Crazy Ponies Are Crazy: It Begins

Another story I started writing.

I was really just a foolin' around with writing.

Nothing special the title pretty much says it all.

Craziness in every chapter.

I might write more of it, if I get enough requests for it.

AiE stuff

No Flutterape here.

Still I hope you enjoy.

 

 

Crazy Ponies Are Crazy

 

>Wake up to a beautiful saturday morning, birds chirping sun shining. You've pretty much gotten used to Equestria only you don't have any girlfriends or fuck buddies and still a virgin sadly.

>You make good money by working at the townhall and you're on a little paid vacation for the next week. You go to the kitchen and begin to fix yourself some coffee before you begin your weekend cleaning. Just before you take the first sip a loud knock at your startles you into spilling your coffee.

"UGH! this better be good".

>You open the door and it's Applejack looking angry."Shit shit shit!" is what you're thinking in your head. you give a half hearted smile.

"G-good morning Applejack, What can I do for you?"

>Hoping she doesn't knock your head off before answering the question. She replies "Ah WANT YOU...to go out with me." She then flutters her eyelashes and then smiles.

>You stand there more confused than a retard be taught quantum physics.

>dafuq.jpg

"Wait hold up what?"

>"Haha silly there's no othur way to say this, Ah like ya a lot. What do ya say we spend the day together? Ah've got the weekend off."

"Wait a minute, what made you want to knock on my door so hard and then look at me like you're going to kill me?! For the Love of Luna you scared the hell out of me, Fluttershy would look like a noble knight compared to how scared I just was."

>"Gosh sorry about that ah have been told ah look angry. Ah didn't mean to scare ya darlin', just gotta knock loud enough so you can hear me is all".

>You have nothing to worry about I mean her heart's in the right place you and her seem to always hit it off I mean even her friends know it. But you was gonna clean out your house today maybe she'll understand.

"Applejack I'd love to hang out with you today but I actually was gonna do a little weekend cleaning maybe another ti-.."

>"Ah can help you out Anon heck we'd probably git it all done before noon." she says eagerly with a hopeful smile on her face.

"wait really?! You'll help me? It's a lot of work Applejack plus there are some personal items I'd prefer not to let anyone see."

>"Please darlin it's nothing Ah haven't seen before lets git started".

>You welcome her in and go to pour yourself a cup of coffee. After that cup of coffee you're full of energy then you and Applejack are getting shit done.

>The place is sparkling so hard Twilight(the pony) would feel it. All done except your bedroom. Applejack begins to walk into your room you summon the speed of the RainBoom and block her from entering.

 

>"Umm Anon move before Ah make you move."

"Heh heh ummm let me just put up some things right quick, OH I KNOW.. just let me handle this room ok?"

>She grins and says "Oh Anon are there some things you do want me to see?" trying to peek around you.

"Please Applejack it's kinda personal."

>"Alright fine Ah'll just go downstairs and get some coffee or something."

>You close and lock the door and start cleaning up your room you put up all the pony porn. Applejack walks right up to the door and knocks.

>"Are ya done in there Anon?" You take one more look to make sure when you open the door she won't get see anything incriminating.

"Yeah pretty much. Sooooo the house is clean it's not even noon. We have all the time in the world, what now?"

>"Let me try out your huge bed." You open the door and look at her like she's got an alternative motive so yeah eyebrows are raised. Applejack not even phased at all.

>"Well how about it?"

"Uhhh why? I mean yeah it's pretty huge but why?"

>"Can you get your mind out of the gutter for a second? Ah wanna see if it's comfortable, because whenever you get up to answer the door you always complain that you wanna go back to bed because it's like a puffy cloud of awesome, heck Rainbow Dash said when she crashed here you said you'll sleep on the couch the next morning she didn't want to leave the bed."

"Alright alright fine."

>She gets on the bed and is dazed by it's feeling "Oh my...."

>She starts breathing heavily and sweating then she at the corner of her eye she sees a magazine stick out from the bed luckily that's the only one in the bed she pulls it out and cannot believe her eyes. It's pony porn, she looks at you and grins.

>"Ok first this bed is just amazing. Oh my, Ah can sleep for weeks and second since when did you get attracted to ponies? What happen to all that "taboo" nonsense Anon?"

"Oh um well....you see...this one time..."

>"Hush loverboy join me it's your bed after all." You can't believe this is about to happen you join her and she is just staring at you she moves close to your face the puts her hooves on your chest then pushes you on your back.

"Am I dreaming?"

>"Anon, suga' in this bed there's nothing but dreaming." she kisses you with her soft lips and the tangy apple tastes lingers in your mouth. You want more but she pulls away. She unzips your pants and then a knock at the door.

>"Are you fucking kidding me?!" you never heard Applejack swear before it was a bit of a shock. "Don't move Anon ah'll be back."

>She leaves to go downstairs. Meanwhile you're trying to get your hot and bothered self under control then you hear the door open and you hear the following conversation take place.

 

>"Applejack? what are you doing here?" sounded like Twilight. "Yeah what are you and Anon up to?" sounded like Rainbow Dash.

>"Oh well ya see Ah'm helping Anon clean up a bit is all". There was an awkward pause.

>"Riiight cleaning ok Applejack MOVE."

"Shit shit I'm still hard" is what your thinking. You get under the covers and pretend to be asleep.

>Twilight and Rainbow enter the house and all you hear is "WHOA you guys cleaned up good!" said Rainbow Dash.

>"Hey where's Anon? I need to have a word with him."

>"Oh he's up stairs Twilight probably sleeping in his room poor fella probably finally crashed from all that coffee he drank lets let him be for now, why do you need to talk to him?"

>"Oh I kinda owe him some bits for buying some books for me. He's so nice."

>"Sleeping?! Ugh I'm jealous of him he has the best bed ever! But since I've slept on it It's 20% cooler." For some reason Rainbow Dash just had to brag how cool she is...That pony there.

>"Oh Ah know it's so comfortable!"

>"*GASP* you know what we should do? Get Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie hopefully Rarity to wake him up! I'm laughing thinking about it. We jump on the his bed and scare the crap out of him! Hey wait how do you know that Applejack?"

> Unfortunately you fell asleep at "*GASP* you know what we should do?". So about 30 minutes later you wake up from the sudden title waves occurring in your bed.

 

"What in the name of Luna?!"

>You fall off the bed and Rainbow Dash and the gang are laughing at you.

>"Oh my gosh did you see your face! Priceless!" Rainbow Dash that prankster she then hits Fluttershy on the back she goes flying and crashing into the closet which caused all your pony porn to fall off the top shelf in front of all of them.

"Awwww shit, I'm dreaming right?"

>Twilight looking at the massive pile of pony porn "AHA I KNEW IT!!! You are attracted to ponies!"

>Rarity looking at you with a straight face "Hmmm are you into pegging?"

"What the fuck? NO."

>Fluttershy still stunned "Oh my...Anon if you wanted nudes all you have to do is ask mister."

>Pinkie Pie barely containing herself"ooooOOOooo where'd cha get all this?"

>Rainbow Dash just smirking"Heh heh busted!"

>Applejack still turned on from earlier"Oh Anon you freak Ah had no idea you was THIS attracted to us."

>You not sure whether you're dreaming or this is actually happening nonetheless your blushing.

"Ugh OUT all of you! Jeez can't I sleep in peace?"

>More than embarrassed you rush them out of your bedroom as they leave Fluttershy asks" Hey Anon...I'm just wondering would you like flesh-..." slam the door right in her face.

>You scoop up all the pony porn and just shove into a box and put it back in the closet. >You've never been so frustrated with them they really crossed the line. The truth is out now you wonder how they're going to act around you now.

 

"Ugh I need a drink."

>You go downstairs to get some Vodka from you cabinet not that you're surprised but the ponies are waiting for you downstairs all of them smirking, grining, snickering, you can just feel the questions they're about to ask. You reach your cabinet open it and get your strongest vodka and pour a few shots the ponies still watching you like a tv show. You down every shot like a boss.

"Ok, now before I kick you all out. Want to tell what that little stunt upstairs was all about?"

>"It was Rainbow Dash's idea! She thought it be funny I swear!" Pinkie Pie explained. The others shake their head in agreement with her.

"Rainbow Dash, run, fly or whatever you do...you're dead."

>You start walking to her with the intent to kill and destroy this prankster who needs to be put down then Applejack gets in your way and Twilight and Rarity trying to hold you back with magic "Whoa there fella calm down we know how she can be CALM DOWN!"

>Rainbow Dash decides to be the bigger er...pony? "Anon I'm sorry! I just wanted to pull a harmless little prank, of course the huge pile of pony porn that fell out of the closet was an added bonus you little freak you."

>She winks at you hoping you'll forgive and forget.

>"Alright Anon, she said she's sorry come on let this go, Anon please." there was no point in fighting so you calmed down and a bit buzzed that Vodka works fast.

"Alright jeez..."

>"Good now YOU apologize mister." Fluttershy said and she means business.

"Wha-WHAT come on! Why do I have to apol-"

>"HEY who's trying to kill who Anon? Apologize now." she's giving the famous stare you can't win with her this way why even bother resisting.

"Fine Rainbow Dash I'm sorry,ok?"

>"It's all good bro. Don't worry about it." She smiles gives you a wink.

>"Great now that we're all friends again. Anon why do you have so much porn? Have you ever been laid?" Twilight eagerly asks.

"Pfff like I'm gonna tell you that. That's for me to know and for you to never find out."

>"*GASP* YOU ARE A VIRGIN awwww!" Twilight shouts for all of Equestria to hear.

"Jeez keep it down! I don't want everyone hearing such lies I think Luna barely heard you."

>"Oh come on Anon you can tell us. Are you or aren't you?"

"I refuse to answer."

>"Oh for the love of apples would you answer the darn question."

"Not telling you."

>You take one more shot of vodka put it back in the cabinet and start walking to head for the stairs.

>"Whoa there partner where do you think ya going?" Applejack says as she blocks your way >"Answer the question will ya? We won't care if you are or not please? Answer it for me?"

"*sigh*Yes." you look a little down how embarrassing it's like your putty in their hooves.

>"See? That wasn't so bad now we just gotta get you laid." said Twilight "In fact Anon I have a plan."

"Oh NO you don't. I'll just fine without your plans."

>"Anon come on trust me I know a few mares that are DESPERATE."

"No."

>"Well why the fuck not Anon?"

"Because, I prefer to give it to someone I have feelings for."

>"AWWWWWWW!" The ponies said in unison.

>"Well gosh Anon why didn't you say so? We'll give you some space." At this point you're pretty sure these ponies are insane in the membrane they're so hot and cold what the hell is wrong with them?

"Uh thanks?"

>They all leave giving you a big hug letting you know they accept you for who you are. It's a very comfortable feeling actually. Hours later you go back to bed and crash pretty damn hard.