The Rider and the Bot

 

“I can’t believe you.”

 

Eugene knew that tone. He knew it all too well. Girls that he cheated on gave him that tone. Disappointed foster parents gave him that tone. Former best friends that he stabbed in the back gave him that tone.

 

So while he hated that tone, he did know how to field the people that sent it his way. The only problem was, for the first time in forever, it was coming from someone who he genuinely cared about. That made things a little bit more complicated.

 

“I know. I admit that I am pretty unbelievable.” Eugene said, shrugging as he turned on the car and closed the door.

 

Rapunzel just kept giving her a death glare as she stood outside with her arms crossed, refusing to take her seat.

 

“DARING ANNA TO KISS HER SISTER? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?” Rapunzel screamed, balling her hands into fists as she shook with anger.

 

Eugene felt what he could only describe as his testicles retracting as they tried to hide from his girlfriend’s wrath. He had only ever seen Rapunzel raise her voice like this once, maybe twice in his life, and he knew he was in for a shitstorm.

 

“Okay, fine, fine, just get in here.” He said, dropping his cocky act and pleading with Rapunzel, reaching out to take the girl’s hand. Rapunzel batted it away, and the petite girl winced as she misjudged her swing in her drunkenness.

 

“Don’t you touch me, FITZHERBERT. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I tell you EVERYTHING in confidence. You know EXACTLY what Elsa’s going through. You KNOW just how bad things can be for people like her… people like ME! And you PULL THAT PIECE OF SHIT MOVE?” Rapunzel yelled at the top of her lungs and Eugene winced as neighborhood dogs started to bark and some of the nosier neighbors peeked through window shades.

 

“Yes, Blondie, I get it, okay, I fucked up. You can yell at me, but please just get in the car…” Eugene only felt more red hot anger from Rapunzel, and he knew he had to switch tracks. “… look, we can’t have it out like this. Your cousins might hear you screaming about them, alright?”

 

Rapunzel’s expression softened and she looked back at the house, then back to her idiot boyfriend squirming in his seat. Letting out one last angry scream, she stomped into the car, slamming the door as hard as she could.

 

“Thank you.” Eugene said lamely.

 

Rapunzel scoffed, staring him down again and lowering her voice to a threatening hiss. “You… are proving… Gothel… right… about men…”

 

Eugene was realizing with each passing second exactly how badly he’d botched up the situation. If Rapunzel was even bringing up THAT name, then he was probably in the deepest shit he’d ever been in since he finally got the courage to ask her out.

 

“It was the alcohol. I wasn’t thinking straight.” He said, hanging his head.

 

“I’ve seen you pound stronger gasoline down your throat at the Snuggly Duckling. Pabst is piss water, Eugene.”

 

Eugene quashed the little mote of pride he felt at Rapunzel’s statement. Now was not the time to grasp at ego boosts.

 

“I was just trying to help, Rapunzel.” He said, but Rapunzel still wasn’t buying any of it.

 

“What you were trying to do was get a rise out of a shut-in. I shouldn’t even be surprised, I know you have practice in it!” Rapunzel said with a few infuriated laughs in between sentences.

 

“Well it worked out the first time, Rapunzel! Maybe I didn’t have the best of intentions about it, but giving her a push might be just the thing!” Eugene said.

 

Rapunzel’s eyes lost a bit of their fire as she processed what Eugene thought he was doing, but she still leveled a steely gaze at the man.

 

“Elsa’s a different kind of robot, Eugene. She doesn’t want to change. At least not in the way that you think.” She said, finally going back to her normal voice. Inside, she was still a whirlwind of emotions, but right now she had to stop letting the alcohol drive her feelings. She forced herself to settle down.

 

It was Eugene’s turn to sigh. “Look, I can’t take you seriously when you start talking like that, Blondie. All these made-up labels just- OOF!” He grunted, feeling a flare of pain on his shoulder from Rapunzel’s unexpected punch. Eugene replayed what he just said in his head and realized just how well-deserved that punch was.

 

Rapunzel took a few deep breaths and settled back in her seat.

 

“Feels. Normalfag. Tfwnogf. Chad. Waifu. Betas. Spaghetti. /r9k/.” She listed off. “You don’t know anything about those words at all, but for Elsa, those words spell out her entire life.”

 

Rapunzel met Eugene’s gaze again, and he was surprised to see that she weren’t angry at all anymore. The expression that she DID have instead broke his heart and he wished that she would just explode and start hitting him again.

 

“Elsa is suffering, Eugene. She’s not like me, and I’m not like her. Pushing her the way that you did will only make her more fucked up.”

 

Eugene was at a loss for words. He never really thought much about Rapunzel’s little online world, especially since she was such a happy and outgoing girl, but he did see snatches of the darkness that his girlfriend kept bottled away sometimes. If he was dragging someone else into something like that, then he definitely deserved everything and more that Rapunzel had given him.

 

But just as he started down that line of thought, he felt her hand on his lap.

 

“I’m not mad anymore. I know that you’re just trying to help, Eugene. I just… don’t want to see Elsa hurt.” Rapunzel said softly.

 

“I’m sorry, Rapunzel.” Eugune whispered, taking her hand in his.

 

“I said it’s fine.” Rapunzel said again, but she slipped her fingers out from his hand and turned away. Looking back at the house, Rapunzel crossed her arms and slid back into the seat.

 

“Take me home please, Eugene.”

 

Eugene felt the urge to say something, but thought against it. He could always count on his wits to get him through the day, but with Rapunzel, and everything about Rapunzel, he found that things never turned out the way he would expect. That was something that he loved about the girl, even if he never knew just when he would be stepping on an emotional landmine. But for Rapunzel, he would have thrown himself in front of a bomb if he had too.

 

Eugene licked his lips and pulled out of the driveway. Even though he was supposed to be the mature one, he still had a lot of growing up to do…