- 3
- >You can feel the brains of this creature ticking.
- >She is trying to survey and make best of the scene.
- >Just like yourself.
- >”Anon, I need to think over this issue.”
- >You are still indifferent.
- >You decide not to provoke her, and slip into silence.
- >You eventually fall asleep, out of boredom.
- >When you open your eyes, you can see few fillies running about, poking sticks at you.
- >”Wow, the monster’s awake!” One of them shouts.
- >The rest simply convenes around the jail cell door.
- >They are either annoying the hell out of you, or torturing you.
- >Both ways, they are succeeding.
- >You feel for your wrist, but there is nothing there.
- >God fucking dammit.
- >You liked kids in general, like Applebloom- who is just sweet.
- >But you go nuts if kids start running on walls.
- >You know what you mean.
- >You grunt with annoyance.
- >”Oh my Celestia, I think the monster can talk!”
- >Why must they take away your only weapon.
- >Not that you are considering to murder children.
- >Very tempting through.
- >You grab the stick.
- >You silently snap the torture device, leaving a shorter version of it.
- >You might say it is a shadow of its former self.
- >You smile in victory, and try to sleep again.
- >”Hey monster.”
- >You ignore it.
- >”Monster.”
- >”Psst. Monster.”
- >”Moooonster.”
- >Your patience is wearing thin.
- >”Hey! Monster!”
- >”Stupid monster?”
- >”Uhm, Human?”
- >”WHAT” You finally give up.
- >”Sup?”
- >You sob silently, as you bring your gun to your head.
- >Except that the gun is just your fingers.
- >Why god, why.
- >After hours of what seemed to be a mixture of verbal abuse, racial slurs and bad puns, the children leave you alone.
- >Why you had kids before coming to Equestria is beyond you.
- >Celestia pays another visit.
- >”Anon, I’ve been thinking.”
- >You stare in disbelief.
- >”Don’t give me that look.”
- >You ease up a bit.
- >”Anon, your crimes are heavy, but I can see some weight of justice in it.”
- >You like this development.
- >”Perhaps- you could be a service to this land.”
- >You raise a brow.
- >”You see, Anonymous, you could be my left hand.”
- >”Left hand?”
- >”Yes, the hand that is hidden behind my back, holding a dagger.”
- >Well, if she puts it that way.
- >”I have my own set of rules to follow, which doesn’t apply to you.”
- >”So you want me to do your dirty job?”
- >She nods.
- >You ponder this choice.
- >You don’t really have a choice to start with.
- >You nod.
- >”Excellent.” Celestia motions her guards over.
- >Soon, you’re out of that little cell, stretching your folded arms.
- >And to spice up the deal, you can feel your legs again.
- >So not all is lost.
- >Celestia lifts a tray to you.
- >It holds the mechanism that kept you alive for so long.
- >”I must ask, Anonymous.”
- >”When did you come up with such contraption?” She plays with the string.
- >She slightly eeps and backs off when the knife lunged outward.
- >You phase out again.
- >It is high school all over.
- >You nervously shuffle over the crowded corridors, holding your books ever close to you.
- >And then- there he is again.
- >He comes over to you, all arrogant and powerful.
- >But you are ready for this.
- >He had strength, but you have skill.
- >He blocks your path, and knocks you books off your hands.
- >You are now pissed.
- >Let’s just say you had to ‘cut to the chase’.
- >Funnily enough, his middle name was Chester.
- >Not sure why you found it funny.
- >You notice Celestia waving her hoof in front of your face.
- >You shake your head, and regain composure.
- >”Are you alright, Anon?”
- >”I-I-‘m fine, Princess.”
- >You turn to her.
- >”You wanted to know why I have them?”
- >”Well.”
- >”Just because.”
- >You give her a smile.
- >Celestia gradually returns it, and walks with you, to the throne room.
- >You gladly put on your gauntlets, and roll down your sleeve.
- >Feeling the sleeve tug your hands makes you feel safe.
- >Probably due to some childhood trauma.
- >”So, am I free to go?”
- >”Not yet.” Celestia sits on her throne.
- >”You’re going for a test.”
- >”Like, now?”
- >”Tonight.”
- >You couldn’t care much for the pony celebrations, and apparently, today is something called ‘The Grand Galloping Gala’.
- >For some reason, the word ‘galloping’ there just feels like a euphemism for ‘fucking’
- >Meh, fuck it.
- >You tug your white sleeves.
- >You then put on your blazer.
- >If you were going to a ball, you better dress like you are.
- >You went to several tailors today, ordering word to word on how to prepare your suit.
- >Many complained it wasn’t ‘colourful’ enough.
- >Although you didn’t want any patches or anything, Celestia insisted you had her cutie mark patch sewn across your right shoulder side.
- >You look over yourself in the mirror.
- >Not too bad, at least.
- >You push open the doors, being greeted by the Princess.
- >The two of you stop in front of the large double door.
- >”Target?” You ask.
- >”I’ve heard about a pony who is coming to try to assassinate me tonight, under some rebellious banner.”
- >”Is that all?”
- >”It is not much, and yes, I believe so.”
- >You, being the gentleman you are, go first, holding the door open for the princess.
- >”Mingle with the crowd. Try to have fun.” Celestia smile at you.
- >You are a human.
- >You tower over these ponies.
- >Oh, you are definitely going to have so much fun.
- >And you will definitely mingle.
- >You go over to the drinks, whilst Celestia greets her student, Twilight.
- >You ignore the matter, sipping on some wine.
- >”Uhm, monster?”
- >Your eyes widen.
- >NO, NOT HERE.
- >You glance over to the filly next to you.
- >You get an instant need to feel your wrist.
- >You try to ignore the children, who have rendezvoused at your location.
- >You glance over to Celestia, keeping her under your watchful eye.
- >There’s Luna with her as well, addressing her subjects.
- >And the other princess, some love pony or some sort.
- >You survey the room.
- >You notice a rather nervous stallion enter the banquet, reading a note.
- >He is sweating.
- >He’s an amateur.
- >You make your way through the crowds, slowly nearing the would-be assassin.
- >Once you’re right behind him, you can notice him trembling all over.
- >”Excuse me.” You call out.
- >He jumps, and turns to face you, shaken.
- >You kneel to level with the pony.
- >”Good to meet you sir, what might be your name?” You ask, holding out your hand.
- >The stallion glances left to right, but more leaning onto the right.
- >You follow his glance, to see another pony eyes the two of you.
- >He trots into the crowd.
- >You can see this happening.
- >You push the stallion away, and make your way to the princesses.
- >One of the children tugs at your leg, and you turn, much, much more annoyed.
- >You give the filly the stare, and effective trick Fluttershy taught you.
- >You start to backpedal, not wanting the filly to catch you off guard.
- >You can hear Celestia talking now, and you try to catch her attention by tapping her.
- >You still can’t keep your sights off the filly.
- >That evil little creature.
- >You feel a soft coat on your fingers, followed by a yelp from the goddess.
- >You turn to see your hands are on her cutie mark.
- >Realizing your misconduct, you smile and back track away, arms straight down.
- >You feel another soft brush, followed by another yelp.
- >You turn to see Luna.
- >You, feeling like a douche, back away slowly again, to feel another princess’ flank.
- >It’s like a goddamn planetary alignment right here.
- >You, completely frozen by the fact that you just ran over your fingers through the three bottoms of three leaders.
- >You turn to Celestia, seeing the pony behind her, pulling out a knife.
- >RED ALERT
- >You feel your left wrist, and run to Celestia.
- >She looks at you in surprise, still shocked by your touch.
- >”Princess! You need to-“
- >”Anon, if you have any feeling for me you just need to say it.”
- >All your wat.
- >You still see the ass-ass-in (geddit, hurrdurr) come, fully ready,
- >You go fuck all, and you trip Celestia’s front hoof.
- >She trips and falls, only to land on your arms.
- >Having her out of the way, you quickly flick your left arm at the assassin.
- >Quickly enough, he stumbles and falls.
- >Crisis averted.
- >You look down to see the alicorn all red.
- >”Princess, are you all right?”
- >The room’s chats die down.
- >You can feel the stares of the pony folk.
- >Well, the shit is now up to your neck.
- >It takes you a while to realize the effects of your actions.
- >You let out a mad smile, followed by your whisper.
- >”Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.”
- >You can see it now.
- >On the news, on the Telly, on the radio.
- >Anon, the Princess Patter, the Flank Frank, Rump Rustler, even Broom.
- >Why? Because you swept her off her feet.
- >Literally.
- >But this time, you had a just cause.
- >Not ‘just because.’
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