Cheesy Bacon Pasta

Cheesy Bacon Pasta

___________________

 

Be Sunset Shimmers

 

>Sneaking around the school.

>Rumors have it that there is a certain book hidden across the school.

>A book of raw outworldly power.

>The power of NECROMANCY!

>Soon, I shall have that book and RULE THE CITY WITH A FIEND'S GRIP!

"MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!"

 

>Your laughter is heard across the school.

>Everyone stares at you.

"THE HECK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?"

>They all disperse at the sound of your voice.

 

>I really need to stop expressing my emotions loudly.

>Right, so according to the rumors, the book was said to be found under this very school.

 

>You sneak in the janitor's closet to go through the basement door.

>However, you are stopped by janitor Sombra, who is currently guarding the small door.

>"You're not supposed to be in here."

"BEGONE, KNAVE!" You say as you try to kick his stomach.

>Sombra, being the badass spaniard that he is, blocks it with his wooden broom.

>"Try harder kid."

>He saw right through you. Looking around, you found a small pail.

>You grabbed it and slammed it over his head.

>"AH! EL CUBO!"

>Blinded by the pail over his head, you resort to grabbing his broom and using it to push him to the basement stairs.

>"AHH MIERDA"

*donk**donk**donk**donk**donk**donk*

>"OOFF!"

>The janitor is defeated, but you have to hurry.

>Where could that book be?

>You searched around the premises, looking left and right.

"Now where could it be."

>Alas, 10 seconds has passed and your overflowing patience has passed.

>You lean by the wall, trying to remember the whole story of the rumor, when all of a sudden the wall behind you moves.

>Looking below, it would have appeared that you have stepped on a panel.

>gotmeapaperclip.png

"I totally meant to do that."

>Beyond the moving wall is a dusty altar.

>An altar built to house a book.

"So it is true."

>You take the book from its stand and blew away the excess dust.

>You can't read the inscriptions very well, but the design on them indicates it holds great power.

>The janitor manages to wake up.

>Pulling off the bucket on his head, he yells;

>"DROP THE BOOK IDIOTA! QUE NO SE ENTIENDE POR MANOS HUMANAS!"

"FOOL! I AM NOT A HUMAN! I'M A UNICORN! A PRIVILIEGED BEAUTIFUL TEN OUTTA TEN UNICORN."

>Sombra jumps in to try and take the book away from you.

>You retorted with your last-effort secret weapon.

"HAVE SOME [spoiler] POCKET SAND![/spoiler]"

>"MIS OJOS!"

>Blinded by the foul sand from your unclean pockets,  you managed to slip away from the menacing janitor.

"MUAHAHAHAHHA!" You laughed across the hall loudly.

 

CANTERLOT GROUNDS

 

>Cutting your 10:00 class, you sat down under the tree to begin reading the mystical book.

>Upon opening the mysterious book, you see the incantations needed to be said out loud.

 

>Well, this should be easy enough.

 

"HAZABE SUBRENAMUS SO"

>With these words, the book lights up and begins to entangle you with lights and smoke.

"YEES! YEEESS!"

>Rising from the ground, the book's magic begins to levitate you.

>With an explosion of dust and smoke, the book transforms you into something horrifying!

"THE POOOWWAAAAAHHH!"

 

*boop*

 

"W-What!?"

>You fall to the ground along with the book.

>Nothing's change.

>"HAHAHAHA!"

>A distant laughter startles you.

>Spaghetti splurts out of your pockets.

>Literally.

"AHH! WHAT...WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!"

>"You are a poor fool to think that I did not forsee your plan from the minute you've made up your mind."

"EEHH?"

>"For you see, I have replaced the book of necromancy with something more foul."

"W-WITH WHAT?"

>The janitor lets loose a devilish grin. He grabs the book from the ground and yells with exposition.

 

>"PASTAMANCY!"

 

"OOOHH MYY GOOOOODD!!!"  You say, squeezing your cheeks.

>The book was actually the Pastanomicon, a book of the italian warlock coalition!

>The news just makes you conjure up more pasta from your pockets.

>"AND NOW, YOU'RE STUCK IN A PASTAMANCIC CURSE!"

"H-HOW DO YOU GET THIS CURSE OFF ME?"

>The janitor plays with his goatee, before yelling out.

 

>"IN YOUR FACE, FOOL!"

 

>Spaghetti flies out of your nostrils and earholes.

>The janitor simply takes the book back while laughing.

>"HUEHUEHUEHEUHEUEHUEHUEHEUH."

 

>This can't be happening!

>You ran away in shame as strings of pasta fall from your pockets.

 

Be Pete Pasta

Cooking Class

 

>Ahh, my favorite class. No learning, no boring lectures.

>Just me, my grill and my kitchen partner cooking whatev-

>"Hey Pete, can you pass me the spatula?"

>Oh god, she just asked me to make contact with her.

>Just relax and hand Bonbon the spatula.

>Slowly...just relax...

>Sweating like bullets. Hand is already shaking.

"H-Here..."

>She finally takes hold of the spatula.

>However her nail slightly brushes off your flesh.

>This amount of social interaction makes your knees faint.

*BoP*

>You fall to the ground, kneeling.

>"Whoa, you alright there?"

>You just smile awkwardly as you try to regain your lower body's strength.

>However, Bonbon thought of it differently.

>"Wait a minute, are you kneeling to show that it was your privilege to hand me a spatula?" She said.

"N-No! I...I j-just"

>"SEXIST PIG! YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME, YOU THINK YOU CAN OPPRESS ME?"

"W-What?"

>"HELLP! I'M BEING OPPRESSED!"

>>"Oh be quiet Ms. Drops. You're overreacting" The professor says.

>"SEXIST PIG!" She says as she runs away with most of your ingredients.

"Ah no..."

>She's already out of the room.

>Without the ingredients, you're lost!

>What's worse is that you can't ask for more ingredients.

>What to do...what to do...

"Improvise!"

>You took out some of the leftover cheese and some tomato sauce.

>Spice it up with some herbs and pepper.

>Now, you need some spaghetti.

>Where to get one?

>Looking around your work table, you found nothing that could be of help.

>Darn. Well, it was worth a sho-

 

"Whoa."

>Outside the room, a string of cooked spaghetti is just at the ground.

>Excusing yourself to go outside, you notice that the line of spaghetti goes all the way to the girl's restroom.

>Oh bugger.

>You went to the door and politely knocked.

"H-Hello?"

>You listened closely as the woman cries in embarrassment.

"A-Are you alright?"

>Not seeing who you're talking to helps with your self confidence.

>"Sniff* W-what?"

"Everything alright in there?"

>"I...I'm fine!"

"Uhhm...err...I w-was just wondering if y-you could lend me some of your spaghetti."

>"*sniff* What?!?"

"I...I mean you...you just left some lying around and I just t-thought you had a clean batch with you...is all..."

>The mystery woman stomps her feet, opens the door and shoves a large amount of pasta over your face.

>"JUST LEAVE ME BE!" She says, whimpering.

>The amount of pasta on your face was more than enough for your midterm exam.

>Now if I could only just see where I'm-

 

*WHOOOP!*

 

>ACH! SLIPPED ON SPAGHETTI!

>With your foot hitting the fire alarm, the whole school goes bonkers.

>Slipping on the woman's spaghetti, you accidentally knocked yourself out as your shoe slips off your feet and lands on your head.

*DONK*

"Uhhhgh..."

>You fade into unconsciousness as the students stampede to the exit.

 

Nurse Redheart's Clinic

 

>Ugh...my head.

"W-Where?"

>"Oh Pete! You're awake! Shimmers found you trampled and brought you here."

"W-What? S-Shimmers?"

>"Yeah! Shimmers found you covered in a pile of spaghetti and she just brought you here and-"

>The amount of social interaction is paralyzing you with fear.

>"Oooh, right. You have a social anxiety disorder. I'll just...stop...talking..."she says awkwardly.

>You feel the bandages over your forehead.

>The dizziness of sleeping on an afternoon.

>You went out of the clinic and went back to the home-ec class.

>The professor is there, tasting all the midterm works of your classmates.

"Sir?"

>"Ahh, Pasta. How's the head?"

>You give him the 'ok' sign on your hands.

>"Well listen, I'll make this brief since you have that...issue. You're one of my best students, and I'm willing to give you a make-up exam tomorrow."

"W-what about Bonbon?"

>"Well Bonbon apparently went through PTSD after she mistook your weakness for interacting with women wrongly."

"So I'm the only one who takes an exam tomorrow?...w-what about Mary Sweetleaf? Wasn't she late?"

>"Ahh, one of your friends. She was late but she managed to take the cooking exam in less than 15 minutes."

>The professor points you to her work.

"Whoa! She did that?"

>"Her and her partner, Derpy Hooves did. They said they were making a salad-cake. They ended up making a sentry gun that shoots brownies."

"..."

>"Well, there is one girl who was absent today, and she needs to pass this subject. She's been ditching this ever since."

"W-who is it?"

>"Well, its Shimmers."

>Shimmers?

"S-she wasn't absent t-today. I f-found her crying in the girl's restroom."

>"You went in a girl's restroom?"

"N-NO! I meant that I heard her...well, I think it was her crying in the restroom."

>"What makes you so sure?"

"W-well, I went out to go get something outside but when I slipped and activated the fire alarm, the nurse said Shimmers was the one who brought me to her."

>"Well there you go! Since you and Shimmers are somewhat aquainted already, I think you guys would do just fine tommorow in the make-up exam.

"But she...she's a bully!"

>"Do bullies help other people when they're down?"

"..."

>"Exactly, so do her a favor and tell her to go to class tomorrow to take the test. Otherwise, I'm flunking her."

"I...I guess."

>"Good, now off you go."

"Alright. Goodbye Mr. Joe."

 

>Well, I'm taking an exam with Sunset 'Baconhair' Shimmers.

>I can't even talk to her, let alone work with make her angry.

>How am I-OOFF!

"S-sorry, I...S-SUNSET!"

>Before you is Sunset shimmers, sweeping her spaghetti off the floor."

>"Oh, it's you." she says in a boring tone.

"L-listen, thanks fo-"

>"It wasn't any trouble. I actually had to bargain with the janitor to help me get rid of my spaghetti curse by cleaning up the halls of my mess."

"C-Curse?"

>"Yeah. Pastamancy curse or something. Overflowing flow of pasta out of my pockets and whatever hole my body has."

>Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

"L-look, Mr. Joe asked me t-to tell you that you're flunking home economics."

>"I am? Oh jeez, I completely forgot about my classes!"

"H-how can someone forget about classes?"

>"I was busy trying to find something that will help me rule the city!"

"W-What?"

>"Look, just forget it."

>The amount of social interaction has once again caught you to your knees.

"Ack!"

>You lean towards the lockers just to support your legs.

>"Something wrong?"

"Y-yeah. Its n-nothing. Just some anxiety issues."

*grumble**grumble*

>"Oh bother."

"You're hungry?"

>"I swear, my spaghetti tastes terrible."

"D-do you want something to eat?"

>Shimmers stops sweeping and looks at you curiously.

>"Are you asking me out?"

>You then realized what you just said and immediately sat on the floor, with your lower body paralyzed.

"Ahh! I...I mean...I mean...ahh..."

>"Anyway, since you just told me that I'm about to flunk..."

>she pulls you by the shirt.

"GYAH!"

>"YOU ARE TO HELP ME PASS THAT CLASS, OR SO HELP ME I WILL SMITE THEE WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS A-"

"P-PLEASE! YOU'RE FLOODING THE HALL!"

>"What?"

>Shimmers looks around to see her hoard of spaghetti to scatter all across the hallway.

>"Ahh dammit, not again."

 

59 MINUTES LATER

>"Aaand, done. Now where's that janitor?"

>You and Shimmers went to the janitor's room to find a small note on it.

>[spoiler]/lol jk./[/spoiler]

>"AAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHH!"

>She rips the note to shreds.

>"THAT NO GOOD PIECE OF...ARGH!"

"Err...S-shimmers? You're spreading again."

>You point out to Sunset that sudden bursts of emotion causes spaghetti to fly out of her body.

>"Ack! You're right!"

"Maybe you should just r-rest? I mean, you've earned it after all."

>"First I'm spilling spaghetti out and tomorrow I have a damn test! UGH THIS IS THE WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE!."

*grumble*

>You can hear her stomach grumble.

"L-listen. W-why don't I cook something up for you at the home ec' room? I c-could even teach you a few things so y-you'd be ready for the test tomorrow."

>"You'd do that for me?"

"W-well, you did just threaten me an hour ago... anyway, how bad is your pocket spaghetti?"

>"Taste it."

>You took a sample and tasted her spaghetti.

>...

>It tastes like a rat's tail.

"A-Alright, I can work with this.

 

HOME ECONOMICS ROOM

 

>"Are you sure we're still allowed here? It's 7:30 in the evening."

"W-we'll be fine. It's m-my treat."

>You grab a few of the leftover food from the cabinets.

>Some basil leaves, chili and some cashew nuts.

>"What are all these?"

"Stuff that will make your organic pasta taste better.

>You chop the basil leaves' petiole off.

"T-try it."

>"I know how to cut a leaf, moron."

>You simply let out a smile, whilst sweating intensely.

>As the chopping goes by, Shimmers screams.

 

>"AHHH!"

"Ahh! D-did you cut yourself?"

>"MY NAIL!"

>Her middle finger's nail has been chipped. Like, scratched.

"Oh Shimmers. If you're going to keep complaining, there's no hope for you."

>She emphasizes her middle finger.

>After chopping the leaves, you put it in a bowl while you go ahead to prepare some of the meatballs.

"See Shimmers? The trick here is to r-roll it firmly in place."

>"If you make one testicle joke, I will hit you with this spoon."

"I wasn't..."

>"Sorry, I'm just a bit frustrated with all the noodles I keep spewing out. Not to mention my grades."

"Look Shimmers, you're a smart girl. You just need to take things seriously, and as for your pastamancy, you just need to learn how to use it better."

>"Wow, and not a single stutter."

"Ahh...w-well, that's because t-the cooking helps me with my confidence."

>"Hmph. If you say I can do it, than you can too with your social anxiety."

"H-heh. I d-doubt it."

 

>You take some of the meatballs and boiled it in a pot that has little water in it.

>Looking at how Shimmers is doing, she's already enjoying herself with mixing the bowl of leaves and seasonings.

"Y-Your doing great."

>You then grabbed another bowl and some other ingredients.

"Right. Some salt, sugar, vinegar, a slice of cinnamon and some green chilis."

>"What are you making now?"

"Our second sauce. We're going to make a fine tomato sauce from scratch."

>"Whoa! I thought tomato sauces were grown from the market."

"..."

>"I'm joking!" She says as she pats your back. "Lighten up."

"...r-right."

>You started chopping the tomatoes.

>Shimmers starts to help by chopping the garlic and onions.

>Her smile motivates you to go through with the whole thing for the whole night.

>"Here. Add these. I'm sure they'd taste great with the other stuff." She said.

"See? You're learning! You'll pass that test in no time."

>"Yeah. Guess the night's worth it."

>The two of you keep on mixing and checking the fire.

>"Man, I can just smell the aroma from all these ingredients."

"Y-yeah. Now w-we just need some of your pocket spaghetti."

>You take some of her noodles and measured them all.

>Yanking and slicing, Shimmers just chuckles.

>"Gently, please! You're so rough~"

>[sweating intensifies]

>Shimmers then stirs the the pot while the boiled meatballs spin firmly.

>You put in the spaghetti and stirred with her with another spoon.

>"You sure we need two spoons?"

"W-well, it helps to mix the flavours faster, yeah?"

>Shimmers stops stirring and then asks you a few questions while she looks around the room.

>"You know, alot of women really finds men who knows how to cook hot."

"Err.."

>"Do you have a girlfriend, Pete?"

"W-What's with the q-question?"

>"Well, I just find it intriguing, is all."

"What's so intriguing about that? You know I have social a-anxiety."

>"What about that botanist, Sweetleaf?"

"S-She's just a f-friend. B-besides, she's in love with gardening, and most times, money."

>"Ahh, so you're truly single, hmm?" She says flirtingly.

"S-sunset."

>"Well, there must be some reason why you'd go to the trouble of helping a beautiful girl like me in the middle of the night..."

"Look, S-shimmers, whatever you're thinking, I have no malicious intent for you. I j-just think you deserve a n-nice meal from the hard work you just endured. All the e-embarrassment, and whatnot."

>Shimmers looks in surprise.

>This is the first time anyone's ever done something for her without the intent of going into her panties.

>"Wow...you're really telling the truth."

"And I have no motivation to lie."

*DING*

"It's done."

>You take out the spaghetti and the meatballs and put them on a small plate.

>You then divide the spaghetti on the plate into two and poured the two sauces in.

>First was the tomato sauce and the second would be the pesto sauce.

>The smoke of fragrance covers the whole room.

>Shimmers is already tired of waiting.

"Here."

>You put two plates on a table and then you put the dish on the middle.

>Shimmers grabs a plate-full and munches down on the spaghetti.

>"Oh my gosh, this is delicious! Doesn't even taste like cow dung, like before!"

"I'm glad you liked it. This is both our cooking." You say with a smile.

>Shimmers stops chewing due to her surprise.

>Looking at your smile and closed eyes, she finds something of a saint in front of her.

>It's like she's dining in heaven.

"Is t-there something w-wrong? A-Are you choking?"

>Shimmers shakes her head and smiles.

>"I'm fine. It's just a romantic evening, and we've only just met."

>Shimmers holds your hand as she looks with thankful eyes.

>You control the urge to spazz out and just went with the moment.

>Shimmers then went on to continue eating.

>You calmly ate your fill.

>"*nom* say, what are the chances of you and me finding a strand of noodles that we both sip on until our lips touch? Haha.."

"Ha...hah..."

>Finally, once the meal has been consumed, you stood up and grabbed some kid-packaged grape juice from the fridge.

>Shimmers laughs as she sees you do that.

"W-Well, better than alcohol." You say as you hand her a packet of juice.

>You inserted the straw at the same time as hers.

"C-cheers."

>"You certainly know how to save the mood, haha."

"Look, S-Shimmers. About y-your p-predicament..."

>"Oh this? Don't worry about it. I'd be crying all night right now because of this curse, but with what you showed me today, I found the brighter side of this blessing."

"And t-that is?"

>"There's always a way to make a bad thing good."

"I...I c-can say the same for you..."

>"oh..."

"D-Don't take it the w-wrong way, but you're a sweet girl and you just bully alot of people sometimes."

>"Well, I can't deny that. I guess I just put up with my frustrations by beating everyone up."

"W-What is it that you're so angry about all the time?"

>"Would you believe me if I told you I came from another dimension where ponies are the main beings of the world?"

"..."

>"Thought so. I've been obsessed with becoming a ruler that I forget how to act inconspicuous in this world. Heh. Look at me. I sound like a drunk."

"W-well, I don't think your story's all that farfetched."

>"Oh you're just saying that."

"H-hey, spaghetti curses, that purple woman and her talking dog, the weird stuff that hall monitor does..."

>"Well, you do have a point."

>You grab her hand and told her something she'd never forget.

"Whatever happens, always be the best that you can, not the worst that you can be. Even worse people have found their brighter side."

>Shimmers' eyes shine as she blushes heavily.

>"I...I think I know what to do tomorrow."

"Great."

>After drinking, you went on to wash the plates.

"You c-can go home now. I'll just clean up."

>"Pete."

"Hmm?"

>Shimmers takes your hand and pulls you away from the sink.

>She then kisses you on the lips gently.

"..."

>"..."

"..."

>Shimmers then looks at you one more time and says;

>"Thanks for the meal. You're a really nice guy."

"Y-You too..."

>Shimmers then walks out of the room.

"Oh blubber..." you say as you hold your mouth with your hand.

*thud*

>You faint from what just happened, and slept throughout the whole night in the classroom.

 

THE NEXT DAY

 

>>"You think he's dead?"

>"HE'S BEEN ASSASSINATED! CALL THE ARMY! CALL THE CIA!"

>>"Oh shut up, Roman."

"Uuuughh..."

>You woke up from the floor.

>On your forehead, a stamp from Axel about 'trespassing school halls after closing, sleeping on the floor, etc.

"Oh..."

>>"Man, whatever happened to you?"

"Err...I..."

>Just then, the professor then comes into the room.

>>>"Ahh, Pete. I see you're up now."

"Mr. Joe?"

>You look around the room to see it completely empty.

"Ahh..."

>>>"Hope you didn't forget about the make-up test today."

"I...I didn't. I guess I just passed out in the classroom yesterday."

>>>"Now what could've possibly made you do that?"

"I..."

 

*CRAASSHH*

 

 

>"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Roman shouts

>>"What in blazes?"

>"IT'S THE FLOATING SPAGHETTI GOD, HERE TO DELIVER JUDGEMENT!"

"N-No! It's Shimmers!"

>Shimmers is 10 feet off the ground, carried by her spaghetti strands.

>She looks like Doctor Octopus, but minus the fat and 10 times the tentacles.

>>"SHIMMERS IS THE SPAGHETTI GOD? WE'RE DOOOOMMMED!"

"Shimmers! W-What's going on?"

>>>"Well, I thought about what you said, and I used this curse of mine for good!" She says as she waves the Pastanomicon book in her hand.

>She then uses a few strands of pasta to grab you off the floor.

"Ahh!? What's going on?"

>>>"We're off back to Canterlot, and I want you to come with me...my love."

>>"Your love!?" Sweetleaf says in surprise, followed by a confused chuckle.

"B-but what about passing home economics?"

>>>"Screw that, I'm the goddess of string food!"

>She summons a horde of meatball soldiers from the ground.

>They begin causing chaos around the school.

>>>"TOGETHER, WE SHALL WRAP THAT FOOL CELESTIA IN ORGANIC NOODLES, AND WE SHALL RULE CANTERLOT AS KING AND QUEEN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA."

"Ahhh..."

>>>"Now come along, future husband. We have a coup de etat to attend.

"Oh p-poop."

>This mess was the last thing you could've thought of when Shimmers learned something from yesterday.

>Looking at her face, she shows great determination and motivation.

>She looks at you and smiles innocently.

>And you're forever her slave, because you don't even have the courage to tell her you don't want to be her boyfriend.

"Oh w-well..."

>Better to die in a prison of love, I suppose.

>And that's the last thing you thought about before Shimmers enters a strange portal.

>>>"Oh how I miss this place..."

 

End.