so, Celestia's birthday ends with no winners. It was a weird day, but if it was great nonetheless.
>>"So, if you had learned anything from today, what would it be?" she asks you as she walks home with you."
>"When the outside's having a civil war, don't walk away from the bed."
>>"Haha."
>There. I even learned something from today. Man, it's like my life revolves around twisted versions of slice-of-life events.
>Oh well. 
"I'm hungry. Wanna grab a bite?"
>>"Sure?"
>You and Derpy went on to grab a corndog as Sophie is forgotten in the gym.
>"Uhh...g-guys? N-Norman?"
>>>>"Gym closes in five *buuurp* minutes, Sophie." a drunk Celestia says as she's carried away by her sister.
>Axel then goes down to help his lawyer comrade up.
>>"Come on, up you go."
>"It was perfect...why did she have to go ruin it."
>>"Don't make me leave you here."
>"*sob*"

End.

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