The Reverend [PiE]

>Knock twice.

>The door opens.

>A man stands in the doorway.

>"Yes?"

"Good afternoon, sir. My name is Reverend Anonymous.  I have reason to suspect that your house might be infested.  May I come inside to ask you more questions?"

>"I'd rather you didn't."

"Then may I ask you at the door?  It will only take a few moments."

>"Fine, I guess."

"Excellent."

>Reaching into your pocket, you grab a notecard and your reading glasses.

"Alright, question number one.  Are you currently in a stable relationship?"

>"What kind of question is that?"

"Sir, please answer the question."

>The man looks off down the street and then back to you.

>"Yeah."

>You conjure up a pen from your pocket and circle his answer on the card.

"About how long have you been together?"

>"A couple of months.  What does this have to do with anything?"

"Sir, please hold all questions until the end of the survey.  Does your significant other live with you currently?"

>"Yeah, she moved in soon after we got together."

>You jot a note down on the card.

>Confirmed female.

 

"How often does your... girlfriend(?) consume any kind of sustenance?"

>"She's on a diet."

"Right... And what does she require of you in this relationship?"

>"All she said she wanted was my love and affection and make me happy.  What does any of this have to do with an infestation?"

"Just one more question, sir.  Have you been feeling emotionally drained over the course of your relationship?"

>The man opened his mouth but said nothing.

>He shifted awkwardly in place.

>"Well come to think of it, I have been feeling rather blue lately."

>You nod your head as you tally up your notes and write a score at the bottom of the card.

>Folding the card up, you place it back in your pocket with the pen.

"Sir, with your testimony, I feel that I have enough evidence here to confidently suspect your partner of being a succubus."

>"What?" asked the man with a smile and a short laugh.

"A succubus.  Incubus if it's male.  A demonic parasite and shapeshifter that feeds on the emotions of its host."

>"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

>His smile was gone after hearing how serious your tone was.

"That wouldn't be the first time I've heard that.  May I come in to investigate further?"

>"No! Get out of here!"

"Sir, please.  If you would just allow me to-"

 

>"Who's at the door, sweetie?" said a female voice.

>Appearing in the doorway to hug the man was a woman.

>She freezes when she sees you and you narrow your eyes at her.

>Without wasting a moment, you quickly reach into your cloak and pop the cap on a vial of holy water.

>You throw the water in her face from which she screams and backs away.

>"Shelley!" cried her boyfriend as he tried to help her.

>Forcing her hands away from her face, he inspected the damage.

>What he saw made him let her go and step back.

>"What the hell?"

>It was then that he saw her green eyes, her slitted pupils, and fangs.

>The areas the holy water hit turned hard and black.

>Exposed, the succubus hissed at you and turned to run.

>You draw you six-shooter and fire a shot; missing as she turned down a hallway.

>Shoving the man to the side, you give chase into the house.

>She exits out the back of the house and moves to leap over fence to the yard next door.

>You appear outside and hastily take aim and fire another round.

>The bullet clips her in the legs as she jumps.

>Yelping out in pain, she collapses on the other side.

"Easy day," you tell yourself as you holster your weapon and walk to meet the creature.

 

>Arriving on scene, a green glow fell over her from head to toe as the shock of your silver bullet took effect.

>It nullified their magic more than it was to kill them, although that's not saying it can't.

>The succubus had reverted to it's original form.

>A four-legged, insectoid critter with a hard, black carapace.

>It's horn was twisted and its legs and membrane-like wings were riddled with holes.

>But its soul-less eyes are what got to you the most.

>A disgusting creature if you say so yourself.

>A green goo of what was to be its blood was seeping from the leg wound.

>It gasped as it tried to stand and fly away.

>You promptly force it back to the ground and hold its wings at a very painful angle.

>Lowering your head to it, you speak.

"Your queen.  Where is she?"

>"None can stop the invasion," whispered the creature.

>You twist the wings, causing it to cry out in pain.

"Where," you demand.

>"I would sooner die than betray the queen," it whispered again.

"Then so be it."

>You draw your weapon and fire once into the back of the head, splattering green goo over the ground.

>You're going to find that wretched creature who spawns these things to taint your world.

>One of her drones will break sooner or later.

>But time is not something you have on your side.