Abnormal Normal: Origins

here's a random one-shot

>Day: shark repellant

>Be Norman

>Boring day, no calls from my friends

>checks the fridge below

>no food other than the chili.

>being hungry, you eat the whole bowl

>You go outside, trying to find something to do or someone to talk to

>Suddenly, a flash through the sky, a ripple through the clouds

>"oh shit it's the zombie apocalypse" you joked to yourself

>You watch in awe as something falls from the sky

>You don;t move, admiring the falling rock

>Realize the space rock is heading straight at your direction

>fuck

>You run like hell, but it was no use. The falling rock caught up to you

>You dodged it's landsite, barely inches away from getting crushed by a space rock

>Staring at the foreign object, you decide to investigate

>You see an artifact of what seems to be alien-like nature

 

WHOA, BRADICAL!

 

>You look behind you, seeing Brad in amazement at what you discovered

>"What happened here, dude?" He asked in excitement

>Explained to him everything you saw while casually dusting off the artifact you salvaged from the trash

>"Is that a...[spoiler]ring[/spoiler]

>It looks orange with a hint of rust. You joke that it's probably a wedding ring

>You put it on to check it's size

>Suddenly, you feel all powerful, as if something great is flowing through your veins

>"Holy shit, I think I can feel something different"

>Brad looks at you in confusion, saying "WHOA, THAT RING MUST BE MAGIC OR SOMETHING"

>You push yourself, feeling good

>Aww yiss, I think I'm...I'm

>You let out a large fart, thanks to the left over chili you found this morning

>goddammit

>Brad let's out a laugh

>Police car comes, you and Brad scoot while still wearing the ring

>you realize that you reached your home in 11 seconds flat, and that Brad still huffing and puffing from running

>"Whoa dude, I never saw you run that fast since the day you and Shimmers met" he said

>"I guess I just had a surge of energy"

>Be seeing you later. I gotta check this thing in the internet.

>Go to room

>You look at the ring, inspecting it for a bit while your PC boots up

>Suddenly, it flashes a hologram

>You drop the ring and hide beside the bed

>The hologram appears to be inhuman at first

>You recognize the hologram. A human looking guy, wearing a suit, with a green complextion. There's no facial expressions, only a mouth

>It looks like the guy who kicked you in the football stadium

"NORMAN OF NORMAL EARTH."

>You look at it as it shouts it's message

>ISSH...CREHHH...GAAARRR...SMMSHHH

>it seems damaged, and it can't relay the message

>Ring shuts down it's hologram, going back to normal.

>"Oh jeez"

>You walk in circles, thinking about the whole thing

>At last, you tell yourslef "If there's one person who's normal enough for this shit, it's Purple"

>You grab your stuff, grab your ring, and dashed out of the house, hoping to find Purple before something else happens

 

>Be Fluttershy

>Tutoring Twilight on the human structure

>Twi seems facinated by it, but she still keeps making references to horses and ponies

>was about to ask her about her obsessions with equine beings, when suddenly your front door went forward and landed on her wall

>you let out a short low scream, before realizing that Norman did it

>"S-Sorry about the door, I'll...uhh...pay for it!"

>You let out a blush and said "N-Norman! What brings you here

>"I need to find Purple, I need her help with something! I was hoping if you knew where she was." he said panting

>"I'm here Norman! What do you need me for?" she said

>Norman shows her the ring, and you both look in awe and confusion

>"I-is that for Rarity?"

>No, it's something I found from some meteor.

>Norman explains his whole morning, with parts that neither of you can't believe

>"Well, that door made your story plausible, but.."

>Suddenly, Twilight grabs Norman's ring, examining it with the eyes of a hawk

>"This could be the artifact I was looking for!"

>Norman grabs the ring "We don't even know what this is!"

>"What else does it do?"

>"Well, I could run faster than before, and that." Norman says while looking at the door

>"Maybe this thing doubles my normal everyday abilities!"

>"Y-you mean you can heal at twice the rate and hear at twice the frequency"?

>"Probably." He says in delight. "I could probably even survive a day with all your pets!"

>"Hmm, this requires more testing" Twilight said

>Twilight grabs the nearest chair and slams it on Norman's head without warning

>"Gaah~" you scream.

>"Well that didn't work" Twilight says, looking at Norman passed out body

>"Uhh, Twilight...Norman wasn't wearing the ring yet"

>Twilight looks at both his hands

>"Oh...fudge nuggets."

 

>Be Norman

>The last thing you remember was Flutter's face

>goddammit, what happenned?

>You float in space, wondering what's going on

>You float on, looking at your surroundings

>The environment is strange, it looks like a galaxy filled with weird looking planets.

>You land on a strange planet, seemingly in war

>You see a woman with short purple hair, wearing a grey coat with derp eyes, a fedora with a small strip of paper on it

>She is reading a book,  "The Bra- Adventu- Norm-" was the only thing you could see, for her hands hide some of the characters

>She looks at you, lifting her glasses and smirking

>"Ahh, what a surprise, you're here" she says

>Where am I?

>"Well, if there's one thing for certain, you're not supposed to be here. Best case scenario is that you just passed out. Worst case scenario is, you're dead".

>You look at her with shock

>"W-what!? I'm dead..or...PROBABLY DEAD?" you exclaim.

>Look, I'd love to play 200 questions with you, but I have a civil war to attend to.

>"Wait! Maybe you could help me! You see, I found this ring..."

>She stops, looks at you with her cold gaze.

>"...and I suddenly gained superpowers or something, plus there's this message that I couldn't quite make out"

>"What message?" she asked

>"Some green guy in a suit. The rest of the message is just broken and corrupted"

>"Well, there's the answer to your question" she said.

>"My theory is that someone just made your life more interesting just for the heck of it"

>"But..."

>Look I gotta go. /v/ just dropped another daily reminder, and it's summer hour right now. Get that message fixed.

>She leaves, and you're left with a dumb look in your face. You look at your surroundings, questioning the environment, as well as her semi-cryptic answers.

 

Be Purple

>Oh smudge, you just knocked out your friend

>what do what do what do

>"Just help me carry him to the couch" Flutters tells you

>You lift him up with all your might from his back and you suddenly drop him on Flutters

>"Gahh~" she says, lying down with Norman on top of her

>"My bad" you say to her.

>Moments passed after we managed to lift Norman to the couch

>You examine the ring ,wearing it and all that.

>"W-what do you feel?" Flutters inquired.

>Pretty...normal." You tell her

>You take the ring off, and decided to put it on Norman's finger

>"Let's see what happens next"

 

Be Norman

>You're taking a look around the place.

>Pointless arguments spouting left and right arguing on something called "best pony"

>People causing trouble amongst the sectors while a huge man with a white mustache sleeps amongst the insanity

>Before you could do more exploring, you felt your finger going hot, as if something is making it sweaty.

>Suddenly something flashes through your eyes

>A green man in a tuxedo, a mouth without a face. It was him.

NORMAN OF NORMAL EARTH.

 

>You look onto the man, scared shitless because he appeared out of nowhere.

>He gazes upon you without his eyes, speaking of his speach

>YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FROM MORE THAN 50 BACKGROUND CHARACTERS TO WIELD THIS RING. WE SHALL BE SPECTATING ON YOUR ADVENTURES WITH AND WITHOUT THIS RING.

>(As the man was talking, the whole environment transformed into something similar to Celestia's song in the S3 finale)

>Screens everywhere, depicting his whole life, as well as several others from the multiverse

>"Fuck, why can't my life be like that?" you say, pointing the universe (or oneshot) where you have a perfect relationship with Aryan Beauty"

>THIS IS ALL YOU, ONLY IN DIFFERENT UNIVERSES. ONE WHERE YOU IMPREGNATE BUTTON'S MOTHER, THE OTHER WHERE BRAD MAKES YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE HIS WAIFU, INCLUDING [spoiler]KURO, WHO IN TURN, BECOMES A GODDESS AMONGST THE STARS[/spoiler]

>"But why?"

>YOU'RE PROBABLY QUESTIONING NOW WHY YOU WERE CHOSEN

>The man in the tux shows a picture of Ditzy, Lyra, Octavia, Vinyl and several others

>BECAUSE YOUR DESIGN INTRIGUES US. AS FOR YOUR RING, MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT. WE SHALL BE SPECTATING. AUF WIEDERSEHEN

>The man in the tux leaves your sight, and you're left with more questions than answers. Who am I? Why was I chosen, and why were THEY chosen?

>As you become more self aware, you wake up from the horrible nightmare.

>"NORMAN! YOU'RE ALIVE" Purple shouted.

>"We were worried" Flutters said

>"Ugh, what happenned, and what did you mean "I'm Alive"?

>"Oh, that. I uhh..smashed a chair on your head..FOR SCIENCE" Purple defended herself

>"Well, as long as it wasn't seriou-

>Before you could finish your sentence, Purple blurted out,"Now that you're wearing the ring, I suggest we do MORE TESTING"

>Purple grabbed an axe from Flutter's closet and tried to swing it onto your head

>"JESUS, PURPLE. WHAT THE HELL?"

>"We must test more! How else are we going to realize your full potential?"

>"Look, I'll just find another way to test myself" You said whilst grabbing and throwing the axe back to Flutter's closet

>"Why do you even have that in your closet?"

>"Angel sometimes can't sleep without firewood"

>You look at her with a small smirk

>Moments later, you tell them your nightmare up to the last detail

>"...and there was this whole screen where I was marrying Aryan Beauty, and this other one where everyone was obsessed with twerking. It was all very weird"

>"Oh my, that does sound weird" Flutters said, going red

>"In the end, he mentioned something about being chosen because of designs, and that I was chosen with Vinyl, Octavia, Lyra, Ditzy, and other people I dont know"

>"Could it be that they know something about this?"

>"I'm not so sure."

>You look out, seeing the sunset.

>"Well, it's getting late, I should go. I'll call you when something happens"

>And with that, you leave Flutters house, and ran through the streets.

>You stop for a while, looking at the clouds, wondering what the future holds, as well as the multiverse.

>Words echo in your head. Suddenly a call for help was shouted

>HELP!

>It's Apple's grandmother, getting mugged by some street thug.

>"Just give me the bag you old cunt!"

>You you look at your fist, where your ring was worn.

>You looked at the thug with determination in  your eyes, and said to yourself, "Well, if Kickass had the guts..."

>You rush torwards the thug with athletic speed, and punched his stomach, causing him to land on the wall behind his back.

>The thug held his stomach in sheer pain. Granny Smith  looked in shock.

>"Norman! How did you do that?" she asked

>"Uhh...scientific analysis? you said

 

>Suddenly Brad runs torwards Norman

>"WHOA DUDE. THAT WAS BRADICAl."

>"Yeah well, it felt...good"

>"We need to get him to a hospital. He's in serious pain!" Granny said

>As she calls 911 for assistance, Brad starts speaking nonsense

>"BRO, I think you got super powers! You could be a super hero! Complete with the tights!"

>"Look, I'm not going to be-"

>"THINK A BOUT IT! WE COULD HAVE FAME, MONEY-"

>"Look Brad,as much as I'd love to be one, I just don;t have the time for it.

>"Look bro, how many people get to have superpowers in one lifetime? You can't leave this whole idea on the ground!"

>Ehh...

>As you think about the situation, Granny taps you on the shoulder

>"Thank you for saving me Norman. Would you like some Apple pie? We have some left at our house"

>"No thank you Mrs. Smith. I have to get going"

>As you ran home, Brad yelled at you "DON'T FORGET ABOUT WHAT I SAID"

>Going in your home, you went to your room and lied down in exhaustion.

>You thought about the ring some more, as well as Brad's idea.

>"A super hero, huh?"

>You look through your closet, finding your old beanie, a few tattered clothes and an idea for a costume.

>You look out the window with a smile, hoping that this wouldn't be the worst idea you would go through with.

 

END? of Chapter 1.

 

 How'd I do?