Vanel matchmaking chp1

Icebreaking, Matchmaking

 

Chapter 1: "Should not have said that"

 

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Something was wrong.

 

Now, most people in the arcade would probably just assume this was Ralph being his usual shy, somewhat antisocial self. He was coded a bad guy, after all. They were weird, right? But she was not "most people" She and him had been confidantes long enough that the big plaid oaf was an open book to her - one written in large, candy-colored letters. And she knew her friend was thinking very deeply about something, even if he insisted nothing was wrong...

 

And she really, REALLY wanted to know what it was. Well, time for some trademark Presidential subtlety.

 

"Yo, General Geek! Wake up!" she shouted, straight into his ear.

 

Startled, the well-known bad guy Wreck-It-Ralph could do little more than stumble and fall, breaking the chair he'd been sitting on by accident. "Gah! I-I'm awake! What's the matter?! Did Candlehead get stuck in the molasses swamps again?"

 

"No, silly. But you were looking into the distance like some sort of RPG character"

 

"I wasn't!"

 

"Oh *really*" Vanellope smirked sarcastically. She then jumped off from her vantage point and adopted a mock thinking pose against one of the close handrails, hand to her chin, acting mockingly despaired. "Oh, woe is me! Sigh, sigh, and another sigh! My name is Ralph and if I sighed any harder bugs would go into my mouth!"

 

Ralph grumbled at that, unable to really deny it. "Oh ha ha. I was just thinking, okay?"

 

"Oooooohhh, better be careful with that, Ralphie. You're not used to it, might get a cramp." Vanellope joked, jumping on his shoulder.

 

For all response, Ralph just did a "hmph" sound and drank another sip of his root beer. This made Vanellope's smile fall off a little. Oh boy. Not even a retort? Welcome to Funktown, population: One Ralph. Come on, Vanellope, think. He's been like this since a couple days ago. What happened a couple days ago?

 

 

Well, they went fishing in Bass Lagoon, had a bit of an argument with Ryu on Tappers… nah, that couldn’t be it, we made up in the end… and then there were these new guys that arrived. Something about a movie. They seemed pretty nice guys, and a few of the arcade’s representatives had to be there to “foster crossover relations” or whatever. Honestly, she mostly paid attention to the snowman. She’d been wondering if he tasted like ice cream, but licking him in the middle of the meeting would probably not have been a good idea. Being President is a real drag sometimes, don’t you know. There were two girls, and this one big guy – reminded her of Ralph a bit, kind of – and a shifty looking Prince dude. Now that she thought of it, Ralph had been talking to them for a bit while she was making sure to be real flippin Presidential. Maybe that was it.

 

“Hey, Ralph?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“What did those Freezing people or whatever tell you?”

 

Score, Vanellope thought as Ralph proceeded to spit-take his root beer all across the floor.

 

“What? I wasn’t thinking about her! What makes you think that I was thinking about her?”

 

“Her, uh?” Vanellope replied, with the kind of shit-eating grin only a cartoony sprite can truly perform.

 

“Wait, no, I mean-!”

 

Hahaha, she got it now! “Ralphie’s got a cruuuush! Ralphie’ got a cruuuush!” the tiny president started singing, jumping around her friend.

 

“I don’t have a crush! I crush things, I don’t *have* crushes!”

 

“Ralphie’s got a cruuuuush, Ralphie’s got a cruuuuush!”

 

“I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH!” Ralph smashed his fist into the floor for emphasis, sending all the benches around flying and making every single sprite in a three thousand pixels radius stare at him.

 

 

 

Some time and embarrassed apologies away later, Vanellope and Ralph found themselves sitting back in Sugar Rush, in one of the Chocolate Hills, the tiny president laying down on one of his friend’s shoulders, head on her hands.

 

“C’mon, out with it, Jumbo. Who is it? The redhead? I thought she was pretty cute. She could be your type, and I think he already likes the big guys, if you catch my drift”

 

Ralph was silent for a few seconds. “…no.”

 

“Ohhh, the queen then? Aiming high!”

 

More silence. Then: “…yes. Okay, yes, fine, I admit it! I like Elsa, okay? She’s pretty and amazing and cool and…”

 

“…and?”

 

“…and I think she’s so lonely. She’s kind of a bad guy of her movie, did you know? And when I looked at her eyes… I guess I just thought I could understand her a little bit…“

 

“…because you know what it’s like” Vanellope finished the sentence for her friend, sadly. Yes, she knew it as well. She knew it all too well. Not a good place to be. Even she would probably wonder if it’d be better to be decoded than go back to how things used to be, and she’s Vanellope Von Schweetz, indomitable and awesome!

 

And then, a sugary lightbulb went off inside her brain.

 

“Ding!”

 

 

 

“Uh?” That had been sudden and loud enough to make Ralph pay attention.

 

“Sooooo, you’re sweet on this Elsa girl, right?” As she began speaking again, the little troublemaker had a grin that, if Ralph had been in a more cogent mood, he’d have detected as trouble.

 

But he wasn’t really paying attention. He dejectedly tossed a chocolate bar at the nearby nesquik lake, which made a splash and a gloop. “I guess. But it’d never work. She’s a queen, and I’m… well, I’m *me*. Ralph Ham Hands”

 

“Don’t worry, don’t worry! You may be a stinkbrain, but you're a good guy, Ralph. And you have an ace under your sleeve!"

 

“I do?”

 

“Yes! You have me!”

 

“Wait, wha-“ And then Ralph’s brain caught up. “Oh no. No no no! Don’t you dare-!“

 

But he was too slow. Vanellope had already jumped far away from his reach, her grin a terrible omen of mischievousness. “Don’t you worry for a moment, my dear Captain Underpants! Matchmaker Vanellope von Schweetz is on the case!” And with a bow, she jumped into her car and sped away.

 

Ralph was left there, too struck to see anything, and his heart filling with an unnamed dread.

 

Oh boy,This couldn’t end well.