Crazy Ponies Are Crazy: AJ Actin' Cray-Cray

>Wednesday morning you wake up with Applejack cuddled next you tightly sleeping you attempt to get out of bed but she just pulls you back in.

>"Where do you think you're going sugarcube?"

>You look into her eyes and notice something different they have crazy written all over them "You should have listen to her."

>You ain't even mad it seems she wants more but you are kind of worried at what she just said.

"ummm Applejack you ok?"

>"Come here Anon ah won't bite ya...too hard."

>She starts grinding on you in a very aggressive manner.

>She holds you down then licks the sweat off of your eyebrow.

>"Mmm salty...You know ponies love salt right?" not sure whether to be creeped out or turned on....turned on it is.

"umm Applejack I really gotta use the bathroom and I gotta have my coffee please can you hold off for 10 minutes or so?"

>She sighs and seems a bit upset.

>"Alright suga' ah want you in here in 13 minutes don't make me wait...ah hate waiting."

>So you goto the bathroom and do your morning ritual then which only takes about a few minutes.

 

>You go downstairs and find Fluttershy, Twilight and Rarity at your kitchen table sipping coffee(well just Rarity anyway because she's hooked) and chatting.

"What the fuck?! Is this a restaurant or something?!"

>"Please Anon it's too early to be swearing if...you don't mind me saying."

>At this point you really don't care what Fluttershy has to say she's making you mad from just sitting at your kitchen table with her cock blocking flank.

"Why are you here anyway?"

>"To make sure you're ok of course, me and Rarity came to check up on you. Twilight just tagged because she needs to talk to Applejack or whatever it was."

"Oh? what happen to me being on my own?"

>"I can't let you deal with Applejack by yourself you clearly can't handle her does she seem different this morning?"

"Now that you mention it she seemed more demanding and horny than usual oh why are you even here Rarity?"

>"Oh why for the coffee of course. Coffee oh how I love thee. Oh also I really don't give a fuck about what is taking place."

>Smiling as if she just won the lotto or something.

>"Rarity! Watch your language miss and keep your eyes peeled this is gonna be good."

>"ANON! TIMES UP GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW!!"

>You caught off guard and starled. Fluttershy just shaking her head

>"Tsk tsk it's already begun you better hurry she hates waiting."

"What? Please she can't tell me what to do. I mean what she even gonna do anyways?"

 

>You hear your bedroom door slam open and loud footsteps marching downstairs you want to hide but instead you decide to be calm so you sat down and laid back but still nervous as fuck.

>You feel your demise getting closer to you, Applejack then taps you on the shoulder "oh shit here comes the hoof of death" is what your thinking then you're just dumb founded with what Applejack says next.

>"Anooooon baaaabbbyy why won't you come upstairs? ah miss cuddling with you, you're so comfortable to lay with."

>She looks at you with her cute eyes then begins to tear up and her bottom lip quiver.

"Whoa hey hey Applejack calm down I just gotta finish my coffee and I'll be up there but I am a little hungry so it might take a few more min-..."

>"Can ah cook for you Anon? pwease?"

>Who is this pony? first a demanding bitch then all of sudden a sweet stay at home clingy wife?

>You aren't even sure who she is anymore but heck she offered so why not?

 

"Ummm sure thing babe."

>"YAY! what do you have in mind darlin'? name the dish and ah'll cook it for ya."

"Nothing fancy just an omelet with bell peppers and unions and potato bits and cheese and a side hash browns." so sad there's no ham or bacon.

>She pulls out a pencil and a little notepad and starts writing it down like she was a waitress."Alrighty dear now what'll have to drink?"

"Coffee, a lot of cream and a lot of sugar."

>Just like her last night heh heh, Okay back to the story.

>"Alright dear gotcha and you Fluttershy?"

>"Oh ummm just a salad will be fine thank you."

>"Just a salad? darling you sure? We do have some delicious pancakes and maple syrup with a side of and tater tots or hashbrowns."

>"Actually that sounds good I'll have that with the tater tots."

>"Excellent darlin' and you Twilight?"

>"Oh I'll just have cup of that awesome coffee that Rarity claims is so good that's all."

>"Alright gotcha now let me run that by yall again, Anon an omelet with bell peppers unions cheese and potato bits with a side of hashbrowns a cup of coffee a lot of cream and a lot of sugar, Fluttershy you want the flapjacks with maple syrup with a side of and tatter tots and Twilight just a cup o' joe is that right so far?"

"Right on the money Applejack."

>"Great now Fluttershy what'll you have to drink?"

>"A class of water will be just fine."

>"Alright it'll be a few minutes til the orders ready y'all."

>You're not even sure what's happening you've never seen this ever it's almost as if it's a cartoon or something yeah and Applejack is acting straight up cray-cray!

>You've never seen this side of her before you kind of wonder about her past.

>Anyways nonetheless you're about to shove it Fluttershy's face that Applejack is harmless. Maybe she was just horny earlier.

>Applejack fires up the stove and gets to cooking. You look at the others and begin whispering.

 

"Don't trust her Anon she'll use and abuse you Anon yeah Fluttershy she's using me she just took a cooking order in my own house willingly yeah she's TOTALLY pure evil."

>"HEY I'm just as thrown off as you are mister ok? she should have you by the throat you lucky son of a bitch."

>Twilight explains "Anon...Applejack is unstable right now you should really be careful."

"Hmmm I wonder if she'll take out the trash while she's at it. Rarity anything to say about this?"

>"Who cares? As long as I can have my coffee, say what's Applejack doing cooking? Didn't she want to stomp your face in a while ago?"

"That's what I'm saying!"

>"(Oh yeah ignore the pony explaining everything)"Twilight mumbles.

"Did you say something Twi?"

>"What? oh nothing heh heh."

 

>Of course all that was being whispered so Applejack couldn't hear.

>A few minutes later you could hear is Applejack humming a peaceful tune and cooking. She seems so happy you better hope to not screw it up.

>"Order UP!" shouted Applejack for some weird reason she brings the food and it looks perfect.

"Oh wow Applejack thank you! Gosh you're a saint."

>"Why do ya'll calling me Applejack?" you look at her in confusion.

"Well because it's your name?"

>"No silly Applejack is not here right now. Ah'm Zapplejackie."

"SAY WUUUUT??"

>"Oh gosh Anon you're a funny fella, Applejack is kinda resting but she does want you to know she had a great time last night she hopes ya'll can do it again soon."

"Oh Thanks I suppose."

>"Well eat up ya'll. Ah'll be taking out the trash enjoy your meal."

>She gives you a peck on the cheek and winks at you then whispers in your ear "Applejack also has a meal for ya if ya catch my drift suga'."

>You begin blushing damn that pony and her eyes and tangy apple breath.

>You can deal with crazy but this is odd the good kind of odd.  

>So you and the gang at the table are eating the meals your ordered which was AWESOME!

>You don't even want to bother with the fact Applejack or "Zapplejackie" is being beyond belief weird.

>So about 15 minutes later you and other ponies finished your meal and started to have a chat and having a good time while "Zapplejackie" takes your plates and then puts them in the sink and start washing dishes once she finished she goes back upstairs her job was done anyway.

 

>As you and the ladies are having good laughs and what have you, you can't help but wonder if Applejack or "Zapplejackie" is ok so you go upstairs to check on her.

>You open the bedroom door and see Applejack sitting on the bed with her arms crossed just giving you a deadly look.

>It seems you're in deep shit but maybe it's just a false alarm so you speak up.

"Hey Applejack are you ok?"

>"*sigh*Anon ah told you be up here in 13 minutes not only was you late but you took an extra 45 minutes! Anon ah hate waiting."

>She walks downstairs and asks everyone to leave because she claims me and her kind of want to be alone now. Fluttershy a bit reluctant but leaves as well. Applejack closes the door and all you hear is...

>"OH ANON you're in deep shit boy."

>You decide to lock your bedroom door hoping she won't get in.

>She busts open the door (surprise surprise) and she see looks pissed.

"Hey now let's not get violent let's talk about this."

>"Alright cutie." She tackles you onto the bed and holds you down.

>"Apologize Anon!" you look in her eyes.

>They are fueled with rage you just hope she wants to rape you first before she kills you. So you decide to be the bigger man.

"I'm sorry Applejack."

>"Good boy, now there's one thing you need to remember in this here bedroom ah call the shots the next time you're late ah'll get my ropes and tie you down to a chair and lock in my cellar for a few days full of flies, with razor blade cuts all over you....well except your dick *blushes*Ah got to have the dick....ok silly?" with a smile on her face.

 

>This just went dark really fast, the last thing you want to do is to piss Applejack off. It turns out Fluttershy was right after all but she's gone. What can you do now?

>"Now Anon ah don't mean to frighten ya, what do ya say me and you cuddle for a while huh?" said with a innocent smile on her face.

"Uhh,sure ok" you're glad that's the only thing she wants to do at the moment.

>She snuggles up next to you smiling and relaxing, meanwhile your trembling and shaking out of control hoping she doesn't decide to kill you off.

>"You cold Anon? Ah can keep ya warm."

>She gets up goes to your closet and grabs an extra blanket.

>"Anon ah can fix a nice hot cup of coffee just how ya like it how does that sound?"

"That sounds great" hmmm maybe she's not so bad after all.

>"Good and you better drink every drop or ah'll hang ya by your balls! ok?"

>You couldn't be more creeped out ,but you can't take this inconsistency of this pony anymore so you gather the courage (what little you have left anyway) and ask.

"WHO ARE YOU?!"

>"what do ya mean silly?"

"I mean one minute you're all sweet and nurturing then the next you become a demanding violent bitch please excuse the french you're confusing me!"

>She then looks concern you can see the fear in her eyes,

>"Oh...no."

>She runs to the bathroom to look at herself you of course follow her to see what she's up to but she slams door and locks it.

>"Oh shit not now! WHY NOW?!"

>She opens the door and looks at you and says

>"Anon ah gotta go...ah'll be back in a few days...you're not safe around me...well at least not now, Ah'll explain everything when ah return."

>She walks up to you and give you a peck on a cheek.

>"This is goodbye for now Anon. h love...Ah gotta go."

>She begins to tear up and just runs out of the house.

 

>You felt so relieved you kind of wish she had made that cup of coffee first. But hey she's gone you're life isn't in danger anymore in fact you're surprised you still breathing after calling her a bitch.

>From all this stressful mental insanity you just need to relax this your break anyway.  

>You go downstairs turned on the tele and your favorite show is on "Judge Rudy." and a 10 hour marathon.

>You then open your secret cabinet to get some of the strongest "cannabis" and rolled one up and watch Judge Ruby and getting high while doing it.

>About 7 hours pass and your a fucking cloudwalker not giving a shit about shit then you hear a knock at the door.

 

>You open it and it's Dash and Twilight.

>The only business they seem to always get into is yours.

"Ugh what is it? Now you decide to knock on my door fuck."

>"Well we just heard Applejack ran off into the woods with tears in her eyes what did YOU do?" said Rainbow Dash.

"pffft implying I had something to do with her crying she said she's gotta go for a few days and she'll explain when she returns so in the meantime I'm just chillin watching my favorite show TRYING to relax here. This has been one hectic week so far a little peace and quiet would be ni-.."

>"How about a massage Anon? I've got the magic hooves remember? If relaxing is what you're looking for."

>Smiling so sweetly you never really got to know Twilight that well so why not?

"You know what? that actually sounds nice and Dash let me guess you want to chill on my bed am I right?"

>"YES pleeeeaaase?" you start laughing you're high ass off Twilight and Dash are just looking at you like you're broken or something.

"You know what Dash? go ahead I'm not using it right now knock yourself out just don't go through my pony porn. I have it organized in this uber elaborate system that nopony can crack."

>"Did you just say uber? Eh who cares to the bed of AWESOME."

>Rainbow Dash takes off toward your bedroom.

>"OMC it's SOOO comfortable where did you get this bed?"

>"ummm Anon are you ok? you seem different more joyful you'd be pulling your hair out about now from us driving you crazy."

"Whaaaaat? nonsense Twi hell you're welcome here anytime why are you so adorable and purple?! you're so purple!"

>Twilight more confused as ever.

>"Ummm mind if I invite Fluttershy?"

"Sure thing I don't care...hey WAIT A MINUTE...Twilight could you please buy some snacks PLEASE I'm starving."

>You hand her a huge wad of bits.

>"Now go forth purple pony! Don't return without the goods or I will banish you from my property."

>"Ummm ooook? sure thing....weirdo." she leaves with just a confusion dictating her mind.

>"Something is off here,hmmmm."

>You go back to watching your show just having a blast about 20 minutes later you hear the door opens it's Twilight and Fluttershy at this point you don't even give a shit.

>"Anon I bring forth back what you have requested. Hey what's that smell?"

>"Anon! What is that smell? Have you been playing with matches or something? I don't want you burning your house down mister."

>Fluttershy being a worry wart.

>You panic you think they know so you kind of play it off.

"Smell? What smell? I don't smell a smell that need be smelled upon they just want to free! Oi where's the snacks?!"

>Twilight hooves you 5 bags of sodas, chips, and candy filled to the brim of each bag, start tearing up a bit from this event.

>"Hey Anon you ok?"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE you're awesome in fact I'm gonna give you a seal of mothafuckin' approval seriously feel free to just drop by anytime I know you already do but you now have my permission."

>Twilight blushes

>"Thanks Anon! You're fucking awesome."

>She so happy her smile is contagious but not as much as Pinkie's that time and space bending pony.

>Fluttershy a bit suspicious she flutters over to you inspecting you, you try not to panic.

"Anon what's that smell? it's all over your clothes".

"OH for fuck sake it's nothing!"

>You run upstair to you bedroom open your closet and change clothes in a blink of an eye. >"Anon? huh..must be seeing things oh Celestia this bed is awesome."

>You dash back downstairs.

>Fluttershy takes a closer look at you and sees your eyes.

>"Why are you eyes red Anon don't you get enough sleep at night?"

"My eyes are red because I need eye drops."

>"Why do you need eye drops mister?"

"Because my eyes are red."

>"OK THAT's it WHAT did Applejack to do you?! She raped you endlessly while we were gone huh? poured lemon juice in your eyes? What did she do?!"

>Fluttershy seemed to be very protective of you.

>You start to laugh right in her face rolling on the floor laughing.

"Oh fuck stop Fluttershy! My sides hurt you're making me laugh!"

>"Did she slip something in your food? she's pure evil ya know."

"Ok first off Fluttershy I wish she would try to rape me it's been a fantasy of mine I hope one day will be fulfilled and second she didn't squeeze lemon juice in my eye because I don't keep lemons in my house and third she had nothing to do with my current state of mind and she didn't slip anything in my food or drinks now I will not answer any further questions."

> You grab 3 bags of chips and soda and some candy bars and walked up stairs to your bedroom.

>"Oh my I hope he doesn't get a tummy ache. Twilight you are right something is wrong, but don't worry I have a plan you still have that secret magic lotion potion?"

 

>Meanwhile you and your Rainbro are just chatting and eating snacks.

>"So then I'm like fuck you I can do the Rainboom and proved it and ever since he's never called me Rainbow Crash hell he worships the ground I walk on. Pass the chips dude."

>As you and Rainbow Dash just laughing and telling stories about a hour and a half later Twilight and Fluttershy walks in.

>"Hey Anon..you ready for that massage? I've got this awesome lotion that releases the tension in any part of your body."

"I thought you'd never ask I swear you've got the magic touch."

>"So Anon get on your stomach. Oh do you mind if Fluttershy watches?"

"Nah I don't mind at all just no funny business I'm WATCHING YOU Flutters."

>You lay on your stomach as Twilight climbs on your bed.

>She lifts your shirt off and starts massaging you which is pretty nice and lotion does wonders.

"Damn feels so good. You know I gotta say I always suspected Fluttershy to be good at this sort of thing."

>"Actually I am...Twilight is my student in the art of massaging, Hey Anon can I ask a question?" Fluttershy says.

"Permission granted lemon quiet pony."

>"Who was the first among me and my friends did you masturbated to?"

"That's an odd question but it was you if you must know."

>"Really me? I had no idea you found me that attractive, what is it about me that turns you on?"

>You begin to grow a little suspicious about these questions not only that you're being honest with her but you can't stop being honest. Why?

"Mmmm...that flank, it's so soft. Then you're lips sometimes I have dreams of you wrapping your lips around my dick sucking nice and slowly and your mane I wanna stain it with my love batter."

>What the hell? Why did you say that? You wanted to say you'll never tell but why tell her? thanks to that she's blushing

>"Ummm I need to use the bathroom."

>Fluttershy leaves the room.

 

>"Ok yo did you just tell Fluttershy you have dreams of her blowing you and you whacked off to her to? Anon what's gotten into you? Damn you better hope Applejack doesn't find out." said Rainbow Dash just before she chugs a can of soda.

>You think there must be some foul play but what? Maybe it's the lotion might as well ask Twilight about it.

"What kind of lotion is this anyway Twi?"

>"So glad you asked Anon it's a special lotion when rubbed or applied to the skin it forces them to tell the truth...oops."

>It seems that the lotion is a 2 way street now if you can just get some on Fluttershy so you took some off your arms and wait for her to come back.

>She returns and she just blushing and smiling she asks "So I'm hot huh? I bet you want some of this right now am I right?"

"Yes I do actually I'm trying keep my raging boner under control can I please just slap dat flank?"

>"Well I suppose so I can't stand seeing you suffer."

>So she turns around with her ass right in your face

>"Go on Anon this is the only time you'll ever touch it".

>You smack her flank and rub the truth serum lotion on her

>"EEP..Oho Anon mmm you naughty little discord you."

"Fluttershy mind if I ask you a question?"

>"oh...ok sure..."

"Do you have feelings for me?"

>She blushes "YES I DO! all I ever wanted to do was be with you! but Applejack got in the way!"

"Is Applejack evil?"

>"Well not Applejack but I think her other personality Snapplejack is." Then it all made sense, why she was so hot and cold so suddenly.

>"pffft..I could've told you that Anon.."Twilight says as she massages you.

>"Anon, do you think me and you could ever be together? I really do like you."

>Awww how cute Flutters has a crush.

"Who knows? Me and Applejack are a thing right now which means I shouldn't even be having this conversation with y'all, let me ask you and Twilight a question?"

>"Sure ok...",

>"ok but no more sex questions while I'm massaging you I have the urge to rape you."

>Twi wut?

"Oh wow Twilight ok, now for my question what's a fantasy that you wish could come true."

>"Oh that's easy have a threesome with you and Applejack she always knew how to please me and you I must have."

"Damn Fluttershy you little freak maybe we can make that happen when Applejack comes back, and you Twi?"

>"I want to be your servant and fulfill your every need. DAMN IT Anon I said no sex questions."

"Ok, I'm dreaming right? and it wasn't I just said fantasy not SEX fantasy there's a difference."

>"No dude you're not dreaming you're just horny from Twilight massaging you. Like really dude I hope Applejack doesn't find out what's happened here."

>Dash is such a bro.

>Your relaxed long enough high as hell and would tell the brutal truth if need be.

>Your eyes start getting heavy but you don't want to go to sleep with snacks all over the bed.

"Ok Twi that's enough I gotta clean up a little bit in here."

>You gather the snacks then go downstairs to the kitchen and put them up Rainbow Dash the bro that she is was nice enough to help you out too.

>Once you were done with that you turn off the tv and head upstairs to you room where Fluttershy and Twilight are just chatting. You just climb in bed.

>"Can we stay the night Anon?"

"Yeah you can Flutters. Twi well you know you're always welcomed here so you don't even have to ask and you too Dash"

>You turn off the light gather the covers and get comfortable Twilight and Fluttershy snuggle and cuddle up next you Fluttershy in front of you and Twilight behind you just relaxing and Rainbow Dash doses off on the edge.

>"Ahhh...this is nice...so warm."

>Then Twilight decides to be slick she starts kissing you on your neck then Fluttershy starts teasing your dick with her flank, you want to fight them off but you're too tired and high.

"Both of you just...please...I'm too tired to even..."

>"Sshhh let this happen Anon that is if it won't bother you."

"It will."

>"Oh,Hey Anon.."

"What?"

>"I have one more question for you, if you don't mind that is."

"Alright what?"

>"What caused you to act so happy and hungry?"

"Oh I just smoked some herb that relaxes me that's all. You should try it."

>"Oh ok and ummm no."

"Hey wait,who's gonna make the coffee?"

>"I will, anything for you Anon. Again I can't thank you enough for buying those books for me." Twilight says.

>So you finally crash trying to keep from temptation it's a wonder why none of them just went for it huh maybe they have some kind of respect for others or just scared shitless of "Snapplejack" even that bit of information gives you the creeps.