Untitled

INTRO:  http://pastebin.com/6ETeJZdT

PART 1: http://pastebin.com/ACSQ11iw

PART 2: http://pastebin.com/vuDWd0gN

PART 3: http://pastebin.com/FHsBM3FS

PART 4: http://pastebin.com/JQQyvrGT

 

Let's fast-forward to Pinkie Pie's party on the night before Hearth's Warming Eve.

 

Sugarcube Corner is a not just a bakery, but a popular social venue for parties of all kinds. Tonight is more of an adults-only affair for Pinkie and a handful of friends to goof off and get drunk.

 

Pinkie Pie is here, making sure everything is just right for her party, from the brownie count to the trim on the table settings. She might rival Rarity for an eye for details.

Applejack is also here, setting up some hard cider kegs. You almost don't recognize her with her hair loose and untied. She must be serious about taking a load off tonight.

Derpy is also here, kicking back in a chair near the entrance. She greets you with a nod, and before you can ask, she responds: "Foalsitter."

 

Lyra and Bonbon are also close behind you; turns out they were invited, too. Lyra laughed as she recalled what Pinkie said, "We can't all be singles there, we gotta balance it out!" Guess she didn't take into account your being the only male.

 

[cont'd]

 

Pinkie Pie welcomes each of you and invites you to put your gifts down on a nearby table; those'll be last on the agenda. Seeing as you've been a little short of income, you packed your gifts in big pretty bags to at least make them look nice next to some of the oversized and odd-shaped packages on the pile. (You'll decide what you gave to the other ponies later.)

 

"Alright, everypo-uh, everyone is here! Now it's time to get started on the games! First up, every game has a one-drink buy-in. Bottoms up!" Pinkie wastes no time in distributing six mugs of foamy hard cider. One drink can't hurt, but you have a feeling you may be in for a long night as you finish it off.

 

"Okay, so what do we want to play first?"

[PINATA]

[SPIN THE TAIL ON THE PONY]

[TRUTH OR DARE]

 

...

 

[TRUTH OR DARE]

Pinkie clops her hooves excitedly and pours out another round of drinks. "Take a shot when it's your turn to tell the truth or do a dare! First up is..." She gets a devious smile as she rolls a d6. "Bonbon!"

 

"In that case, I choose... Anon." Welp. Looks like you're taking a shot. "Truth or Dare?"

 

Mugs: 1 / Shots: 1

 

...

 

>>2133844 >>2133855 >>2133862 >>2133878

You guys.

 

You very eagerly take the dare option. Bonbon looks a little disappointed. "Aw, I wanted to do a Truth. I do want to get to know more about you, considering." She bats her eyelashes, but doesn't attempt to change your mind otherwise.

 

"I dare you to, uh... well." Bonbon blushes and snickers. "Could you... scratchbehindmyears?" She hides her face in her hooves and even Lyra looks at her weird. "Hey, it's a thing I read about in your anthrocon stuff and I wanted to give it a try!"

 

"Th-they're not that great, Bonbon."

"Oh, hush. I'm allowed to have a little [spoiler]>fun[/spoiler], too. Besides, when am I going to get another chance like this?"

 

Pinkie chimes in. "And there's a one-mug penalty for not following through or at least trying!"

 

...

 

You put your gameface on and walk over past Lyra to Bonbon. You crack your knuckles and get to work, working your fingers between her blue-and-pink streaked mane to get at the supple, but tender hide around the base of her crown.

 

"Ooh. Oh..." Bonbon twitches a bit, forcing herself to lean into what she's brought upon herself. "Yeah, that's pretty nice. Oh, could you go lower, that itchy spot keeps moving..."

 

"Hey! She only said behind the ears, ya two-legged varmint." Applejack protests, always one for a fair game. "The rest of us are waitin' our turns."

 

Continue or move on? Pinkie reminds you it'll be your turn to pick someone to play.

 

...

 

>>2134291

You sly dog, you!

 

"Look, I can do keep doing this while we continue."

"Okay, but you can't pick Bonbon, since she just picked you. So whose turn is it?"

 

You can pick from Applejack, Derpy, Lyra, and Pinkie Pie.

 

...

 

"Applejack."

"Truth!" Of course. Applejack slams her shot like a pro. "Ask away! I'm Ponyville's most honest, dependable pony."

 

...

 

>>2134507 >>2134557

Flipped a coin!

 

"You ever had [spoiler][/spoiler]>fun[spoiler][/spoiler] with Rainbow Dash?" You try to keep a straight face. Sure, they're famous rivals and friends, and while some joke about it there's been nothing as of yet to really establish anything further. It's still amusing as hell to see Applejack blush red as a beet. (How Equestrian ponies do that through their technicolor coat and skin, you're not sure.)

 

"Yes."

There is a collective gasp around the table, and Pinkie Pie slams her hoof on the table. "Aha! Rarity owes me ten bits!"

"What, that's it?" Derpy leans in with a crooked eye. "You're not saying anything else?"

"I answered, fair and square, didn't I? Also, it's your turn, Lyra." Applejack winks at your unicorn "girlfriend".

"Dare!"

"Aw shucks, you're too carefree for that."

 

[cont'd]

 

"New rule, new rule!" Pinkie Pie cuts in. "If you pick the same thing twice in a row you have to take a shot! So you're doing Truth next time for sure, Lyra, and you too, Anon!"

 

"Uh, Anon, you can stop scratching, now." Lyra tugs on your sleeve.

"It was... nice." Bonbon nods and shrugs, but it's obvious she's keeping a straight face.

 

"Alright, Lyra, you asked for it." Applejack reaches down and flops a boot onto the table. It's a long, fancy dress boot made from canvas and rubber, with a silvery zipper running its entire length. "Zip that up without using your mouth or your magic. And no one can help."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me. Why don't you put that anther-filly to use?"

"Fine." Lyra drags the boot over to herself and carefully places her hooves over the zipper piece, struggling to nudge it along the track.

 

"Wow, hardcore, AJ." Pinkie Pie raises an eyebrow at her orange friend. "Come on, Lyra,  you can do it! Just pick someone to go next while you're on it."

 

You might try to intervene, otherwise, [cont'd]

 

...

 

Lyra's turn to pick. "Pinkie Pie."

"Truth!"

"How come you never signed up for the Canterlot Conservatory? You're a real chantreuse."

"I grew up on a rock farm, silly! I'd never fit in in Canterlot. Plus, I'd have to leave all my friends in Ponyville, and that would just be so sad, but then I could make new friends in Canterlot, but it just wouldn't be the same, and those ponies Rarity met can sure be real snooty, I have no idea how a nice unicorn like you came from ponies like that—"

"Pinkie, it's your turn." Lyra cuts off the pink pony, while she's gained maybe an inch out of twenty.

 

[cont'd]

 

Pinkie's turn. "Derpy!"

"Dare!"

"Eat this!" Pinkie produces a hotsauce cupcake.

"Done!" Derpy scarfs down the whole thing, wrapper and all. You swear you can see steam coming out of her ears.

Derpy's turn. "Bonbon!"

"Dare!"

"Eat the rest of it." Derpy opens her mouth and leans over, hotsauce and chocolate cake and frosting clearly chewed but unswallowed. Bonbon reels in horror.

"What? It'll be just like making out with Lyra." Pinkie Pie giggles.

"Did you two plan this?" Bonbon crosses her arms.

"Not your turn to ask a question!" Derpy tries to look erotic as she leans in towards Bonbon, but her crossed eyes make it a little hard to take seriously. Lyra is blushing very hard.

"Hey, now, Lyra and I are..."

"It's fine! It's just for fun, right?" Lyra's gained two inches out of twenty on the zipper, but you can see her visibly sweating as she fights the instinct to activate her unicorn horn.

 

[Watch the results, or interrupt?]

 

...

 

>>2135104 >>2135105 >>2135133

 

You raise your hand and ask Pinkie, "Lyra's already been trying pretty hard, can she stop with the zipper?"

"Yeah, she can."

"No, I got this!"

"Lyra." Bonbon tilts her head at her girlfriend. Lyra seems to be steaming worse than Derpy right now. Bonbon shrugs and pours out a mug for herself. As she gulps down the hard cider, Derpy swallows the whole cupcake for herself, and gets her own mug to help wash it down.

 

"I think that's enough Truth or Dare for now. We can do it again later when we're totally smashed!" Pinkie Pie hops up on the table. "You wanna do another game or something else?"

 

"Well, I did bring in my first batch of applejack. Guarantee you'll be getting smashed, if not knocked right out." Applejack brings over a case of bottles.

"I got magic muffins!" Derpy holds out a box of very dank-smelling baked goods.

"Bet you can't top my Zap Apple cordials." Bonbon opens a case of rainbow-tinted chocolates.

"We can also snort pixie dust!" Pinkie Pie produces a few paper tubules of sparkling, sugar-like substances.

 

"I give up!" Lyra bites down on the boot and throws it off the table. "What's your poison, Anon?"

 

...

 

>>2135315 >>2135409

 

"I can't pass up the chance to try Zap Apples. Local delicacy, right?"

"Sure is, produced only by my family's orchard." Applejack tips her hat.

"Here, let's each have one. Anon can take the first bite, though." Bonbon smirks as you take one of the rainbow confections out of the box. "Go on ahead."

Everyone seems to be looking at you quite intently. You can't help but look at each of them with some amount of trepidation before popping it into your mouth and biti—

 

"Alright, back off, give him some air." Bonbon pushes the others away.

"...What just happened?" You lick your lips, tasting some of indescribaby sweet Zap Apple syrup. It's smooth, with a hint of that strong, dark aftertaste from the chocolate. Still, that doesn't explain the very warm sensation running through your body and the slight scorch marks on the floor where you're lying down. "I feel like I got hit by lightning."

"PRETTY MUCH!" Pinkie Pie bounds over and helps you up. "That's kinda what Zap Apples are made of."

"Toldja you used too much." Applejack rolls her eyes as she enjoys a bottle of her namesake.

 

[cont'd]

 

"Okay, well, maybe we should get back to the games. I don't think our human friend here is ready for 'Equestrian magic'." Derpy airquotes with her wings.

"Where's Lyra?"

"Up here, silly." Lyra floats past a ceiling light.

"How in—"

"Pixie dust. Only works when you're thinking happy thoughts." Lyra smiles and looks you straight in the eyes.

"Alright, well, come down from there, you silly filly. How're you supposed to play if you're not down here with the rest of us?" Pinkie Pie hops up and tries to snatch Lyra out of the air.

 

Which game next?

[SPIN THE TAIL]

[PINATA]

 

...

 

>>2135812 >>2135831 >>2135894 >>2135912

PIN THE TAIL ON THE PONY (The Grown-Up Version)

 

"Let's play Pin the Tail on the Pony." You figure this should be some good, clean fun after what just transpired. Pinkie rolls her dice again to pick the players: turns out this version is played with a live "pony" to get pinned. As luck has it, Pinkie is first to get pinned, and you're first to get the blindfold and "pin" her with the tail. You get the purple tail since Rarity isn't here.

 

Both you and Pinkie take your mugs for the buy-in, and another shot for your turn at play.

 

Mugs: 2 / Shots: 2

 

First three posts roll for accuracy!

 

...

 

>>2136137 >>2136139 >>2136149

7 + 9 + 9 = 25

Despite a consistent buzz from all the hard cider in your system, and the residual tingling of the Zap Apple cordial, you manage to find your mark and put the sticky end of the tail directly over the base of Pinkie's tail.

"Hey, hey! No feeling around!"

"I'm not, I just put it down without aiming, honest!"

"Well, rules is rules. A missed tail is a shot for the pinner, a good tail is one for the pinned!" Pinkie Pie opts to have some applejack and informs you it's your turn to get pinned. For simplicity's sake, you'll be on all fours, and the target is your tailbone.

 

Pinkie rolls her dice. "Applejack, you're up!"

"Hey, no helping, Lyra, I know you read up about human 'nattamee and whatnot." Applejack chuckles.

"Put a daisy in it, AJ." Lyra shakes her head.

 

Next two posts roll for luck!

 

...

 

>>2136361 >>2136367

1 + 7 = 8

 

You worry that Applejack might just barrel into you with how she seems to be slightly loopy from her moonshine. Even so, you wince when she sticks the red tail directly over your coccyx.

"YEEHAW! Still got the Iron Pony touch." Applejack does a little victory jig before offering to switch out your hard cider for applejack.

 

Y/N?

 

...

 

>>2136445 >>2136454

I'll take these retroactively as rolls for Stamina. Just speeding things along.

5 + 4 = 9

 

You take the applejack and you're just about knocked flat on your ass again, if conscious. The rest of the group take their turns, with Derpy, Lyra and Pinkie Pie having to take more shots. Bonbon lucked out this game.

 

"PEE BREAK!" Pinkie Pie blows a whistle and runs off to the restrooms. Applejack shrugs and follows after her, leaving Derpy to munch on some chocolate cake and you at the table with Lyra and Bonbon.

"I'm fine for now. Either of you gonna go?" Bonbon looks at the two of you, and Lyra nods vigorously before heading off. Bonbon smiles. "She always was a bit of a party animal, I'll tell you that."

 

After a moment's contemplation, Bonbon looks you in the eye. "Wanna tell me a Truth?"

 

...

 

>>2136642 >>2136654 >>2136661

 

"Um, what do you mean, Truth?"

"Between my work and your hanging out with Lyra and other ponies, I haven't had much of an opportunity to get to know you all that well. I mean, Lyra says you're a great all-around guy, and I'll take her word for it, but now that I'm your boss, well I think I've got a right to know who's working for me." Bonbon shrugs. "So, you know. Just tell me about what you want to do, like, over the long term. Why did you come to Equestria? What's your purpose in life here?"

 

...

 

>>2136792 >>2136815

 

"Equestria is a whole new world, a dazzling place, really. It's filled with all these strange and wonderful creatures... no offense."

"None taken."

"It's all just very new to me."

"Well, new doesn't last forever, does it?" Bonbon drinks out of her mug. "I can get the curiosity, but you must have left something behind. I mean, I know you could always go back, but you're literally a world away. You never miss your family? Because I certainly don't think you're starting one here."

 

She chuckles darkly. "Why would you leave your world?"

 

...

 

>>2136857

 

"Life before Equestria was hectic. Couldn't catch a break, nothing went my way. I felt out of place. But here, it's nicer, it's... more forgiving. I could live out my life here, in ease and simplicity."

"You really think it's easy?" Bonbon traces the edge of her mug with her hoof. "I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to leave this world."

"I dunno, Equestria is a pretty nice place. But I'm sure Lyra'd love to go to Earth with you."

"That's not what I mean." She finishes her drink. "I didn't have a reason to... stay. In this world. When I found Lyra, I found a reason to stay. Um, you get what I'm saying?"

 

...

 

>>2137070 >>2137083 >>2137092

 

"Yeah, more or less. Congratulations, by the way."

"What?"

"On the... you two are getting married, right?" Your question catches her a little off guard, but she doesn't have more cider to escape into.

"Could you tell? I mean, we hadn't seriously announced it."

"Look, if living with Lyra has taught me one thing, it's that she's all over you every other day. That and I kind of caught the whole bit about you two moving in together, so I figured..." You nod and raise your mug. "On the other hand, she's not the easiest to live with sometimes."

"Pshyeah, I know, right? Still, for as footloose as she can be, she's got a good heart. Generous, maybe to a fault. I was a little upset with her when she took you in, to be honest."

"I wouldn't be surprised, considering. Has that generosity ever come into play for you?"

"We're practically engaged, what do you think?" Bonbon smiles. "I was kind of drifting along in life, just like you, things never seemed to go my way. Then Lyra gave me a place in her life, and here I am. So I think the least I could do is try to help you out in that regard."

 

You can hear Pinkie Pie and company returning from the restrooms. "Man, that's a load off. Who's ready for the pinata?"

 

A last remark, or shall we move on?

 

...

 

>>2137245 >>2137251

 

You wave to the returning group and ask Bonbon one last question before you all go to join them. "Hey, Bonbon? Am I really that good at ear scratching?"

"How many humans do you think I've met?" She shakes her head and smirks.

 

"Just like Pin the Tail, we're actually playing this with a LIVE pony! You gotta balance the basket of candy on your back, and the blindfolded player has to tickle you. Winner takes all, losers take a mug!" Pinkie rolls her dice again. "Lyra gets to be the pinata! Aaand... Anon is the first player!"

"Oh, that has got to be rigged. He's gone first a few times now." Derpy squeezes out some words between mouthfuls of cake.

"Well, that was me picking him on the first round of Truth or Dare!" Bonbon laughs.

 

Lyra is understandably very excited for this. The both of you buy in with a mug and are both blindfolded and spun around. You'll have to wander over yonder, and Lyra won't know which direction you're coming from.

 

Two rolls for intuition.

 

...

 

>>2137379 >>2137387

9 + 7 = 16

 

Amidst the cheering and yelling from the others attempting to disorient you, you can make out Lyra's nervous breathing. Really, at this point, you know her body like the back of your own hand, sensing its curves in space with your third eye. You can almost feel static coming off of her coat as you approach. Finding her ticklish spots is a mite more challenging, though.

"Move left!" "No, move it down!" "No, not there, what are you doing?!"

Your fingers wriggle over a soft curve, and for a moment you can swear the warm folds of it are quite familiar to you. Lyra yelps in surprise, jumping and spilling the basket of candy all over you. You feel Applejack smack you on the wrist, and you remove your blindfold to see what was the matter.

"That was a no-no spot!"

"I was blindfolded, how was I supposed to know?!"

Lyra forgives you and there are laughs all around as she takes her mug graciously. Picking up your prize, you find there's every kind of candy imaginable in this basket, and certainly enough to share with the others.

 

[cont'd]

 

The rest of the pinata rounds go less embarassingly, and Pinkie decides it's time for the next round of Truth Or Dare. She rolls her dice to see who goes first this time.

 

"Ooh, I get to pick first! Anon, Truth or another mug?" As per the rules Pinkie set out earlier, you can't choose Dare again.

 

Mugs: 3 / Shots: 2 +1 AJ

You're feeling woozy, but still high-functioning.

 

...

 

"Truth."

"Wouldyouhavesexwithapony?"

Applejack spews her drink halfway across the table. Bonbon's face has a growing look of bewildered horror. Derpy just looks at you with bemused curiosity. Lyra clears her throat and tries not to stare at you.

 

What do you say?

 

...

 

>>2137827 >>2137832 >>2137845

 

"Sure. I mean, if there aren't any humans around, then yeah, I'd be down for that. I have no qualms."

"Anybody in particular?"

"Pinkie, you get one question." Derpy tries to push the pink pony back into her seat.

"But I wanna knnoooooow!"

"Save it for another day, Pinkie, it's Anon's turn to choose." Applejack comes back with a rag to wipe up the table.

 

For reference, here are the ponies you can pick and the options they have to go with:

AJ: Dare

Lyra: Truth

Derpy: Truth

Bonbon: Truth

 

...

 

"Derpy, truth?"

"Truth!"

"Do you have a favorite... package, about town?" You try to weigh your words with sleazy innuendo. "A... special delivery? An... exceptional pickup?"

"Oh sun, are we on about that now? Is it too late to take the mug option?"

"Truth, Derpy, truth!" Lyra chimes in.

"Right. Well." Derpy sits up straight and brushes her golden mane aside, trying to look composed if not halfway shitfaced. "I've been seeing this one stallion..."

"You're among friends, Derpy." Applejack nods sagely. "You can tell us who."

"His name is..." Derpy's eyes dart about the group. "Big Macinto—"

"WHAT!" Applejack rises up out of her seat and flips the table over, mugs and all. "SNEAKIN OFFA WORK, THAT NO GOOD SON OF A—"

"Applejack, calm down!" Bonbon and Pinkie Pie try to get a hold of her.

"Orange alert! Orange alert! WOO WOO WOO!"

"Bahaha, you're so overprotective of him! Get a grip, AJ." Derpy is laughing, but nonetheless cautiously hovering out of reach. "We've been seeing each other since the cherry blossom festival. It's nothing serious yet."

"Why dontcha float on down here and I'll show ya what serious mean?" Applejack sets her hat askew. "You're a friend, Derpy, but darned if I don't know about your history a' bein' a bad influence."

"Girls! Settle down!" Pinkie Pie gets between them and shouts both down.

 

[cont'd]

 

"You know, I'm kind of sorry I asked now." You chuckle and put your palm to your face. "But at least all that's in the open, right?"

"Let's just finish the game. Derpy, it's your turn to pick."

"Fine. AJ! I dare you to do the Sisterhooves Social dance with me, right now. And you're the little one."

"What in—no! That ain't proper."

"Oh, come on, I'm doing your bro, we're practically sisters."

"Lick my block." Applejack pours herself a mug of applejack and downs it like a champ. Derpy is rolling midair in her gigglefits.

 

"Bonbon, truth." Applejack's scowl turns into a smirk. "Who was your first? Because it sure as sugar ain't Lyra."

"Oh, wow, that was a long time ago."

"You're not that old."

"Uh... I don't remember his name. Some colt up in Trottingham. Lovely accent. Spoke Fancy, too."

"You weren't always a lesbian?"

"Hey, hey, one question only."

 

[cont'd]

 

"Lyra, truth."

"Hit me, Bonnykins."

"Could you please throw out the human dildos?"

Applejack spews her drink again. "Consarnit, waste of a good drink."

"What the—that's not a question!"

"I heard a question mark at the end of it."

"But it's not a Truthy-type of question!"

"Just roll with it."

"Fine." Lyra sighs deeply and does her best to look genuinely torn up about this, even adding a dramatic flair with her hoof raised to her forehead. "Oh, Bonbon, yes, I would. I'm going to pack them up in a box and give them to Anon, because I'm sure he has more use for them."

"Hey, wait a minute..." Your protest is silenced by uproarious laughter from the group.

 

...

 

The little party is coming to a close, and Pinkie Pie has let everyone go to the gift table to see what everyone got for everyone else.

 

Applejack gave you a case of... applejack. In fact that's what she got for everyone.

Bonbon gave you a work uniform fitted for a human.

Lyra gave you toe socks (of course).

Pinkie Pie gave you a "Pinkie Pie Premium Party Pass", good for her throwing you one party free of charge, for any number of guests, public or private affair. She sneaks you a knowing wink.

Derpy tried to give you a poison joak boutonnier, but the others ripped it away before it could take effect on you. She promises to make it up to you.

 

Considering your constrained budget, what did you get for each of them?

 

...

 

>>2138615 >>2138677

You gave away articles of your own clothing for each of your gifts. A kerchief for AJ, matching gloves for Bonbon and Lyra, a shirt for Pinkie, and pants for Derpy.

 

And inside each one is a "Free Favor Card", redeemable at any time.

"Dude, I'm using this so immediately." Lyra looks at hers hungrily.

"I clean your room for you anyways." You shake your head, and there are laughs all around.

 

You elect to go directly home after the party, letting Lyra walk Bonbon to her place. You're not so concerned with whether she comes back or spends the night at her place; it's cold, it's late, and you're kind of drunk and pretty tired. After some perfunctory toiletry, you gather yourself up under your blankets and expect to wake up with light hangover.

 

A familiar weight throws itself against your back, a gently glowing Free Favor Card floating down to you.

"Redeemable at any time."

"Bonbon warned me you were a party animal..."

 

END