Domme stuff

I need help.

I lurk these threads all the time, even if I don't post a lot. I'm having a problem with my Domme, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

 

I'm a female sub, living with my female Domme. We've been together for about 5 years at this point, and never really had problems. We're very much in love, and have a great life together.

 

The problem is, hanging out in these threads always make me feel incredibly unfulfilled. Partially because there are a lot of very inventive Dominants here, and Miss tends to have a very set in stone formula. But mostly because of the stories I hear about outside of the bedroom.

 

Now, before I go further I want to be clear. I know I am going to be told to talk to her, but mostly I need help finding a way to breach the subject, and what needs to be said, versus what I should just deal with. That being said, I'll continue.

 

So, outside the bedroom. Our dynamic extends to outside the bedroom, but I want more. A lot more. As it is, my duties include fetching things and not being a terrible person. Needless to say I am fully capable of both these things.

 

I see people here talking about orders, fun ones and not so fun ones, even chores, and I am just filled to the brim with a sense of needing that. For example, Ghost talking about ordering his submissives to do journal entries hit me pretty hard.

 

Under the same category of things, I have no positive or negative reinforcement, or the structure in my life I would like from a Domme. I can pretty much act however I want within the bounds of my personality and never get reprimanded. For that matter, I can follow orders perfectly and never get praise.

 

When I expressed this to Miss, it didn't really work out. She misunderstood me, and gave me a list of chores. Which is fine, but without structure, without positive and negative reinforcement, without the possibility of hearing kind words when I do well, it's still just unfulfilling.

Then along with that a list of things that need to be done each week is okay, but without any other input from her it is hard. I might just be being spoiled on this front, but to me getting ordered to do something in the moment is very much more rewarding than getting a list. I don't want her to feel like she has to micromanage every little thing, but hearing her say "Do the dishes now." is way different than just having a blanket order that is, "Do the dishes whenever the sink is full" with no other input from her at all.

 

Then, there are not even any consequences if I don't do these things. I mean, I feel bad, but I need to be punished, and not in a fun way. I need to feel like she is watching, and if I mess up there are consequences for messing up.

 

As it is, I have had countless orders fade away over the years just because if they are inconvenient I don't have to obey. There is no downside for not obeying. I know this makes me a spoiled terrible submissive, but that is why I want structure and training. I want to improve, but it's so hard when there is no good to be gained from doing so, or bad to be avoided.

 

For her part, I know that being a Domme that does all these things is a lot of work. It is asking a lot of her. I understand that. On top of this, I am not sure she is capable of some things. Like punishing me. I think that falls into her mental definition of 'hurting me' and that is a no no. I also am not certain she has the self discipline to keep on me about following orders. I don't know, she might.

 

All that done, I want to add that this is the only part of my life that I am feeling unfulfilled in. Which is part of the reason I am having such a hard time. Everything else at all is great.