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DE Skype 2

By: heidi666 on Jan 9th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 18.14 KB  |  hits: 48  |  expires: Never
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  1. [21:51:05] Bartl3by: Have I actually pushed DE to it's limits by actually committing beastiality
  2. [21:51:12] Bartl3by: instead of ust joking
  3. [21:51:21] Smudge Proof: You are my hero
  4. [21:51:29] A Racist Zebra: On what, dogs? Horses?
  5. [21:51:43] Bartl3by: two dogs, one calf.
  6. [21:51:45] Smudge Proof: A calf is fine too
  7. [21:51:53] A Racist Zebra: lol, fucking sweet
  8. [21:52:02] Smudge Proof: calf: sucky?
  9. [21:52:17] Bartl3by: come to think of it, rat would probably be impressed as well.
  10. [21:52:31] Bartl3by: And yes, they were ALL sucky.
  11. [21:52:34] A Racist Zebra: She would
  12. [21:52:47] Raindrops: impressed.jpg
  13. [21:52:49] Bartl3by: shall I tell you the details?
  14. [21:52:53] Bartl3by: I want to
  15. [21:52:56] Bartl3by: really badly
  16. [21:53:01] A Racist Zebra: Do you even need to ask?
  17. [21:53:05] Bartl3by: Im getting hard just remembering it
  18. [21:53:09] Smudge Proof: you cocktease
  19. [21:53:12] Smudge Proof: you horrid person
  20. [21:53:18] A Racist Zebra: TELL TELL!
  21. [21:53:24] Raindrops: im all ears
  22. [21:53:32] Bartl3by: Okay, I shall tell them in order.
  23. [21:53:53] Smudge Proof: I've got to go now, but I will read it
  24. [21:54:38] Bartl3by: I have been interested in boning non-humans for several years, but I only managed to go through with a few months ago
  25. [21:55:00] Mellen: hehehe
  26. [21:55:50] Bartl3by: By "go through with" I mean "actually have an orgasm."
  27. [21:55:57] Bartl3by: Anyway.
  28. [21:56:33] Bartl3by: It was a few months ago. My father's entire side of the family lives on a dairy farm.
  29. [21:57:05] Bartl3by: Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, they all live in one house or within a few miles
  30. [21:57:45] A Racist Zebra: And?
  31. [21:57:50] A Racist Zebra: keep going
  32. [21:58:19] Bartl3by: And they have a dog. Female, one year old, named Fergie.
  33. [21:58:26] Bartl3by: Black lab.
  34. [21:59:02] Bartl3by: She's really cute, always excited when we show up. Jumps up on me, runs around in circles, always wants to play.
  35. [21:59:21] Bartl3by: Also, like most dogs, rather "orally-fixated" shall we say.
  36. [22:00:21] Bartl3by: I'd wanted to see if I get her to suck me off for a while at that point, so I finally manned up and did it.
  37. [22:01:04] Bartl3by: (Did I seriously just use the phrase "man up" to describe beastiality? lol)
  38. [22:01:27] A Racist Zebra: lol
  39. [22:01:34] A Racist Zebra: brb taking a piss
  40. [22:01:36] MISSINGNO.: Yeah, you didn't puss out.
  41. [22:02:03] Bartl3by: At a point when everyone else was preoccupied with family shit, I went outside.
  42. [22:03:00] Bartl3by: Fergie, while allowed indoors, is usually kept outside in a large enclosure that they used to keep chickens in.
  43. [22:03:21] Bartl3by: It's got a jungle gym for her and the kids, lot's of space.
  44. [22:04:11] Bartl3by: So I went inside the fence, and of course she was jumping up on me and licking my face.
  45. [22:05:11] Bartl3by: I petted her for a while until she wasn't quite so full of energy, and then I lead her over to a space that can only be described as an alley.
  46. [22:05:54] Bartl3by: In the sense that it was a small space between the huge equipment shed and the even more huge barn.
  47. [22:07:02] Mellen: you dragged her into an alley and raped her
  48. [22:07:42] Bartl3by: There was no way anyone could see what we were doing unless they came right up to the mouth of the alley.
  49. [22:08:27] Bartl3by: And if they did, I'd hear them and be able to get my dick back in my jeans.
  50. [22:08:43] heidi: lawl
  51. [22:09:15] Bartl3by: So anyway I brought her over there and got on my knees.
  52. [22:09:24] A Racist Zebra: And, and?
  53. [22:09:33] Bartl3by: Naturally she began to lick my face.
  54. [22:09:42] heidi: this is great
  55. [22:10:28] Bartl3by: I unzipped and whipped it out. At that point I was only half-hard because I was nervous about getting caught.
  56. [22:11:12] Bartl3by: When Ferge got tired of my face she saw my dick and got curious.
  57. [22:11:35] Bartl3by: Just a few licks and I was painfully hard.
  58. [22:12:01] A Racist Zebra: OoOoO Boy, keep going
  59. [22:12:08] Bartl3by: (anyone else ever have that? a dick so hard it kinda hurts?
  60. [22:12:20] MISSINGNO.: You're a desperate little slut.
  61. [22:12:33] Bartl3by: oh yes i am
  62. [22:12:37] A Racist Zebra: We all are, keep going
  63. [22:12:45] Mellen: I'm sure every male who doesn't have problems getting an erection in the first place has experienced that at some point
  64. [22:12:52] Bartl3by: OK FINE JEEZ
  65. [22:13:00] Bartl3by: FUCK ME FOR BUILDING A MOMENT
  66. [22:13:08] MISSINGNO.: he's buildi-
  67. [22:13:10] MISSINGNO.: yeah
  68. [22:14:28] Bartl3by: She licked for a while and it was awesome. Sometimes she would get bored and lick my face agan or give me this look like she wanted me to pet her.
  69. [22:15:41] Bartl3by: But usually all I had to do was kinda push my dick near her face with my hips and she'd be all WAG WAG DICKS WAG SLURP
  70. [22:16:46] Bartl3by: Couldn't keep it up forever though. She was a dog, sure, but licking something still gets boring after a while.
  71. [22:17:12] heidi: (y)
  72. [22:17:44] Bartl3by: And plus, as awesome as the licks were, and as much as the fuckedup nature of what I was doing made it even more awesoem;
  73. [22:18:05] A Racist Zebra: (clap)
  74. [22:18:10] Bartl3by: I knew wasn't going to come from idle licking, no matter how long she took.
  75. [22:18:22] Bartl3by: ohstopityou.jpeg
  76. [22:19:02] Bartl3by: But did Bartl3by give up? No!
  77. [22:19:13] Bartl3by: He hatched a plan.
  78. [22:19:37] Bartl3by: I went back inside and got some butter.
  79. [22:19:52] heidi: this gets even better
  80. [22:19:57] heidi: go on
  81. [22:20:05] Bartl3by: Or margarine. Or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. whatevs
  82. [22:20:12] Bartl3by: I grabbed the whole tub.\
  83. [22:20:27] Bartl3by: I went back out to the alley-type-place
  84. [22:21:04] Bartl3by: She was still waiting for me, looking adorable, which got me even hornier
  85. [22:21:30] Bartl3by: I knew she loved butter, so I rubbed a layer of it all over my cock.
  86. [22:21:45] heidi: then she opened the door, you both got down on the floor and walked the dinosaur
  87. [22:21:52] Bartl3by: success.jpeg
  88. [22:22:14] Bartl3by: I swear, this is what actually happened!
  89. [22:22:20] heidi: pics.
  90. [22:22:27] Bartl3by: How dare you slander me.
  91. [22:22:40] heidi: pics or it never happened
  92. [22:22:43] heidi: lets see your buttery cock
  93. [22:23:08] Bartl3by: I didn't take pics, and it was months ago.
  94. [22:23:23] Bartl3by: I could butter on my cock right now.
  95. [22:23:28] Bartl3by: Would that help?
  96. [22:23:30] heidi: thatll do, i guess
  97. [22:23:32] tgbnaomi: Yes
  98. [22:23:33] A Racist Zebra: Kinda
  99. [22:23:40] Bartl3by: gimme a sec
  100. [22:23:47] Bartl3by: then the saga continues
  101. [22:23:47] tgbnaomi: :3
  102. [22:24:16] A Racist Zebra: yay
  103. [22:46:13] Bartl3by: http://i.imgur.com/6G7RX.jpg
  104. [22:46:18] Bartl3by: well, shit.
  105. [22:46:37] Bartl3by: i forgot to use a mirror, so the text is backwards.
  106. [22:46:48] Bartl3by: but im glistening.
  107. [22:46:54] Bartl3by: that's what counts
  108. [22:46:58] heidi: wheres the butter
  109. [22:47:09] Mellen: saved for blackmail
  110. [22:47:11] Bartl3by: all over my shaft
  111. [22:47:13] heidi: ah caint see no butter
  112. [22:47:20] Bartl3by: well, ya see
  113. [22:47:20] MISSINGNO.: melted butter
  114. [22:47:26] Bartl3by: when butter gets
  115. [22:47:28] Bartl3by: hot
  116. [22:47:30] Stefan: no butter
  117. [22:47:36] Bartl3by: like if you rub it all over yourself
  118. [22:47:36] tgbnaomi: A stick of butter on your cock
  119. [22:47:37] MISSINGNO.: I see the lid of the butter
  120. [22:47:38] Bartl3by: it melsts
  121. [22:47:50] heidi: post pic of cock in butter
  122. [22:48:00] MISSINGNO.: this is serious
  123. [22:48:03] tgbnaomi: How do we know that isn't semen.?
  124. [22:49:12] Bartl3by: http://i.imgur.com/t76NO.jpg
  125. [22:49:25] Bartl3by: let me go get a stick
  126. [22:49:38] Stefan: dis gun b gud
  127. [22:51:14] A Racist Zebra: are you by any chance jewish?
  128. [22:51:35] Bartl3by: no
  129. [22:53:15] Bartl3by: it begins
  130. [22:53:18] Bartl3by: http://i.imgur.com/AzA49.jpg
  131. [22:57:51] Bartl3by: http://i.imgur.com/OivBc.jpg
  132. [22:57:58] Bartl3by: i think hat's enough
  133. [22:58:05] heidi: no way
  134. [22:58:05] A Racist Zebra: LOL
  135. [22:58:09] heidi: its not on the cock
  136. [22:58:13] heidi: butter ON cock
  137. [23:01:06] Bartl3by: http://i.imgur.com/gYORa.jpg
  138. [23:01:11] Bartl3by: there
  139. [23:01:23] Bartl3by: can we return to whats important here?
  140. [23:01:29] Bartl3by: beast stroies?
  141. [23:01:57] heidi: HAHAHAHAHAAH
  142. [23:02:03] A Racist Zebra: lol
  143. [23:02:07] Stefan: buttery cock
  144. [23:02:14] Stefan: because lube is too mainstream
  145. [23:02:26] A Racist Zebra: First shoe on head, now this
  146. [23:08:50] Bartl3by: Okay.
  147. [23:08:58] Bartl3by: Story time continues:
  148. [23:09:55] Bartl3by: Before the conversation got side-tracked by that faggot heidi, I was rubbing butter all over my dick.
  149. [23:10:13] heidi: with unsatisfactory pics, may i remind you
  150. [23:10:19] heidi: you sidetracked yourself.
  151. [23:10:26] Bartl3by: YOU MADE ME
  152. [23:10:32] Bartl3by: YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNT
  153. [23:10:41] Stefan: somebody said cunt
  154. [23:10:43] Stefan: lol
  155. [23:10:44] heidi: (devil)
  156. [23:11:01] MISSINGNO.: heidi so cool
  157. [23:11:06] Bartl3by: Anyway, Fergie fucking loved that butter.
  158. [23:11:42] Raindrops: apparently heidi does too
  159. [23:11:53] tgbnaomi: Ferg?
  160. [23:12:16] Bartl3by: She kept licking, and whenever she got it clean I just put some more on and she started over.
  161. [23:12:24] Bartl3by: Shit was, in a word, cash.
  162. [23:12:35] A Racist Zebra: Oh la-la
  163. [23:12:39] Bartl3by: (Fergie's the name of the dog.)
  164. [23:12:48] Bartl3by: (lurk moar)
  165. [23:12:59] heidi: so did you cum?
  166. [23:13:10] Bartl3by: But even that wasn't enough to make me come.
  167. [23:13:12] A Racist Zebra: don't rush it
  168. [23:13:16] A Racist Zebra: keep going
  169. [23:13:26] Bartl3by: tee hee
  170. [23:14:10] Bartl3by: It sucked, but I ralized that this blowjob was going to have be a half-and-half instead.
  171. [23:14:59] Bartl3by: I sort of got this rythm going where I would jerk myslef for a bit and then let her lick me, and so on.
  172. [23:16:06] Bartl3by: And then I just jerked until I was past the point of no return and let her lick me while I came.
  173. [23:16:51] Bartl3by: I didn't get much in her mouth (I'm not sure if I got any, to be honest), but tones landed on her face.
  174. [23:18:23] Bartl3by: Up until that point it had been underwhelming, but seeing her covered in my jizz, still wagging her tail and with her tongue hanging out, and just basically looking adorable was
  175. [23:18:26] Bartl3by: SO
  176. [23:18:29] Bartl3by: AWESOME
  177. [23:19:22] Bartl3by: Then I rubbed it off and played with her for a while.
  178. [23:19:56] Bartl3by: And that, boys and girls, is how I got a half-and-half from a dog named Fergie.
  179. [23:20:03] A Racist Zebra: (clap) I love you, you sick fuck
  180. [23:21:35] Bartl3by: Here comes Part II of Bartl3by's Saga of Experimental Zoophilia.
  181. [23:21:48] Bartl3by: Just let me get a snack or some shit.
  182. [23:21:56] A Racist Zebra: Aww yiis
  183. [23:22:31] MISSINGNO.: excellent
  184. [23:31:28] Bartl3by: Ok
  185. [23:32:12] Bartl3by: I should note that I'm saving everything for pastebin lest my tale be destroyed by the ravages of time.
  186. [23:34:27] Bartl3by: In Part II, I both mangaed to actually get head this time AND become a faggot.
  187. [23:34:36] heidi: go on.
  188. [23:36:19] Bartl3by: An older cousin of mine, we'll call him "Barnabus," announced his engagement to a woman we'll call "Tess" about a week before I came all over Fergie.
  189. [23:37:18] Bartl3by: Our family, and a whole shitload of other people, were invited to a party at my uncle's house  (we'll call him "George").
  190. [23:37:47] Bartl3by: It was alright as family events go.
  191. [23:38:45] Bartl3by: But my nuclear family, being closer to the couple than most, was invited to a bruch at that very same house the following morning.
  192. [23:38:56] Bartl3by: among some other people
  193. [23:39:49] Raindrops: spoiler: he fucked their dog
  194. [23:40:06] A Racist Zebra: shh
  195. [23:40:14] A Racist Zebra: you're ruining the mood
  196. [23:40:20] Bartl3by: Something I had learned on the long drive there was that the couple had celebrated their commitment by getting, you guessed it, a fog.
  197. [23:40:25] Bartl3by: dog
  198. [23:40:29] Bartl3by: shit
  199. [23:40:29] heidi: just cut to the part where you fuck it
  200. [23:41:12] Bartl3by: The dog was named Henry, and was a retriever/great dane mix, so he was pretty big.
  201. [23:41:19] Bartl3by: But he was a gentle giant.
  202. [23:41:57] Bartl3by: During the bruch, I noticed him running around outside.
  203. [23:42:14] Bartl3by: I was emboldened by my experience with Fergie.
  204. [23:42:22] Bartl3by: lol
  205. [23:42:37] Bartl3by: So I went outside and lead Henry into the garage.
  206. [23:43:02] TheBronyBrotherhoodOwner: somebody sees somewthing he likes
  207. [23:43:31] Bartl3by: Just like Fergie, all I had to do was whip it out and he went for it.
  208. [23:44:22] Bartl3by: But it was even better than Fergie, because his tongue was a lot bigger and he slobbered alot.
  209. [23:44:58] Bartl3by: So my whole dick was covered in saliva real fast. It was actually pretty cool. Warm and gooey.
  210. [23:45:26] Bartl3by: I even slid down my pants so my balls could get a little action.
  211. [23:45:43] Bartl3by: They were covered in spit soon too
  212. [23:46:46] Bartl3by: But I ran into the same problems with Fergie. He kept getting bored, distracted, etc, and there's only so much that licking can do.
  213. [23:47:09] Bartl3by: So this time, I actually stuck my cock in his mouth.
  214. [23:49:13] Bartl3by: Now, to do this, I did hve to hold his head still.
  215. [23:50:20] Bartl3by: But I'm fairly certain it wasn't raep. I kept him still mostly so he wouldn't turn his head or get distracted by a weird smell or whatever.
  216. [23:50:29] heidi: type faster you fucking faggot
  217. [23:50:39] Bartl3by: If he had wanted to actually get away, he could havr.
  218. [23:50:50] Bartl3by: Also:
  219. [23:51:04] Bartl3by: 1) He didn't bite.
  220. [23:51:17] Bartl3by: 2) His tail was wagging the whole time.
  221. [23:51:44] Bartl3by: 3) He wasn't scared or upset afterward, and actually wanted to play in the yard with me.
  222. [23:52:12] Bartl3by: It was god tier
  223. [23:52:19] tgbnaomi: Did you fuck his throat?
  224. [23:53:15] Bartl3by: But his snout was large anough for it to still be good.
  225. [23:53:18] tgbnaomi: Would you f*** a pitbulls throat
  226. [23:53:24] Bartl3by: no
  227. [23:53:28] Bartl3by: i value my d
  228. [23:54:14] tgbnaomi: Well mine doesn't bite
  229. [23:54:40] Bartl3by: Between his tongue still lapping against the bottom, and my head going up against the roof of his mouth, it was way better than just licking.
  230. [23:55:09] Bartl3by: After that, I just went for it and came within a minute.
  231. [23:55:33] Bartl3by: He swallowed all of it, though some spilled on the ground.
  232. [23:55:44] Bartl3by: Dogs will eat anything, I guess.
  233. [23:56:13] Bartl3by: Then we played fetch for a few minutes.
  234. [23:56:21] Mellen: what the shit
  235. [23:56:31] Bartl3by: I ate a hearty meal of eggs and bacon.
  236. [23:56:38] Mellen: is it weird that I thought the first one was hawt but this one is just wat
  237. [23:56:56] Bartl3by: What measure is a dog-fucker?
  238. [23:57:22] Bartl3by: And I talked with my cousin the whole time.
  239. [23:57:48] Bartl3by: No idea I made his dog into an official faggot.
  240. [23:58:03] Bartl3by: And this concludes Part III.
  241. [23:59:20] heidi: part II faggot.
  242. [23:59:25] Bartl3by: oops
  243. [23:59:42] Bartl3by: For Part III we return to the farm.
  244. [00:02:31] Bartl3by: My whole life I have searched in vain for true camaraderie. Who knew I might gain it by cumming in dogs and telling people about it?
  245. [00:03:55] Bartl3by: As I was saying, Part III was back at the farm. This was only like, three weeks ago
  246. [00:04:15] Bartl3by: Or four
  247. [00:04:32] Bartl3by: Going there, I was planning to have more fun times with Fergie.
  248. [00:05:12] Bartl3by: But my dipshit younger cousins kept following me and bothering me.
  249. [00:05:29] Bartl3by: Also, it was cold as fuck outside.
  250. [00:05:37] Bartl3by: Not great BJ weather.
  251. [00:05:52] General Itals: that woulld be something o a hinderance
  252. [00:06:38] Bartl3by: So I decided I would see what entertainment the barn could provide me, because my cousins weren't allowed in the barn and couldn't bother me.
  253. [00:07:14] Bartl3by: There's a shitload of cows in there, and tons of shit as well.
  254. [00:08:02] tgbnaomi: Most
  255. [00:08:05] Bartl3by: I considered trying to get blown by the cows, but their tongues are like fucking sandpaper.
  256. [00:08:08] tgbnaomi: Moar
  257. [00:09:02] Bartl3by: I heard that some people fuck ungulates in their nostrils, but they were having none of it.
  258. [00:09:54] Bartl3by: So I turned my attention to the calfs. There were about a dozen of them, located at the back of the barn.
  259. [00:10:14] A Racist Zebra: moar
  260. [00:10:27] TheBronyBrotherhoodOwner: its gettin pretty hot in here
  261. [00:10:27] tgbnaomi: Reading this will be the death of me
  262. [00:11:00] Mellen: [3:09:51 PM] Bartl3by: So I turned my attention to the calfs.
  263.  
  264. <<< oh no
  265. [00:11:12] TheBronyBrotherhoodOwner: i think its a good story
  266. [00:12:00] Bartl3by: oh yes
  267. [00:12:39] Bartl3by: Calfs, I learned, are kind of like human infants, in that they will suck on ANYTHING.
  268. [00:12:50] TheBronyBrotherhoodOwner: very true
  269. [00:12:56] TheBronyBrotherhoodOwner: very true...
  270. [00:12:58] MISSINGNO.: [5:08:55 PM] Bartl3by: I heard that some people fuck ungulates in their nostrils
  271.  
  272. <<< OHOHOHO
  273. [00:13:26] Bartl3by: Particularly if it's a pink pole that vaguely resembles their mother's udders.
  274. [00:13:50] Bartl3by: I was nervous about sticking it in at first.
  275. [00:14:41] Bartl3by: But just by standing close to them, they started licking/sucking my hands, shirt, pants, whatever was wihin reach.
  276. [00:14:49] Bartl3by: I guess it's just intinctual.
  277. [00:15:18] Bartl3by: So I brought out my dick and holy shit.
  278. [00:15:55] heidi: jesus man.
  279. [00:16:26] Bartl3by: As soon as the closest one saw it, she took the entire thing into her mouth and started sucking with  a vengeance.
  280. [00:16:55] Bartl3by: It was the most awesome thing that had ever happened to my dick.
  281. [00:17:26] TheBronyBrotherhoodOwner: i envy you
  282. [00:17:44] Bartl3by: It was especially good because she just didn't stop!
  283. [00:18:05] Bartl3by: She kept sucking with the same ferocity the whole time.
  284. [00:18:59] Bartl3by: And it was just the right amount of stimulation where I stayed in rock hard bliss the whole time, but didn't make me come.
  285. [00:19:27] Bartl3by: Like I just stood there for maybe 5 minutes
  286. [00:20:34] Bartl3by: Then when I wanted to finish, I started to straight up fuck her mouth.
  287. [00:22:10] Bartl3by: I think my tip went a bit down her throat when I pushed, but she didn't seem to mind. I came in her mouth and she swallowed everything.
  288. [00:22:38] Bartl3by: Needless to say, I'll be making a stop next time we drop by the farm.
  289. [00:23:22] Bartl3by: This concludes the tale of Bartl3by Animal Fucker. Thank you.
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