The Robot, The Cyborg, And the Duckling PT1

The robot, the cyborg, and the duckling, pt 1

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“YOU LET ANNA INTO THE SNUGGLY DUCKLING?!” Rapunzel yelled, bolting upright from the cafe seat.

 

“Rapunzel, you’re missing the point here. I owe Vlad four hundred dollars for a new paint job for his bike. Stay on the same page, Blondie!” Eugene said, trying to keep all the mugs and creamers from tipping over. Unfortunately, Rapunzel wasn’t in the mood to listen to his problems and just glossed over Eugene’s small details.

 

“Besides, I thought those guys were your best friends or something.” Eugene grumbled.

 

“Well of course they’re MY friends, Eugene! I can handle myself, and they respect that.” Rapunzel said, plopping back on her chair and crossing her arms, a somewhat smug expression on her face. But her smirk turned into a look of concern as she remembered she was talking about her cousin.

 

“But Anna can’t go into places like the Duckling! She’s too weak to handle herself out there! What would her parents think?!” Rapunzel said, casting a hand out to emphasize ‘out there’. Eugene weighed the pros and cons of pointing out the hypocrisy of Rapunzel’s statement.

 

“She’s not like you or me, ‘Rider’…” Rapunzel went on, and Eugene had to quirk an eyebrow, wondering exactly when his girlfriend would run out of steam on this topic. “... bringing her to places full of ruffians… and… and thugs… and…” Rapunzel’s mouth stopped mid-sentence and Eugene was glad that his intuition about her rapidly changing moods was right.

 

“… and MISFITS! MISFITS, EUGENE!” Rapunzel said, jumping up from her seat again. This time Eugene wasn’t quick enough to catch the mugs and he had to skid his seat back before hot coffee spilled on his lap.

 

“Whoa, hey, watch it, Blondie!” Eugene said, trying not to get anything on his pants.

 

“Oh, I am gonna watch it, Eugene, trust me.” Rapunzel said in a low voice as putting her hands on Eugene’s shoulders, happy and manic at the same time. Before Eugene could ask about the crazy look in her eye, she pushed off and made her way to where they parked.

 

“C’mon Eugene, I’ll tell you about it in the car!” She said, almost skipping over the sidewalk. Eugene sighed and scratched his head. So much for getting Rapunzel to help out with his money problems.

 

He put his hands in his pocket and prepared himself for the inevitable rapid-fire explanation of Rapunzel’s scheme when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Excuse me, sir. Your tab.” The barista said, handing Eugene a receipt.

 

Eugene had to fight not to gnash his teeth together as he fished for the last bills in his pocket.

 

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Later That Day:

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“Rapunzel, I’ve gone along for long enough. We’re half an hour away from home and I still haven’t played my placement matches for the season. Can you at least tell me where we’re going?” Elsa groused, opening the door to Eugene’s car as they parked in the seedier side of town.

 

“You’ll get your platinum stepping stone later, Elsa. C’mon, I promise, this’ll be FUN!” Rapunzel just said, pushing Elsa out of her seat.

 

“Yes, yes, what other buzzwords do you want to throw out, Rapunzel?” Elsa said, standing on the sidewalk. Looking around, this seemed like one of the places that reminded her why she was a shut in. Cracked neon and shuffling drunks were all about in this part of the city. She saw one short, bearded hobo obviously in the throes of intoxication making out with a fire hydrant across the street.

 

“Are you sure about this place, Rapunzel? I already have enough to talk about with my therapist…” Elsa said, watching a lady wearing nothing but red walk right past her. She looked at Eugene for support, but the man just shrugged and started making his way down the sidewalk. Eugene didn’t want anything to do with Rapunzel’s crazy plan for Elsa to open up. Hopefully the girls would have enough on their hands that he could spend the rest of the night without being harassed.

 

“Ha ha ha, am I sure? Listen, there were two things that helped me get over my robot problem, Elsa. Eugene was one of them, and this place…” Rapunzel said, dragging Elsa right in front of the pub’s signage. “… was the other one! It’ll do you loads of good!” Somehow, Rapunzel’s hyper grin did very little to ease Elsa’s apprehension.

 

“Well… I do like ducklings?” Elsa said, not really sure what to make of the name. Maybe it was a café or something, Elsa thought as she stepped inside. The area seemed out of place for such a…

 

Elsa’s inner monologue went to a full stop as her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the Duckling taproom.

 

Bikers.

 

BIKERS.

 

EVERYWHERE.

 

And they were all looking at her.

 

A giant, greasy looking man was holding Eugene by the scruff of his neck, though the pair seemed to pause to stare right back at Elsa. Every corner that Elsa’s eyes fell on was more and more of the same. Tattoos, leather, piercings and other, less savory things. Elsa could have sworn that she saw a man playing with rats off to the corner.

 

And not to mention the smell. It was like a pottage of everything that was the opposite of Anna. Overall, the whole place smelled like the color brown.

 

The entire bar seemed like it was growling in unison at her, and she saw that a few of the thugs were getting up from their seats.

 

‘No… no… not like this… I know that I would never lose my virginity to Anna, but please, God, not like this!’ Elsa bleated in her mind, trying to step back, only to find herself bumping into Rapunzel.

 

"Hey guys! This is the girl I was talking about! You guys have everything ready for her?" Rapunzel chirped as she put her hands on Elsa’s shoulders. It was all Elsa could do to process that Rapunzel was actually talking to the assembled rogues, horrified that Rapunzel somehow knew these freaks.

 

"Oh, we are definitely ready..." a bald guy WITH A HOOK FOR A HAND said, and Elsa could feel her bladder loosening as the man stood up from his stool with his eyes trained on the two young women.

 

Elsa prayed that it would at least be a fast end. Hopefully, there would be some special corner in hell for Rapunzel for setting her up with whatever horrible fate would befall on her tonight.

 

The menacing hook hand stalked up to her, drawing something from behind him.

 

Elsa mentally prepared herself for what was coming as the thug brought out…

 

… a microphone?

 

“So yer Anna’s big sis, huh? Glad you could make it out fer karaoke!” Hookhand said, and Elsa fought not to faint right there and then.

 

“A..anna? Karaoke?” Elsa parroted, looking at the microphone in her hand like it was some alien artifact.

 

“Haha, yeah! That little sister o yers sure sings a mean Journey. She gives Punzie there a run for her money!” Hookhand laughed and her cousin joined in. Rapunzel let go of Elsa and drew Hookhand in for a warm hug, and more of Elsa’s world spun.

 

“So how about it, kid? Your sister wouldn’t stop yappin about how great ya were. I’m sure a little bit of the jukebox won’t be past the ‘Best Big Sis In The World’ right?” Hookhand said, and Rapunzel nodded,   happy smiles on their faces as they looked to Elsa.

 

It was all too much for Elsa to take. Her eyes began to tear up and she threw the microphone to the ground, causing a burst of feedback in the Duckling.

 

“Karaoke and my sister thrown in my face, huh Rapunzel? That’s what you’re bringing out to fix me?” Elsa spat out, tears stinging her eyes as Rapunzel’s smile was quickly wiped off her face. “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not FUCKING ENOUGH.”

 

“Elsa, no, please wait!” Rapunzel said, trying to reach out to Elsa but the older girl had already turned away and slammed the door.