Uncouth - Part 5

>Day 719 in Equestria.

>This is probably the first morning you’ve woken up in a good mood. Ever.

>Take shower. Eat breakfast. Bundle up. Exit house. Deal with Rainbow Da—Oh, no Rainbow Dash.

>This is going to be one of those great days, isn’t it?

>You needed one of those.

>Even the clear blue sky agrees with how great today is going to be.

>You give it a thumbs up for some reason.

>The walk to Carousel Boutique is pleasant enough. Quiet.

>…

>Too quiet…

>Ha, nah. No such thing as too quiet.

>But it does force your mind to fill in some of that emptiness.

>You think back to the books you read last night. More specifically, the few tidbits of the one book you read.

>It was astonishing how boring those books were.

>You can only recall something about an average of a thousand male fatalities per estrus.

>Or something. Whatever.

>You read it really late at night so you probably misread that.

>The Boutique comes into view with a bit of a surprise.

>Several ponies dressed in white overalls scatter about the place setting up ladders and scaffolding.

>A few wave as you approach the building, others warn you that they’re painting the exterior.

>Oh! Yes! That means you don’t have to do it!

>You pump your fist before you walk in.

 

>As soon as you close the door, you hear Rarity call your name in a very annoyed tone.

>Uh oh, did you do something wrong.

>She walks into the room from the kitchen with a glare matching the tone of her voice.

>”You’re late, Anonymous!” Rarity says sharply.

“Wait, what?”

>You look over to the clock mounted on her wall.

>8:02

>Two minutes late.

>You want to scream something along the lines of, ‘BULLSHIT!’ but that’s very improper. Rarity would break out like, six newspapers for that.

“Uh… Yeah. Sorry about that, didn’t real-“

>”Hush! You have a very busy morning ahead of you!”

“What, I—Am I painting too?”

>”No, no, no! Come, follow me.”

>She quickly trots to her workshop with you in tow.

>She throws open the door in an overly dramatic fashion. All over the room equinequins are draped in back scraps of clothing.

>And very unrarity-like, the place is a mess. Tools scattered about, bolts of cloth not in their proper place, and even a toppled over chair.

>Something terrible has happened here…

“Did you get a rush yesterday?”

>”Not… Not exactly…”

>She quietly sighs to herself.

>”A member of the Apple family has unfortunately passed away…”

 

>You gasp and bring your hands to your mouth.

“Was it… Granny Smith?”

>”No, it was a pony I was unfamiliar with. One that didn’t even live in Ponyville.”

“Thank goodness…”

>Rarity’s eyes dart to yours when you realize what you said.

“I’m… I mean I’m glad it wasn’t… Not to say…”

>”I know what you meant, Anonymous. I feel the same way.” She looks back to the workshop and sighs again.

>”Shortly after I excused you, half of their family arrived to place one large order of funeral attire.”

“That’s… unfortunate.”

>”Quite. And unlike the Apple family I know, they were VERY specific. Something about making the dress remind them of the relative in some way. I’d go as far to say that Applejack’s dress is the most intricate.”

“Whoa.”

>”Yes, “whoa” is the appropriate response. I do love a challenge and my work but,” She lets out yet another sigh. This one is intentionally overdramatic. “Anonymoooouusssss, I have to make over thirty unique black dresses and suits by the end of next week!      “

>You exhale slowly and debate between your options, even if there’s only one.

“Welp,”

>You give Rarity a gentle pat on the head.

>Then you walk into the middle of the room and assess the situation.

>Oh wait, you have no idea what to do.

>You turn around to face Rarity.

“Where do you want me?”

>Rarity looks at you with a dumbfounded expression on her face before it slowly turns to and enthusiastic smile.

 

>Rarity’s mood greatly improved since you showed her your willingness to get to work.

>She gave you a quick walkthrough of your task. You’re supposed to sew on what needs to be very precisely sewn or something like that.

>The idea scared you half to death.

>Rarity tittered lightly at your nervousness to do the task, but she demonstrated for you.

>She got very close to the cloth and asked you to do the same. Her face bumped into yours a couple times and her goofy big red glasses blocked your vision a bit, but it turns out your task wasn’t so hard. And you have almost two weeks to get it done, so being careful and slow isn’t something to worry about.

>So while you carefully did the precise stuff, Rarity sped along with the measurements, cutting, large piece sewing and gem cutting and placement.

>Rarity has remarked more than once that she’s going to run out of Jet and Sapphire before this is done.

>Judging by the amount of blue spotted along the dresses, it’s safe to assume that this dead relative has blue eyes.

>Or mane, or coat. Whatever, he or she is dead now.

>Eh, kinda grim.

>Or maybe not. While death is of course a tragedy, you didn’t know the pony.

>It’s not as if you’re making jokes about the departed.

>And you’ll certainly give Applejack or Big Mac your sympathies the next time you see them.

>But it’s just something you won’t offend yourself with just by thinking neutrally about it.

>”Anonymous?”

“Yeah-huh?”

>”Where do you see yourself in five years?”

 

>You stop.

>You stop everything.

>That question caught you way off-guard.

“Um, what?”

>”I’m only a little curious about what you think your future here in Equestria holds for you. Is there anything you truly enjoy enough to make it a career?” She holds up a nearly completed piece and smiles at it. “Such as myself…”

>She stares at it for a moment longer before setting it aside and working on another piece.

>”Or are you like Rainbow Dash? You enjoy something so much you chase a nearly impossible dream because of it?”

“You don’t believe Rainbow Dash could become a Wonderbolt?”

>”If you asked me that a few years ago, I would have said no, but she has changed recently.”

“Recently? Like, how recent?”

>”Mmm, I’d say ever since the two of you become such close friends!”

“Are you implying something?”

>”Perhaps, but we’re getting a little off topic.”

“Ah, well…”

>You nervously rub the back of your neck.

“I’m not sure. Honestly, I’m a little jealous of ponies and how they get a mark on their butt telling them what they should do for the rest of their lives.”

>”So there’s nothing you truly enjoy? There’s nothing you can imagine yourself doing for the rest of your life?”

“Not really.”

>You look up from your sewing project to see a concerned look on Rarity’s face.

>”Nothing? Are you sure?”

>You think for a moment before coming up with a response.

 

“I guess I’ve always wanted to learn how to play an instrument.”

>Rarity nods confidently.

>”Hm. That settles it! Your special talent must be music!”

“Nice logic there.”

>”You don’t believe you could become a great pianist or a world famous lyre player?”

“Heh. ‘Piantist.’”

>You feel the thwap of the newspaper on your head and you have a minor spaz attack as a reaction.

>Fuck, where was she hiding that!?

>Rarity sighs.

>”I’m never going to have a mature conversation with you, am I?”

“That is very unlikely, Miss Rarity.”

>”Now you’re just mocking me…”

“Hehe…” You lift of the dress you believe to be finished and show it off to Rarity. “So is this good?”

>She trots around the workbench to closely inspect it.

>”Hmm… This was supposed to be in a straight line, not hexagonal.”

>She points to the flank of the dress. Aww, you worked so hard on that one.

“I know, but I thought this would look better.”

>You brace for another thwapping of the newspaper, but it never comes.

>Rarity continues to stare intently at the dress for a few moments before slipping it on a hanger and setting that on a rack.

>“It does look better.”

>As she walks back to whatever she was working on, you hear her whisper, “Hmph. No talent, my flank.”

 

>After a few hours of very repetitive finger work, you get ready to call for a lunch break.

>And just as you’re about to say something, Rarity pipes up.

>”Oh my, I’m feeling awfully famished.” She turns to you. “Are you hungry, Anonymous?”

“A bit, yeah.”

>”Follow me, then. I have a surprise for you in the kitchen.”

>She stops the sewing machine since for the first time today and trots out of the workshop at a fast pace.

>You almost fall out of your chair just trying to keep up with her.

>Once you catch up, you have to ask,

“What’s the rush?”

>”Hmmm…” She rolls her eyes around to avoid your gaze. “No reason.”

“Really.”

>”Yes, really.”

“Right, you’re very convincing.”

>”Oh, hush. Some p0nies don’t appreciate a good surprise.”

“Now I know not to be surprised.”

>She bumps into you.

>”Maybe I should put you back to work? You look as if you eat well enough. You won’t starve over one meal.”

“Haha…” Your stomach picks a good time to rumble “You were joking, right?”

>”Of course, dear.”

>She leads you into the kitchen and forces you to sit down.

>After digging through the refrigerator, Rarity magically pulls out a container full of…

“Cookies?”

>About a dozen brown cookies with a white frosting on top, to be exact.

>She sets them down in front of you

>”Molasses cookies! Feel free to take as many as you’d like, they’re scrumptious.” She titters lightly. “And once I return, we can get back to that order!”

“Gef, bach?” You say with a cookie already in your mouth.

>”Mmhm! I have a few errands to run and they must be taken care of immediately.”

>Rarity begins to trot towards the exit.

>”I’ll only be gone an hour, I’m sure you can handle everything just fine.”

>Well that’s an unfair assump-ohmygod these cookies are so good.

 

>You are Rarity.

>With your lovely scarf and fashionable jacket, you head out into the heart of Ponyville for some shopping.

>You hit the food stalls first. It’s amazing how these ponies are able to do business out in the open with so much snow on the ground.

>Never doubt an Earth Pony’s work ethic!

>You buy all your necessities for the next two weeks or so, and then go window shopping at the local hat store.

>Most of the time the display pieces are all drab and out of date, but recently you’ve noticed some refreshing new headwear in the window.

>Perhaps somep0ny else is becoming a local fashionista? Ohoho, how exciting!

>You hope to meet this little creator someday soon.

>But for now, you must move on to more important things.

>You discussion with Anonymous earlier today has given you an idea.

>If he truly believes he has no talent, then he hasn’t done enough exploring!

>And he mentioned his affinity for music and instruments, so what better way to get him started down the right path than to get him something from the music store?!

>Yes! He will just love it!

>The music store is on the other side of Ponyville, so you tire yourself out by the time you’re halfway there.

>With the groceries, it makes the task twice as difficult.

>But you shall not falter!

>Afterall, you are Rarity! And-

>”Excuse me, miss…” You turn to the left to see a young cream colored stallion nervously looking at you.

>”I-If you’d like, I can carry those bags for you…”

 

>Well! The cream stallion was awfully insistent. As much as you said you were fully capable of doing the task alone, he continued to press the issue.

>Eventually you surrendered to his will, and allowed him to take over the heavy lifting until you arrived at the store.

>He was hardly able to handle it himself. Haha, they’re not THAT heavy. Regardless, you’re thankful for his help.

>When the two of you arrive at the music store you thank him for his help and magically lift the bags off his back on onto your own.

>You begin browsing around the store for whatever might suit Anonymous.

>It’s difficult to do that when… that stallion won’t stop looking at you.

>You pretend to ignore him for a few more minutes, but his eyes on your back are unnerving.

>Or maybe they’re not on your back. Maybe he’s looking at your… flank!

>Oh! The nerve!

>And is that a SWEAT DROP!? Unacceptable! Sweat will stain this scarf permanently!

>You turn to face him once more with an obviously fake smile.

“Yes, can I help you?”

>He remains silent for a moment before coming to his wits.

>”I’m Lemon-Drop!”

>You expect him to say something else, like perhaps ask what your name is, or why he’s still here.

>But he continues to silently stare with a simple smile on his snout.

“… Okay?”

>”Yeah! Um… Did I screw up?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

>”Like, did I forget something? I don’t understand what… Oh, haha! Wow, I forgot to ask what your name is!”

“Er… Rarity. My name is Rarity.”

>”Cool. Rarity. So when do you wanna start dating?”

“What?!”

>You jump back a little at his bold question.

 

>”Yeah, I did something nice for you and my dad said mares totally dive on your dick when you do nice things for them.”

“W-What?! Go! Leave!”

>You retch in disgust.

>”What? But I helped you!”

“I’m grateful but you need to leave me alone! Now!”

>”Pff, lame. My dad told me to call you a stingy bitch if you said no.”

>EVERY CELL, NO, EVERY ATOM IN YOUR BODY IS YELLING AT YOU. TELLING YOU TO SLAP THE BOY!

>But… He is hardly older than a colt!

>You can’t. You can’t hit him in good conscious. So you just stand there with the straightest face you can muster.

>Once he exits the establishment, you stomp around like an angry little filly while sputtering out horrible things to say about the boy.

>All the while, the store owner is looking at you while silently laughing.

>You finally notice and immediately compose yourself.

>Keeping those comments inside is better for you anyway.

>You take a few deep breaths before browsing once again.

>What do you think Anonymous would like? Drums? Awfully basic. Lyre? Ponyville already has a lyre player. Piano? No. Harp? Heavens, the price on that thing… What about… Yes, that’s it!

>A violin! Ah, such a marvelous instrument. You have yet to hear anything else that could create such beautiful music.

>You can easily imagine Anonymous with it, right now…

 

>The two of you are in a dark room with a bright white spotlight shining down upon you.

>You sit on one edge while Anonymous stands at the other.

>He wears tight black pants and a white shirt with a frilled collar.

>He brings the violin to his chin and without hesitation, begins playing.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BGIlN8oa54

>The tune starts off mellow, but soothing.

>A beat he somehow makes quickly accompanies the enchanting sounds of his violin.

>Anonymous slowly begins to circle you as the pace of his music picks up.

>The sound of a second violin appears.

>It’s him doing that. He’s become so good he can play two violins at once.

>He’s made a full circle around you at this point.

>You’re urged to join him.

>A crimson dress you don’t recall wearing drags along behind you as you attempt to move with him.

>You quickly grasp his movements, and suddenly you’re a part of the experience.

>He plays for you, he plays with you.

>You dance for him, you dance with him.

>The beautiful creation of body and soul quickly become undistinguishable as the two of you work in perfect form.

>And too quickly begins to die down.

>The violin has disappeared.

>And the two of you rest in each other’s arms.

>You were always standing on your hind legs, of course.

>You look deeply into his eyes, and he does into yours.

>As the final notes play.

>And the spotlight dims.

>The two of you close your eyes and slowly lean in foooooOOOWAHA!

 

>You reopen your eyes.

>They were closed? You didn’t even notice.

>Ahem. That was an… interesting little daydream.

>You sure didn’t expect it to escalate to something like. Ahaha… Perhaps you should choose a different instrument.

>Maybe this clarinet or flute. What about this Xyloph-

>Anonymouswearingafrillysuit.

>Violin it is.

>You pull the box out from behind the display model.

>150 bits?! You can afford that, but… Good heavens!

>Were those tight black pants he was wearing really so enticing?

>No, of course not.

>But a violin would be good for him so the decision is already made.

>You levitate the violin onto the counter.

>The old lemon yellow colored stallion behind the counter stares at you for a few seconds before taking away at his register.

>Then he chuckles to himself.

>”You musta been enjoying yourself over there, miss.” He keeps his eyes down.

“I beg your pardon?”

>”Standin’ over there, rockin’ your hips and humming to yourself? You either had a tune in your head or you was thinkin’ of a stallion.”

“A little of both.” You say without thinking.

>…

>Oh! Oh no…

“I wasn’t thinking… He’s only a friend! Hardly one at that!”

>”So why are you buying him such an expensive gift?”

>How did he know?!

>You feel your face burning up.

>The shopkeeper begins laughing.

>”Ah, I’ve gone and embarrassed you. I’m sorry about that, young miss. I suppose you’re just being generous. After all, they don’t call you the Element of Generosity for no reason, right?”

>He winks at you before reaching his hooves under the counter.

>”I ‘spose I should exercise my generosity for once.” From under the counter, he pulls a few small books with fancy pictures of violins on the front. “Is your friend new to the instrument?”

 

>You exit the music store with a wide grin on your face. While the store owner made some VERY INCORRECT assumptions about how you feel about Anonymous, he was kind enough to throw in a few instructional books on the instrument.

>He also showed you a cheaper, better looking and sounding violin as well.

>Disgusted by one stallion, amazed by another!

>Aaaaand… You’ve been gone for far too long. The hour you promised has passed by now, you’d best make haste!

As you trot through the cold streets of Ponyville, ponies go about their business as usual. Some even rushing back to their respective work places, like yourself!

>The chatter of a few ponies catches your attention though.

>Two of the voices are what stand out the most.

>That disgusting black coated barbaric punk-maned Pegasus.

>And Rainbow Dash!

>They fly just overhead. The weather patrol at work! What a wonderful job to have! The ability to banish rain when it puts a damper on a pony’s spirit, or maybe summon one on a hot summer day!

>Rainbow Dash spots you as they pass over, and she swerves down at tremendous speeds.

>You’ve had little time to chat with her recently with all the… Well, you don’t have an excuse.

>Rainbow Dash doesn’t click with you in a one-on-one conversation.

>But it’s as good a time as any to catch up!

 

>Rainbow Dash lands next to you with a hard ‘THUMP’ and matches your pace.

>”Hey wassup, Rarity?”

“Not much, at the moment. How about you?”

>”Just doing my hourly patrols. Clouds are pretty clear today, but we’re getting a major blizzard in two days and I don’t want any stray clouds coming early.”

“Always the busy one, Rainbow Dash.”

>”Hehe-“

>She’s cut off by another thud to your left which is followed by a, “Hey baby…”

>Celestia, not him…

>Rainbow Dash cranes her neck to look at the Pegasus.

>”Thunderlane, not now!”

>”Tch, c’mon! That’s cheating!”

>”Go!”

>”Uuuugh! Fine.”

>He quickly takes off to rejoin his other Pegasus friends.

“I don’t know if I can stand another minute of him…”

>”Thunderlane? You don’t like him, huh?”

“Ugh, disgusting little pervert.”

>”Hehe, good. He is kinda disgusting.”

>Rainbow Dash then takes a quick peek of what you’re carrying.

>”Hey, is that a violin?”

“Why, yes it is!”

>”Cool, is that for Anon?”

>Is it possible for your face to go pale while blushing? How did she guess so easily?

“Y-Yes? How did you…”

>”He said something about wanting to learn how to play music once or twice, but he never actually tries.”

>She nudges you in the shoulder.

>”Guess he won’t have an excuse now. Plus, his party is coming up! I figured you’d get him something awesome, even if you don’t like him very much.”

“Come now, Anonymous is a little crude, but he’s quite a likeable character.”

>”Yeah, he’s sometimes a bit of a softie.”

“Yes, by the way…”

 

“Rainbow Dash, are you still…”

>You can’t look her directly in the eye. It’s quite an awkward topic.

“Ahem… You seem to be functioning normally around males now, unlike before...”

>”Oh, yeah! All better now! I’m totally cool.”

>Now she’s avoiding your gaze!

>Yes, it is an awkward topic indeed! You shall… Move on to other things.

>That doesn’t work as well as planned, though.

>You want to talk about fashion.

>She wants to talk about the Wonderbolts.

>Two very different topics, but the two of you manage to hold a conversation with each other for a few minutes before coming up to the boutique.

>As you get to the porch, Rainbow Dash whispers, “Hey, is Anon here today?”

>Not wanting to alert… whomever it is she’s trying to hide from, you whisper back.

“Mmhm! He’s working inside right now.”

>”Cool, I gotta head out. Catch you later Rarity.”

>And she quietly flitters away, which is unusual of her.

>But with her gone, you gain a little thinking room.

>You completely forgot about Anonymous’ party for a moment. You planned to give the violin to him on the spot.

>But wouldn’t make a much better gift? You think so. You’ll be forced to wait a bit longer before hearing the enchanting sounds of his violin, but the look on his face when he unwraps the present…

>Yes! It’s decided!

>This will make the perfect present for his second anniversary in Equestria!

 

>You reenter your boutique with an unshakeable childish grin.

>Holding excitement... The bane of your existence!

>But you manage to keep it together long enough to sneak upstairs and slide it under your bed.

>You take another minute to compose yourself before heading back downstrairs. You expect to hear Anonymous doing SOMETHING, but everything is silent in the household.

>That gives you a slightly bad feeling.

>And a small angry one.

>You have a feeling…

>You walk to your workshop and throw open the door.

>Anonymous, at his station, stirs from his slumber before falling back into it.

>How long has he been sleeping?! What if a customer came in and nop0ny was here to help!

“Anonymous!”

>”BBWUAH!”

>His arms flail wildly as he wakes.

>Fabric flies in multiple directions.

>”Rarity! I-… Shoot, where did my needle go?”

>You sigh as Anonymous searches under the desk.

>There’s no point in getting mad. You have too many dresses to make to chew him out for sleeping on the job.

>You give Anonymous a new needle and tell him to get back to work.

 

>”Hey, RD. Can I talk to you for a sec?”

>You are Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, what about?”

>Thunderlane looks to the other ponies flying alongside the two of you.

>”Alone?”

>You roll your eyes.

“Fine.” You cup your hooves over your mouth. “You guys go on ahead. Thunderlane and I will catch up soon.”

>You flare out your wings to quickly stop yourself. Thunderlane does the same.

>With the other ponies gone, Thunderlane quickly becomes aggressive.

>”What the buck, Rainbow Dash?!”

“What?”

>”Are you trying to sabotage me now? That’s not fair!”

“Wait, the Rarity thing a few minutes ago?”

>”Yeah! I was just about to seal the deal and you just swoop in a shoo me away! I bet you told her lies about me!”

>You can’t hold in a snort of laughter.

“You’re kidding, right? There’s nooooo way you can win this. She HATES    you, dude.”

>”Pff, you just don’t understand my charm!”

“CHARM?! Aaaaaahahaha!”

>You start doing flips from how hard you’re laughing.

>”Hey!”

>You can’t hear him. This is too rich.

>While you laugh up a riot, he says under his breath,

>”Hmph! Let’s see how you like a little sabotage…”