Crazy Ponies Are Crazy: Crazy Rants and Unwanted Guests

>Wake up and it's Sunday morning, you do your morning routine go downstairs and make some coffee because coffee is fucking awesome.

>Sit on the couch turn on the tele and watch for about roughly 9 to 12 hours then the news comes on. Which is boring as usual. A knock at the door occurs you open it and it's Fluttershy.

"Hey Fluttershy, what's up?"

>"Oh well...can I come in?"

"Sure I guess."

>She seems worried about you. She sits on your couch.

>"Anon I need to tell you something..."

"What is it Fluttershy?"

>"I want you to stay away from Applejack! She's bad news! She's CRAZY!! You gotta believe me! She's trying to use you then abuse you and then fuck you then abuse you again then she'll kill you...maybe."

"Fluttershy you gotta be kidding me she's harmless if anything she'd rather protect me if anything. "

>"Don't be foolish Anon! Don't say I didn't warn you mister."

"Ugh Fluttershy give me one piece of evidence that Applejack is out to get me."

>"Uhhh she was a bully in high school, She made the teacher quit in third grade from her EVIL behavior, she even went to a party she wasn't invited to and one time she kicked a rabbit."

"OK I've heard enough I don't doubt it but really Applejack is cool seriously besides I could outsmart her easily she's not the brightest bulb after all."

>"Well if you're so smart mister why can't you see past her lies and delicious apple pies? have you kissed her?"

"Well that's a bit personal but yes so?"

>"Did you notice that lingering tangy apple taste that drives you mad?"

"Uhh...yeah...how did you know?"

>Fluttershy looks at you and blushes and smiles then she says" Well..you see..me and Applejack kinda had a thing."

"SAY WHAT?! Oh now that's just hot. Damn Fluttershy you're full of surprises."

>"Shhh! Damn Anon don't tell anyone ok? She's not who she appears to be believe me. Go for it if you want but don't say I didn't warn you ok?"

"Ok and trust me I won't tell a soul."

>Fluttershy gives you a nice little kiss on the cheek gets up and leaves. You get up and head up stairs to go to sleep as you get under the covers you feel someone else there, you remove the covers. It's Rarity trying to be sneaky sneaky.

"RARITY why the hell are you in my bed? Get out, I'm too tired to deal with your foolery."

>"Oh but darling your bed is so comfortable I just want to lay in it honestly we can cuddle or fuck or sleep whichever you prefer." She bats her eyelashes and looks at you with puppy dog like eyes and begins to tear "Pwease Anon let me sleep here, just for tonight?"

"Alright fine, and what's with all you and your friends swearing?"

>"Oh why we find the words very colorful that's why we use swear words." She thanks you for allowing her to stay the night. Kisses you on your forehead.

"You also have to make the coffee in the morning, and one hoof on rubbing the wrong part of me will result in you getting kicked out the window and then you will repair the window."

>"My word, such violence and why are you so obsessed with coffee? I mean really what's wrong with tea? I think you need a little more variety in your selection of drinks."

"Believe me I do I just put them in a cabinet until there's a cause for celebration...or frustration."

>"Not to change the subject but I'm assuming fucking is out of the question for tonight, Perhaps cuddling?" she starts rubbing her hoof on your shoulder kissing your neck. Trying your best to ignore you just shrug her off of you. You'd rather be downstairs sleeping on the couch but too tired to even bother what's the harm with just sleeping in you own bed?

"Good night Rarity."

>"but...but-.."

"GOODnight Rarity."

>So as you go to sleep (hard thanks to Rarity) you wonder if the others are gonna start acting a little cray-cray. Also is Applejack really nothing but a bad apple in the bunch?