Discovery Litwaks Ep. 3 Unedited/Incomplete

Good evening ,ladies and gentlemen, to today’s installment of “Discovery Litwaks”. Last time, we explored the feeding habits of a Queen Cybug and the hatching of two new members to the royal caste. Considerable time has passed since then, and now we find ourselves far from the warm heart of the hive, to a more familiar place.

 

Here the sun shines bright, the sky is pink, and the land sparkles with sugar like a million stars. This is the Sugar Rush racetrack.

 

Karts zoom by on the racetrack, sparks fly and fireworks sparkle as the racers desperately try to take the lead. But in the mountains high above the crash of karts and flaring tempers of the racers, two figures stalk the race with great curiosity.

 

Suddenly, our camera probes capture something swiftly stalking the hills above the races. A small, dark silhoute, moves with an unnatural grace and finesse, pausing only to look down upon the races.  A closure inspection reveals the full identity of our prey. What we are in fact looking at, is non-other than crown-princess Vespix.

 

She is one of the fittest specimens of Rossiya Glucosis we have seen so far. Her face is almost human, but her body is true to her cybug ancestry. Her mechanical muscles are built for speed and agility, faster than any kart or vehicle of man. Her mind moves at an astonishing pace, calculating each precious step of her feet like a supercomputer without breaking a sweat. As Vespix watches the races with avid curiosity, she finds herself a tall hill from which to overview the race. Here she sits for a good while, as the racers lap around her.

 

All the meanwhile, behind her a large figure slowly makes its way. A great dark silhouette, several hundred times her size and wreathed in dark smoke and flame, creeps up to her. It raises itself to full height, and opens its massive claws and teeth. Vespix only has enough time to turn around and yell.

 

“It you long enough. You’re so slow, little brother!”

 

The huge creature pulls back, giving saddened mechanical groans along with several clicks of a fiery tongue.

The princess looks up to her sibling and laughs.

 

“How long will it take you to learn you’ll never sneak up on me?”

 

The creature now makes several worried sounds, as though something were amiss.

 

“Of course they’ll never find out. Mom and dad are too busy tending to their precious hive and doing that thing they always do to notice we are gone.”

 

Suddenly, the princess leaps onto a nearby candycane tree. With an incredible swiftness passed down from her mother, it takes her but a few bounds and some extraneous somersaults to land upon her brother’s shoulder, a full two stories in the air.

 

“Relax, little brother. Come on, let’s catch up with them! Please?”

 

Her brother, though still worried, cannot resist her older sisters demands and moves the hundreds of legs on his behemoth smoldering form. He melts the ground beneath him into caramel,  but the princess is accustomed to his extraordinary heat. In fact, she had grown up with it.

 

Though nowhere near as quick as his older, more agile sister, Vander makes his way through several shortcuts Vespix had scouted out. At last, they perch themselves upon a cliff, from where they can see the racers quickly approaching the finish line.

 

“It must be amazing, racing in those karts. I mean, of course I could easily beat them in a race any day, but they look so free and happy!”

 

As the pair look on, the racers are neck in neck, vying for even an inch of lead. The line approaches, it will be a close one. A marshmallow ready’s to drop his flag and-

 

“Taffyta wins again!” the announcer’s voice permeates the air.

 

The stands roar with cheering candy as the announcer makesvictory speech, and Taffyta and the two runner ups go to the stage to accept their gold coins. As Sourbill hands them the coins, the scene grows quiet and everyone turns to an empty throne in a moment of silence.

 

“What are they doing? Move in closer, I can’t hear.”

 

Vander attempts to move his body as close to the edge as possible. As he tilts over the edge, single foot slips, followed by another, then by ten more. Vespix jumps off as her brothers body tumbles down the ravine towards the unsuspecting crowd. As she falls, she releases her wings and glides herself to the cliff edge, where she begins to run down the side of the cliff to keep up with her tumbling brother. As Vander falls, his body picks up a cover of sugar and frosting.

 

Below, the crowds silence turns to hushed whispers and then to screams  as people hear the approaching landslide. Racer and candy alike scramble in different directions Vander finally smashes through the stands, toppling King Candy’s throne. A foreshadowing perhaps?

 

Nevertheless, the prince does not look very regal at the moment. When the sugary dust clears and settles, Vander, covered in pink frosting and now raised to full height, looks more like a large ground worm than his normal fiery visage. The frosting around him begins to bubble, then finally bursts into flames from the intense heat of his body.

As the pillar of frost and fire stood before them, all in the crowd ceased running and watched in fear and silence. Rancis who tripped and fell, sat alone before the monolith. Vander stays still, unknowing what to do; frosting has covered his sole eye.

 

“That thing’s a monster, kill it!”

 

And here arrive on the scene Sugar Rushes finest. The Donut Patrol is once again the first, and the last, to respond to danger.  The police attempt to harm Vander by throwing candy spears, in a futile gesture. Though such a tactic would never harm his armor of molten stone and steel, he is still surprised by the onslaught and begins to thrash violently and bite anything in range. Chunks of earth and thrown into the air, and the ground is gashed with great wounds.

 

In the middle of all this, only Vespix truly understands what is happening, and where everyone else flees she runs toward the destructive giant. She dodges a deadly tail swipe and runs in between his hundreds of stomping legs. Vespix runs and jumps up his massive body, and there are moments where if she were a fraction of a second delayed or even a single misstep she would be crushed entirely, and narrowly avoids being crushed by his jaws until at last she reaches the top of his head.

 

It is at this point that we should note that Vander, due to the fact that his ears and pores, is completely incapable of hearing. The princess, however, has another method of communication. She gives out a electronic signal, undetectable by the human senses, to communicate with her younger sibling. Our probes have the technology to both detect and effectively translate these signals. However, though we can understand the meaning of these signals, we can never know the true effect the real message has on other cybug. It is the same as knowing the lyrics to a song, without ever hearing the actual music. This is the true sign that she is indeed, heir to the throne of Von Schweetz.

 

“Calm, little brother, stay calm.”

 

Immediately Vander’s  body stills, and he ceases his roaring.

 

“Listen to me, little brother, follow me. Start digging.”

 

He lowers his whole body down upon the overturned ground which was once the track, and uses his jaws and legs to carve into the earth. Slowly and surely, the great body slinks into the ground and vanishes as the tunnel behind him collapses.

 

Left behind the stands is a scene of destruction not known since the last time a mysterious green monster appeared, but even then that did not match the carnage here. But amazingly, in the middle of all this devastation, Rancis is alone island of ground that escaped the demolition. Poor Rancis will sit there in a puddle of his own lemonade for some time.

 

-------

 

Deep underground, Vespix guides her brother ever closer to the hive. Her x-ray vision penetrates the earth, giving her the sight to see for miles around; already before her the glow of the cola-veins acts like a tiny beacon, something inherent in their race.

 

Finally, at last, they burst into the cave from the ground. The great head of Vander chews through the earth, with Vespix  jumping off it it.

 

“See little brother, you just need to learn to listen to me. I knew I’d get us out of trouble”

 

“Oh didja now?” A new familiar voice interupts her.

 

“Eep!”

 

Though Vespix hoped that by tunneling through to the deepest corner of the cave they could escape the wrath of their mother, not even she can outsmart the queen. She has been waiting her the whole time, already familiar with her daughter’s previous strategy.

 

“Um, wait mother. I can explain!”

 

“Sure ya can, you’ll be yappin an explanation outta that smart mouth a’ yours an’ me and daddy are going to make sure of that!”

 

As Vanellope grabs her daughter by the ear and drags her off, Vander can only retreat into a puddle of molten cola and gives out a long sigh, which translates either to “Here we go again” or “I told you so”.

 

------

 

While Vespix receives some strong Maternal words advice, let us turn our attentions to the Sugar Rush Castle.  We see an emergency meeting of the racers, with Sour Bill presiding over it all. The racers are eagerly listening to Rancis’ explanation of events.

 

“I saw it! It was big. It was all wiggly. And it ate everything!”

 

“That’s horrible.” exclaimed Gloyd, who was sticking his hands into a big bowl of caramel popcorn. He was always eating, as usual. “And I mean horrible as in that explanation is awful.”

 

“It was a Baked Alaskan Bull Worm!”

 

“A what?” Taffyta scoffed.

 

“A Baked Alaskan Bull Worm, burning in all it’s fury, I swear!”

 

“Oh please, Rancis, we all know about you and your tall tales.” Taffyta stood up “What we clearly saw was a boss or some enemy from another game perhaps. Maybe it’s those cybug things again, back to destroy us all” Spoke the more skeptical yet more intelligent Taffyta.

 

“Or maybe it just wants to be friends!” Candlehead interjected.

 

Everyone looks at Candlehead

 

“Well it was on fire, I liked that.” She shuffles back into her chair.

 

“Mmmmm, if you’re right Tafyta clearly we’ll need outside help.” Interjected Sour bill

 

“Yes Bill, but who do we ask? Ralph and Felix?”

 

“No. They might have saved our game from Turbo, but that was just luck. There’s only one person who’ll know what to do with Cybugs.”

 

“You don’t mean?”

 

“I do. I’ll have a messager send for her tomorrow.”

 

“The crazy woman wouldn't leave our game alone months. . .I actually feel kindy sorry for them once she finds them.” After Tafyta finished everyone subconsciously nodded.

 

“With nothing left we can do, all that’s left is for me to organize cleanup. This meeting is adjourned.”

 

The racers put on their hats, Gloyd’s still filled with candy, and head their separate ways. But as the other racers head to their respective karts, which thankfully survived the carnage, something is amiss with Candlehead. She seems preoccupied struggling with something in her kart. Gloyd notices, and walks over.

 

“Hey Candlehead” said Gloyd, who notably was one of the few to approach Candlehead despite her odd behavior “you look like you’ve got a problem with your kart. Did you fill the tank with unsweetened instead of premium again?”

 

“What! Oh, no. Don’t be silly, there’s nothing wrong with my- eep!”

 

Without any warning, something hops from Candlhead’s kart and to the attention of everyone else. What is it?

It is a Cybug. Part human, part machine. It peers around with a human face, unable to speak as it knows no words. Candlehead must’ve found it’s egg, as Vander has been known to get several caught within his body.

 

Taffyta see’s it immediately.

 

“Quick, catch it! Catch it before it lays eggs!”

 

Confused the baby knows not what to do. The other racers scramble and smother it, it’s little cries mingling with Candlehead’s as she tries to pry the other racers off. In the end the bug is captured by nearby guards and Candlehead is put into the fungeon. But alas, as much as it pains not to further elaborate on this scene me we must move onto our next location.

 

-----

 

It might have been a dark day in Sugar Rush after what had happened, but nothing in that land of milk and honey can compare to this place.

 

This is the dark and grim future. Here, there is ALWAYS war.

 

This is Hero’s Duty.

 

And amidst the screaming cries of man and machine, the angry orders and curses, and the roar of artillery and guns that thunder across the battlefield, two lone donut soldiers are running through the valley of death. Even my camera probes find some difficulty maneuvering away from the bullets and Cybugs. The donut soldiers rush to reach the safety a military complex.

 

What sort of creature could live, no less thrive, in such a hostile environment?  How can any being of flesh and blood endure this war-torn battlescape. None but the ancient enemy of Insectus Cyberneticus, one whose two histories have been nothing short of a war of extermination.

 

It is the evolutoin of man, superior to him in every aspect.

 

Homo adeptus

 

Taller, faster, stronger, smarter. They are the ubermensch, the master race. These giants among are gathered in their forward command post, where it is there that their leader, Sgt. Calhoun sits calmy in her desk, drinking coffee. In front of her two donut soldiers stand, shivering.

 

Without looking up, she addresses them. “And just who and what the hell are you?”

 

“uh. . .w-we’re f-f-f-rom S-s-s-s-s“ The donut soldiers tremble before her, as her reputation precedes her.

 

Calhoun sips her coffee, “Do you see this?” Calhoun raises her cup “If you don’t spit it out, I will personally brew a vat of this and have you both dipped, and eat you. Now talk.” Calhoun says this with a cold seriousness entirely characteristic of her.

 

The donut soldier gulps and takes a deep breath “We’re from Sugar Rush Ma’am!” They say in a short gasp.

 

Calhoun takes another sip of her coffee.

 

“Of course you are. Well, tell me. What does Mr. bill have to say to me?”

 

“Prime Minister Bill has an important message to Sgt. Calhoun of the Unite-“

 

“Clearly it is important. In the months since Turbo bit the bullet I could tell that man knew how to run a nation. Alright, cut to chase, tell me what I want to hear soldiers.”

 

The two donut soldiers look at each other, and behind them they pull out a box covered in a rag. There is a shivering noise, and the two soldiers place the box on the table.

 

“Prime Minister bill said this should be enough”. The donut soldiers lift the sheath.

 

Calhoun is not a woman to be caught off guard by even the most extreme sights, but this is one that may haunt her forever. A baby Cybug, of the Rossiya Glucosis species, stares up at her with human eyes. Calhoun is almost conflicted at the sight, something so human looking at her. Something in her wants to call for pity.

 

It is only a moment.

 

Disgust fills her, followed by rage. Now desk items go flying, cabinets are torn down, papers fill the air. Calhoun smashes a button, and gargantuan guards immediately burst into the room.

 

“GET THAT OUT OF MY SIGHT. SEND IT TO THE TECHBOYS TO ANALYE, ANYWHERE BUT HERE!” Calhoun fumes and rages, the massive soldiers quickly shuffle the box out as the baby cybug begins to cry for its mother. The donut soldiers tremble in fear, a small trickle of lemonade drips to the floor.

 

It takes a moment for Calhoun to regain her composure, she turns to the two donuts. She stands tall, fixes her hair, and takes on a weak smile. “Tell Prime Minister bill that the United States expeditionary force 11 will be happy to provide security and assistance in dealing with the new cybug infestation.”

 

The donut soldiers stand for a  moment, before quickly stumbling over each other to get out the door.

Now the Sgt. stands alone in her messy office. She stares out the window, watching the donuts run into the distance and out the portal. She calmly walks to her desk, pulls out a drawer, inside is a gun and some bullets. She quietly loads the gun, cocks it, and walks out the door. As she walks, her smile vanishes into an angry scowl. Before she leaves her game, a single sentence escapes her lips.

 

“I’m gonna murder that fat bastard.”