- 3
- >Canterlot was nice and clean, like last time.
- >That’s somewhat eerie to you; humans could never keep anything clean.
- >Or keep anything at all.
- >You quickly join Twilight to Celestia ever so vigilant on her throne.
- >”Anon, Twilight, good to see you both.” She smiles.
- >You realize this isn’t as bad as it would seem.
- >”Any specific reason we’re here, Princess?” Twilight asks, hopes up.
- >”Actually, I just need to speak to Anon here.” Celestia nears you.
- >Oh boy.
- >Twilight looks disappointed.
- >”Twilight, can you leave us for a moment?” Celestia gives her another radiant smile, and waves her off.
- >Once Twilight is out, Celestia turns to you.
- >This might be worse than you expected.
- >”So, Anon.” Celestia nears you more. “I heard you’ve grown – quite close to my sister.”
- >Boom. Game over.
- >You give a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of your head.
- >”Okay, you got me, Celestia, that’s twenty three to twenty two?” You shoot your fingers again.
- >Celestia is not amused.
- >”I’m serious, Anon.”
- >You shrink. “Oh.”
- >”Anon, I mean no offense, but-“
- >”I’m a human, and Luna’s an alicorn. I know.”
- >You gone through this before.
- >That time when you brought a girl home.
- >She was a different race.
- >Mom freaked out.
- >”Precisely. I hope you can keep your distance from her.” Celestia, makes herself clear.
- >”I’ll try.”
- >”Excellent. Now, for the other matter at hand.”
- >You squirm.
- >”Speaking of which, I’ve heard you made quite a ruckus with your guitar.”
- >”Oh yeah! Sorry about that.”
- >”No no, some ponies are actually demanding you play your human songs again. It’s quite popular.”
- >NO
- >NOT ONE DIRECTION AGAIN
- >SAY NO ANON
- >”Okay, Princess, I’ll perform.”
- >WHAT HATH THY DONE
- >”But can I perform other songs?”
- >”No problem, Anon.” She chuckles.
- >You stop and think.
- >How could you end it with Luna?
- >You just started.
- >”Princess?” You hold out a hand.
- >”Yes, Anon?”
- >”How should I end this *thing*?” To be frank, you wouldn’t.
- >Luna was a great friend- you liked her.
- >”I’m not sure, Anon. I’m not particularly good in relationships.”
- >You stop.
- >How did you break it last time?
- >You became an asshole.
- >Made her hate you.
- >Break up.
- >Manly tears.
- >The two of you are in silence for a while, before you speak.
- >”What if we presented her with an alternative?” You ask.
- >”That-“ Celestia pauses. “Might work!”
- >You can’t believe you’re helping to spring your own relationship.
- >But then again, this is a god you’re dealing with.
- >”Alright, I’ll arrange for a prince to come here. Hm, Prince Charming might do…” Trollestia trails off, leaving you alone.
- >You slump onto the ground.
- >Well, shit.
- >A frightened maid gallops to Twilight, who was enjoying a nice sandwich.
- >”Ms. Sparkle!” She says, gasping for air.
- >”Can I help you?” She asks, raising her brow.
- >”I-it’s Anon.”
- >Twilight’s eye widens.
- >Dang.
- >Twilight comes into the throne room, empty and dark.
- >She inspects around the columns, nothing.
- >Suddenly, she hears a loud smash.
- >Sounds like vases being smashed.
- >There was my little Anon, swinging a bat once in a while.
- >Following the swing was the noise.
- >Twilight comes closer.
- >”Anon?” She asks.
- >You turn around, before smashing another vase.
- >”Oh, hi, Twilight. Care to join me?” You turn, conjuring another vase, float it, and smash it to bits.
- >Luckily, the vase dissipates upon destruction, so no mess.
- >”Anon, are you alright?” Twilight takes a step closer.
- >”Me? Yeah, I’m fine.” You slump to the ground.
- >Twilight sits next to you.
- >”Why are you smashing vases, Anon?” She glances nervously at you.
- >”Because that’s what humans do when we’re pissed.”
- >”Pissed?”
- >You look over.
- >”Angry.”
- >”Oh.”
- >”Why are you angry, Anon?”
- >You are getting sick of twenty questions.
- >”Because the world revolves to repeatedly fuck me in the ass.”
- >”Ex-cuse me?”
- >”Make my life miserable.”
- >”Oh.”
- >”Why does the-“
- >”I don’t want to talk about it, Twilight.”
- >”Oh.”
- >You sniffle and wipe your eyes.
- >Twilight sure notices this, and tries to get you.
- >”Anon, are you crying?”
- >”No.” You sniffle again, and your voice breaks.
- >Dammit.
- >You bring up another vase, and smash it to bits.
- >”Say, Anon.”
- >”Yeah?”
- >”I didn’t know you could do magic.”
- >”Neither did I. I just pop things into reality.”
- >”Really? Is that a human thing?”
- >”No, I got this power a while ago.”
- >”Interesting.”
- >”Look, Twi, are you here to make me feel better or not? If Not, I got some garden gnomes to smash.”
- >Twilight pauses.
- >”Come with me, Anon.”
- >”And then- she said I should break up!” You sob loudly, obviously drunk.
- >Twilight pats your back.
- >”There, there Anon. Maybe it isn’t meant for you two.”
- >You cry like a child.
- >Your manhood hurts, but it feels good to let it all out.
- >iknowthatfeelbro.jpg
- >It feels great to have Twilight consoling you, with another friend, the vodka.
- >You wipe your tears off.
- >Time to man up.
- >”Y-you’re right, Twilight.” You finally get back to your feet.
- >”There we go, Anon- now go break her heart.”
- >You stand up.
- >”YEAH!” You let out a war cry.
- >You run out of the bar.
- >The barkeep taps Twilight’s shoulders.
- >”That would be twenty bits please.”
- >Twilight glances over.
- >”Uhm, can I go get my friend first?”
- >You find Luna in the gardens.
- >She’s playing around with a blue rose, setting it with one or two enchantments.
- >”Hey, Luna.” You wave, as you near the alicorn.
- >”Hey Anon! Glad to see you.” She comes over and gives you a pony hug.
- >You realize you have to stab her heart out.
- >Figuratively.
- >”You know, I got this magical blue rose for you, Anon.” Luna picks the rose and hands it over to you.
- >You’re stung by its pricks.
- >”Aren’t you hurt by its pricks?” You ask, holding the flower much safely.
- >”It’s nothing I can’t handle.” She smiles at you.
- >Oh god, why must they torture you so.
- >You glance at the flower and to the alicorn.
- >”Something wrong, Anon?” She asks, nervous.
- >”No, it’s fine. The flower is lovely. Back in my place, guys give girls flowers.” You smile to her, slowly getting close.
- >No, this isn’t part of the plan.
- >”Well then, you owe me a rose.” Luna says, coming closer to you.
- >nononono abort abort
- >You blush a bit, not noticing Luna’s approach.
- >”Luna, I-“
- >Luna shushes you, and forces her lips to yours.
- >God-fucking-dammit.
- >You try to resist, before being tripped by a foreleg.
- >You fall into the flower bed, trying to process what is happening.
- >oh boy.
- >”Uhm. Luna?”
- >She gives you a seductive look.
- >”Luna.”
- >Closer and closer.
- >A shit-storm is brewing.
- >Luna is over you now.
- >Thank god for the invention of pants.
- >She leans in closer, ever closer.
- >You’re paralyzed.
- >Something inside of you explodes, letting you muster all of your courage.
- >”Luna!”
- >She finally stops.
- >”We’re over.”
- >She immediately gets off you.
- >”Anon, you don’t surely mean-”
- >”Yeah, we’re through.”
- >That’s right- now go for her weak heart.
- >”I thought it through. And you know what; I don’t want a freak as my girl.”
- >”Anon, you surely jest-“
- >”I don’t want a mentally abused shut-in dragging me about.”
- >”You’re clumsy, awkward, and stupid.”
- >Luna is in verge of tears now.
- >”I mean, blue roses? Who came up with that? No wonder you’re still single.”
- >”Anon, stop please.”
- >You take the rose, crumple it with your hands, and throw it over.
- >”We’re through. I hate you.”
- >You turn, taking a few steps.
- >You face Luna again.
- >”Get out of my sight, freak.”
- >That was the bulleye.
- >Luna, barely holding her tears, turns away, before some unicorn jumps in.
- >”How dare you!” The stallion speaks.
- >Must be your replacement.
- >”What are you, Prince Whiteknight?” You ask, almost laughing.
- >”How did you know?”
- >MYSIDES.jpg
- >He consoles Luna for a while.
- >”Excuse me while I take care of this creature.”
- >Whait whut.
- >In a second, you’re thrown off your feet to the ground.
- >Ouch.
- >A pair of hooves land on your chest, taking out your breath.
- >Several punches land on your face.
- >This wasn’t the part of the deal.
- >You’re scrawny self is too weak to fight off the stallion.
- >After few minutes of beating, the stallion trots back to Luna, trying to console her.
- >They both leave.
- >You lay on the garden grass, feeling the night’s breeze.
- >You cough out a tooth or two, spitting them over the grass.
- >You wheeze, and you finally get up.
- >You go over and pick up the rose you trashed.
- >You hold it tightly in your hands, only reminder of Luna you have now.
- >She hates you.
- >Probably for the best.
- >All according to plan.
- >You slowly heal yourself, popping back your tooth, ridding some major bruises.
- >Your mind is too full of fuck to completely heal your face.
- >You hold the stem tighter.
- >You feel the sting, having several trickles of blood coming from your hand.
- >You sniffle one more time, and start to walk.
- >Celestia joins you soon enough.
- >”Excellent performance, Anon- I have to admit the prince was too brash but-“
- >You give Celestia a cold stare.
- >She stops.
- >”L-let me heal your face Anon.” Her horn starts to glow.
- >You gently push the horn away.
- >”No need, Princess, I got this.”
- >You start to limp away from Celestia, trying to wander away.
- >Celestia notices your hand and gasps.
- >”Anon, your hand…”
- >You ignore her.
- >You walk deeper into the gardens.
- >After hours of seemingly endless walk, you stop under a statue.
- >Looking back, you realize you left quite a trail of blood.
- >Nothing much, through.
- >You finally break down, sobbing once again.
- >”Poor, Anon. He only wanted some love.” A rather sinister voice comes out of nowhere.
- >You look around.
- >No ponies about.
- >”Behind you, Anon.” You get up, and turn.
- >You face a strange statue, a sort of a chimera.
- >A dragon’s body, lion’s paw, all kinds of animal parts stitched up.
- >”What’s wrong? Never seen anyone so handsome?” The statue whispers.
- >”Who are you?” You ask, taking a step back.
- >”A friend.” The statue says, giving a mischievous laugh.
- >You find yourself laughing along as well.
- >Twilight groans.
- >After having no bit to pay, she had to do clean cups in the bar for an hour.
- >Only when she accidentally dropped Celestia’s name, the barkeep let her go.
- >He seemed a bit spooked, having Celestia’s favorite student do menial work for him.
- >By the time Twilight arrived at the castle, it was almost eleven.
- >Celestia was on her throne, mumbling to herself about something.
- >”Princess?” She asks, worried.
- >”It is for the best. It is for the best.” Celestia keeps reminding herself.
- >Twilight slowly backs out of the chamber, heading to the gardens.
- >Twilight notices a trail of red liquid over the garden.
- >Curiosity getting the best of her, Twilight followed it.
- >Soon, she saw Anon, sprawled under Discord’s statue.
- >This can’t be good.
- >Twilight nears you, as you lay on the soft grass again, laughing.
- >”Anon, are you-“
- >Twilight looks over your face.
- >”What happened to your face?”
- >”Twilight. Am I a bad person?”
- >”Of course you’re not, Anon.”
- >You get up, giving her a sad smile.
- >”Is there something wrong?” Twilight asks, worried.
- >”Of course there is.” Discord coils around you.
- >Twilight gasps.
- >”Anon- Discord!”
- >”Nice to see you again, Twilight.”
- >You are blank.
- >”Let him go, Discord.” Twilight’s horn starts to glow.
- >”Why would I do that? He needs my help.”
- >”Anon get away from him!” Twilight charges.
- >”Twilight, thanks for everything.” You tell your friend.
- >Discord and You teleport away in a puff of smoke.
- >Twilight walks over the place you were previously on.
- >She looks up to the sky, front hooves out stretched-
- >”DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!”
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