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Grammar Explosion and its stellar sequel

By: a guest on Jun 11th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.91 KB  |  hits: 161  |  expires: Never
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  1. GRAMMAR EXPLOSION!!!!
  2.  
  3. >God damn, you don't get it.
  4.  
  5. [Grammatically fine]
  6.  
  7. >There's a difference between making a short, one sentence point once in the entirety of a story, and knowing how to use that, as opposed to making everything that, when it's more rare, it has much more impact, or it's much more choppy, or a lot of other things that HELP STORY TELLING.
  8.  
  9. [This sentence is a mess to read. Commas FUCKING EVERYWHERE. Consider revision. Apply yourself]
  10.  
  11. HOW I WOULD DO IT:
  12. [[There's a difference between making short, one sentence points in a story. It's supposed to highlight those moments. With everything a one sentence phrase, you lose that edge. As a result, you make your prose less compelling.]]
  13.  
  14. >And structuring similar thoughts, into one paragraph, instead of making them all sentences.
  15.  
  16. [Seriously, apply yourself.]
  17.  
  18. >It's the purpose of the paragraph. It's how we read.
  19.  
  20. [I see that you understand how to write short sentences. That's good.]
  21.  
  22. >>blandish insults
  23. >No, these are general insults, they're meant to attack the thread as a whole.
  24.  
  25. [Comma Splice]
  26.  
  27. >I was around [for?] the first couple, I came back, and read through 5 threads worth of schlock before coming to these conclusions.
  28.  
  29. [English might not be your native language. Oh, comma splice.]
  30.  
  31. >I can't remember writers names, because I hate names and ignore them, whether it be /b/reads, here, or fwuffy poni threads.
  32.  
  33. [♥]
  34.  
  35.  
  36.  
  37. GRAMMAR EXPLOSION 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO IN DA HOOD
  38.  
  39. >>2498414
  40. >One that admits his work is filth. How refreshing.
  41.  
  42. [Grammatically correct]
  43.  
  44. >Go improve then, sign up for actual writing classes, and come back, show these people how it's done.
  45.  
  46. [How you speak IRL =! Written English. Try harder.]
  47.  
  48. >>I'm not going to hurt anyone
  49. >I think you people are some of the cancer of this board, but that's just me, your contributions make it spiral ever further.
  50.  
  51. [Comma Splice (jesus fucking christ, dude)]
  52.  
  53. >Then again, you could not care about a board on 4chan, but damn it all, I can say I tried because of these posts.
  54.  
  55. [Comma Splice]
  56.  
  57. >>2498454
  58. >Two. My lord, not in the weeks I've been doing this has it happened so quickly.
  59.  
  60. [Passive voice]
  61.  
  62. >Anyways, the point is to hopefully cause some of you to either leave, or improve.
  63.  
  64. [Unnecessary Comma (after 'leave')]
  65.  
  66. >Either will keep these threads from fucking up the board with your current level of writing.
  67.  
  68. [Subject unclear. Consider revision.]
  69.  
  70. HOW I WOULD DO IT:
  71. [[Choosing either the former or the latter will keep these threads from becoming the cancer of the board.]]
  72.  
  73. >But, since you're content to go with[,] "it's the internet, I don't got to do shit[,]" I guess I'll say to you what I say to all hedonistic shitbags who can't be bothered to care a bit for self preservation sake.
  74.  
  75. [You forgot some pretty necessary commas. It's ironic since you abuse them everywhere else. (I added them for you)]
  76.  
  77.  Fuck off you incessant twat.
  78.  
  79. [♥]
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