Asshole Anon in Equestria - First Day

Asshole Anon in Equestria - First Day

 

>You find yourself in quite the... predicament.

>You don't want to admit to yourself that you aren't in Kansas anymore.

>Firstly, because you weren't in Kansas to begin with.

>Secondly, because you don't like to be wrong.

>This statement has been plaguing you for the past 5 minutes.

>So much so that you stopped your aimless wandering and just sat down, attempting to figure it out.

>In your musings, you fail to notice the cyan colored blot trailing rainbows flying around the sky above you.

>Rainbow doesn't fail to notice you sitting there.

>She stops suddenly, flapping her wings and staring at you.

>You hear it.

>The fucking buzzing of a god damned bug.

"FUCK THIS SHIT!"

>You get up and flail your arms wildly, searching for any form of weapon for you to use.

>There, you see it.

>A rock resting on the soft earth.

>Rainbow just scratches her head as the... monkey... flails about and runs in circles.

>You stop.

>Take a deep breath.

>GRABTHEROCKANDTHROWTHATSHIT.

>Good thing that fucking cyan insect wasn't expecting it.

>You hit it squarely in what you think is its head.

>It falls into the trees, making a loud crashing noise.

"Ten points!"

>You shoot your fist into the sky and then bring it down.

"Come to think of it... that was a pretty stupid bug. I should check it."

>You start to head off in the direction that it hit the ground in.

"Why am I talking to myself, it's not like anyone is readi-listening to me."

 

>You slap some branches out of your face and enter the clearing created from the insects crash.

>Lying in the middle of the clearing, stars floating above its head is the insect.

"Oh GOD... it's HIDEOUS.... Although I am pretty hungry...."

>You inch closer and poke at it with your foot.

>You took your shoes off as you didn't want to dirty them with this insects filth.

>You could wash your toe.

>Shoes took FOR GOD DAMNED EVER to dry.

>Even when you set them under a fucking heater.

>That shit never works.

>They always just turn warm and never really dry and then give that 'squish' noise when you walk.

"FUCK I HATE WET SHOES."

>You have all but forgotten about the insect lying in the clearing.

>"Wha... what happened?"

"Holy shit it... it...."

>You grab a hanging branch and snap it from the tree.

"It didn't die!"

>You break the branch over the insects head.

>You walk up to it and grab it by its hind legs and drag it through toe forest towards a stream you found.

>Whistling a merry tune as you do so.

>You arrive at the aforementioned stream after a smooth walk.

>It wasn't as smooth for the insect you were dragging.

>Its hair and fur is in a horrible disarray.

>Good thing you don't want to eat the fur and hair.

>What are you... uncivilized.

"Hah! As if. I am the pinnac-I'm doing it again! Stop it!"

>You attempt to slap yourself, but miss and instead hit the insect in the muzzle.

 

>You strip down and wade out into the stream, dragging your dinner behind you.

>Lifting it above the water you realize that it is quite light.

"Hmm... must have hollow bones and all for flying. I probably could've carried it and inconvenienced myself less than dragging it. Oh well."

>Laughing, you dunk the insect into the water and pull it out.

>The 'insect' wakes up and starts to spit out water.

"This su-"

>You dunk it again.

"-ite the tas-"

>And again.

"eal."

>Rainbow just looks at you. Her face conveying the message of 'What the fuck guy.'

>You smile at the insect and dunk it under the water again.

>Rainbow starts to flail around.

>You hold its head under the water for good measure, inspecting the nails of your left hand.

>Her hoof connects with your right hand and she breaks away, breaking the surface and taking a deep breath.

"You are awake! I'm so glad you're alive! I was worried when you hit that branch you hurt yourself."

>You grab Rainbow in a massive bear hug and hold her to your chest.

>"Uhh... wh-what happened? You must be the thing I saw from the sky...."

>Still holding her to your chest, you grab one of her wings and extend it.

".... Not much meat on the bones...."

>"What're you doing back there?"

>You drop her wing and hold her wet, dripping form out at arms length.

"You saw me from the sky? You mean that rainbow was you?"

>"Yeah. It's cause I'm so fast and all."

"Fast? Fuck no, that was slow as shit. I've seen faster runs in my shorts."

>You giggle like a thirteen year old school girl at your joke and drop the insect into the water before walking back to shore.

 

>Rainbow swims to the shore and shakes her mane out.

"Da fuck guy? I was dry a minute ago. Now I'm soaking wet. Some people...."

>You shake your head and look over at the insect angrily.

>Rainbow just gives you a flat look.

>You just give her an annoyed look back.

>"So, uh... thanks for washing me off I guess."

"But of course! I always clean my food before I eat it."

>"Wh-what?"

>She is so stunned by surprise that she doesn't react for a second.

>It's all the time you need.

>Before Rainbow can react you have her by the waist and proceed to eat.

>You hold one of her hind legs up and start to gnaw on it.

>She starts to struggle... but alas, it is in vain.

>A blush comes to her face and her wing stiffen up.

>Apparently she likes being man-handled.

>"St-stop it!"

>You ignore this insects protests as you continue to gnaw on her leg.

>Her legs are flailing about more and more, but this dissuades you none.

>"Le-let me g-go!"

"Muh!"

>You attempt to say 'No!' through your teeth, but it doesn't quite work out.

>You steadily move up her leg until you get to the joint.

>It's quite boney here so you spit it out and move further up.

>You notice a strange mark on her flank.

"Bueno!"

>You gently quest towards it with your tongue and lick it.

>It tastes like salt and the stream you just washed this insect in.

>"N-no!"

>She isn't struggling as much now, and you take the opportunity to bit down on her cutie mark.

>She gasps in pleasure as a sensitive part of her body is stimulated.

>It's chewy.

>....

>This is getting you nowhere.

 

>Doing what your parents told you not to do, you spit your food out.

"I cannot eat this! It's not even cooked!"

>Rainbow's face is flushed and she is twitching.

>The water of your leg feels wet...er.

"Ewwwww...."

>You toss the trash aside and she lands on a pile of leaves.

>They stick to her soaked mare... body.

"Seeing as how you can speak. Is there anyplace nearby that I could get some food."

>You poke the insect with your foot again.

>Rainbow is unconscious.

>....

"Well... seeing as how she came from a south-southwest-erly direction, I think I wi-I NEED TO STOP TALKING TO THE REA-MYSELF.

>Not knowing what else to do you pull some vines off a nearby tree and make a harness out of them.

>You make a bit out of a 'bit' of wood.

>You slip the harness over the insects back and position it over her wings.

>They will make a comfy seat.

>You slip the bit into its mouth and stand back.

>Admiring your work you make a rope out of the vines.

>You stand the insect on on its four legs and sit on its back, lashing yourself down.

>You then stand up, the insect dangling between your legs.

>You're giggling like a thirteen year old school girl again.

>You just stand there, a blank look on your face as you wait for the insect to wake up and carry you to the town.

 

>Eventually Rainbow wakes up.

>Her legs are dangling beneath her.

>"WH-what's happening?!?"

"Mush!"

>You sit down and the insects scrambling legs barely hold your weight.

>"What do you th-"

>You pull back on the bit in its mouth.

"I said MUSH!"

>You stand up and start hopping through the forest.

>You pretend you are riding a horse.

>Giggling to yourself the whole way.

>Rainbow can't speak through the bit and can only take the abuse as you whip her around to clear the under brush.

>Your soaked clothes dry quickly, luckily for you you have a nice absorbent insect between your legs.

>You reach back and slap her flank.

>Rainbow gasps in pleasure through the bit.

>She starts to move her legs in an attempt to run.

>You happily oblige her.

>Sitting down, she catches your weight easily and takes off.

>You make a mental connection between strange mark on flank and doing as told.

"Perfect."

>You slap her flank again and she moves faster than Fluttershy at an Abused Animal Convention.

>What the fuck is that even?

>You break from the forest and see a town in the distance.

"Oh FUCK what is that yellow thing? Oh GOD! Another insect! I can hear the buzzing!"

 

>You dig your feet into the ground and halt the, still sprinting, Rainbow.

>Fluttershy's wings lock tight into her body and she falls to the ground.

>A, rather quiet, 'eep' escapes her.

>Had you not been so intent on DESTROYING THE FUCKING INSECTS you might've d'awwww'd.

"Sick em, boy!"

>You slap the insect's flank between your legs and release the knot holding it in place.

>Rainbow takes off like a cyan bullet and slams into Fluttershy.

"It's like I know what I'm doing!"

>You swag over to the two insects.

>There might be people around, time to engage SWAG.

>You put your hands to your collar and pop it.

>Repeating the motion you do it again.

>And once more for good measure.

>You are currently sporting three popped collars, no shoes, khaki shorts and 5 shell necklaces.

>No one can stop your SWAG.

>Your trained insect has the other insect pinned.

>"O-oh Rainbow... wh-what are you d-doing here? A-and who is your... h-h-h-h-h-"

"FUCKING SAY IT ALREADY!"

>Fluttershy 'eeps' again and Rainbow turns to look at you, a scowl on her... face?

>"Don't yell at Flutter-"

"My pet will not talk back to me!"

>You start to vigorously rub her flank.

>Rainbow's eyes roll into the back of her head and her legs start to wobble.

>You turn to Fluttershy.

"So insect... where might I find food around here?"

>"Pl-please stop th-that. Rainbow Dash doesn't like i-it."

>You raise an eyebrow and turn to this 'Rainbow Dash.'

"Its name is Rainbow Dash? And here I thought it was just an insect."

 

>"O-oh no. Rainbow is a Pegasus Pone... ju-just like me."

>Insect number two bats her eyelash's at you.

>You just stare at her.

"Pone's you say?"

>"Y-yes. She is a Pegasus Pone... a-and I am too."

>She moves closer to you and turns her flank to you.

>"Y-you could rub my flank... i-if you wanted too...."

>You just look at her.

"Sorry, but I just need food."

>JUST THEN, a Rabbit darted from the bush's and stood.

>Staring into your very soul.

"Well hello, you delicious morsel you."

>You lunge for the Rabbit and catch it easily.

>Its guard was down.

>You lift it to your mouth, not even caring that it still had fur.

>You remember the taste of 'Rainbow's' fur... it was pretty good.

>You start to bite down on its foot.

>"Stop right there, Mister!"

>Your teeth are biting into the foot of the Rabbit, who is squirming in your grip.

>"You will NOT eat Angel today!"

>Her eyes.

 

>You blink and shake your head.

>You look around you.

>You are in a a house.

>A bedroom to be exact and you are bound and gagged.

-Did I get lucky last night? Was that all a dream?-

>You look around again, attempting to piece together your thoughts.

>"O-oh... you're awake. How... nice."

>Whoever put this gag in did a shitty job of it as you work it from your mouth.

"Hello."

>The question catches her off guard as she climbs onto the bed with you.

>"H-hello Mister."

"Call me Anon."

>You bat your eyes at her.

"And I must say... I quite like where this is going.... But...."

>She pauses again.

>She is slowly creeping towards your groin.

>"But?"

"But... if you wanted to enjoy my... member... all you had to do was ask."

>"O-oh.... I-is that your fetish?"

"Wh-Y-yes. Yes it is."

>The question catches you off guard, but you quickly recover.

"I've been up for quite a while and will not... perform... at my peak if you do something now. Perhaps we could just... cuddle? Then continue tomorrow."

>Your mind is racing faster every minute.

>"Oh... that would be splendid. I spent the day wo-"

>You filter her voice out and close your eyes. Sleep coming quickly.

>Good thing too, as Fluttershy went on for another two hours about her day and what she did.

 

Fin.