Letting Her Go

>It's pitch black outside.

>A lone flickering street lamp illuminates you as you stand on the street corner.

>You come out here every night.

>Each time, hoping this will be the night.

>But it never is.

>She has abandoned you, left to wallow in sorrow.

>You pray for pity, but pity never comes.

>You look for any glimmer of hope, but you are left in the dark without a guide.

>The cold wind and rain batters you.

>But the chill and eventual hypothermia does not hurt as much as this hollow pain you feel inside.

 

>You could run and knock on her door, but she wouldn't answer.

>You could sing her a song, but she would shut you out.

>You could bump into her and announce your feelings for her in public, but she would do everything she can to make you hurt.

>The embarassment she would cause means nothing to you.

>You love her.

>You need her.

>You don't want to let her go.

>It took such a long time for you to finally find her.

>To lose her now would to lose everything.

--

>Her friends, your friends, have tried to help.

>They tried by getting her to take you back.

>They also tried to help you forget her.

>But you just can't.

>You see a picture of her on the wall, in the paper, or see her around town, and your heart skips a beat.

>But when you hear the mention of her name, this storm about you comes around even when the sky is blue.

 

>You stare at your feet as the wind twirls about you.

>Brief flashes of lightning illuminate the shadows around you, but only for a brief second.

>The crash of thunder overhead could make you deaf.

>Hopefully it will draw her to her window this night and give her the slightest feeling of remorse.

>A silhouette in a second story window catches your peripherals.

>You look up and spot your one and only watching you.

>Her horn glows a dim light but you can't make out her face.

"Rarity..." you whisper to yourself.

>You drop to your knees, practically begging please.

>She extinguishes the light and closes the curtains.

--

>Your heart shatters.

>You fall forward and lay on the ground, your face in the mud.

>The water works flow uncontrollably.

>You slam your fist into the dirt to vent your frustration.

"Please don't make me..." you say aloud through your tears and sobs.

>This girl stole your world.

>Now you are nothing but a phony.

>You just tried to hold on until she was really gone.

>As much as you prayed that day would never come, it appears it has reared its ugly head.

 

>Despite the mud, you can still taste her kiss on your lips.

>Despite the storm, you can still see the moonlight dancing off of her big sapphire eyes.

>You get drunk on her every time.

>You just can't help but lose control of yourself when she's around.

>But now...

>For some time now, you had a feeling she was only playing with your heart.

>She always had an eye for anything that glittered.

>But you were far from being made of gold.

>How you ever scraped up the money remains a mystery to all. Even you.

>But you just could never quite tell her 'No'.

>But a night or two of loving her is better than never at all.

--

>You have been laying out in the cold for a while now.

>You curl into a ball to try to stay somewhat warm.

>But the longer you are concious, the more you reminisce.

>The more you reminisce, the worse the pain gets.

>You swore you would never degrade this far.

>To never allow yourself to give up.

>To let her go, and let yourself go.

>You hated yourself for coming to this.

>How has it even come to this?

>You don't remember the details, but it hurts all the same.

 

>If you had a star for every scar this mare had tattooed on your heart, Luna would be out of a job.

>You could fill the entire Equestrian sky and then some.

>But it's not all bad.

>The time you had with her was the best of your life.

>She doesn't want you back, and it kills you, but at least you have your memories.

>It might take some time to patch yourself up inside.

>But you can't take it so you just run away and hide.

>All you want is her to be back in your arms again.

>Another bolt of lighting coupled with the clap of thunder drowns all of your thoughts.

>It would be another minute, but you find sleep's loving embrace as you pass out from exhaustion.

>It will be all over soon.

--

>Today is the day.

>You are walking towards the Carousel Boutique with a spring in your step.

>Today is the finally the day!

>You will tell her you love her.

>Not simply that, but how much you truly love her.

>You can't wait to put this ring around her horn.

>And promise her forever.

>Together.

 

>You had your hand in your pocket, ring in your grip.

>But when she had told time is all she really needed, you gently eased off and pulled your hand back out.

>You walked away and let her have her space.

>But she couldn't see the tears welling up in your eyes.

>Or the way you fell back against a wall when you rounded the corner.

>And then that fateful day of when she came trotting up to you with him.

>It had just finally hit you.

>She doesn't really miss you.

>You told her that you were happy for her.

>You stood there wishing for just one more chance.

>But it's all too clear that it is too late for that.

>You didn't want to believe it, and even the thought of it was hard.

>But it seems she's really gone now.

--

>The days were spent at your home.

>Your door was locked and your curtains closed.

>The only illumination was the light of a single flickering candle.

>All the alcohol in Equestria couldn't erase your memories of her.

>It probably didn't help that you had pictures of the two of you all around you.

>You friends stop by to check in because you have completely checked out.

>You tell them you're fine, but they know better.

>After a while though, they give up, hoping that you will come to your sense on your own.

>When night comes, you abandon your home to throw away your bits at the bar.

>Those neon arms hold you tight and bring you comfort.

>You have a table for two in the farthest corner from the door where you sit alone.

>You have never been the kind to let your feelings show for any reason.

>This whiskey kills the man she's turned you into.

>But after a few bottles, well, to hell with everything.

>Forget your pride and let it rain.

>There's no telling how many tears you've sat here and cried.

>And even more so the lies you have told your poor heart that she would come back someday.

>This hurt inside of you is never gonna end.

>It needs to get bad before it gets better.

>But you will never get over her by hiding this way.

--

>Before morning comes, you stumble your way home.

>You hate life and everything that encompasses it.

>Had you never come to this place...

>Well, you probably wouldn't be much better off.

>But at least you wouldn't have had your heart ripped from your chest like it has here.

>But then you wouldn't have met Rarity.

>She had been so generous to you.

>She knew what made you tick and even allowed you to stay with her.

>Over time, those feelings developed into a full blown relationship.

>And in one fell swoop, it was all washed away.

 

>Where did you go wrong?

>The passion was lost, and all the trust was gone.

>All you could do was hold her hooves, look into her eyes, and watch her drift away.

>Some might say you've done the wrong things.

>But nopony would ever elaborate.

>Everything's so blurry, this world so cold.

 

>Now you walk this dark and lonely road, miles from away from those who care for you.

>There's nothing there for you while the city sleeps and all the shops are closed.

>But as you walk, you can't help but recall all the words she spoke to you.

>Of all the times you've had with her.

>Oh how you wish you were there, back to where you were loved.

>But you're lonely and you're tired.

>And your house is coming into view.

>You're almost home.

>Almost home...

>Al...most... home...

--

>A hoof is lightly rocking you around.

>"Hey! Are you okay?"

>You're awake.

>And alive to live another day.

>Why does fate taunt you so?

>You slowly roll over onto your back.

>This grey sky morning was even more depressing than the violent storm last night.

>Maybe you're just haunted.

>Too bad you fell asleep with your face buried in your arm.

>Maybe you could've drowned in the mud while you were asleep.

>But, as fate would have it, it seems that you are here to stay.

>But can you really ever let her go?

 

>"Anonymous!"

>You lift your head to face your... well, your savior in a sense.

"You woke me up, Rose."

>"Are you bucking insane, Anonymous? You could have-"

"Why? Why would you do that?"

>You lay your head back down and close your eyes.

"It was so peaceful. I had those dreams again, but it ended so softly. Instead of an abrupt awakening, I was almost home. Almost at peace."

>"What? Are you accepting death Anon? Are you giving up so easily? What would have happened had you actually made it 'home'?"

"I don't know."

>You sit up to face Roseluck.

"But I imagine it would have been wonderful."

--

>Roseluck sighed.

>"Anonymous, come with me."

"Why? There's nothing for me anywhere in this world. Perhaps I'll become a hermit. Live my life in total solitude."

>"Anonymous, get up."

>Reluctantly, you stand from your comfortable spot in the mud.

"What time is it?"

>"Six o'clock."

"The hell...? Why are you up so early? Nopony's up this early."

>She shrugged.

>"I had something to take care of, but that can wait. You should just feel lucky I just so happened to stumble across you before something bad could happen."

"Yeah... Lucky..."

 

>You make it back to her house, but you stand by her door.

>She brings you a towel and a blanket.

>You wipe off what mud you can and she wraps you in the blanket and sits you on her couch.

>"I can only imagine what you must be feeling Anonymous, but don't think it's all over."

"But I have nothing left. Literally."

>"But this isn't right. You shouldn't do this to yourself."

"Well why not."

>"Because it's selfish."

>You lower your head in shame, but she turns your to face her once again.

>She placed a hoof in your lap and looked you straight in the eyes.

>"And regardless of what you might think, there's always somepony out there who cares for you."