- >I wake up in equestria and I am pone
- >Naturally, I head over to Twilight's Library and impress her as a interdimensional traveler
- >"That's incredible!" she exclaims, "Let me get my friends, they won't believe this!"
- >The other ponies arrive
- >They show me around town
- >I end up staying at Twilight's place for the night
- >She showing me where everything is in the tree
- >Living in a giant-ass tree, so fucking cool
- >"...and this is the bathroom!"
- >Standard stuff, shower, sink...
- >Wait.
- >"Where's the toilet?" I ask
- >"Toilet?"
- >"Yeah, where you, y'know, go"
- >"Go? Is a toilet like a train?"
- >I realise the ponies don't shit in toilets.
- >Where do they shit? We've been eating food this whole time.
- >A few days later
- >wake up to Pinkie screaming in my ear and Pony Polka blaring from speakers
- >"PARTY TIME, ANON!"
- >She threw me a party
- >I can't be mad at her, so cute
- >Try to have a good time at party, but can't stop thinking about the lack of toilets
- >I didn't see any shit on the ground in Ponyville since I've been here
- >I could have sworn they mentioned using bathrooms at somepoint in the MLP show.
- >Maybe ponies just don't shit.
- >I look over at Applejack and Rainbow eating some cake.
- >I make my way over there
- >Just be casual about it
- >"Hey, Applejack, when you eat food, where does it go?"
- >Fuck.
- >She seems confused
- >"In my mouth?" she guesses
- >"Yeah, but what about after that?"
- >"Im my belly?"
- >"Okay, and after that?"
- >"Gosh, Anon, I don't know. Why does it matter?"
- >"I just want to know if you shit or not."
- >The music stops
- >All eyes on me.
- >"Why are you acting so weird, Anon?"
- >I figure I may as well tell it straight
- >"In the human world, after you digest food, it turns into shit and the shit comes out your ass into a toilet"
- >Silence
- >"Oh," Twilight speaks up,"Well, that's very, um, interesting"
- >Her voice wavers
- >"Well, h-here in Equestr-"
- >She snorts
- >Then she cracks up laughting
- >The other ponies join in, literally rolling on the floor
- >"I don't understand" I say
- >"Of course we shit!" Pinkie says, "Everybody shits!"
- >"But-"
- >"I used illusion spells to hide the toilets" Twilight says through her tears
- >I have been defeated.
- >"WAIT!" I say
- >The laughing stops
- >"I've been here for 4 days, and I haven't had to hold my shit in at all!"
- >"That's the best part" Twilight says
- >I turn to look at her
- >She's charging up a spell
- >"No wait!" I try to scream, but it's too late
- >I'm back in my bed on earth
- >mfw there's horse shit everywhere
- >mfw Twilight put a portal to earth on my ass