OH SHIT WHAT YOU DOING CRACKA

1

 

Two men, clad in suits- walks along the white hallway.

Some clerks pass them by, nodding to them, otherwise ignoring.

They near one white door on the left side of the white hallway.

The two nod to each other, and enter the door.

The door leads them to a darker room, covered in computers, monitors and god knows how many buttons.

A man is already there, typing few commands into the computer in front of him.

One of the new entrants peek at one of the monitors, which showed a line graph that rapidly rose up and down.

He quickly noticed it was detecting heartbeat. But whose?

It is a clear Sunday morning, and you wake at 10:00.

You could've sworn you set the alarm to go off at 8:00, but hey, 4chan can wait.

You shuffle over to your bathroom, to see your thin, long face with bedraggled hair.

You grunt and take a quick shower. Once you're dry, you put on your undergarments, a clear inner shirt, black jeans, a white shirt, and a tie to top it off.

You were, after all, going to a funeral. You grab your suit jacket, and walk out.

On your drive to god-knows-where, you glance over to a nearby advert board.

Some kids show saying 'My Little Pony'- God, don't animators have anything better to do these days?

Whatever.

As you regain your focus back to road, you are jerked sideways.

 

You hear a crash on your car door, and feel the insurmountable force coming to and through you. There was a loud screech, and your car levitated.

It then tumbled, not before letting you feel the fun of flight.

 

Way to see that silver lining.

 

The crash was louder than it hurt, but you were jerked in multiple ways, only thing keeping you alive was the seat beat and the airbag.

Gasping for air from the air bag, you flail your arms mindlessly, finally getting your face free.

As you turn to your left, you see an open field of grass... And black.

 

Am I alive?

 

You jump to your ass suddenly, flicking your body forward.

You feel several rivers of blood by your head, and you groan.

You don't have time to see the damage before you painlessly slump back to the ground.

Your eyes twitch from the smoke from the nearby fire, as well as the shock.

The last thing you see is the clear blue sky, which never seemed more cobalt.

 

Two days later, a group of huddled family members gather around a small hole on the ground. The priest reads out empty words of wisdom and sympathy, whilst your mother cries.

The tomb stone reads: "Anonymous Nobody, 1990-2012".

Your brother looks over to your mother, who never looked older.

He finally says;

 

"Mom, they never found the body."

 

The empty coffin is lowered into the meaningless grave.

 

You groan and try to open your eyes.

If you're lucky, you might end up in some sort of heaven.

Never bought that crap, but it never hurts to try.

Surprisingly enough, you wade your sight through the darkness, and all sorts of colours fill your field of view.

The field you landed feels softer now, the grass rustling in the wind.

You think you've heard a bird somewhere. You try to recall what just happened, the car, the classess-ness, the advert-

You jump. "The fucking advert!" you cry.

Oh god, you better hope you got insurance.

 

You take a look around.

 

The road was gone, the car, everything.

Just an open field, wind rustling your now unkempt hair.

Your clothes were clean as well, no sign of blood, debris or both.

You feel light as the breeze, and much younger, to add.

You notice a forest flanking you all around, somewhat convenient that you landed in the open circle, where-ever the hell this place was.

You clasp your hands over your eyes, shielding them from the sunlight.

You notice a town somewhere far off, before you are passed by an over head shadow.

In an instinctive moment, you dive to the ground, just in case something wants to kill you. Nothing happens, and you look up to see some winged horses flying over.

 

No ouchies, all's well and-

 

Whait. Whut?

 

"You're really in something this time." You tell yourself.

 

You look over to the buildings. So... Colourful.

You decide it's pointless to stay out here, so you take your first steps.

About few hours in, your clothes get dirty again from the journey, you reach an apple ranch.

 

"Hello?" You call out. "I think I ate something wrong this morning and ended up in middle of nowhere, anyone?" You call out.

 

No answer.

 

Somehow, you hear a noise.

Not that fly that has been bugging you for a while, but this thick, wooden sound, kinda like buckling.

You hopefully follow through the path, jump over the fence (which wasn't that high to start with, I mean a kid could scale this lego.)

Over few apple trees, you see an orange horse.

 

Is that thing wearing a hat?

 

You shrug it off, maybe the owner's some weird fetish guy.

Then this plan of 'help' could backfire.

As you near it, trying not to startle the animal, you realize this thing's only about waist high to you.

The animal goes around, kicking trees, collecting apples- and loading to a cart.

You realize there's apple all around you.

With the clean grass, and the warm sun, one of them look just right...

You think the owner won’t mind an apple missing, so you pick it up.

 

You gratefully take a bite, reminded that you did not have any breakfast.

The first bite was quite loud through.

The horse stops and turns to you.

Scratch that, it's a bloody pony.

Sensing your stealth has worn off, you naturally go over to the animal, scratch its mane, and duck to face it.

 

"Heyya little guy, you know where your owner is?" You offer the apple you bit before.

 

The pony gives you a disdaining look at the apple as well as your alien looks- to which- something almost human.

 

"Who y' callin' a 'guy'"? The pony asked.

 

sonofabitch- you jump back.

You do a backwards crawl, whilst the pony slowly follows you.

You hear a 'thunk' and realize you're trapped.

But then, you realized you tower over this creature.

You stand up, all mighty and human-like, look down on the pony (which is starting to show fear) and take a strong stance to-

 

You scream like a little girl and climb the tree.

 

It has been few minutes since you escaped to your pony-free tree top.

It's like your very own fort, with you peering down and making fun of the four-legged talking demon.

 

You decide you'll call this one Geoffrey.

 

Or Gilbert. Nah, it just doesn't look like a Gilbert.

The pony on the ground is still yelling things at you, like get off the tree, don't make me get the lasso- ranging from verbal, confused threats to attempts at negotiations.

‘Geoffrey’ has a thick Southern accent, so she’s more of a Bill.

As you think of multiple names you could possibly give the mare, it leaves and trots off into a nearby barn, leaving you for a second.

You try to reflect what you just saw, a light-orange coloured pony with blonde hair- would you call it hair? Seems like it.

There was a word for it… starts with ‘m’, m-ma-mane, mane, that’s it.

The creature has long blonde mane and tail, tied at its edges by a red band.

It has freckles on its face, three dotting both cheeks.

It had large eyes which were green; you’d say a bit too big to fit the realities of what you picked up in Biology class.

 

Then again, you barely passed.

 

So you shrug off the entire eye-to-head ratio.

Its head was oval, having a small snout point out to form its mouth.

Like you noticed before, it was barely tall as your waist.

 

Oh, and it had a tattoo of three apples on its thigh. You couldn’t miss it.

 

Trying to reason out your situation, you pick another apple off, since no one can think without some food.

As you take your first bite, the pony returns.

 

Seems like the world does not want you to eat.

 

“Right ya feller, now you come down here right now, or I’ll make you.” The pony speaks again.

“Geoffrey, would you kindly quiet down, I’m trying to eat.” You wave it off, taking another bite.

“Geoffrey? Look mister, I don’t know what you are, but you- y-you” The pony hesitates.

“I’ll be back.” The pony turns and leaves, galloping off to the town.

Once it is in a distance from you, it turns and shouts, “And it’s Applejack!”

 

Oh lookie, it has a name.

 

Okay, time to get your straight face on.

 

Being gay feels weird.

 

Time to think.

You were on a road, something hit you- probably a car- you experienced child birth, and now, you wake up in an orchard whilst a pony (talking) barks things at you?

 

Nope, this shit ain’t logical.

 

Applejack was it? You still prefer to call it Geoffrey.

 

With a cock-ney British accent.

Bloody marvelous.

 

But first, you need to figure out how to get out of here, how you even got here, and most importantly, getting this stain off your shirt you got from the forest trek.

From a distance, three ponies home on to your position, Applejack leading the way.

One of them is flying, and another has a horn.

This seriously can’t get any better.

It might, if your sarcasm picked up a bit and there was actual human interaction.

You sigh- smile and wave to the ponies.

 

Funnily enough, they wave back.

 

One is a cobalt coloured winged pony, a mane sporting a rainbow, tail as well.

It has a cloud with thundering rainbow as its thigh tattoo.

 

It must be a thing here.

 

The other is a purple pony, with a darker shade of purple for its mane- except for that bright streak- with a star shaped mark.

Christ, this pony must love purple.

As they near, you sit up on the main branches, ready for some un-reality.

“Uhm, excuse me?” The purple pony starts.

“Yeah?” You answer, much more ‘formal’ now.

“Well, my friend here does not appreciate what you’re doing and-“

“What she is saying is, get the hay off the tree!” The cobalt pony shouts.

It has a distinct husky voice as certain rasp into it, if you will.

She easily scales to tree to you, with her convenient wings.

You frown disapprovingly, grab the flying pony by its face, and push it away.

 

“Personal space, please.”

 

The pony instantly flares up in her response, shouting insults and posing for a fight.

This can’t be serious.

But as a respectable person in your society, you must simply take up the offer.

Also, you’re starting to get annoyed by this pony.

“Fine.” You mutter, and jump to the ground. “Let’s do this.”

“My pleasure.” The pony says, before rearing a little and coming at you, full speed.

You frantically search for a weapon, to which you find a sturdy fallen branch nearby.

 

Must be the debris from your panicked rush to the tree or the apple tree kicking from before.

 

You ready the branch, do your best baseball stance-

 

Wait for it.

Wait…

 

Now!

 

You swing the branch full force, slamming into the pony, shattering with complete disintegration of the weapon.

You turn to see the pony on the ground, groaning over the pain.

“That’s what I’m talking about! Opposable thumbs, bitch!” You jump around in victory, throwing away the small part of the branch you held as the grip.

The two other ponies stare at you in surprise.

As you go into your victory dance, you notice something behind you.

Something just as jumpy, and reeks of sweets.

 

Oh dear god…

 

The pony is completely pink in colour, her coat, her mane and tail.

It has a puffy and entangled mane that hangs by her head.

“Pinkie, stay away from him!” The purple pony yells.

“Twilight, he’s fun! What’s so wrong with him?” This apparent ‘Pinkie’ replies, continuing her jump- you already stopped, enough fun for the day,

 

lest you break your back.

 

The purple pony, who was addressed as ‘Twilight’ (oh god why) ponders what to do, squinting her eyes and watching you, as you glance over all of the four ponies.

Twilight turns to the orange pony from earlier, and whispers something.

Between her words she looks at you and back.

 

This can’t be good.

 

“So,” Twilight takes few steps to you. “Care to tell me who you are?” She forces a smile, passing her downed and knocked out friend.

“I’m Anonymous. Uhm, nice to meet you?” You hold out your hand.

D’oh, you forgot they’re only half your height.

You kneel, still having your hand outstretched to the approaching mare.

“Right…” She forces another grin and takes your hand.

There was an awkward shake and looks between the two of you, before you two share a quiet moment.

You dart your eyes around to think about a proper response, drifting into your own mind.

 

“Now, AJ!” Twilight ducks away, with the orange pony coming up to you.

 

“Now- what?” You ask, before two back hooves of the pony meet your head.

 

2

 

You regain consciousness much later, through the mosaics on the wall, it must be sunset now.

 

Wait, mosaics?

 

You jump to your feet again, looking around.

Oh no, this isn’t the orchard anymore.

There were marble columns on the equally white walls.

The room was spacious, a single large rug ran under you, trailing from the large doors at the one end of the room, to the other end, up the small stairs, to a throne, when your gaze upon several ponies arguing with each other near it.

One distinctive feature was that there was a unique pony towering over the rest.

This one had a clear white coat, its mane was eerily flowing in the airless room, dressed in multiple colours, not like that flying pony with an attitude, but more- distinguished.

The pony had a long protruding horn on its forehead, as well as two great wings on each side. You get a strange feeling of comfort by looking at the creature- it must be a figure of authority here, as she is leading the conversation.

 

And the crown. That too.

 

“So what do you reckon we do with ‘em?” said the orange pony

“Well, he is indeed an unknown creature, most alien. But shan’t it be granted some kindness?”

“He hit me in the face! I say we get ‘em.” Said the flying one.

“B-But he could be an endangered species, I want to take care of it.” Another winged pony spoke, but with a quavering voice.

This winged pony was yellow over all, a long mane covering half of her face, pink in colour. It had three butterflies on its thigh.

“Excuse me?” You cough, catching the attention of the group.

“Oh, Anonymous, you’re awake!” Said Twilight, rushing to you. “We we just discussing what to do with you.”

“Yeah,” said the blue flying pony. “I say we gut him.” She raised one of her hooves threateningly, only getting a cackle from you.

She can’t be serious. “Bring it.” You say, leaning closer, your face harder than ever.

 

No pony is going to push you around.

 

The two of you lean in closer, both ready to fight.

“Dash, stop.” Twilight came in the two of you, pushing you apart.

She gave a nervous chuckle, and continued, “Let’s not fight anymore, somepony could get hurt.”

You admit getting into a fight with the first inhabitant of this land was a bad idea, so you swallow your pride and offer your hand.

 

“I’m sorry, okay?” You say.

 

Badpokerface.jpg

 

‘Dash’ shooks her head disapprovingly, before being met with cold stares from the crowd.

“Fine.” She takes you hand and the two of you shake.

 

Apology accepted?

 

“So, what is to do with me?” You ask, trailing off from the fight.

 

Your expression won’t change.

 

The tall pony came closer to you, beaming with majesty.

You noticed it was about as tall as you, its horns being the leverage to increase her height.

“You are to be kept here. We will study you and deem whatever precautions necessary.”

 

Good god, she sounds like your mom. You nod.

 

“So, where am I staying?” You ask.

“Twilight, show him where he shall stay.” The tall pony ushered the smaller one, before turning away.

Now you notice she had picture of a sun on her thigh.

The room you were led to was probably bigger than your house.

There was a bed on one corner, several tomes of books in bookracks to your right wall, a door to the balcony to your front, and a simple table with two chairs on the corner to your left.

 

“This will be your room for a while, enjoy your stay.” Twilight shuffled her way out slowly, as if wanting to stay.

“Hey, uhm, Twilight?”

“YES?” She eagerly turns to you nearing again.

“Thanks.”

“No problem Anonymous.” She waited.

“I think we got off on the wrong track, what do you say- we start over.” You kneel, holding out a hand.

“Hello, my name is Anonymous. You can call me Anon.”

Twilight smiles and shakes your hand.

“My name’s Twilight Sparkle. Nice to meet you.”

 

Now the two of you are properly acquainted, you should really get to know more of the place you’re in.

 

“Say, Twilight.”

“Hm?”

“You won’t happen to be doing anything this evening, are you?” You start to scratch your head nervously-

 

what the hell man.

 

“Oh! I was going to go back to my home in Ponyville, but I guess I can spare a day or two here. Why?”

“I just wanted to know more about this place.” You reply.

“Great! I happen to be a personal student of Princess Celestia, and sheissogreatthatshetookmeasherstudentandicompletelyadoreher-“

 

Oh god why, she is a fanatic.

 

She might start making shows and writing fanfics about the Princess.

 

“Uhm, Twilight?”

“-andthenshesaidwhydontyougotoponyvilleandiwaslikenoooooo-“

“Twilight.”

“-andboomtherewentthecarriagesoididtheonlyreasonablethingtodotaughtbytheprincessofcourse-“

“TWILIGHT!”

“What? Oh, sorry. I guess we could head down to the library if want to.” Twilight headed towards the door again, motioning you to come along.

 

You simply nod and go with the flow.

 

Turns out everything in the castle is spacious.

The library is said to hold all kinds of tomes ever published in Equestria, which is you learn later the name of the land you landed on.

 

Huh.

 

“Now,” Twilight turns to you with glimmer of excitement. “Where should we start?”

“Hm, I’d say we go with the basics.”

“Like?”

“History?”

Twilight squees and takes out a large tome reading ‘The Brief History of Equestria” by some writer pony called ‘Stephen Hawpone’, they say he’s brilliant, but disabled.

 

Huh.

 

You are somewhat put off by the book, and diverts your attention to the way Twilight took out the tome, using some sort of a purple aura to move the book telekinetically.

“Okay, how do you do that.” You ask, baffled.

“Oh, this? Simple. Magic.”

Bloody hell.

“Magic?” You feel a smirk coming on.

“What about it?” Twilight’s expression hardened, not liking the comment.

“N-nothing. Letsgetbacktoourbook.”

“Ah yeah! Let’s.”

 

It was late night when the two of you finished the history, moving onto ‘Pony Physiology’.

There was a part about pony diet, which consisted of flowers, fruits and any green a filly could swing a stick at.

They were herbivores.

To prove the point, Twilight showed her set of teeth, which were mostly grinding teeth.

 

All that Biology lessons are coming back to you.

 

You show yours, smiling to Twilight.

 

For a second there, she jumped, seeing your canines.

 

Huh.

 

“You eat meat?” She asked, somewhat scared.

“Uhm, yeah? I’m an omnivore, I enjoy both meat and greens.”

“You’re not going to eat me aren’t you?” She asks, worriedly.

 

You get the feeling you’re going to get this question a lot.

 

Finishing up the study of pony physiology, you’re finally aware of some basic knowledge here. This is Equestria, specifically, Canterlot.

As far as you’re concerned, there are three major settlements in Equestria, Canterlot, Ponyville, and Cloudsdale.

There are three- no, scratch that, four kinds of ponies, Earth ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi and Alicorns.

Earth ponies are the backbone of the population, growing food and other menial labour.

Once you put it *that* way, Twilight flinched a bit.

Unicorns are magical, they possess some inherent ability to perform magic, ranging from teleportations to summoning a talking doughnut.

Pegasi are the winged ones, like Rainbow Ass.

They have the ability to walk on clouds, and control the weather.

The final and the most powerful are the Alicorns, possessing both magic and wings.

Princesses Celestia and Luna are prime examples of the kind.

 

Also, the thigh tattoos are ‘Cutie Marks’ –whatthefuck- which shows a pony’s special talent.

 

Twilight seems pleased with your understanding, telling you to go to bed.

She’s tired as well.

You let her go on first, the least you can do is to clean up.

 

You try striking a conversation with one of the guards, some distance away from the exit.

 

“So, do you like being a guard?”

“…”

“I know right? I like grapes too.”

“…”

“Dammit man, that’s deep. So how do you feel about the moon?”

“…”

“I think it’s pretty as well.”

 

The guard sighs. No quiet library tonight.

 

From the tall bookracks, a lone pony pokes her head to see you.

She is clearly an alicorn, smaller than Celestia in comparison.

Her coat is navy blue, dark like the night’s sky.

Her mane is a flowing reflection of the stars, with a faint outline of dark sky-blue colour.

Her cutie mark is a cresent moon, bathed in splotches of black.

 

She notices you talking about the moon.

 

She slowly creeps up to you, who is completely immersed in a literally one sided conversation with the guard.

You’re also on one of those library ladders, placing the heavy tome in its place.

 

“I too, think the moon is beautiful.” She whispers.

 

“What’s that Jeff?” You turn to the guard, who is trying to not stab you in the face.

The pony slowly starts to back off again, scared.

You shrug, and slide down the ladder.

You land with a successful thud on the ground, turning to face your table.

You blow the candle off, hold a book with you, which detailed the basics of magic, and you start for your room.

You could have sworn there was a patch of darkness that squirmed, you squint your eyes, trying to identify it.

 

“Jeff, is that you?” You hold out a hand.

The guard finally loses it.

“I’M NOT JEFF AND I’M OVER HERE YOU TWIT”

“Well, no need to get touchy here, Jeff.”

The guard lets out a frustrated yell and runs out.

You reach for the object once again.

You feel feathers, and then it lets out a yell.

You take the pony by its wing, and leads her to the moonlit side of the library.

It reluctantly follows you, and you get the feeling it’s staring right into your soul.

 

“Oh, Princess Luna! I’m terribly sorry.” You jump, noticing the crown.

“I hope you didn’t catch the conversation earlier.” You give out a smug expression.

“I-I did, Anon.” Luna smiles.

She seems to be avoiding your eyes, probably shy.

You kneel to her eye level.

She’s taller than most ponies, so you don’t have to go all the way.

 

You do the thing you do,

 

Hold out your hand and introduce yourself.

 

“Nice to meet you, Princess Luna, my name is Anon, as you probably know.”

“Y-Yes Anon, my s-sister t-told me about you.” She shakes it, having the shake longer than you feel comfortable.

“What brings you out here, Princess?”

“I was just reading a book, until I heard your commotion and decided to come over.”

That’s nice; at least she’s not s-s-stuttering like before.

“Really, what kind?

She blushes.

“Oh, nothing you need to bother with.”

“What? I bother with everything. And I need some company, anyway.” You wave at the Princess to lead the way, sleep can wait.

 

The Princess slowly trots back to her secluded table, hidden behind several bookracks.

There is a small, low table, with few cushions near it. There is a single, green book on the table, illuminated by a single candle.

You respectfully follow the Princess, letting her sit and resume her reading.

You draw your seat right across her, waiting patiently for her to speak.

Her cyan eyes dart through the words, glancing at you once in a while.

“Anon?” She glances at you again.

You who were bored beyond belief, started falling asleep before the Princess woke you.

 

You ass.

 

“Yes, Princess?” You straighten yourself, waiting for an order.

“C-could you help me out with something?” She stutters again.

 

This cannot possibly be good. She’s nervous to ask you for it.

 

“I’m just reading this book on how ponies interact with each other, and I was hoping you could help.”

“Shure?”

“Great! I’ll just strike a conversation with you, and you rate me on it, alright?”

“Whatever you say, Princess.”

“Please, call me Luna.”

 

Shure.

 

Luna clears her throat.

 

“Wonderful day, is it naught, Anon?”

“It is, milady.” You just go with the flow. Tap into your Joseph Decreux.

“Would thoust care for a rendezvous this lunch, say- half past twelve?”

“That would be wonderful, milady.”

 

You smile in disbelief.

 

“Uhm, Luna?”

“Right, now we need to move onto much more intimate parts and-“

“Princess?”

“I guess we could skip that part-“

“Lunaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

“Yes?”

“I think your book is outdated.”

You cross your arms, still well-mannered, through.

“Heavens no! I had it last time I was here and-“

You recall something about Nightmare Moon.

“A thousand years on the moon.” The two of you whisper.

There is an awkward silence between the two of you, until you realize you need to say something.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine- Anon- is it?”

“Yeah, glad I’m not being called the monkey or the ape or something.”

You chuckle slightly, before smirking to hold your sense of humor

 

Damn, you’re fucking funny.

 

Luna joins in a bit, before slipping into silence again.

“Hey, you know what?” You start again.

“Yes?”

“Maybe I can help you with your ‘people’ problems.”

“People?”

“Oh right, I mean pony.”

“That…” She trails off. “Might work.” She says, looking to you much more comfortably.

 

And then you realize you’re an asshole back home.

 

Not even a ‘D’ for Effort.

 

Maybe, it might work out. It can’t be that bad, teaching basic manners to an alicorn.

 

Oh yeah, the asshole thing.

 

3

 

You spend hours trying to explain to Luna that even people of power need to make the first move.

“Either that, or have them talk to you.” You finish, feeling like a teacher.

“Oh, that and people who get to you first are often the ones you won’t like.” You add.

“Didn’t you start the conversation with me?” Luna asks, bewildered.

“Uhm- yeah. To me, I started it. Wait, are you implying something?”

 

Luna shrinks.

 

“Well, no, I don’t find you appalling-if that’s what you mean- I mean I think you’re very likable- I mean-“

 

Luna gives up and slumps her head to the table.

 

“It’s alright, Luna.” You reply, smiling- unsure how to react.

 

You’re going to have a long night.

 

The sunlight brushes your face, waking you up in radiant warmth. You look around, seeing Luna sleeping across you, the bookracks, the books you’ve referenced to- oh my, you’ve been here all night.

 

“Well, well, look who is getting around.” Princess Celestia beams above you, smiling to her discovery of her new guest and her sister.

You rub your eyes lazily.

“Good morning, Princess, I was just teaching your sister several things about socializing.”

“Really? And how did it go?”

“About, *this* much.” You pinch the air, leaving a small gap.

“Well, that’s some progress, at least, Anon.”

You smile back.

You turn to Luna, who is still out cold.

“Come, Anon, let’s leave my sister be, and find ourselves some breakfast, what do you say?”

“I guess I’m pretty hungry.” You scratch the back of your head, feeling some fluff of your own hair.

 

Fuck that, you feel like a hobo.

 

“-Or, you can stay here with my sister.” Celestia gives you a playful grin.

Awesomeface.jpg

“That won’t be necessary, Princess- I had plenty of ‘time’ last night.”

Celestia’s face freezes.

“You- you win this round, Anon.” She smiles again.

You do that smug expression and double-pistol-point at her.

 

That could have turned out real bad, but being such an awesome son of a bitch you are, you make it.

Or Celestia has a sense of humor.

 

REGARDLESS, you’re still awesome.

 

You sit on the far right of the giant dining table, trying to work your way through the salad you got.

You were never much of a vegetarian, the feeling never felt great.

You pick out a piece of a carrot, staring at it, puzzled, on what the devil this might be.

Celestia must have noticed your action, she looks over to you.

“Is there something wrong, Anon?” She asks.

You realize you’ve been rude, and you straighten yourself.

“Oh, nothing- it’s fine- very lovely shade of orange, is it not?” You ask.

“Celestia nods, but she keeps her stare.

You eye her eyeing on the fork you’re holding- pickling the carrot piece.

Her eyes dart back and forth between the carrot and you.

You get the message, and eat the carrot immediately.

 

You hate carrots.

 

You chew slowly, nodding and making moans of nutritious food.

 

Badpokerface.jpg

 

Yes you did, you just smiled your carrot ridden teeth to Celestia.

Her expression is much more stiff, and you immediately close your mouth.

 

“Are you sure you should be teaching my sister basic manners?” Celestia jokes, with her playful smile again.

You’re quiet for a moment, waiting for a proper comeback from you.

“That’s one on one, Princess.” You mutter, defeated- but still good-mannered.

 

The two of you nod in mutual understanding.

 

“Forgive me, Princess, I’m not really used to eating vegetables.” You start.

“Really, then what does your kind eat?” She asks, slowly leaning.

“Well, we’re omnivores, so I enjoy both meat and –eh- vegetables. The latter, not so much.”

“Meat?” Celestia asks.

Oh boy here it comes.

 

“You’re not going to eat any of my subjects, are you?” She asks worried.

“Of course not, Princess.” You keep a straight face, finally being able to enjoy that bread and some lettuce.

Celestia lets out a sigh of relief, before you continue;

 

“Yet.” You smile, before taking sip.

 

Later, you find yourself back in your room, with Twilight.

 

“Okay.” She starts.

“I’m going to examine your physical structure.”

Whait whut.

“Oh no.” You take a step back. “You’re not touching my jimmies.”

“This is entirely academical, Anon, I just need to-“

“I am not taking my pants off, Twilight.”

Twilight pauses.

“Say, why do you have clothes on all the time?” She bobs her head to the side.

“Where I come from, everyone’s a bit ‘restrictive’ on what people see on their bodies.” You take another step back.

“I don’t understand. Anon, just hold still and-“

 

She tries to take your pants off with her magic.

 

OH NO

 

You hold onto the ends, unwilling to let a pony see your package.

“I said no, Twilight, I said-“ You stop, as you are suddenly lifted onto the air.

You see yourself covered in Twilight’s magical aura.

 

This cannot be good.

 

Slowly, you feel your shirt unbuttoning, and your pants start to feel loose.

Twilight was stripping you, and you’re just floating there.

Twilight mentions your strange usage for ‘a cloth piece on your neck’

and the existence of underwear.

 

Soon enough, you feel cold. You’re naked.

The prodding and note-taking last for a while, while you keep your tears back.

You’re being molested by a female, but this is just wrong.

Luckily, Twilight avoids your groin, which was your primary concern.

You figure a thin young adult wouldn’t have much to look at, but it goes on for a while.

Soon, you feel heavier, and you slump back to the ground.

Twilight turns from you, floating your clothes back to you.

 

“I’m done, Anon. I’ll let you dress.”

You pick your clothes out like a wildman and put them on, feeling safe again.

 

You will never live down that encounter.

 

Twilight turns again, looking through the notes she has made.

“Omnivore, male, almost tall as an alicorn, speaks relatively common Equestian, tends to cover his body…” She trails off into her notes.

“So,” You ask, feeling better already. “What did you get?”

“I listed some of your physical looks, that’s all.”

“Well, do you know how humans work in the inside?”

“Humans?”

“You know, my kind.”

“Oh!” Twilight smiles, bringing up a scapel.

“NO, not that kind, I’ve had some extensive learning with human physiology.” You stand proud of that extra Bio homework you did.

“Really?” Twilight asks, interested.

“Been a while since I had another intellect to talk to- well you know, except for the princess.” Twilight comes closer.

 

“Step into my office.” You say, leading her to the table.

 

“Right.” You start, feeling pretty empowered. “Before we start, we’re going to need a pen.”

“A pen?” Twilight asks, bringing her collection of quills and ink to the table.

“Yeah, like this one.” You say, holding up a white pen.

 

Wait. You don’t recall having a pen with you.

“Oooh, what’s that?” Twilight leans closer, taking it from you with her magic.

She tries to write with the pen, but with it cocked inside, it was impossible. Soon, Twilight got annoyed.

“Anon, how do you write with this thing?” Twilight asks.

“Esay,” You say, still wondering where the pen came from. “You just need to-“

 

You press the edge of the pen, bringing its point outside.

Twilight’s eye gleams.

“OH MY CELESTIA HOW DID YOU DO THAT?” She takes the pen, repeatedly pressing its edge.

You open the stationary, slowly showing Twilight its mechanism.

 

You get the feeling you’ve brought a new industrial era for Equestria.

 

4

 

It has been about a week and half after your accident, which led you to Equestria.

Twilight often prodded your privacy to learn more about your kind, and the expression on her face when you summarized the entire digestive track was hilarious.

Apparently, everyone thinks you’re some sort of a genius in that matter.

Celestia offered you to work as a part-time doctor, whilst getting to know the general populace.

Remembering everypony’s reaction to your incisors, you refuse.

 

So you decided to take on a hobby.

 

Every since the last time you picked out a ball point pen out of your pockets, you realized you had some degree in magic after all.

Twilight had you conjure several things, like lighters, lamps, and more pens.

You realize that you can only bring things to life if you imagined it being assembled in your mind.

You tried imagining a fetus forming out of morning boredom, and that did not end well.

 

NOT WELL.

 

You suppose you could help around in the castle, but your physical shape limited you in oh so many ways.

You still have your talks with Luna through, getting her to be more sociable, because you’re definitely the ‘social’ kind.

To be fair, Luna is the closest thing you have to a friend here, Twilight is more like a student, Celestia is more like a mother, and Jeff is just plain mean.

You would stop your random antics around her, and you tend to not blurt out random things- unlike your dinners with the rest of the loyalty.

You feel- different with that alicorn.

 

Anyway, trailing your thoughts from there, you move on to other methods to keep yourself occupied.

You try to remember high school, where you did some shit you were proud of, and many you weren’t.

You suddenly remember you used to play guitar with your friend, and why not now?

 

A guitar lands right in front of you.

 

You hold the instrument, streaking your fingertips through its strings, ready to make some noise.

 

A rational side of you still says this is all bullshit and you’re in an extended dream, but hey-

 

If you can’t avoid it, you might as well enjoy it.

 

You start to strum, humming your way to familiar songs.

 

*

 

The two men crouch over the large table, eyeing over the green and blue monitors. One is holding a cup of coffee.

“How are the life signs?” The one with the glasses asks.

“Fine, steady, and pretty much normal.” The security replies.

“Is the subject receiving the stimulation well?”

“You bet. He actually took it better than I expected.”

“But seriously.”

“What?”

“Ponies?”

“Look, it was one of the last things in his mind, and I wanted to make sure he didn’t land is some random simulation where he can’t relate at all.”

“But still…”

“Hey, it’s funny, if you think of it.”

 

“Besides, anything will comply, as long as we get results.” The scientist turns away, looking over a white room- through the glass wall.

 

The scientist sips his coffee. He looks over to a silver, oval pod, and guess who is inside?

 

That’s right, Anon, you’re the subject.

 

*

 

Words echo through your mind.

You wake up sweating, trying to cope to what the dream was about.

“Christ.” You rub your forehead, whilst trying to bring your upper torso up.

It seemed so- vivid.

 

For a second, you wonder if it is all true, is this just an illusion?

You hear your rational side of mind leap with joy.

 

It is an illusion.

 

This is not real.

 

You suddenly find the room turn white, your bed gone, the furniture gone, everything, just dissipate.

You see numerous codes over the place where your table used to be- you see codes everywhere.

You heard a faint cry of distress in the background;

 

‘The subject is rejecting the stimulation.’

‘Reject? How?’

‘It would seem he’s regaining consciousness.’

‘Goddammit, abort- get security.’

 

You stand to your feet, blinded by the room.

 

‘He’s up! Get him down!’

 

You stumble across the room, reaching the door.

You kick open what used to be the door, seeing the castle’s once vibrant corridors.

You hear footsteps to your left, and then it happens.

The illusion finally escapes, repeatedly flashing you with images of a clean, white hallway, lined with equally white doors- and more importantly, several men coming to you.

You groan and try to run, seeing the corridor flash between the castle and reality again and again.

You feel yourself getting weaker, you out stretch your arms to make an attempt.

You feel a restricting force from behind, engulfing your abdomen.

One of the guards must have grabbed you.

You flail your arm helplessly, screaming for help.

 

The corridor remains empty.

 

You are dragged into another white door, promptly seated, and a sharp pain rips through your neck.

Soon, you feel tired.

 

And darkness.

 

You soon find yourself in another white room, bound to a chair.

You notice you are now in hospital garments, and of course, white.

You scratch your head to see a scruffy man with a half-bald head.

He also has this strange blue device connected to his shaven head.

You attempt to say hello, and he does the same.

 

It’s a mirror.

 

You notice how shitty you look, you must have been out for days.

You did spend about ten days in Equestria.

You try to stand, but your dumb brain forgot to remind you that you were still bound to the chair.

 

After several hours, a knock is heard on one of the walls.

You notice that this is actually a door, and another knock follows.

The door is flung open, as you see your mother standing by the door way, happy- and a bit sad.

She throws her arms around you, and cries.

She tells you everyone thought you died.

 

You are not shocked, you did do a 360 with that car.

You want to offer some comfort to your own mother, but something keeps you from taking your eyes off your own reflection.

The person you thought to be yourself was no more.

You were broken, used, and delusional.

You are practically dead.

 

You ignore everything around you.

 

That is, until an orange blur appears next to you.

You stare at Geoff- I mean Applejack, as she happily trots next to you and smiles at you.

Twilight soon joins her, then Celestia, then Luna.

Eventually, you can see all kinds of ponies you’ve met in your trip to Equestria.

They just sit there, smiling.

 

They’re taunting you.

 

You finally lose focus and look around.

According to the small window behind you, it is night time.

Did you really phase out?

You see the ponies again.

They keep their smiles, some are at brink of laughter.

 

You start to struggle, feeling the binds on your torso and feet.

 

Time to fight Anon, time to fight.

 

5

 

All night, you struggle against the tight bond.

You know this is pointless, but something, something inside of you compels you to.

Soon, you realize it is morning.

Well, the light says so.

 

You are both physically and mentally tired, you find yourself falling into sleep once again.

 

You feel something soft?

You gasp and stand, realizing you’re back in your room in Canterlot, back in your comfortable bed.

There is a knock and Twilight enters.

 

“Morning, Anon! Ready for another day of studying?” Twilight looks to you, holding several stacks of notes and books.

“Uhm.” You grunt. “Shure?”

 

Twilight sets her things down on the table. She unrolls a scroll to reveal several sketches and drawings, from last session with you.

Seeing the notes brightens you up again, and you sit across your pupil and friend.

“So, still working on how to use the spring mechanics again?” You ask.

“Definitely! I have several ideas already!” Twilight shows you several sketches.

They are impressively detailed, each part delicately planned to be as efficient as possible.

You look to Twilight, impressed.

“You like it?” She asks, beaming.

“This is amazing, how did you get this far?” You ask, pointing to the design.

Twilight blushes, and waves you off.

Ohstopityou.jpg

“Okay, Twilight- time for the next part- gears!” You show her three interlinked cogs, fashioned from wood.

“What’s that?” Twilight asks.

“Okay, check this.” You turn one cog.

Predictably, it turns the others on the other side.

“You can use this ‘cog’ to turn things remotely.” You lecture.

You can see Twilight’s eye turns wider.

 

She is too easy to impress.

 

After your session with Twilight, you join Celestia in lunch.

“Are you alright Anon? You seem distant.” She asks.

“I’m fine, Princess- something just doesn’t feel right.” You play with your soup.

“Care to talk about it?” She asks. “Or do you want Luna for that?” Celestia gives her playful grin again.

“…That’s a tie, Princess.” You admit defeat.

The two of you have a hearty laugh.

Damn Trollestia.

 

The rest of the day goes on without problem, and you return to your bed.

As you rest your eyes, the world suddenly turns bright…

 

You awake in your chair again.

Your sad face stares at you.

You sneer, and turn away.

The room is horribly boring.

You can’t stop seeing yourself like this.

You struggle once more.

 

*

 

The two scientists look at each other.

“Face it, Paul- this experiment failed.”

“No, no, I can still salvage from this.” The man named Paul replied.

“The superintendent wants this room cleared out by day after tomorrow. You got until then.”

“Fine. I’ll have to rush some things.”

“Godspeed, Paul.”

 

*

 

You find yourself talking with the mirror again.

This room is killing you.

Then you suddenly realize it is night time again.

Little known to you, the man simply flicked the off switch.

You feel drowsy again…

 

You awake at your bed again.

No mirrors- so its fine.

You assume it is a bad dream again, but the feeling slowly creeps up to you.

“Anon, are you alright?” Luna asks, lowering her food.

“I am curious as well, Anon, are you well rested?” Celestia asks, worried as well.

You glance up to them, you feel tired.

You don’t feel like you had any sleep.

You smile weakly and resume eating.

Your eyelids feel heavier, and you simply give in.

 

You find yourself on the chair again.

No food, no ponies-

Just you.

You cough uncomfortably, trying to find a better position.

 

You rub your temples again, wondering.

“Is it a dream?” You ask yourself.

“It is, actually.” A man in a white coat comes in.

 

“You were in a simulated reality. Something I’ve been testing on, and so far I can say- it is successful.”

“What?”

“The entirety of ponies, Equestria- all place holders for a possible scenario.”

“So it wasn’t real?”

“Was I not clear?”

“Why me?”

“Well, we needed a fresh dead body, and here you are.”

“You were the one who killed me?”

“No, some drunken idiot. Luckily for you, he was smart enough to drag you to the nearest hospital, also fortunately for you- where I was hunting.”

You pause, trying to take in the story.

“You should be thankful.”

 

You shoot a glance.

 

“I saved your life. Although you are indeed medically considered dead, but here we are.”

You look at yourself on the mirror again.

“Didn’t you enjoy your time in there?”

“I… Did.” You answer.

“Wouldn’t you want to go back?”

“I wish?” You ask.

“I mean, the world thinks you’re either dead or mad. I talked with your mother.”

“Wait, where am I?”

“In a mental hospital- Just a cover for my operations.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You’ve been staring at yourself on the mirror for hours. You ignore any food that has been given to you- other than that, you sleep.”

“What food?”

“Exactly.”

You’re silent once more.

Maybe he is right, you are going nuts.

“Come.” He says, unlocking your restraints.

“Time for your lunch.”

 

The cafeteria you’ve been led into is packed to the brim with other patients.

There are few nurses and doctors shuffling about, keeping the peace.

Each patient carries their tray of food and wander about, eventually settling on a seat.

The man with you ushers you to the nearby table, and makes you sit.

“I’ll get you something to eat.” He says, motioning you to stay still.

You take the chance to look around again.

On a table next to yours, a single man sits idly.

He seems to be talking with an invisible entity.

‘Yes, I do enjoy my stay here- I’m fine, go with your mission, Shepard.’

He is nuts.

Clearly.

You see another patient who sits directly across from you, a female.

“Psst. Anon.” The patient speaks.

You look up to see girl with a long pink hair.

It reaches her shoulders, also covering half of her face.

“Wait, I-“

“No time to talk, Anon. Princess sent me to help you out. We escape tonight.”

She gives a nervous smile and walks away.

The man returns with a tray of food.

“There we go, eat up, Mr. Anonymous.”

He sits across you.

You hesitantly take the fork offered to you, and start munching away.

After you finish your satisfactory meal, you ask the man.

“So, doctor, what will happen to me now?”

“Well, we could still continue with our experiment, if you’re not too exposed- or-“

You raise a brow.

“Integrate you back to society.”

The man nods, as if correcting himself.

“What do you mean ‘exposed?” You ask.

“You see, once the illusion is gone, your mind will immediately reject it, knowing it’s false.”

You raise your brow again.

“Let me simplify it for you. Let’s say I showed you a card trick. Applause and all, but what if I already told you how it works? You’re going to be less impressed by the time I show it to you the second time. And then your impression of ‘magic’ subsequently dissipates.”

“Why don’t you try a different method?”

“Like a key to its lock, only specific methods will successfully affect your mind, fooling it. We tried forcing other methods to some patients, but that- did not turn out well.” The man’s eyes rolls to a group of huddled patients, occasionally screaming.

“Also,” He continues. “People realizing the illusion- like your case- tend to have your mind muddled with confusion; your mind will see things, for example. Like Schizophrenia, your mind will ‘bleed out’ images you are familiar with in the illusion.”

“Really?” You think back on the girl.

 

“How does it manifest?” You ask.

“Randomly. It might completely fuse with your knowledge with the world- but I warn you, ignore it.”

You nod.

“I should let you back to your room.”

You silently stand, following the man.

You soon reach your cell, sitting on your chair again.

 

“We’re clearing out the room by tomorrow. We’ll tell you what will happen, then.”

The man leaves, switching off the light.

 

The room and the hallway beyond it grows silent.

You notice the clock in your room, seeing it point 12:00 made you realize how late it was.

Suddenly, gentle footsteps are heard.

It comes closer to your room, and you can make out voices.

 

“Anonymous. I think he’s here, ladies.”

That voice-

 

So familiar.

 

The door wedges open slowly, before you hear a tomboyish voice complain and kick the door open.

You stand.

Before you stands six people, all female.

There’s the pink haired one from the cafeteria.

The one with a straight cut, long hair approaches you.

“Anon?” She asks.

“Twilight?” You respond.

You can see the purple streak on her hair now.

“It’s me, Anon- let’s get you out of here.”

“How?” You ask.

“The Princess, she followed your teleportation residue to this world.” Twilight responds.

“’ell, sugarcube, ya don’t look so well.” The blonde haired girl with a hat speaks up.

“Not so well? He looks hilarious!” The girl with a rainbow-dyed hair laughs far back.

“Nice to see you too, Applejack, Rainbow.” You take a step.

“Are you sure you can walk?” Twilight runs her eyes over you.

“Yeah, yeah- just a bit tired, that’s all.”

You follow the group, walking down an all-too-familiar hallway.

“I have to admit, darling- you look a bit drained.” The girl with long, curved, purple hair walks by you.

“That’s because he is a looney, silly!” A girl with curly bright pink hair steps up.

That’s Pinkie alright.

“A-are you alright, Anon?” The girl with face-covering pale pink hair taps your back.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Okay. If-f y-you need any help, let me know, okay?” She asks, smiling.

“Got it- and you are?”

“Fluttershy.” She shrinks a bit.

“Nice to meet you, Fluttershy.” You say holding out your hand.

Fluttershy shakes it, returning you with a shy smile.

“I’m Rarity, darling, nice to meet you- finally.” The purple haired one speaks to you, offering her hand.

“I’m-“

“Pinkie.” You reply, playfully pointing a finger at her.

“Yup! You sure are good at guessing!” She skips around.

You shake each of the Mane six’ hands, introducing each other.

You are now aware that your group is a travelling show.

Even the names…

Twilight

Applejack

Rainbow Dash

Pinkie Pie

Rarity

Fluttershy

Anonymous Nobody.

 

Not to mention all of your hair-do’s.

You were sure to attract attention

“Wait. How are we going to get out of here?” You ask, stopping Twilight.

“Oh yeah, funny you should ask.” She turns away, chuckling nervously.

 

You feel the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or a sea of troubles.

 

This is going to be a long day.

 

6

 

“When Princess Celestia sent us over, we had no idea that this world would lack in magic.” Twilight continues. “At this point- I have no clue.”

“Wait. Didn’t you hear my explanation on my world?” You step closer.

“Haha- yeah, about that.” Twilight scratches the back of her head.

“I sorta fell asleep.”

 

You get the urge to yell over her face, but ultimately, you don’t.

 

Like master like student.

 

You start to pace across the hallway.

“Come on, we need to get out of here.”

The rest follows you.

You run several plans in your head, but none of it really touches on the ‘solution’ side.

Then you stop.

A burning question runs over you.

“Hey.” You turn.

The rest freeze.

 

“How did you get those clothes?” You ask the ultimate question.

“Oh, these? We sort of landed with them.” Twilight runs her hands over her shirt.

 

Hands.

 

You shudder for some reason and continue on.

Hold a second there, Indiana Jones- you have no idea where you are heading.

“Anyone knows where the exit is?” You ask.

Fluttershy raises her hand.

“Uhm- I think I do.” She says, beaming a little.

“Alright then, let’s go.” You take her lead immediately, pacing through the hallway.

You try to move as fast as possible, whilst trying to minimize your noise.

You realize you were heading the wrong way, and the group simply turned around to move.

You sigh over the fact that you almost headed the wrong path, and pick up the pace.

You see the cafeteria you were in- Fluttershy makes few turns inside, and you blindly follow.

 

“Uhm, I think I’m lost.” Fluttershy looks about.

All groan in pain.

“Don’t worry! I’ll find a way out.” Fluttershy runs around trying to figure out which door was which.

 

You sit on a vacant seat nearby, hands on the table.

 

“Don’t worry, Anon. We’ll get out of here.” Twilight takes a seat across you.

“Keep yer head in the cloud, Anon- everythin’ tah be alright.” Applejack sits next to her.

“Yeah, I do it all the time!” Rainbow Dash jumps onto an open seat.

“Don’t be sad, just be glad-“ Pinkie starts singing.

“NO!” All shout in unison.

“Really, Pinkie- must it be now?” Rarity steps in.

You smile and try to remain optimistic.

“I got it!” Fluttershy shouts.

 

You are in another hallway- at least you think you are- all of them look alike.

Fluttershy finally makes a turn to a door, which you gladly open.

 

Freedom is delicious.

 

There is open air on your face, the night’s sky blanketing the town.

There is a small garden in front of you, and in far side of that garden a large gate.

You take a step.

Wait.

You still haven’t figured out the plan.

The door behind you slams shut.

 

“Hello, Mr. Anonymous.” A familiar voice comes from a hidden speaker.

 

You gasp is surprise and look around, to the girls- trying to read their faces.

They are just as surprised as you are.

“I think you know who I am.” The voice goes on. “I believe my suspicions are correct, you are indeed affected.”

“Affected by what?” You ask, eyes darting around the area.

 

“The melding effect.” The voice speaks.

 

You are silent.

 

“Take a look at the mirror next to you.”

You realize there is a white wall flanking your left, and a large mirror hanging on it.

You look at your decrepit self, still roughed by your capture.

And then you realize.

 

You are alone.

 

You quickly look around the white room, realizing no one’s there.

“Twilight?” You call out.

 

No answer.

 

“Fluttershy?”

 

“Anyone?”

 

You wander madly, bumping into your old chair.

 

“Welcome back to reality, Mr. Anonymous.”

 

The illusion disappears.

The garden is transformed into a sea of codes, whispering its own use.

Random white words, ordered by an unknowable code.

 

You are back in your room.

 

“Surprised? You shouldn’t be. The route you took mimicked exactly like the ones you had in this facility. Remember your first outburst? You couldn’t get far to that direction, and you were thrown into the room. The path to the cafeteria- even the wait you had- you were simply following a familiar path in your mind.”

 

You slump helplessly to the chair.

 

“You are trapped, Mr. Anonymous- and you cannot escape.”

 

You stare blankly at your own reflection.

 

“Mr. Anonymous.”

You look around.

“You are going to be disposed of, tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” You ask.

“Yes- to be precise, seven hours from now. Spend your time wisely.” There is a shake on the voice.

“Anon.” The voice goes again.

“If it will make you feel better, I could give you a few hours in Equestria- a few hours with Luna-would you like that?”

“How did you-“

“I watched your heart rate every minute, Anon. I know your feelings. Funny- how bonds form like that.”

 

You reflect- it wouldn’t hurt.

 

“I’d… like to. Hook me up.”

“Any specific time?”

“I’d like to start from where I left off.”

“Very well.”

 

You feel a trickle of tears rolling down your cheek.

The last few hours.

Better make it count.

 

You close your eyes.

“I’m ready, doc.”

“Launching is five-“

“And doc?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

 

You open your eyes again; to face the lunch you were having with the Princesses.

They notice your return and giggle to each other.

“Looks like Anon weren’t that alright.” Celestia smiles radiantly.

“Agreed, maybe he’s enjoying my night more, sister?” Luna chimes in.

You give an embarrassed smile and resume eating.

 

Only few hours to go, better make it count.

 

7

 

After the lunch, you return to your room, to meet Twilight.

“Oh hi, Anon. Ready for today’s lesson?”

“You bet! I got a bag full of things today!”

“Well, well, aren’t you perky.” Twilight smiles, and turns to the table.

You sit triumphantly, smiling.

“Is there a problem, Anon?”

“Today, we kick it up a notch.”

“Really?”

“Today- we learn about electricity.”

You bring out a light bulb, and turn it on.

The shine reflects off Twilight’s dinner plate-sized eyes.

“Let’s bring change to Equestria.” You say, still smiling.

 

After your session with Twilight, whereas she almost fainted from the excitement- you join Luna in the library for some more reading.

You find your secluded spot, with Luna already starting without you.

“Well, I figured you would ditch me.” You put your hands on your hip- still good-mannered.

“I thought you fell asleep.” She smiles, motioning you over.

You sit across the alicorn, grabbing whatever book Luna left on the table.

You flip through the pages without interest, trying come up with a decent talk.

Luna looks to you and back once in awhile, and you do the same.

 

*

 

Paul watches your action over the monitor.

“Come on, Anon- You’re not a hopeless romantic.”

A scientist comes up with a bucket of popcorn.

“Has he done something?”

“Not yet.” Paul takes the popcorn, munching with expectancy.

They are waiting for the lulz.

 

*

 

You remember you needed to make most of this situation.

“Luna…”

“Yes, Anon?”

“I- uhm- I think-“ You stutter.

Luna raises a brow.

 

“Gah, fuck it.” You throw your book upwards, and bring out a guitar.

 

A familiar strum of guitar rings out.

You ready your singing face and;

 

*You're insecure, don't know what for*

 

That’s right- One Fucking Direction.

The scientists must be splattering the walls with their laughs now.

 

*You're turning heads when you walk through the do-O-or*

 

You give the best smile to Luna.

 

*Don't need make-up - to cover up*

*Being the way that you are is eno-O-ough*

 

You turn slightly to a more comfortable side.

 

*Everyone else in the room can see it*

*Everyone else but you-ou*

*Baby you light up my world like nobody else*

*The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed*

*The way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell*

*You don't know-oh-oh*

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

 

Some ponies had gathered over the commotion.

You are attracting way too much attention.

Seemed like such a great idea.

 

*If only you saw what I could see*

*You'd understand why I want you so desperately*

*Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe*

 

You’re in your full swing.

Get ‘em, tiger.

*You don't know-oh-oh*

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

*Oh-oh*

*That's what makes you beautiful*

 

Luna starts to shift uncomfortably, a blush forming in her face.

 

*So girl come on- you got it wrong*

*To prove I'm right I put it in a so-O-ong*

*I don't know why, you're being shy*

*And turn away when I look in to your ah-ah-eyes*

 

Your gaze meets hers and she quickly looks away, with a full blown blush on her cheeks.

 

*Everyone else in the room can see it*

*Everyone else but you-ou*

*Baby you light up my world like nobody else*

*The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed*

*The way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell*

*You don't know-oh-oh*

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

 

You pause for a second.

 

*If only you saw what I could see*

*You'd understand why I want you so desperately*

*Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe*

*You don't know-oh-oh*

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

*Oh-oh*

*That's what makes you beautiful*

 

You go onto your instrumental part.

Seems like the other ponies had caught up with the song, and started to ‘na-na-na’ simultaneously.

Like a fucking Disney movie.

 

You give your best swag-face

Oh Celestia, you’re never going to live it down.

 

*Baby you light up my world like nobody else*

*The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed*

*The way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell*

*You don't know-oh-oh*

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

 

At this point, other ponies join in.

You guess they really like singing.

 

*Baby you light up my world like nobody else*

*The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed*

*The way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell*

*You don't know-oh-oh*

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

 

 

You stop by this moment, letting the ponies continue.

 

*If only you saw what I could see*

 

You take a few steps closer to Luna.

 

*You'd understand why I want you so desperately*

 

You hold out your hand to her.

 

*Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe*

 

“Luna,” You say.

 

*You don't know-oh-oh*

 

She turns to face you, still fazed.

 

*You don’t know you’re beautiful*

 

“Will you-“

 

*Oh-oh*

 

“Be my-“

 

*That's what makes you beautiful*

 

“Special some-pony?”

 

*Oh-oh*

 

Luna leans in closer.

 

*That's what makes you beautiful*

 

The two of you share a kiss.

All cheer.

End of song.

You feel the soft lips of this creature, and for that moment,

 

It is perfect.

 

*

 

The alarm rings.

Paul looks up to the time.

 

“It has been great, Anon.”

 

He sadly glances over the monitor, through the glass, to you, who is resting peacefully, mouthing out some lyrics and a smile.

 

“You magnificent bastard.” He adds.

 

Two guards enter the room.

 

*

 

You still feel the lips pushing against you.

The cheers.

Everything starts to fade away.

The noise is now muffled, and you hear a click.

 

A click of a gun.

 

You keep your eyes closed, waiting for the bullet.

 

Without hesitation, you hear a gunshot ring through the air.

 

The world is dark.

 

There is no more sound.

 

Just a vacuum.

 

But you can still feel the soft lips to you.

 

The world has stopped in its tracks.

 

The world is dark.

 

Well, you were- indeed closing your eyes.

 

And the moment is perfect.

 

Forever.