Merry Christmas, /mlp/.

>There's a knock on the door.

"Yeah... hold on."

>Christ, this place is a pigsty. When's the last time I cleaned up. Used clothes everywhere. Dirty dishes on the table, the sink's full to the brim. Maybe I should tidy up once in a while... Nah. No one ever visits anyway.

>Knock.

"Yeah, yeah hold your horses..."

>Stupid doorknob, won't even budge. Being unused most of the time does that to you. Sigh.

>Creak.

>Finally managed to open the damn thing.

"Hey, /mlp/."

>Oh great it's /k/.

"Sup..."

>I can guess why he's here though. And frankly, I'm not too excited about.

"The rest of the guys are having a Christmas party by /tg/'s pad somewhere around 6. Just thought you should give you a head's up."

>Good old, /k/. The guys likes weapons and things that kill shit but he's a pretty nice guy. He doesn't hate me as much as the others. The two of us aren't close or anything though. I think he just tolerates my existence. That's enough for me really. Nice of him to even bother to come here and invite me.

"Thanks. I'll think about it..."

"So yeah. I'll catch you later maybe. Merry Christmas."

"...Yeah. You too..."

>/k/ went on his way. I close the door and return back to my computer. My only best friend. My computer. Second only to my fridge, which holds numerous amounts of liquor. I spend most of my nights drinking and browsing. Alone. Though I prefer it that way.

>There was an episode last few days ago but I can't seem to care today really. Even though season 4 just started. It's Christmas. And I'm here in this dark room spending it with a bottle of beer in my hand in front of my computer.

>Sigh. Maybe I should go to that party.

 

>What to wear... The same as always, I guess. Hoodie, fedora, the usual. I'll just take the subtle pony shirts lying around, the others already think of me weird enough as it is. Last check before I head out. A few pocket money. Apartment keys. Cellphone. Yeah, that's enough. Let's get out of here.

>Fuck it's snowing. I hate winter. It's too cold. I wish I had a pony to snuggle with. But I guess this is may better than summer. I swear the last time dragged on forever, thought it wouldn't end.

>So /tg/'s place huh? Turn right from here. By this broken lamppost, the garbage piling around the corner, and all these fucking flyers cluttering up the place. Goddamn how I wish the mods and janitors would just do their job. Even once in a while.

>Aaaand here we are, /tg/'s pad. The place is all lit up from the dragon shaped lanterns and torch-wielding lawn dwarves. Festive little fucker. I envy him though. Everyone likes him even if his interests are a little way too nerdy. I can here the music from across the block, you geek. The least you can do is turn it down.

>And here we are. The greatest enemy I always face. The front door. Meh whatever.

>Knock knock

"Yeah yeah... no, I'll get it, haha..."

>Sounds like /g/.

"Welcome! Merry-...oh. Well, Merry Christmas.../mlp/."

>Lost his smile as soon as he saw me. Still haven't lost my touch, I see.

"Sup, /g/"

"Yeah... sup."

>I can practically here the crickets chirp. This is getting awkward. Then again, it's not like I know /g/ anyway. Haven't really talked to the guy.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh. Um. Yeah. Sure."

"Cool..."

>Sigh.

>Let's get this over with.

 

>And here we are. Just as soon as I entered, everybody, who was previously having fun chatting around, drinking chilling, as soon as they saw me, their mood soured.

"Oh great, it's /mlp/..."

"Who invited her?"

>I can hear your 'whispers', you chucklefucks. Don't bother on my behalf, I'll just head straight to the wall on the far side of the room.

>Oh great, look who's coming. It's /tg/. He's an alright guy. Still don't want him coming over talking to me though. It's more of for his sake, not mine.

"Glad you could make it, /mlp/."

>Your voice is bland and soulless. You're not really glad at all aren't you? I guess it's customary to greet your guests in a party. /tg/ is a bit of a traditionalist.

"Yeah, had nothing better to do."

>I guess that sentence was a little rude. I should have thought more about what I say. Christ, my social interaction skills has deteriorated greatly. Mostly from lack of practice I guess.

"The food and drink are over yonder. You know where the bathrooms are. Just help yourselves, yeah?"

>He's too polite.

"Yeah got it. Thanks."

"So there. Hey, have fun alright."

"Yeah."

>Great, nice talking to you.

"Oh one more thing."

>What now? There's more?

"Merry Christmas, /mlp/."

>He's now giving me his warmest smile. It's nice but I can see through it's repetitions. Bet he's being polite to everyone. Maybe that's why everybody likes him.

"Yeah...Sure."

>And now he's gone of to mingle again. I can see the others whisper behind /tg/'s back. You stupid fucker. I know you're being a kind host and all but really, just leave me alone. It's better off for you.

 

>The snack bar. The finger foods and punch galore. Nothing really catches my fancy though save for them bottles of beers by the corner. It's the cheap stuff, not really the kind I'm used to but it'll do.

>Standing by the wall alone, bottle in my hand. Yeah. A party animal is you.

>The others have gone back to their previous interactions now that I have successfully integrated with the woodwork. /a/ and /v/ are over by the couch arguing again. From an outsiders viewpoint, you'd think they'd be the worst of enemies just yearning to tear each others guts. But nah, everybody knows they have a thing for each other. It's just how /v/ expresses hos feeling, I guess. Through mindless rage. He does get pissed off at me a lot though. But I know where his heart truly lies though. Alongside /a/ murdering her with his words.

>Oh look, by the TV, it's our good friend /b/ and /pol/ having a friendly conversation and respecting each other's opinions, treating each with utmost importance. I was being sarcastic of course. /b/ is his usual nonsensical edgy self again. Shame really. He was used to be such a fun guy. I wonder what happened. /pol/ is acting over the top. Nothing new there. I wouldn't call him a friend but I've talked to him a few times. I guess he's more of an acquaintance really. If acquaintances shoved radical views down each others throats.

>I can see /k/ from here. He's with his usual clique. /ck/, /an/, /out. The friendly bunch. And of course, my brother.

 

>They're alright. Most of the people likes them. /tg/ should be with them if he wasn't so busy mingling around everywhere. I'm kinda jealous of /out/. He just moved into town and people already like him. /ck/ and /an/ are genuinely nice girls. They aren't some backstabbing bitches that will slice you from behind as soon as you turn their back on them. /ck/ has given you some brownies once. It was pretty tasty even if I hate brownies with an undying passion.

>Sip. God this beer sucks.

>And of course, there he is. My big brother /co/. Currently laughing at some joke /k/ told. All the others hate you, mindlessly even. But for brother, it was much deeper. It was disappointment. To his little sister. You'd think it would hurt a lot less since he doesn't directly say hurtful things to your face but trust me, it burns like shit. But seeing him there. All happy. Yeah, I envy him, wish I had someone to talk to like he does.

>Sip.

>Oh fuck. And he just noticed me. Fuck this shit. I was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. He's waving to his clique saying he'll be right back or some shit. No retard, don't come any closer. Get back to where you belong. Turn around.

>Too late.

"Hey sis."

"Hey... bro."

>And here he is. With his usual forced sympathetic voice he only wears around me.

"Glad to see you actually come and not spending Christmas on your room."

"Yeah... I was bored."

"...So how are you these past few months?"

>We're siblings. Yet we really haven't talked for, what, 5 or 6 months?

"...Same old..."

"So ugh, still watching that show... the one you used to like?"

 

>Fucker doesn't even want to mention it by name.

"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?"

>I saw his eye twitch slightly. I just take a sip in response.

"Yeah. That."

>That.

>That?

"How has it been lately?"

>You don't really care do you. Sigh. We're siblings. Brother and sister and here we are making small talk in a Christmas party like newly acquainted strangers. If I'm being honest, I'll say it hurts. It hurts a lot. More than what all the other boards think of me combined.

"...Season 4 just came out."

>Sip.

"Oh."

>I can feel his disappointment crawling from his mouth and scraping my ear.

"So I'm guessing you're still in to it then?"

>I take a sip.

>Here it comes.

>Wait for it.

"Yes."

"I see."

>And there it is. His night. Ruined. I can practically his heart shatter in front of me. It's not like I want to ruin his night though. I want him to enjoy the party. I really do. I just answered truthfully. Sorry, brother.

"Yeah, hey /ck/ and the others over there. Why don't you join me? You of course know /ck/ don't you?"

>He pities me so much. It's really painful. Here I am, on a Christmas party trying my hardest not to cry just because I'm talking to my brother for the first time in a few months.

"No. I'm alright here. You go on ahead."

>Yeah, please do. It's better for you.

"You sure?"

>Yes I'm sure you fucker.

"Yes. I'm sure."

>He sniffs a bit.

"Yeah, alight, I'll just be there if you need me."

>Good.

"Yeah got it."

"Oh, and sis..."

>More?

"Merry Christmas."

>His tone is gloomy but sincere.

"Yeah... sure."

 

>Look at him. Prancing back to his circle of friends. Pretending everything is alright. Lying like a sack of shit to his friends. And just as usual, I envy him. He has friends to even lie to. Christ, my view is getting watery. It's not like I hate everything. It's not like don't want to be friends with anybody. Actually when I first came here, that's one of the first things I tried to do. Make some friends. But I guess, looking back, I kinda rushed it. Kinda went up to everyone's face. But I was way more cheerful back then. I remember being really optimistic and fun-loving. And naive. Thought that a colorful kids show talking about friendship is sure to be a hit and would at least get me some friends I can talk to about it. Guess not. And as one can probably guess, everyone hated me for it. Others treated me with awkward smiles and small talk. Others were outright disgusted. And worst of all, my brother.

>Sip.

>My view is now really watery

>And now here I am. Alone. On a Christmas party. Cynical and dejected. Nowadays, I don't even bother talking to people anymore now that everybody has established their viewpoint on me. I can no longer change it even if I try so why bother really... Let everyone hate me. At least everyone has a common thing to hate. Even now I can feel their subtle glances catching a glimpse on me and talking behind my back. I guess I'm too thick-skinned now to even care.

>Sigh.

>I down the last few drops of beer I have left in the bottle in my hand. Tch. Can't even feel the alcohol. I've been so used to drinking.

>Sigh.

>I wish I was in Equestria playing with ponies.

>The music is too loud.

>My feet hurt.

>I'm hungry.

>Aaaand here comes /s4s/.

 

>Wearing this retarded lampshade on his head, drunkenly staggering over to me. He's been hit. Bad. I can smell the alcohol a mile away. But really though, who can get drunk on this cheap stuff.

"HEY! /mlp/! What'ssss up?! Great night, huh?!"

>His voice is so loud it's now attracting everyone's attention. But I don't really care though.

"Sup, /s4s/."

>I guess I can say he's the only person closest akin to a friend to me. Even if that closeness comes from sheer stupidity and immaturity. He can be obnoxious at times. But it's cool, I guess. I'm not really in a position to complain.

>He's being even more obnoxious this night. I guess it's all the alcohol.

"HOLY SHIT! ISN'T THIS PARTY BANGING!?"

>/co/ and company are taking a glance. Actually, everyone on the fucking room is concentrating on us pretty badly.

"You're drunk."

"I KNOW! Isn't IT COOL. I have preshent fer you. -hic- Kinda worried though. Thought you wouldn't even bother showin yer fucking face. HAHA!"

>I'm taken back a bit. A present. Even if it's from /s4s/...

"Here!"

>He reaches for his pockets and takes out a smushed foil package what appears to be of a cheap shit cupcake. Topkek it reads on the label.

>Typical /s4s/. It lifts my spirits up a bit.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS /mlp/!!"

>He just has to say it, in the loudest most obnoxious tone a person could ever muster. What a faggot. You laugh a bit on the inside though.

"Yeah. Merry-"

"...Ha. /s4s/ and /mlp/ the two most autistic people here mingling with each other. How fitting..."

>What?

"...At least she doesn't look as pathetic as before..."

>These fuckers! I can hear them! I can fucking hear them! Every single one of their goddamn words!

>Fuck this, the tears are gonna fall. Fuck this party. Fuck everyone here. Fuck my fucking worthless life. I just bolt straight for the door. Everyone watching.

>Finally, the outside. The sky's devoid of clouds, as clear and calm as the most tranquil of springs. End yet. It's raining. Pretty badly.

"Hey wait up!"

>Sounds like /s4s/

"Go away..."

>Pathetic. I can't even bother raising my voice or even getting angry. I just feel more dead on the inside.

"What happened? You're ditching the party?"

>Seems like he's sobering up. Then again, who wouldn't.

"Weren't you paying attention? Besides, no one even wants me there anyway."

>He just snickers.

"So am I! Everybody hates me too. But you don't see me being a pussy about it?"

>Same old blunt insensitive /s4s/. I'm a bit releaved actually.

"Come on, is that the /mlp/ I used to know. The one who can take any shit thrown at her?"

>Sigh.

"Just because I can take it doesn't mean I enjoy it."

"But that's the thing about you, you can roll with the punches. You're not some stick in the mud like /lit/. I can fucking call you a horsefucker right now and you wouldn't even care."

>Please just leave me alone.

"You don't realize how much it piles up do you? I'm still a human being..."

>Please.

"Look, I wouldn't want to spoil your night. The party's still going on and the night's still young, go have some fun. I'm alright by myself."

"Ha! Says the bitch with a bursting dam eyes and dripping nose."

>Still as brash as always.

>I quickly wipe my eyes and nose.

"I'm alright. Really."

>Just please leave me be.

"Please."

>He stops for a while. He just sighs.

"Fine, if you say so... You sure about yourself right?"

"Yeah..."

>I sniff.

"Well alright then. Merry Christmas, /mlp/."

>I don't honestly care anymore.

"Yeah... sure"

>He just returns inside still fumbling in his steps. That's best for him though. I don't want to spoil anyone's fun. I prepare to take the long walk home.

"Still pretending to act tough I see, sis."

>A voice calls out in the darkness.

 

"You alright, sis?"

"...I'm going home."

"...No talk back? No boiling hatred reaction?"

"I just don't care anymore..."

>I really don't.

"I see you've changed."

"...Whatever..."

"Look, I know I'm not really in place to comfort you. I know we've drifted apart these past few years... You're annoying. You get up to everyone's face, force feeding us shit. You're hard to please. You're socially awkward."

>Gee, thanks for pointing out the obvious. I feel all fucking better now that my faults are blatantly slapping me in the face.

"And to top if all off, you masturbate to some pretty weird shit."

>Ok, that last one was pretty funny.

"But you have your points."

>This I gotta here.

"Like what?"

"Um. Well..."

>He drifts off. Figures. I'm going home.

"Hold on, wait. I'm not really good with words. I just read comics and watch cartoons, you know? Just, don't let it get to you, you know? It is Christmas after all. I think. Yeah."

>His comforting talk is awkward and poorly done. But he's not wearing his disappointed tone anymore. Well for now at least. And I can feel his sincerity in trying. That's a good thing, I guess. And honestly, it feels alleviating. It doesn't exactly lift me to high shit or anything but it's an improvement.

>A small smile slowly perks up. He doesn't notice though, thankfully.

"You suck at comforting people."

"Shut up. Fuck you."

>Heh. Now get back inside.

"Whatever, I'm still leaving. Why don't you return."

"I feel like I can't leave you alone but I know you. I'm going back now."

>Finally

"Hey. Merry Christmas again, sis."

>...

"Yeah. Sure."

 

>I suppose I should head home then. What's another Christmas all alone.

>Shame I feel like this. The street lights look really beautiful this time around.

>...

>I'm hungry.

>I should stop by somewhere and have something to eat. The first thing should suffice, I don't particularly care one way or another. I guess there's a place a few more steps down this block. Can't really remember.

>Great. It just had to be McDonalds. Well whatever.

"Thank you, and welcome to McDonalds"

>That greeting feels so forced and life less. Still, who can blame her. Working on a holiday. On something as pristine as fastfood no less.

"I'll just have a large fries. To go."

"One large fries coming up."

>She says with a frank little smile in the most cheerful tone left she has available. Which isn't really much.

>She tries. It's not really spreading any Christmas cheer or anything but she tries, nonetheless.

>I pay whatever. She hands me whatever. I don't even bother counting my change. She could keep the whole thing and I wouldn't give a damn. Actually, even if a robber just straight up busted in here with a loaded gun, I still wouldn't give a damn. Even if shot everyone else here, including me. But I digress. That would've been a truly wonderful Christmas gift. Something I'm not worthy for.

>I took my fries and headed for the door.

"Thank you for coming to McDonalds. Merry Christmas."

>She tries.

>I don't even respond anymore.

>It tastes stale and salty. Perfect. I should find a place to eat this. I guess the park is still open so why not.

 

>At least the park's open.

>I went inside and wandered around. This place is so peaceful. Even more so now that everyone is spending Christmas elsewhere.

>And here we go, a lonely park bench lit by a rusting streetlight. I just plop down and began eating. It really is better here when there's no one around to hear your sobbing. But I digress.

>I wonder how EqD's doing now. Fucker got his head inflated when he got popular in the fandom. Can't stand the guy anymore. But he's not exactly the self loathing friendless type. Even if all his so-called friends are autistic neckbearded bronies. It's one of two things, either he's all alone right now jacking of to his Trixie plushie or out having a Christmas party with all the other retards. It's probably the former though.

>I wonder if brother's having fun. Shit, I spoiled the mood back there. Sorry bro. I promised myself I wouldn't stand out. Did /mu/ break out his albums? Was /ic/ doing those annoying elitist talks again? /r9k/ feeling all mopey again? But I wonder if /r9k/ felt like this. Like how I feel now. At least the others even talk to him, even if just marginally. I can't even have a proper conversation with anyone these days.

>I feel so empty inside having no one to talk to. Even my brother. Especially my brother. But I guess it was my fault. I did brought this upon myself. Now everyone hates me for it.

>I appreciate the irony though. I don't have any friends all because of a show about friendship.

>And great, the light's flickering. Even the very infrastructure can handle my mere presence.

>And we finally get to the highlight of my Christmas holiday, the highest point I can hope to achieve: eating fastfood fries in an empty park bench under a flickering street lamp. It was a picture to remember. I would ingrain this scene in my mind, everything I could see would stop being so watery. Stupid rain.

>I'm going home. I need to find a rope.

 

>I walked out of the park and headed the long trek back. I just flailed the last few pieces for fries down a trash bin, can't even finish the damn thing.

>The city is so festive. The buildings are really nice. They are properly decorated, properly lit up from their Christmas lights. There weren't many cars passing by, the few that do are driving in an idle pace. I guess they're the same as me, aimless and empty as ever. The night breeze is so refreshing, it feels cool and comforting on my wet cheeks. And the stars are as bright as ever. Luna really outdone herself today. ...I should stop doing that. That's exactly why people hate me. But whatever, it probably won't matter anyway.

>And after a few minutes of walking, I finally reach this place. Home. Is where the heart is as people say. Yeah, people are idiots. The key went in smoothly and the doorknob turned without much of a fight. Thanks, door.

>I turn on the lights. I'm greeted with a full view of my living conditions. The place is cluttered. There's drawings and stories everywhere. Just scattered about, covering every inch of this place. .There's even storyboards and animation sketches for that flash animation I was doing way back but never got around to finishing. And that notebook by the sink, filled with codes and sketches of fight scene from that cancelled pony fighting game I never got around to finishing. I can clearly see the lyrics to those all those music I made written on my walls with a sharpie from when I ran out of paper and I must write it down before it all left me. My clothes just littered everywhere along with empty boxes of Chinese and pizza takeouts. Christ, this all too sad.

>I hurried to where I keep the utility things. Stuff I don't touch really.

 

>By the closet, boxes of junk. Or junk by my standards at least. Things that any normlperson would find useful. Well, whatever.

>I started rummaging to see what's inside.Hmmm. Letsee. Wrench. Hammer. Screwdrivers. A hacksaw? Why do I even have this stuff anyway. Where's the rope? You'd think I'd hove some tools around but not some simple stuff to tie stuff with? Is there more... A flyswatter? Really?

>Let's check another box. Oh. Christmas decorations huh. I bought these just a few days ago. Never got around to hanging these. But why bother really, who's gonna see them but me. Sigh. Hey what's this? A long coiled thread of Christmas lights. How morbidly fitting. Hmm. Seems strong enough. I tug at the two sides just to double check. Yeah, that'll do. I stood up and headed for the ceiling fan. I tied one end into a noose. I tug gently just to test if it wilI work. Yeah, that'll do. I measure out a good length of it made sure it was much less than the distance between my neck and the fan. And that's it then. Good to go, I guess.

>I need a chair. The kitchen has one though. I guess I should grab a drink before anything else though. Wouldn't want to miss it's taste.

>What's in the fridge. Beer. Same as always. I really should've bought something classy from time to time. You know. For special occasions. I pop at top and drink alone in the darkness.

>Getting drunk on a Christmas night. This would pretty nice if I weren't doing it alone. The cold liquid on my lips is refreshing. I'm going to miss this feeling when I'm in... well wherever it is I will go. I raise my bottle in the darkness.

"Here's hoping I'm heading to Equestria then..."

>I down it. One bottle's enough. I don't want to pass out before I actually do it though. I took the chair, brought it to the living room and prepared, the Christmas lights.

>Knock knock.

>Sigh. What now?

 

>Fine let's answers this.

>I trudge again through the ocean of papers that is my floor. And here we go. ...Stupid door.

>There we go.

"...yeah?"

"Merry Christmas, /mlp/!"

>It was /c/.

"Yeah... sure."

>Still looking as cheerful as ever I see. Where's you sister? /a/ would have a fit if she knew you were here.

"Still busy setting up the Christmas decorations, I see. It's never too late to enjoy a little bit of holiday spirit!"

>What?

>Oh. She saw what's in my arm. This bundle of lights coiled around.

"...This? This really isn't..."

>She doesn't even understand the noose sticking around from there. She just stands there with the dopey looking airheaded smile. She's so naive.

"...ugh. Nevermind."

>Sigh.

>I shouldn't bother explaining things to her.

"...So what do you want?"

>I noticed her taken back. Guess it's my dull lifeless tone.

"U-um. Well I'm giving out Christmas cards. You left early in the party so I couldn't give you yours. Here you go."

>She's handing this plain looking piece of paper stapled to a picture of that squid girl anime. Behind the 'card' is hastily scribbled and reads:

"Merry Christmas /mlp/! de geso."

"...What's this?"

"It's your card!"

>She says with a smile and twinkle in her eye.

>I can see that but what the hell are you giving me?

"...I can see that but..."

"...But what?"

>...

>Sigh.

"Never mind..."

>Whatever. Thanks though.

"...Thank you."

>I mean it really. Even if my dull facial expression and my deadpan voice would say otherwise.

"You're welcome. Then I have to get home. Sis is already against me visiting you."

>So /a/ knew huh.

"Yeah go on ahead."

>She leaves with a skip on her step. She's so happy and innocent. She reminds me of myself when I first moved here. Brother was right. I really have changed.

>She calls out from the darkness.

"Merry Christmas, again /mlp/."

"...S-sure..."

>Sad. I can't even bother a making decent reply.

 

>I take another look at this 'card'. The more I look at it the funnier it gets. I don't know why. It's just a typical picture of that squid girl. It's not bad though. It's a bit cute.

>Sigh.

>Typical /c/.

"Heh."

>Ponies are way cuter though. Hmm. Where's that cute image folder I have lying around? Probably somewhere by the couch. I toss the Christmas lights on couch and begin trawling around the close vicinity on the floor. Fuck come on! Where is it?! I should really clean up this place...

"Aha! Here it is! My cute folder!"

>I accidental shouted out loud but whatever.

>I rummaged through it looking at pictures of cute pones doing cute things. It was silly and childish but it puts this ridiculous looking smile on my face. If someone were to see me right now they'd think I'm absolutely weird. ... Well, not like I'm denying it though. But it's nice. Just looking at pictures. It doesn't have to some deep meaningful thing to make a person smile.

>Picture after picture.

>Ponka, Purplesmart, Rarara, Applepone, Bluefast and Flutterbutt. I can't help but smile really.

>I realize how many I have of these.

"God, I really am autistic, haha."

>There's even some stray picture or story that happened to be in the folder. I can't stress enough how I should clean this place up. Shit's all over the place. What's this edgy grimdark fanfic doing here? Whatever.

>...And what's this?

>It's an envelope. Unopened. I have a bad habit of dismissing the mail. Most of it is spam anyway. No one bothers to send me something actual meaningful things.

>I check the sender.

>it reads North Texas Food Bank

>...

 

>I was that food drive charity I organized a few weeks back. It was also quite successful if I say so myself. Had lots of spaghetti donated to feed hungry people. Tons in fact. And it wasn't the metaphorical spaghetti constantly kept in my pockets. It was actual edible pasta with red sauce. It was a good feeling, I still remember it. Looking back I did it mostly to piss off this one jerk in a con who went total anal when I dicked around and dropped spaghetti from my pockets. Sure that reason is stupid but people got fed in the process. Who's to say that was a pointless endeavor.

>I didn't think they'd even bother though to be honest. And frankly, I wish they didn't. I like to lie my head low when it's about the fandom. Sure I fucking rage at them all the time, I was actually known about it but I keep it to myself. Most of the time. But this fandom is really to blame. I mean really, it's all politics and drama. Even that charity drive was filled to the brim with it. Along with all sorts of assholes who judge me immediately and think I'm the fucking root of all the crappiest aspects of this fucked up fandom. I am to a degree but not all of it.

>Whatever.

>Anyway what's in this envelope...

"..."

>It's quite thought-out and formal. It's also quite lengthy.

>Long story short. It's a Christmas greeting. It's also a thank you note. Enclosed is a picture of a bunch of poor looking people stuffing their faces with tons of pasta. And they're all joyous and happy looking at the camera.

>My chest hurts. Great. I'm crying again. Fuck, the letter's getting wet.

 

>Merry Christmas. The last words words of the smudged letter read.

>...

>That phrase is used and worn out. I hate it. But people like it. Everybody says it. It's so stupid, no one even sincerely means that anyway. They just spout it with everyone just to get with the times. They're all so conformist idiots who don't even think. Fuck. I'm getting so worked up.

>...

>Sigh. Whatever. I'm making Christmas cards.

>I took all those things I have lying around, the pictures, the stories, some cute, some ridiculous, some of it even porn. I didn't know I had this much. Just means more material to work with then. I grabbed my scissors and paste and them up and stickied them to some pieces of cardboard lying around. I did it alone in my room. In this lonely night in Christmas. It was supposed to be pathetic. I was supposed to feel sad. But I don't know, I was too busy to bother with emotions.

>I toiled around for a good two hours. If I'm being honest, it was... strangely satisfying. I don't know why though.

> I made bunch of cards. Made without much thought, stupid and immature. But it was me. It was sincere. I signed each of these cards personally. I doubt all the others would really appreciate this once I gave this but whatever.

"Merry Christmas, from /mlp/."

>It read. Right there in the center while everywhere else was emblazoned with a bunch or random pony pictures and threads.

>I took one more look at it. I can't help but laugh.

>Everybody will hate this for sure. But whatever. Heh.

>I took my coat and headed outside carrying these retarded looking cards. I headed for /tg/'s place first. The outside air feels much more different than before...

 

>The party worn house lie quiet. The decoration are all in shambles. The front lawn's a mess. And there's confetti everywhere. Sad to admit but it looks like everybody had a blast at that party. Except me. I'm not gonna lie, I feel really bad for being left out but what's done is done. At least I can dump my card in peace now.

>I slid /tg/'s card from under the door.

>That's it then. I'm not expecting a response or anything. And, honestly, it feels good. It's hard to explain.

"Heh..."

>Whatever.

>Let's go to /a/ next.

>It's a strange feeling, walking to the next house. My foot feels lighter. Do the Christmas decorations grew brighter?

>And I reached /a/'s house. Slid 2 cards. I for /c/ as well.

>And I left as soon as I came. I couldn't see their reactions or if they would even like them or anything. But it's all good. I noticed I can't even remove this fucking smirk across my face.

>/mu/'s place is right up that alley. Might as well head there now.

>And here we go. The front door. I slid the card in.

>There. All good.

>Who's next?

>There's a creaking of the door.

>Oh shit...

".../mlp/?"

>Shit, fucker's still awake.

"U-ugh. H-hi... St-still awake, /mu/?"

"Yeah.. couldn't sleep."

>He looks down on to his feet. He sees the card. He picks it up. He inspects it. Pasta is dripping. I can already feel my pockets grow heavier with all the sauce.

>He just eyes you strangely. You sweat of meatballs all the while wearing this crooked awkward grin.

>After a few seconds of pasta droppings, he chuckles.

 

"This is really stupid."

"...Yeah it was a bit of a spur of the moment though."

>Spaghetti levels die down.

"Thanks though. It's stupidly funny, I'll admit."

>Huh. I thought /mu/ was one of those who actively hated my guts. Change of heart maybe? ...Nah. Just the season. At least he's not being mean.

"So I heard Weird Al's was on the show? How was it?"

"Well, it didn't happened yet. He will be in a few episodes, though soon."

"Oh really? And your thought's on this?"

"Honestly, I'm not too sure. I have a feeling it will be a full-on pandering to the autistic fandom but the recent season's not really that bad to be honest. I'm just holding my tongue."

"Speaking, what season is it now currently?"

"4th"

"Huh. I guess that's an achievement. I heard from /co/ that most cartoons don't last that long."

"Well, yeah... I suppose."

>Would it have been better if the show ended earlier? I don't know.

"...You're not really that enthusiastic about ponies anymore huh?"

"...What do you mean?"

"Well your voice tells it. It's subtle but it's their. Trust me, my ears are good."

>He's right in a way.

"Well, many things... happened. Let's leave it at that."

>He stares inquisitively. He inspects me and the things I'm carrying. He laughs a bit to himself. Guess he saw the stack of cards in my hand.

"Well. Alright. Hey. Thanks for the card. You're a decent talk if you don't sperg at that weird ass show."

>Yeah. Yeah

"...Whatever."

>He chuckles a bit.

"Goin' to sleep now. Good night. Hey. Merry Christmas again, /mlp/"

"Yeah.. sure..."

>I turn around and head to the next house. It feels pretty good actually. Doing this... Ugh. Whatever it is I'm doing right now.

 

>I went from house to house just sliding the cards through the door. Thankfully no else was awake that time. It was just dark and quiet. I think some didn't even have someone inside. Whatever.

>/b/

>/v/ to name a few.

>/pol/

>Even /o/ and /ic/.

>And even more so for that fucking retard that is /s4s/. I even ate that smudged topkek I got. It tasted like crap though. But it was nice, I guess.

>I just went from house to house. Apartment to apartment. Sliding cards. Leaving immediately. I don't need a response. I just went and did it. And honestly. It was very fulfilling. I can't understand why. I just did it. Until I have two cards left. On of which of course was for my brother.

>In front of /co/'s apartment I stood. The lights were off and the place feels dead. But that's a good thing. I honestly don't want brother to see me being this sappy and acting off-color.

>I just slid it through.

>I held my breath for a few second.

>No response.

>Sigh. That's a relief.

"Ha... haha... hahahahaha!"

>Something broke inside me. Here I am spending Christmas all alone, running around house to house of people that hate my very existence and giving them Christmas card that I handmade myself. And here's the good part. I'm actually having fun.

>What is the world coming to?

>I wipe the tears in my eyes and head for home.

>The streets definitely changed from before. I can't explain it. The sky is clearer, the breeze if cooler and the lights are brighter than ever. Maybe it's because my views aren't so watery anymore. Whatever.

 

>Finally reach the street where I live. Snow's falling. I look at the dark starry sky and see thousands of little white dots dancing to the slow breeze as the fall to the ground. I just stood there. Looking at a sky. I think a spent a good 15 minutes doing nothing but that. But it was time well spent, I guess.

>I'm tired. I want to sleep. But I send the last card still. Sigh.

>Here we go, in front of the apartment door. Fuck you doorknob.

>Finally get it too open. I turn on the lights by the doorway and see the same pigsty I left before. Only now its a lot more messy due to all the crap with making the Christmas cards. Heh. I'll clean it up tomorrow.

>I entered but I stepped on something. Looking down it was a bunch of cards. Much like the ones I made, resting on the floor right by the doorway. They were crude, simple, and immature. Just like mine. And they were left in my own place, slid through the door. Just like what I did.

>Christ. My chest aches. Tears are falling. Fuck again. You'd think it's all dried up by now, your eyes.

>I just sit there on the floor. Letting loose my waterworks on the sleeve of my coat. Thank god, I'm all alone for this.

>After good ten minutes acting like a pussy, I got up. Let's put these away for now. I don't want to read them right now. I still have stuff to do.

>I set them aside for now. I turned on my scanner. Fuck it's been so long huh. Hope you don't shit up today, of all days. I place the last card I had in my scanner.

>Christmas Card.png

>Nice. I wrote an email with it attached.

"Merry Christmas, /q/. I know how much shit I made you put up with and how much you hate me. Even though I'm not sorry for every one of my actions. Heh. How's your life there? It's been so quiet lately ever since you moved out of town. Anyway Merry Christmas, asshole. Sincerely -/mlp/."

>She always puts up with me. Sigh.

>Send

 

>The computer glared with its light. It was bright and warm and hummed with a comforting tune. Like a dog waiting for it's owner to throw the frisbee.

>I just stared at it.

>...

>You know what, whatever. Who cares. It's Christmas.

>Christmas Card.png.

>I log on to my twitter account.

>Lauren Faust.

>I'm a bit worried though. This card's not exactly work safe but... ahh, whatever. She knows me and how fucked up I am.

"Happy Holidays for /mlp/!"

>Send

>I doubt she'd reply though given how things were the last time but it's all good. I don't need acknowledgement.

>I guess I can send more. M.A. Larson too. He's such a bro.

>Also Meghan as well.

>You know what? Fuck it, I'm sending one to Obama.

"Happy Holidays for /mlp/!"

>Send.

>This is stupid but I can't help but smile.

>...

>What?

>Fuck my twitter's suspended!

"Fuck you NSA!"

>This is so stupid. So retardedly insane and immature, that anyone seeing this would think it's pathetic. So why am I laughing so much right. Honestly I don't even care anymore.

>I stop midway in my laugh. I look at the screen. Just there. Flashing how my account is disabled. I should be mad right now. I really should be. I don't know.

"...Merry Christmas, /mlp/..."

>I whisper to myself.

>Andrew WK's Ready to Die starts playing. phone call. Maybe I should change my ringtone. Nah. It's brother.

"I got your card. It fucking sucks."

>Good old, /co/.

"Your mom fucking sucks."

"...We have the same mother, you retard."

"Hahaha!"

"...You're feeling much more lively today. Something happen?"

>I slide a peak at that bundle of Christmas lights by the couch. I sigh and give myself a soft punch in the face.

"Yeah. The ride still hasn't ended."

"...As usual I still can't make any sense of whatever you're saying."

 

"Coming from a guy who reads cape shit with multiple alternate universe or some copout fuck life that"

"Fuck you. And what do you like? Fucking colorful cartoon ponies. That, I might add, you have no problem masturbating too."

"Ha! It's good you should try it sometime!"

"You sick fuck..."

"Heh..."

"Ha...hahaha..."

"Hahahahahhaaa..."

"...So you're okay?"

"...Yeah."

>I'm tired. It's been a long night. One I wouldn't forget in a long while.

"Hey, sis..."

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas."

"Thanks."

"No. Fuck you. Say it properly"

>What's gotten all up in his pants?

"What?"

"You haven't greeted anyone a 'Merry Christmas' right?"

"What you blind? Look at the card."

"I meant by voice."

"What, I did..."

"Alright, who?"

"...myself..."

"You're fucking pathetic. Merry Christmas, sis."

>What fucking weird brother. I can just picture him there shaking his head smiling. Whatever.

"...Merry Christmas, brother."

"That's better. I'm going to sleep. Now fuck off."

"You too, faggot."

>He hangs up. What a jerk. Heh.

>I should go to sleep. I'll read all these cards tomorrow. I get up from the computer.

>I saw the Christmas light noose I made earlier. Sigh.

>I have some serious issues.

>I took the Christmas lights hanged it from the ceiling fan and plugged it in. It made the room much brighter. Hanging in the middle of my living room, a makeshift suicide apparatus glowing brightly and joyously. I looked at the window and so pleasant fields of white. Newly falling snow piled up upon the old ones. Blanketing the street with its cold embrace. I just laugh a little bit to myself.

>I hum a small Christmas carol headed straight for the kitchen. I'm making some hot chocolate. Screw sleeping. I have some reading to catch up on.

 

The End.