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The beginning of Narue's journal's kind of depressing.

 

Starts right at the end of the game, she's conflicted because on one hand, being a gts seems fun and exciting and there's something inside her that wants to get into the whole 'playing in a playbox world just for me where the little ones are cute ants/mice to me!' mindset. But on the other hand, it's embarassing and she doesn't want to either appear or start to think as if she's not Human any more/be ostracized from society.

 

Some people (like a guy she yoinks cause he's takin' upskirt pics) treat her like both a monster and/or a goddess, which both scares, hurts, and excites her.

 

She's separated from Chijinda and essentially assigned to be a one (wo)man unit, since she requires no assistance. She was always support staff, so she starts excited and proud of her new position, eager to please and help people.

 

At first things are good. She works as an emergency response and rescue unit, saving people in rough/impossible terrain and conditions like mountains, terrible storms, etc. And in construction. She saves much lives and costs, and gets a sense of her overwhelming power, greater than hundreds and people and technology.

 

Things quickly start to tumble down, however. Despite her benevolent work, many of her intended rescue-ees (such as a crew of an oil-spill tanker) are terrified of her and treat her like a monster. Her fellow co-workers, though initially impressed and supportive, rapidly turn abusive and derisive of her, spreading cruel rumors and accusations about the job loss she's caused, the immense strain on resources, etc.

 

She becomes increasingly isolated, alienated, lonely, and miserable, her self-esteem and optimism plummet as she first attempts to rise above the harshness, then lie to herself and pretend it's not crushing her, and then finally to simply pull the 'It can't be helped, it's all true, I can't blame them, woe is me" attitude.

 

On top of it all, she's further losing touch with the 'Human' point of view, lacks any and all amenities (ex.: no change of clothes, no appropriate clothes for different environments, nothing top do outside of work, no personal resources).

 

Her only bright spots are when she rarely gets to see, talk to, or work with Chijinda briefly, since he still praises and treats her like normal. But even then she senses the growing divide between herself and others more strongly when with him, and has to repress the odd sexual gts feelings towards him she has. She grows paranoid that he'll hate her soon too.

 

She frequently has dreams that she's back at Yabaize, but in her dreams she's acting and thinking like the A.S. Society girls, cruel and violent, and in the dreams she likes it and works off stress. She can't tell them to anybody, further repressing herself up since she's worried she'll be restricted, locked down, or worse, and that Chijinda would start to despise her too.

 

Eventually she's assigned to a secret government rescue mission to save some dignitaries oversees and help put down the guerilla/revolutionary group inciting the trouble.

 

She describes the troubls with moving through non-indigenous mountains and forests that are actually cumbersome even at her size, of the difficulty in tracking and finding guerillas in tiny towns. She does though, when she realises the tiny, insignificant insect bites she's feeling are them opening up with AKs on her. That god-above-humans reality forces itself into her awareness again as she effortlessly, invincibly routes them, not killing them, but hoping they realise the futility of continuing.

 

This military mission story goes on a while, with some battle descriptions between her and heavily armed groups (she's mostly immune, ignoring them to chase them off except when she takes an RPG to the head from an ambush whilst writing the journal by a dam), trying to help save a soldier whose leg she accidentally broke, but just being unnaturally chipper about the whole thing as her ridiculous power over the little ones and their pitiful weapons becomes more apparent, as well as their fear of her, some Full Metal Jacket type Gomer Pyle feel almost.

 

After more battles she saves the dignitary (American I believe) through some crazy stunts and he, treating her like shit/a monster/ a weapon, is incredulous she isn't killing the shit out of everyone, berating her for it. She tries to ignore him, close to breaking, but is ordered by mission command that she is to obey anything the dignitary says, including mass slaughter of those who can't really fight back.

 

Narue finally snaps. Gloriously. Black Narue comes out. She genocides the shit out of the whole army like insects. Like specks. she loses herself in the carnage, lets go of what she's been holding on to. Even when she comes half-to she's like anime-style half cold-minded crazy. The dignitary who's been spurring this on basically kills himself (maybe, maybe helped by her) by 'falling' out of her hand where he's been perched. She does nothing, sounds broken inside.

 

Base camp is shocked. They just watched her crush an army effortlessly, inhumanly, overwhelmingly. They return to Japan, she isn't even blamed for the 'failure' of the mission as she accomplished HER goals and followed orders. But when she gets back, any and all trace of them treating her like her old self is gone. Not even as an annoyance or with prejudice. Just that monster they're all terrified of. Cold eyes. Her hearing's so strong she can't help but hear every terrible thing they say.

 

She has another striking nightmare of her, normal size, with a tiny fully populated miniature city in front of her. As she watches, evil in the dream, and "plays" with it with her fingers, it shrinks more and more, smaller and smaller, with her delighting in their fear and suffering, thinking how sweet and delicious they might be as she scoops up speck sized hordes...

 

She wakes from her nightmare in the tiny (enormous) tent she's been living in away from others on some base, worrying about her remaining herself, both in her own mind and others perception.

 

 But she chides herself for being so negative, there are still lots of good people, and she finaly gets to talk to Chijinda and finally tells him of the dreams, which he brushes off with an "everyone has nightmares like that Narue-san, I dreampt I lived through Endless Eight!" speech. He cheers her right up, only Chijinda treats her the same, protects her, isn't afraid. Very luv-luv stuff. But...she realises he's the only one like that, which makes him special to her, but also means he's the only one who can see her the way she is.

 

She makes a Chijinda-kun doll for herself. It's bigger than the real thing. She gets in a pissy mood because now she not only hears people badmouthing her, but Chijinda for liking/being friendly/kind to her as well. Crude jokes about him being a "monster-lover" if you catch my drift, among other things. Pisses Narue off.

 

There's a weird entry here about someone/some people being missing from the base and not returning on time. I suppose this might be the initial team that's sent to investigate the sea around Hanpanee Island that the game centers around.

 

Narue has returned to normal rescue work, in this case outting out a big fire. She loses herself in her work so she can disconnect her emotions and suffering, not think or feel anything. When she gets back to her tent afterward and is cleaning her sweat off she notices and 40m piece of garbage/rubble(?) stuck in her underwear and twitching like a bug(?). She chucks it with a weird line about how it was indeed routine work like always that night. I didn't really get what this weird entry was implying, but I didn read it fast.

 

Finally, on June 28th, almost 3 months since the end of the Shrink 'High incident, Narue is asigned the mission to investigate the weird smugglers and sea and dissapearances around Hanpanee Island. A real mission at last! She wants to tell Chijinda, but he's already gone on an investigation of his own concerning mysterious/dissapearing cities? Still, she sets out, sure she'll be right home......