MY LARGE HORSE: BIG CONSQUENCES BOOK FINALTESS PART 1

BUK FINALTESS

ALL GOD TONGS MUST CUM TO AN BENDS

Prolooge:

 

Imaggin, an sorts of place were thyme continues to flow endlessly. Like a grill who is in a constantance menstration cycle and has no tampon. It repets over and over, following the sam cycle word for word, action by action. It is a cycle of borth and not borth, that leds to repetitive redundancy of repeating resolutions that really ravages and rends reality, rarely retconning or ripostes.

 

This is such a place that reality is, it cycles over and over, but why? What leads existance to repet itself over and over?

 

There are 3 Guds who know this truff. The Gud of Tim, The Gud of Lif, and The Gud of Nuffin.

These three Guds have avators in this wurld, and in al wurlds and speak into truff into their avators. Those chosen and who have seen this truth, have forever ben changed.

 

The Gud of Tim seeks to change this cycle, The Gud of Lif seeks to keep this cycle, and The Gud of Nuffin seeks to destory all cycles.

 

This is the only, and absolut truff.

CHAPTER 1: EVONY AND IBONY

 

Spik hole his head and shake vigorously like he was attempting to do the Michael J Fox and the Chief Justice Roberts after seeing strobbing lights dance.

 

His head rung loudly, he try to peace together his mammries, but then remmomber that he was nut mammal and didnt make milk, so he grub his dragon cuk and mad milk that way.

 

Upon spraying dragon cheese upon a toadstool who was in regal wear, I think perhaps it was a Vicar or Noblewoman, but definately not a Princess, Spik sat down.

 

How am Spik here?

Where Twilit?

Why am I alone agin?

I miss Rorty,

Im hungry

I wish I wasn't a bad character

CRAWLING IN MY SCALES, THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL.

 

Spik curl up into ball and begin cri.

"Oh Gourd, I am alone, no one is here"

 

"What a surprise for me to have found! I thought I heard someone, but its just a faggot on the ground!"

Spik raised his hed fastly, and there was Zoocockring standing in front of him with a throbbing wotch doctor vagoo and eating watermelon flavoured spaghetti.

"Aha so it does hear, too bad for me its a little queer"

Spik ran to Zoocockring and held her.

"Oh what am I do here? Were Twilit? Were freinds? Why can't I remomber?"

Zoocockring took two stops back and say "For those things I will answer, but if you touch me again I'll rape your ass sir!"

Spik look to sky and saw smok, and began worry.

"Now let us hurry and make haste, we do not have time to waste. To my hut we shall go, hurry the fuck up you little homo."

Zoocockring disappeared into the woods, as Spik cri a little.

"Everyone, please be okay."

CHAPTER 2: HUNDREDS OF CHANNELING BUT NOTHING TO WATCH

 

Spik run with much fastness to keep up with the mystery full wotch doctor. All the willy his hed floshing through many mammries. He saw a woman, not a horse but an actual woman, with boobies and all with long flowly hairsitting across a creature that look like a giant squid but with a top hat monocle and a corn cob pipe. They were arguing about someting something about getting milk from the market and how my mother was always right about you. The two lashed at each other, while Spik hear chuckle from his point of view.

 

"Hurry inside you must not lag, get the fuck in here you little fag."

 

Spik shok his head agin, and realized he was walking continuosly into Zoocockrings tree house fort that was on Chicken Legs like a NPC who had not been paying attention.

 

"Sorry, let me cum inside."

Spik try to find dor, but the house kept spinning round every tim Spik try to face the dor.

 

"Srsly, what the fudge ZooCockRing! Your house is an dick!"

ZooCockRing simle and say

 

"With my home you must understand, that it follows its own certain plan, to enter in you must know the phrase, the answer only known to gays"

 

Spik sat down and thunk.

"AHA! I'VE GOTTEN IT!"

Spik pointed at the chicken legg'd house and say.

" Ryan Seacrest is actually 20 marmosets inside of a human puppet that is meant to be operated by 32 Cane Toads!"

 

The house turned round, dor facing Spik and ZooCockRing.Tricky who was busily and painfully regenerating from her competely hellish encounter with Rorty was slowly limping towards the unlikely duo.

"GREETINGS FELLOW LIVEALOTS! IT IS I TRICKY AND I LIVE YET AGAIN!"

The chicken legged house sat down right down on Tricky and farted.

"OH NO CHICKEN BUTT" say Tricky as she was smushed by the house.

"What the fuck was that?" Say Spik.

"Nothing to worry little dragon, just a healing mutant who fell of the wagon."

" Oh. Hah!"

Spik and Zoocockring both laff as they walk inside.

Zoocockring's house was full of magic tings, many of which were so awesome to look at, but honestly couldnt be described because such a thing would leave a normal man MAD.

 

"Come, I shall make tea, with memory powder, and also my pee."

Zoocockring went to her kitchen and put on an apron and suddenly became a mammy and changed her voice dialect as well.

"Oh lawdy child, you have missed a lot. The Devils at work in Ponyburg and CannotRentorLot. Many ponies are gone, that we all can see, All of your friends, including Rarity."

 

Spik tear up, and run into kitchen, but being dumb Spik hit his head off a low hanging frying pan triggering another flashback.

 

"Idiot! What good is there in absolute nothingness? You know that we are all somethings you know?"

*Wet gurggel sounds that really can't be translated*

"What do you mean that you don't care anymore? YOUR A FUCKING GOD, DEAL WITH IT YOU PUSSAPUSS!"

*More wet smacking sounds*

"Fine! I'll take your bet. We'll let this cycle go without interupption, if it goes as usual, then I win, You will be banished to exist for all eternity. If you win, and the cycle changes, then I will banish myself, and you can have your absolute nothingness."

*Wet gurggles intensifies*

"No, let him stay outside of the game, he is such a buzzkill and he'll probably fuck it up for both of us."

 

"Child..... Child....? Are you awake? It seems that you have been hit in the face?"

 

Spik cam too, and saw Zoocockring with a boiling hot kettle in her moff, and Spik say.

 

"Not sure, saw something weird."

 

Zoocockring simled and say, "To the table my dear, you have much to hear."

 

Spik and ZooCockRing made way to the diner and sat down. Tricky was somehow vaccuum sealed under the Chicken Butt of the house, and ZooCockRing smiled evilly.

"Oh what generous luck! A nice cushion for my massive butt!"

Zoocockring sat down as Tricky muffled screams could be heard.

ZooCockring poured the tea and gave a glass to Spik,

 

"Drink up and learn, for all the answers that you yearn."

 

Spik was like YOLOSWAG and drank it one one gulp. Suddenly flashes to everything that happened, Twilit being ate, Shiny Rock Land being destoryed, Rorty being kilt by Queen Christopher Robin as millions of ponies running from her GLORIOUS STRIPED PANTSU as they were being ate by the evil gant Queen in her many hungry holes. The radiator hitting him in the head, and causing his death. Spik shook his head, and look with on his face of many grizzled war veteran.

 

"I died, didnt I Zoocockring?"

Zoocockring drank more tea, and said.

"To this I have no suprise, you were always a bad character in my eyes."

Spik shuddered, "Zoocockring, have you ever heard of a Giant Squid wearing a Top hat and a monocle while smoking a corn cob pipe?"

Zoocockring dropped her glass as her eyes opened wide and began shaking violently like an epiletic father shaking his baby to retardation.

"W-w-w-w-w-what did you just say?"

It had been the first time she spoke without rhyme in 30 years.

"A giant squid, wearing a top hat and a monocle smoking...."

Zoocockring had both hooves on Spiks shoudlers.

"A corn cob pipe?"

Spik was afeared,

"Y-yes."

Zoocockring ran to hear bukshelf and began pulling candes, chalk and other wotch stuff and began furiously making a circle in the floor.

"Zoocockring, whats gotten into you?"

"SILENCE YOU FOOL, THERE ARE FORCES AT WORK GREATER THAN BOTH OF US."

Spik shut up quickly, but he was used to that treatment. Zoocockring sat in the middle of her circle and began chanting.

"Ewe mo wae wae wie zie dao Ewe mo wae wae wie zie dao. Great gods of beyond I speak to thee, make your presence known to me!"

Spik walked to Zoocockring and she opened her eyes. She began shitting herself at the force of 10 billion jet engines. For unbeknowst to Spik, he had a Spirit coming from behind him like a mother fucking stand.

It was a bearded man, with a vest on, and he had three hats that were on top of each other, because he was a wealthy Englishman saying that he was superior than all the other poor Irishmen who did not have headwear.

Zoocockring shook and trembled as the Stand glared at her, and brought a finger to his lips, motioning her for silence.

The Stand went into Spik, as Spik shuddered a little.

"Zoocockring, are you okay?"

Zoocockring muttered something, like she had seen the pure answer to all the universes.

"I am fine, but we have no time. We must hurry, quickly grab me some curry."

"W-what?" Spik said as he ran into the kitchen, avoiding the haphazard cooking untensils.

"Spik, you have a gift unknown, and with it, you will save the world."

Spik came back out from the kitchen, with a silly chef hat wearing an aporn that said "Kiss the Cock" and holding a mixing bowl.

"HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?????????????????????????????"

CHAPTER 2: Only classy fucks will get the reference.

 

"M-me? Save the world? What the fuck was in that tea Zoocockring?"

"I know it sounds strange, and totally absurd, but this is the truth, every single word. Now quickly come here, and listen to me, follow my instructions exactly as you see."

 

Spik was confuzzled, but obeyed, just like he did for the most part of his life.

 

Zoocockring found a vinyl record and put it in her phonograph.

"Listen to everything this phonograph says, we need to do this right to prevent the end of days"

 

"It's a jump to the left."

Spik and Zoocockring jumped to their left.

"and then a step to the r-iiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ght."

they took a step to the right.

"Put your hands on your hips"

they followed perfectly.

"You bring in knees in tight"

Spik and Zoocockring brought their knees in like they had to pee really badly and there was no bathroom.

"But it's the pelvic thrust, That really drives you insaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane."

Spik and Zoocockring began pelvic thrusting at the speed of ten thousand Freddie Mercuries as a rift in time began opening in front of them and sucked them both inside. It closed up behind them as a chorus of many ponies suddenly came out of nowhere and sang.

"LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"

Spik shook his head again,

"God, I haven't done that since the 88' Oakland show in King's Theater. You okay Zoocockring?"

Spik look round, but she was nowhere to be find.

Spik began doing the hole, "GOD IM ALONE" bullcrap thing again and hiper ventalating everywhere and puking blud.

"Why does everyone leaf me?" Spik sputtered under tears.

"You are not alone Spik"

Suddenly 6 orbs appeared round Spik, one yeller, one orange, one rainbow, one white, one pink and one purple.

 

"We are with you Spik, our essence is still alive, and our friendship is still alive." The Purple one said.

 

"We could never you little guy." The Rainbow one said.

 

"Yup lil pardner, you look like your inna bind" said the Orange one.

 

"But right now, I think w-we got the prob-blem" said the Yellow one.

 

"And its a super duper big humungous need to rewrite time problem too!" said the Pink one.

 

"Spik, we need you, everypoony needs you, I need you. Save us Spik." said the White one.

 

Spik bowed his head, and clenched his fists.

"But how? Everyone is dead! Everyone! Hell, I WAS DEAD UNTIL 30 MINUTES AGO!"

 

" That would be where I come in friend"

Spik turned round and saw the Stand with the Excsuisite Headgear. The White Orb began orgasming immediately at seeing at the fashionable hat.

 

"Hello there. I'm the God of Time, looks like you'll be taking the place of my usual friend."

Spik shook his head, like hes been doing constantly.

"H-huh what? I didn't invite you in my body! THATS MY PURSE I DONT KNOW YOU!" Spik tried to kick the Stand in the testicles, but appairently Spiritual Embodiments of the Orginal Universe dont have genetalia. Naw Im kidding, he kicked him right in the fucking balls.

 

"Ooof... right in the cock too. Look, I'm not really sure why its you either, you nearly dont have enough capacity as my last form, but whatever. Whats done is done, now we have to save all of existance from my "acquaintances"

"What do you need me to do?"

The Stand readjusted his misaligned testicles, and breathed a sigh of release.

"First off, we are going to save your friends."

Pointing to the 6 orbs.

"Secondly, we are going to undo the entire chain of events."

He pulled out a pocket watch, and began fiddling with it.

"Thirdly, we are going to reset everything, kill my two acquaintances, and allow that all realities and existances to be free."

 

Spik dropped to the technical floor, because it was kind of Space Time and there was no floor.

 

"What do you say Spik? How do you feel on being the saviour of literally all of existances?"

 

Spik stood up.

" I guess I dont have any real choice."

"Oh boy, here we go." The Rainbow Orb said sarcastically as everyone laughed.

Spik surrounded by his friends and a sense of purpose,said verly manly and heroically.

"Let's go everyone."

The White Orb orgasmed again and the Stand smiled as he closed his pocketwatch.

 

"Well said, now, lets go everyone."

 

Chapter 3: Back to the Past Present that is in the Future Past!

 

Spik materialized out of thin air in HorsePunCity. The city was dark and had storm clouds thick as Princess Sun's fat buttcheeks, which is pretty damn impressive.

"Good, it didn't happen yet." The White Orb said as it came out of Spik.

"What didn't happen?"

The White Orb flew around as if looking for something.

" I didn't die yet Spik."

"You mean Rorty, wait... YOUR RORTY?"

"No shit sherlock." said the White Orb.

Spiks eyes filled with silly cheesy hearts like some shitty 80's cgi animation as a comical giant tear drop came from the White Orbs head.

"C'mon Spike, we have to change the events of what is happening, Quickly Spik. TO THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN!"

Spik began running after the White Orb,

"Let nothing stand in our way Spik! We must make hurry! OH. MY. GOD. THOSE SHOES ARE ADORABLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Spik grabbed the White Orb and began dragging her away from the stores window.

 

Meanwhile at the Opera House....

Octavillary sat alone in her dressing home as she fiddled with the picture of Vinny Scrocth and her sitting together in a park.

"Vinny.... I really wish you would've come tonight."

A sudden knock at the door brought Octavillery from her slight depression.

"Oh! Coming!" Octavillery quickly binded her hair with a treble cleft clip and rushed to the door. She opened it, half hoping it would be her love. No such luck, it was her manager.

"Are you ready Ms. Octavillary? The crowd is growing anxious."

Octavillary sighed, "Yes, give me an additional 5 minutes, and I'll be ready."

"Very well, break a leg Ms Octavillary" Her manager shut the door, and walked away.

As he walked down, many stagehands walked past him in hurry in preparation for the show. He made his way to the Highest seat in the Operahouse. As he sat down, he put his hands together as his glasses shone and he glowed with a green aura whispered.

"All is ready my queen. You may begin in 5 minutes."

Octavillary sighed, it was time. She grabbed her Cello, and proceeded to the stage. The Operahouse's lights dimmed as the clamouring buzz of the audience silenced. The curtains pulled back, as it revealed Octavillary, the orchestra began playing softly.

 

http://youtu.be/q5Y2B55nKZY [Embed]

(please play for full effect)

 

Spik stood at the slums of HorsePunCity with the White Orb, the storm clouds crashing and the smell of a great squall was on the horizon.

"It was here, wasn't it Rorty?"

"Yes Spik.... I died here fighting Queen Christopher Robin, because I failed, HorsePunCity was destoryed. Here I come now."

As the White Orb said, The Giant Rorty came flying from the sky, and stood on the border of HorsePunCity. Not even 30 seconds later, a great rumbling from the horizon, it was a soft rumble at first, that grew and catrophinated into a great buzzing that was unescapable.

Millions upon millions of Chonglongs, lead by their Giant Queen.

"The Storm is here." The White Orb said.

Giant Rorty put up a force field around HorsePunCity as the first wave of Chonglongs smashed into it dying immediately.

The second wave noticed this and attacked Rorty directly. Rorty was strong though, and sent an electric field from her horn to her body. Frying all the biting and gnawing at her massive body. This effectively took care of waves 2-7. One hundred thousand down, only 3 billion left to go.

 

"YEAH! YOU GO RORTY! YOU SHOW THEM WHOSE BOSS!" Spik cheered.

 

But then suddenly a great green flashed blinded the entire sky, and Giant Rorty as well.

"RORTY! LOOK OUT!"

But Giant Rorty didn't hear Spik, as she was tackled by Queen Christopher Robin.

Queen Christopher Robin sank her massive fangs into the neck of Rorty.

Rorty shrieked in agony, as 60 million Chonglongs followed their Queens cue and sunk their fangs into Rorty.

"RORTY!!!" Spik screamed, as he began running towards the forcefield.

"SPIK NO!" The White Orb cried follwing Spik "If you die now, everything will have been for nothing!"

Spik continued running past building past building, almost crashing into unaware ponies and into speeding cars.

"I don't care, I can't just watch as Rorty dies! I cant do that, she's my friend, and if I don't do something to help her, than that's worse than dying!"

The White Orb stopped and choked up.

"Oh Spik...."

Giant Rorty sent another powerful pulse from her horn, and fried the small fry from her body, and stunning the Massive Chonglong Queen. Rorty kicked the stunned Queen off from her, and held her bleeding wound. Suddenly the CannotRentOrLotians started levitating from Rorty's GLOIOUS STRIPED PANTSU, and began healing her wound with their combined magic.

Rorty stood back up and did a kung fu pose. motioning her hoof to "Come at me Bro"

Queen Christopher Robin howled at the gesture

"YOU INSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT. DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Queen Christopher Robin became engulfed by Green Flames as she charged at remarkable speed at Rorty. Rorty crossed her arms as fended off the charge, but struggling to do so. The forcefield began flickering, it was too much to keep up with. Several Chonglongs entered the force field as it weakened.

Queen Christoper Robin smirked evily,

"Now my children!"

Suddenly, from where Rorty was bitten, tens of thousands of Chonglongs erupted from Rorty.

The force field vanished as the Chonglong horde entered the city.

Rortys eyes dilated as she collapsed, hitting the ground with a mighty earthquake.

"RORRRRRRRRRTYYYYYYYYY" Spik ran into the battlefield, constantly dodging around the oncoming locust swarm, the White Orb guiding him.

"Left darling! RIGHT! RIGHT! ABOVE YOU! WATCH OUT!"

A sudden dogpile of Chonglongs tackled Spik as they tried to suffocate him under their body heat, they smiled as chuckled. But in a sudden flash of green fire, they were vanquished.

"RORTY!!!!!!"

Giant Rorty blinked into the dark sky, smoke began filling the sky as she started hearing screams from HorsePunCity. Her eyes filled with tears, she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it without her friends, she thought back to all of them. Twilit, Ranboar, Orangebill, Fluttshy, Plinko, SweetieBassoon, and Spik... dear Spik... she smiled.

"I'm so sorry everyone, especially to you Spik."

Spik kept screaming as he punched oncoming Chonglongs.

"RORTY RORTY HANG ON!!!"

Rorty smirked,

"Even now, I hear your voice, beckoning me to the afterlife... there Spik, I'll let you know how I feel."

Rorty began to close her eyes.

"RORRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

Her eyes opened, and right in front of her, standing literally right in front of her eye was Spik. He was panting, covered in green blood, and his own as well.

"*Cough.....Wheeze...R-rorty! I've made it!"

Rorty's eye began filling up with tears of sadness and confusion.

"S-s-spik? But.... you are dead."

"No I'm not Rorty, not as long as my friends are alive, and need my help, I wont die. Please dont die Rorty. I love you!"

"NOWS MY TIME!" The White Orb shone as she flew toward Giant Rorty and sunk into her body.

Rorty began healing from her wound as her magic refueled, a great electric field shot from her horn as her back arced and her eyes became full of magic. The Chonglongs within the city instantly fried, as Queen Christopher Robin screamed.

"IMPOSSIBLE!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!"

Rorty said nothing, and stared at the evil Queen.

"SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW" The Queen charged again, but this time, Rorty held her back with one arm on her horn. Queen Christopher Robin in shock screamed. "NOOO!!! IMPOSSIBLE!" Rorty threw a mighty fist into Queen Christopher Robins stomach, causing her to dry heave. One blow followed by the other, strong mighty blows that began breaking and bursting internal body organs.

"YEAH!!! GO FOR IT RORTY!"

The final note sang out in the Orchesta house. Octavillary, covered in sweat as she bowed to the audience. Outrageous applause was given as cheers and whistles echoed through the hall while dead flowers were thrown at her. The curtain closed, and Octavillary went back to her dressing room because FUCK IT all places have dressing rooms. There waiting for her was her Beautiful Transvestite Wife with an Alligator Penis, Vinny Scrotch.

"YOU CUMMED!"

Octavillary shouted as she hugged Vinny.

"I SURE DID" Vinny said as she wiped away the excess "LIQUID PRIDE" from her alligator penis.

"I missed you so much Vinny, I thought you wouldn't cum because of your event."

"I wouldn't have missed this, even if the world was ending...."

"Here, I've got something to show you..."

Octavillary blushed, and threw her hair to the side like all tsundere style. "Y-you dont have to show me anything b-baka, I'm just happy your here."

Vinny smiled,

"No, this is important"

Octavillary, looked back at Vinny, who was on her knee.

"Octavillary, will you do me the honor?"

Octavillary's eyes widened... it was really happening.

"Of being my beloved, my one and only bride?"

Octavillary was full of happiness, as she mak tear and cry.

"YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!!"

They kiss wif tong, and Vinny grab her by the hoof,

"Cum on Waifu! Let's go to the balcony to really capture the moment!"

The two ran up the stairs as Octavillary looked at the woman she loved, and imagined the long life they had for each other, raising children, waking every morning to each other, growing old together, it filled her with so much happiness. Vinny and Octavillary busted through the balcony doors, and what they saw... caused more shock than the sudden proposal. Octavillery held Vinny closely.

 

Octivillary and Vinny saw it, The Two Giant Ponies fighting on the outskirts of town, they knew both of them and cheered.

"GO RORTY! FUCK HER UP! YOU CAN WIN" Everyone in the city followed suit and began cheering.

Rorty heard the cheers from HorsePunCity, and it gave her an incredible boost of energy.

A quick blow that busted Queen Christopher Robins Belly Sacs, as the Queen Shrieked in Agony.

"With all the power of these people within me."

Rorty raised her fist.

"Of the people who are cheering me on"

The HorsePunCity folk cheer harder and harder as Octavillary and Vinny Scrotch start beating up the manager as he was trying to flee revealing his true form.

"And through the person whom I love"

Spik was stood with his hand over his eyes as he round kicked a Chonglong trying to sneak up on him.

"With all of these at my disposal, You will finally die you cretin"

Queen Christopher Robin screamed and lunged at Rorty one last time.

Rorty swung harder than she ever did, taking all the energies from all those sources, as Queen Christopher Robin started falling upon her arm. Her chest was puncuntred, as she kept gnawing and gnashing, mere inches away from Rortys face. Rorty unleashed her biggest electrical field, and was eletricfying the inside of the Giant Queen. Smoke was emitting from every oriface as small fires began erupting from under her skin. One by one, Chonglongs began screaming in agony, as they fell over in death.

"Its not over... not by a long shot."

Queen Christopher Robin painfully whispered, and then her eyes depressurized as sparks began escaping from her scalp lighting her hair aflame.

It was over. The cheers from HorsePunCity were deafening in celebration. Rorty took her fist out from the still burning carcess of the Chonglong Queen, as she sat down in exhaustion.

Spik ran up to her and as she picked him up they both smiled and laughed.

"Way to go Rorty!"

"Spik, thank you so much. I--Spik? WHATS HAPPENING TO YOU?"

Spik began glowing as The Stand appeared once more.

"Its time Spik"

"I know, we have to save the others."

"Spik? Please dont go Spik, not yet"

"Rorty, I'll never be truly gone. But there is something I have to do first."

"Spik... I-i love"

Spik held a finger to Rortys lips, which is kind of funny when you think about it, a little dragon telling a giant pony to shush.

"I know. Wait for me Rorty, I'll be back." Spik said as he disappeared into Space Time once more.