- 16
- >You brush the sweat off your head, and get back to work.
- >The soft tune of ‘Blue Danube’ runs in the background.
- >Right, just need to cut right there…
- >The knife goes through the flesh like butter.
- >You draw a smile on the throat, making sure to cut the arteries.
- >As blood slowly seeps out, you tie a knot around the ankles.
- >”Good morning Mr. Jonas, I think you need a- face lift- with that cut.”
- >You pull the rope, and the body slowly rises.
- >You chuckle to yourself over the joke, as the blood drains into the bucket under the body.
- >You crouch over the pale face, and ask-
- >”What’s the matter, in over your head?”
- >You hum happily, and take a sip from your drink.
- >The bitter alcohol clears your mind for a second.
- >Before it kicks in.
- >You glance over to the body, still seeing the ever-present scream.
- >”Would you like a drink? Bet you are all dried up.”
- >He doesn’t respond.
- >Of course he doesn’t.
- >You release the rope, letting the body fall.
- >You grab your work attire, a standard butcher’s covers.
- >You don’t want blood on your shoes, after all.
- >You grab the hatchet, and aim it directly on the throat.
- >You believe it was right… here.
- >You give a strong whack, and the head goes rolling.
- >You quickly grab it, you don’t want it falling over and getting stain all over the place.
- >Now, *that* would make some heads roll.
- >You place the head somewhere safe, and proceed to make a direct cut through the torso.
- >It reaches the groins, and then you form a ‘T’ around it.
- >Soon, you have the entire torso open.
- >You giddily remove the organs, and dump it into a bucket.
- >You slowly hack through the ribs, getting to the lungs and whatnot.
- >More to the bucket.
- >You then remove the bones one-by-one, and drop it into another bucket.
- >You skin the torso, and dump it in.
- >Looks like someone is thick-skinned.
- >You move on to remove the genitals, and each limbs.
- >”Hey, I could fix you up, but it might cost you an arm or a leg.”
- >The head is silent.
- >You gingerly remove all of its skins, muscles, and bones.
- >All too easy.
- >Once the body is dissected, you turn to the head.
- >You take a spoon, and plunge it into the eyesocket.
- >The eyelids back away.
- >You slowly make your way through, cutting the optic nerves.
- >”I would like to explain this, but I’m afraid you won’t see the point.”
- >You finally remove the two eyeballs, and you drop it into the bucket.
- >You then slowly peel off the skin with your hatchet, gearing the slurping noise.
- >You then remember one thing.
- >”Oh shit.”
- >You prance over to organ bucket, and fish through it.
- >The guys at McDonalds won’t be happy for this…
- >You finally find it, the digestive track.
- >”Hey, looks like you got some guts.”
- >You put on your mask, and carry the entire track to the bathroom.
- >You start with an incision over the stomach, and gently pour its contents into the toilet bowl.
- >The acid fizzles at contact.
- >What did this guy eat?
- >You empty the stomach, squeezing out every bit of acid.
- >They really, really burn.
- >You then plop the stomach to the ground, and pick up the lower intestine.
- >You cut open the rectum, and slowly squeeze out the fecal matter.
- >God you hated this part.
- >It was… Full of shit.
- >You flush once in a while, ensuring it is empty.
- >You drag the organs back to your workbench and drop it into the organ bucket.
- >Now, where were you…
- >Ah, that’s right.
- >You finally skin the head off, not forgetting to remove the muscles too.
- >The jaw falls soon enough, and you drop it into the bones bucket.
- >You then crack open the skull, seeing the crown piece, the brain.
- >You remove the brain, and look over it.
- >”Man, you really were smart, weren’t you?”
- >You drop the brain into the organ bucket.
- >You take the blood, and slowly pour it into the shower drain.
- >You don’t forget to leave it on first, you don’t want a stain.
- >Once the bucket is cleared, you drop it and move on.
- >You knock on the door, and a man answers.
- >You smile and pass him the organ bucket.
- >”Enjoy.” You grin.
- >He barely holds onto his dinner as he receives the bucket.
- >As you close the door, you can hear him hurl.
- >At least that would add the taste.
- >Must be new here.
- >You go over the bones bucket, lift it, and go to the door again.
- >After three knocks, another man answers it.
- >He has a similar expression, as he receives the bucket.
- >Poor sods.
- >You remove your work clothes, the attire that quite literally covered you head to toe.
- >You then walk out, whistling.
- >You had a date to catch.
- >Luna snuck behind the man, holding her weapon steady.
- >She quickly came up to the soldier, and drew her knife.
- >In a quick stab, she ends his life.
- >”Ha- ha!” She laughs into the small apparatus, before looking around.
- >A bullet penetrates her head, and the counter goes on.
- >She clenches her teeth, and holds onto the controller harder.
- >”You will let me win!” She orders.
- >”Fuck off, homo.” The other replies.
- >”Oh my god, you’re a girl?!”
- >”LET ME PROTECT YOU”
- >”Fuck off; there are no girls in the internet.”
- >”Bet you’re still sprouting nut hairs, eh, kid?”
- >Luna blinks.
- >Soon, she is swarmed by tens of ‘helpful’ players.
- >’Uhm, I am indeed a woman.” Luna whispers into the mic, as she glanced at her chest.
- >She never got used to that.
- >She then looked over, and saw a sea of friend requests.
- >She pondered for a second, considering each of them.
- >”Honey, I’m home.” You shout, opening the door.
- >Luna drops her controller and looks to you.
- >You smile and place your hands on your hips.
- >”Have you been playing Halo: Reach again?”
- >”Maybe.”
- >”Oh you.”
- >You slowly lift your knife, and chop away.
- >You hum happily, as the fresh sound of hard flesh breaks under the knife.
- >You then continue on downwards, as you dice the carrot.
- >You lift the cutting board, and drop its contents into a pot.
- >The water is boiling already.
- >You take some onions, and bite onto a stick of gum.
- >You chew, and you viciously tear it apart and feed it into the pot.
- >Who doesn’t like onions, anyway?
- >You drop in more vegetables, and spices.
- >You loved stew night.
- >Even if you had no meat.
- >Thanks to Luna, you have adapted to a more- vegetarian way.
- >It’s a good thing she doesn’t know pastry is made from eggs- i.e. meat.
- >Well, sort of a meat.
- >A pair of arms wraps you from the back, as she rests her head on your shoulder.
- >”Stew night again?”
- >”Yep.”
- >”We forgot to do groceries again, haven’t we?”
- >”Probably.”
- >You come over and drop the pot on the middle of the table.
- >”Eat up.” You say, grabbing a spoon.
- >Luna looks over the mixture, and pokes it with a fork.
- >”Uhm, Anon?”
- >”Yes, milady?”
- >”Why did you drop apples in there?”
- >Your eyes go wide and look over the pan.
- >Well, fuck me.
- >”Dinner outside?”
- >”I’ll get my wallet.”
- >The two of you hurry the evening path, as the cold wind of fall blows over the two of you.
- >Luna holds her coat close, while you put your hands in your pocket.
- >Then, you see movement in the corner of your eyes.
- >”Luna.” You call.
- >”Oh no.” She knows what this means.
- >”LUNA MY WAIFU”
- >Fucking Bronies.
- >As the neckbeard scrambles over to the po- person, you walk up and sock the fucker in the face.
- >”Anon-“
- >”No need to tell me, RUN!”
- >The two of you run through the sidewalks, as a horde of fat, lifeless nerds converge upon the two of you.
- >You feel for your wrist again.
- >Luna leads you into the park, and you gladly follow.
- >A car nearly hits her, but she jumps, lifts her legs and slides on its hood.
- >You do the same, ignoring the angry shouts of the driver.
- >One of the idiots tries doing the same, before ramming straight into the car.
- >The driver screams in surprise, as fat autists surround him, and then go away.
- >You snicker.
- >”Bet we’re giving them more exercise in a year, huh?”
- >”You too, Anon!”
- >You smile, before running past her.
- >She tries to hold you back with her hand, and successfully grabs your arm.
- >You were totally unprepared for this, and you lose your balance.
- >Luna, who shifted her balance onto the grapple, loses her balance as well.
- >The two of you fall together, rolling in the dried leaves.
- >You try to take in as much as impact as you can, holding her close.
- >She’s laughing heartily, holding you tight as well.
- >The roll ends with you on the bottom, having Luna staring you down.
- >She playfully bites her lip, before slowly diving in.
- >As the two of you kiss, you hear one of the bronies comes charging at you.
- >You deliver a kick to his groin, quite literally bringing the man down.
- >You then continue the embrace, enjoying it a little too much.
- >When you finish, you look into her deep emerald eyes, before noticing the wall of fat around you.
- >”Now, I’ll finally know what it feels like to touch her mane.”
- >One of the creepers licks his lips.
- >You feel for your wrist, and draw up a scalpel.
- >Luna notices, and shakes her head, cringing.
- >You roll your eyes in annoyance.
- >Suddenly, one of the men grabs Luna by her abdomen, hoisting her up and locked.
- >OH
- >THEY
- >JUST
- >DID
- >NOT
- >You jump to your feet, delivering a fist to the nearest idiot.
- >You quickly turn and round-house kick the shortest one in the head.
- >You swing your fist backwards hitting the idiot charging at you.
- >His head flicks backwards, and his legs kick up.
- >He falls to the ground, to be met by your foot.
- >You charge to the asshole holding Luna, until the last one blocks you.
- >You jump, running over his nicely-leveled body.
- >With a final step on his face and glasses, you jump.
- >You arc over the brony, and as you landed, you grabbed his head.
- >He is forced to the ground with you, and he lands with a loud crack.
- >His grip loosens, and he goes limp.
- >Serves him right.
- >You look to Luna, who is dusting off cheetos debris off her clothes and hair.
- >She stares at you, and you shrug, smiling sheepishly.
- >She shoots another playful glance, and runs past you, not forgetting to push you a bit.
- >You stagger, before following her, laughing.
- >Laughing.
- >Been a while since you did something like that.
- >”So, I know this girl, and I want her to get close to me, what do?”
- >The man breathes heavily and quickly, and tries talking through his duct tape.
- >”You’re right, I should just tell her how I feel, right?”
- >He looks to you in confusion.
- >You spin the knife in your fingers, before bringing it down on one of his finger.
- >He screams, and you lift his finger.
- >”Yeah, I should just go ‘index’ (in there)”
- >You throw the finger away.
- >”Oh, and also, the boss wants to know the code, that too.”
- >He pauses, and looks to his finger.
- >”I’m glad we had this talk.” You smile, lighting a cigar.
- >”Oh! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t smoke.”
- >You take the cigarette and twiddle it between your middle and index finger.
- >”Luna hates the smell, what can I say?”
- >You duck and match eye level with the man.
- >”But not you.”
- >You stick the lighted cigar on the bloody stump on his fingers, and the flesh sizzles.
- >He writhes in agony, and lets out muffled screams.
- >”Come on! You’re hot now.”
- >You drop the cigar, and step on it.
- >”You have fun now.” You wave, as you leave.
- >Two men take you place, each holding a knife.
- >Ho boy, not the twins.
- >You walk past the silent guards, and exit the warehouse.
- >You hail a cab, and go home.
- >Luna squinted her eyes in determination.
- >She then gently squeezed the frosting bag, slowly dressing the cake.
- >Guess the Internet was good for one thing, after all.
- >Even with these pictures of ‘Rule 34’.
- >Anon told her to stay away from 4chan, but hey, she got curious.
- >She wanted to make this day the very best…
- >She even got hints from this ‘video’ website called Redtube.
- >Those humans really knew their thing!
- >Some said it was ‘porn’?
- >She didn’t get humans at all.
- >Anonymous came home, just in time, holding a small plastic bag.
- >”Hey! What you got there?” He asks, smiling cheerfully.
- >Luna smiles, and hands you the small cake.
- >She misspelled ‘like’.
- >”Uh, Luna, what is this word?” You say, pointing at the word in the middle.
- >She squirms a little, taking off her apron.
- >Why on earth was she in bathrobes?
- >She set you down on the table, several dishes already prepared.
- >”I know how hard you work every day, Anon, so I made a surprise for you!”
- >You smile.
- >God, that is cute.
- >She sits next to you, eyeing you carefully, as you slowly take the food.
- >”I have to admit, you really- WOAH.”
- >You feel a brush on your groin.
- >You stare her down, with a look that says ‘what the fuck’.
- >She smiles, and slowly removes her clothes.
- >WAIT WHUT
- >”Luna.”
- >She is giving you the bedroom eyes, and she cocks her head to the left a little.
- >”Luna.”
- >God, who writes this shit- this can only be porn.
- >Only thing you needed now was-
- >”Wait, I forgot something!”
- >She puts on a delivery boy cap on your head.
- >Yep.
- >”Now, we’re ready.”
- >”Luna.” You say, stopping her.
- >She is bewildered, staring at you in confusion.
- >”Did you watch porn?”
- >She breaks her eye contact.
- >”Maaaayyyybbbeee?”
- >You shoot her a look of disapproval.
- >”Luna, you do know that is-“
- >You lean in and whisper.
- >She gasps, and her cheeks turn red.
- >You lean away, not impressed.
- >Then she comes up and puts her arms around your neck, her face only an inch away from you.
- >”I know.” She whispers.
- [NO I’M NOT WRITING PORN.]
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