Title:           Bump Pone One shot collection
Author:          jchallo83
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/y8as56LD
First Edit:      Friday 18th of April 2014 08:27:36 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Friday 12th of August 2016 04:06:54 AM CDT

Since Flutterrape has been nothing but bumps lately, I decided to write some occasional Bump stories with "Bump" being an actual pony.
I tend to do that kind of thing a lot.
Welp, don't fix what isn't broken.
===
>Day Bump experiments in Equestria.
>This is it.
>The day you successfully create a bump.
>You're in your basement slash lab that's full of fog lying on the ground and bubbling cylinders.
>Having a corked test tube in hand, you carefully put it over the Bunsen burner to heat up the chemical 'B'.
>You're barely able to contain your excitement as the clear blue contents get closer to the cork, ready to burst.
>With your safety glasses and hazard mask on, you're not sweating it.
>The glass of the test tube makes a snap.
>Then a crackle.
>Then a violent pop loud enough to make you jump backwards into the table of your other experiments.
>Falling over that table, your ears gets flooded with a series of glass shattering and liquids splashing.
>Smoke overwhelming your field of vision and even though your have a mask, you're still coughing.
"FUCKING DAMN IT!" You manage to shout after your fits of coughing.
>Course, this was your fault, you're a bit wasted.
>Probably wasn't a good idea to play The Mad Scientist at two in the morning while you're buzzin'.
 
 
>You struggle to get on your feet, thankfully you're unharmed.
>After the smoke cleared, your eyes make out a pony-like figure.
>Hooves stepping on the concrete floor and coughing take you by surprise.
>"UUuuuuuuunnnnnn. Bump. Bump."
"What?"
>You walk over to the unknown entity you've created.
>You see a female earth, purple fur, lighter purple eyes and a few white highlights in her dark purple mane.
>"Bump bump?"
"Uuuh, yeah?"
>"Hehehehe! Bump! BUMP!"
>It tackles you for a hug, wrapping it's forlegs around your neck.
>For a moment, you tear up.
>Looks like you have a new responsibility.
"I think I'll call you... Bumpy."
>"Nuh-uh! Bumpu!"
"Oh... okay, Bumpu then."
>"BUMP!"
 
 
>To your surprise, Bumpu has some intellect.
>For right now, you and her are in your kitchen getting ready to eat.
>You thought it best to give her some salad.
>She's eating it in content, so no complaints.
>You on the other hand, tired from being up so late, you decided to crash on the couch.
>When your face hit the soft pillow, you hear Bumpu's hoofsteps approach you.
>"Bump?"
>You turn your face toward her.
"Yes?"
>"Bumpy bump hump."
"Hm?"
>Bumpy bump hump!"
"I don't follow."
>She lets out a frustrated sigh before pushing at your shoulder to get you on your back.
"Bumpu, what are you doing?"
>"Bump hump."
"Wait bump hump? As in--ooooh."
>Duh Anon
>Damn this thing doesn't beat around the bush does it?
>You'll have to decline, you just wanted to create bump for the thread, not a companion.
>"Bumpu want bump hump!"
>Oh dear God it's learning!
"No. Now go eat your food."
>She frowns then sets her front hooves back on the floor.
>She does what you tell her, shortly after you can hear her get back in her chair and eat.
>Then it hit you that the vegetable in your fridge might not be fresh.
>Oh dear.
 
 
>Your eyes flutter open later that day, about eleven, close to noon.
>It hits you that you've got something in your house that could be causing havoc.
>As well as your lab that's now a biological hazard, probably.
>You roll off the couch and shoot to the basement, worried what's to come.
>Only to find Bumpu reading an old chemistry book on the floor, giggling.
>Looking around you take note that the chemicals are still lying on the floor.
>There's a blue puddle of liquid next to her.
>From the clear blue look of it, it's possibly chemical 'B'.
>Which brings up the question, shouldn't Bumpu be clear blue and not purple?
>Oh well, probably a chemical reaction with other chemicals.
"Bumpu?"
>She looks up at you then back to the book after making a 'hmph' sound.
>Seems she's upset you're not going to let her get the D.
>She's a fucking bump for crying out loud.
"Bumpu, upstairs," you say, pointing at the flight of stairs.
>She glares at you for a period of time, crosses her front legs and blows her mane out of her face.
>"No!"She shouts, her gaze unyielding.
>Welp, you don't have time for this nonsense, you're still sleep dazed and you've got things to do.
>You also have a pony to talk to.
 
 
>"I dunno, Anonymous, I... I've never seen anything like this. How did you-"
"Chemical B mixed with the wrong things, slighty drunk, late at night, how could it NOT happen?"
>Twilight is down right confused how you were able to create a pony from scratch.
>Bumpu sits on a stool while Twilight further examines her.
"So, when are you gonna use the doctor popsicle stick thingy?"
>Twilight rolls her eyes at you.
>"It's called a tongue depressor, Anon."
"Well, you would know."
>Twilight poofs a 'tongue depressor' out of thin air and a flashlight.
>"Bumpu, say 'aaaaah'."
>"Aaaaah~"
>Now that Bumpu's mouth is open, Twilight gives her mouth a good look over, deep in thought.
>"Interesting, everything is fully developed, tastebuds, saliva, teeth, everything. Almost like you made an instant pony."
>She pulls away and gently pats Bumpu's shoulder and gives her a welcoming smile.
>For a second, you saw a blue magical wave run it's course from Bumpu's shoulder Twilight touched and it fades instantly.
>You raise an eyebrow but quickly dismiss what your eyes may have saw.
>"Welcome to P0nyville, Bumpu."
>Bumpu giggles, hiding her mouth with a hoof.
>Twilight turns to you, "I'll be stopping by every now and then to check up on her. Keep her out of trouble okay?"
"Alright."
>"Why don't you and her visit me on the weekends? I could teach her a few things."
"Sounds good."
>"Alrighty, I'll see you later Anon, I've got to report this to Celestia."
"WHOA!"
>Twilight and Bumpu jump from the sudden shout, Twilight clearly confused.
"Let's not do that."
 
 
>"Why not?"
"I don't want her to know about Bumpu, Sunny D Celly hates me and will do anything to make my life hell."
>"Well, if you stop calling her Sunny D Celly, she wouldn't mess with you so much. I mean, you really summoned her so she can bless your house during Estrus, really?"
"This may come as a shock to you, but I don't like getting raped."
>She rolls her eyes, "anyways, I'll be going now."
"Bye dork."
>She glares at you with the intent to murder, her stare fixed on you while she walks to your door.
>"Very funny, Anon."
>"BYE DORK!" Bumpu, shouts.
>Twilight groans in irritation while she stomps out of your place
>You burst out laughing when you turned around to Bumpu, nodding in approval.
"I like you, Bumpu."
>Her ears perk up and a smile grows then she tilts her head.
>"Bumpu Bump hump?"
"No."
>"Awwww!"
>You walk over to the door to close it since Egghead Eggplant didn't bother from her Jim Jams being bunched.
>Suddenly a cup that was flung shatters next to you.
>You whip around to see what the hell caused that.
>A plate comes flying at your head, thankfully you duck down just in time.
"What the hell?"
>You straighten back up and see Bumpu now with a horn on her forehead and levitating a chair.
"Bumpu, put that down, this isn't 'pro' wrestling."
>"Bumpu want bump hump!"
>Oh fuck what the fuck just happened, what did you get into and how the fuck do you fix it?