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Broity

By: gadget on Jul 6th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 41.23 KB | hits: 558 | expires: Never

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>Rarity sighs as she rests her chin on the bar, circling her hoof around the rim of her glass.
>"Oh, I don't know, Anonymous. I work seven days a week and I pretend it's all fun and games in front of my friends."
"I hear ya, life at the mill is murder. Endless hours, more dust than oxygen in there, and everyone is exactly what you'd expect to be a laborer to be. I should probably be in bed by now but, eh," You loosen the tie around your neck and finish the rest of your glass. "Fuck it."
>"Mm, yes. You fit right in with all those other dirty, gruff stallions then, don't you?"
"Hey."
>You raise your head and give Rarity a menacing look, which she returns with a mischievous smirk.
>At that moment, the bartender hovers around you, glancing at your empty glass.
"Bartender?"
>"Mmm?"
"Another one, on her tab."
>"Righto,"
>As he takes your glass and walks away, you and Rarity chuckle for a few seconds before relaxing once again.
"Speaking of stallions, how did round two with the prince go?"
>Rarity sighs and takes a long sip from her drink.
"That bad?"
>"It went just as you--"
"Just as I told you it would go. I still don't know what you see in that little prick."
>"Good guess."
"Nice. So why do you keep falling head over heels over his type?"
>"Oooh... isn't it every girl's dream to fall in love with a rich, princely stallion who will treat you like her queen?"
"You want to know how many perfect stallions are in this world, Rarity?"
>"Hmph, not enough."
"Precisely, because there are zero. Fuck a rich jerk or fuck a nice kissless, hugless virgin. Or anything inbetween. Find someone you like, thank you," You say as the bartender sets down another drink for you. "Just find someone you like." You take a big gulp of your alcohol. "Of course, you know all of this already. It's easy to fall victim to our vices."
>Glancing back at Rarity, she's wearing an amused look with her cheek resting on a hoof.
"What?"
>"You're far too realistic about everything."
"So?"
>"Don't you have any dreams, Anon? A dream mare or... woman."
"Dreams? I got a million of them? Dream woman? Smart, funny, sexy, witty, clever, creative, rich. You know, absolutely perfect in every way. We went over--"
>"Nope."
"... Hm?"
>"I refuse to believe that's your ideal woman."
"Eh, it's getting a little weird. Topic change."
>"But--"
"TOPIC CHANGE!" The entire bar looks at you. Whatever, fuck 'em. "How's the sister."
>"... Her and her friends are still at the whole cute mark thing. I was the same at their age, but I was never so desperate."
"Huh."
>"Funny enough, she's quite the little singer. I do hope she finds her talent there, as opposed to something else less desirable. Is childhood for a human similar?"
"In a way. It takes ponies about ten years to know what they're going to do for the rest of their lives. For humans, it can take as long as it wants."
>"What do you mean?"
"Well, we're not as lucky as you. Your destiny is set out for you at such a young age. Most humans, myself included, may not ever find it. But, you know, more freedom I guess."
>"Excellent. Now, topic change!"
"What?"
>"TOPIC CHANGE!" The entire bar looks at Rarity this time.
>She covers up her mouth and giggles to herself.
>"O-oops, didn't mean to get so loud. So, who is 'the perfect girl'?"
"Again?"
>"Yes. You know me well enough."
"Damn right. Need to pry into everyone's love life, even if there isn't one to speak of. Goddamn..." You mumble an obscenity into your drink.
>"Absolutely. Now, spill it."
>You pause for a moment, then raise the glass up to her hair.
>"No, NO! Don't you dare!"
>After a couple slaps and a few drops of beer dripping onto your your clothes, you bring the glass back down while trying to hold back laughter.
>"Fine, if you're not going to tell me, I'll just have to guess."
"Shoot."
>"Well, you're too caught up in looks to not want a beautiful mare. Preferably a unicorn. She's smart, funny and hailed as a generous pony."
"I see where this is going."
>"She has an alabaster coat and a gorgeous mane. You constantly eye her with desire, albeit well hidden."
>Now you can feel your face getting hot. Fucking fantastic.
>"On top of all that, you'd love to pay for her drinks tonight."
"Rarity, your analyzation is spot on." You look at her with a stoic expression. "I'm madly in love with Princess Celestia."
>She stares.
>She blinks.
>Then without warning, she bursts out in the loudest fit of laughter you've ever heard from her.
>With a friendly push of alcohol, she falls to the floor with a loud thud.
"Oh shit, you alright?"
-
>Sometime later.
>"--And that suit of yours. How old is it?"
"Few months. You made it, remember?"
>"Eugh, it's hard to imaging that was IN only that long ago. I'll have to completely redo the thing, when I have the time."
"That's fine, you don't need to--"
>"And I'm quite upset at what you've done to those shoes. I didn't expect you to keep them in peak condition but I can't even see the sheen in them anymore."
"Because it's dark?"
>"Ah... oh, mmm... Indeed it is. Regardless, I ask you come in to touch it up soon."
"Might do that. You're already swamped as it is, though."
>"Aaah, but there's nothing more relaxing than exercising my passion for one of my dear friends. Please, I insist."
"'Dear friend'? You're not going soft on me, are you, drinking buddy?" You start lightly flicking her ear with a finger, which she quickly shirks away from.
>"PUH-lease do not call me that. And yes, despite our lack of similarities, you're still a closer friend than most in Ponyville."
"Number one guy-friend, huh?"
>You don't see it, but a light blush creeps across Rarity's face.
>"That's one way to put it, yes. Anyway, I'm afraid this is where we part." Looking down the intersection, you can see Rarity's boutique to the right. Your home is straight ahead.
>You feel her flick her tail across your back leg for the third time tonight before she lets out a tired sigh.
>"Goodnight, Anonymous. I hope we do this again soon."
"Night, Rarity."
>You wait until Rarity is near her property before continuing along the road. Because like, what if there's one of those kind of bad guys roaming around. You gotta be the big man.
>But once it's clear she's safe, you waste no time in returning home.
>You toss nearly all your clothes onto the floor before crawling into bed and trying to fall asleep. It's always tough, nights with Rarity. After these nights, your brain refuses to turn off as it replays the events of the night back at you.
>Yes, brain. Rarity is fun. And cool and smart. Really pretty for a horse, too.
>But it eventually gives in, allowing you blissful sleep.
>Meanwhile, at Rarity's house, she's having the same problem. She remembers the fun stories and the raunchy jokes you've told her over all this time, forcing her lips to twitch into a smile in her half-asleep state.
>Nights like this, they cannot remain outside of each other's dreams. Whether it be whimsically innocent or down right dirty, they both enjoy the time they spend together, even when they're apart.
"Yes, you're shallow when it comes to guys. How have you not noticed this?"
>"I am not! You have no proof that--"
"When he told you to buck off, you thought it was a joke upper class ponies make."
>"That's not what I thought at all! I just... pretended it was."
>You and Rarity walk down the empty, sunset lit streets of Ponyville, bickering again.
"Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile at least three other not rich and not incredibly handsome stallions were giving you googley eyes from across the street. You have an uncanny amount of admirers who's feelings you dismiss."
>"Hm, such as your own?"
"Stop that."
>You move to flick her ear, which she gracefully dodges.
>"Tch, I don't even know why I bother. Work is getting somehow busier by the day. I have no time for anything like a relationship. How is the mill working out for you?"
"Quit."
>"You quit?!"
"Yep! I got a new job that isn't so life threatening. Time Turner opened up his own clock shop and he says he needs someone like me in the workshop."
>"I heard a few rumors he was a colt cuddler but a human? I'm shocked."
"One, I'm flattered if that's the case. Two, he was more interested in the dexterity of my fingers."
>You wiggle you fingers a little before returning them to your sides.
>Just then, you see a Pink blue hanging up red and pink decorations all over the city. Walls, overhangs, street lamps and benches. All of it covered in cardboard paper, glitter and glue.
>The menacing pink blur fianlly comes to a stop in front of you. "Hey, guys!"
"Hey."
>"Hello, Pinkie. How have you been?"
>"I've been super duper TERRIFFIC! Hearts and Hopves Day is tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited!"
>Oh, this holiday snuck up on you.
"Hah, got a date you're looking forward to?"
>"Well... erm, no. But, but, everyone ELSE does! And seeing everyone else so happy makes it my sixth favorite holiday! What bout you two? Do you have you special somep0nies to spend time with tomorrow?"
"Nope."
>"Afraid not this year. Again."
>"Hmmmm..." Pinkie ponders for a moment before an idea pops in her head. "Of course you do!"
"What?"
>"What's that, now?"
>Pinkie pulls a red streamer out of no where and chucks it over your heads. It arcs and falls gracefully across your shoulders and Rarity's withers. Pinkie latches on to both ends and ties it into a knot before tightening it, bringing you down and Rarity up. You both meet halfway, squeezed together by Pinkie's magical steel streamer.
>A large piece of pink painted plywood is raised in front of you. A big heart shaped hole in the middle is cut out so you can quite easily see Pinkie with a camera ready to shoot.
>"Smile!"
"What?"
>A flash of light blinds the two of you, putting you in a daze while Pinkie somehow pulls the photo out of the camera. That technology isn't even invented yet...
>"Here ya go!" She shoves the picture into your chest, but Rarity it the first to retrieve it. She hovers it in front of the two of you.
>And it's probably the sappy picture you've ever been a part of.
>You and Rarity look at each other for a moment.
"..."
>"..."
"... Nope!"
>"Absolutely not."
"I'm busy all day. Also, I have to go now."
>"And I have far too much work to do. I must leave as well."
>As you and Rarity leave Pinkie, she shrugs in a 'I gave it a shot' fashion and continues setting up decoration. Until something catches her attention, or rather, a lack of something.
>"Wait a minute... Where did that picture go?!"
>The next day went exactly as you expected it to. A regular day of you doing whatever. A mare and a few stallions asked why you were single today, like it wasn't the rudest fucking thing in the world, but overall pretty normal.
>It isn't until your nightly stroll that something actually catches your interest. Passing some bar you've actually never tried, you spot a somewhat pathetic sight. The bar is packed with several mares and stallions, drinking away the woes of a single life. Eh, boo hoo. But something in there actually manages to anger you.
>Rarity's in there. Something's up. She never drinks in public alone. And she looks depressed, too. She can't really be a part of this group who wallows in loneliness. Her day couldn't have been as normal and boring as yours.
>There's little you have to do to get her attention, being a giant and whatnot. Once she sees you, you gesture for her to come out. Judging by the way she nearly leaps out of her seat, she's looking for any excuse to get out of there.
>After paying her bill, she meets you outside. She looks elated to be out of there.
"Hey, you okay?"
>"I am now. Can we please get far, far away from this place?"
"Sounds good. Have any ideas?"
>"How about my Boutique? Drinking at home is far better than drinking with ponies moping over being single on a day for couples."
"Isn't that what you were doing?"
>She glares at you, mostly because she can't prove you wrong.
--
>Later, in Rarity's boutique, you're sitting on the couch by yourself, sipping on some very expensive tasting champagne while Rarity uncorks a second bottle of the stuff. You insisted that there's no need for her to go through so much good stuff, but, you know, Rarity.
>You hear a loud pop in the other room quickly followed by a short squeal from Rarity. A minute later she comes out of the kitchen with more of the good stuff.
>"Done with another glass, are we?"
>You look down, and indeed you've finished off your, what, sixth glass tonight?
"I keep telling myself not to drink all of your expensive alcohol, but it's too damn good to pass up. I'll take a seventh, please."
>She elicits a short giggle before filling your glass to the rim, then doing the same with her own. She takes her seat next to you on the couch and tries to avoid looking directly at you while sipping on her drink.
>The two of you stay quiet for a while. You indulge all the senses with the smell of vanilla and Rarity's own perfume. The paintings and photos hung on Rarity's lavender walls. The subtle sounds of Rarity's quiet disapproval of the bitterness of her drink and her shifting in her seat.
>But of course, you have to be the one to break the silence.
"You know..." You look at your half full glass. "Too much of our history involves alcohol, you know?"
>"Mm, I do know. After all, all we seem to do is complain to each other about our grievances."
"True, but not always."
>Rarity thinks about it for a moment before smiling.
>"You're right, not always."
>Things fall quiet again before Rarity lets out a chuckle.
>"I still can't believe Pinkie thought we should be each other's special somep0ny's."
"I know, right?"
>"I can't even imagine you'd want to be with a... shallow... vulnerable pony, such as myself."
>You allow yourself a quiet chuckle before actually thinking about it. It hasn't really crossed you mind, but...
"You're right. I've never really wanted to be your special somep0ny."
>You feel Rarity sink into her couch a little, next to you.
"But, thinking about it now... I sure wouldn't mind giving it a shot."
>"What do y--"
>In a stroke of courage, you dare to place your lips upon hers. Not merely a peck, but an intimate, albeit brief kiss.
>Pulling away involves a lot of awkwardness. Your mind and body are now completely out of sync.
"That... came out of nowhere."
>"I... Anonymous,"
"Heh, let's just blame the alcohol on that one."
>"Y-yes... the alcohol." She looks at her own glass before downing the entire thing and refiling it.
>Things return to small talk rather quickly. You pull out all of your favorite jokes and funny stories to hopefully cloud the memory of your fuckup. It seems to do well enough as Rarity seems to be pretending it never happened.
>Quite some time later, you realize just how late it's gotten. Unfortunately, you do have work in the morning.
"Aah, shit. I hate to cut this short, but I really gotta go. I should have been asleep an hour ago."
>"Two hours ago, for me."
"Yeah, but you're your own boss."
>"Very true, I suppose this is goodnight then?"
"It'd say it's been pretty good. Till next time?"
>You rise to your feet, adjust your suit and tie, but a magical grip latches onto your sleeve.
"Something wr--Oh, yeah. I never came in an got that touched up, did I? I can come in Sunday if you're--"
>"Anonymous, I really... really wouldn't mind being your special somep0ny, either."
>Your eyes widen in surprise. You've both been drinking so this could be just a big drunken misunderst--
>Nope. Fuck thinking. She's pulled you in for a kiss. Her velvet lips and hot breath against your face have almost nullified your senses. But when she tries to invade your mouth with her tongue, you bounce back and push yourself away.
"Hold on. I'm... not sure if I'm comfortable with this."
>That horrified look on Rarity's face almost breaks your heart.
"I-I'm not saying it's you. I'm... just worried we're too drunk to think this through."
>Rarity chuckles before pulling you in again. You're resistances are failing you as you fall victim to Rarity's passion. You join in the drunken slapping of tongues after little time until she pulls away from a breath.
>"Even... even if we regret this in the morning, or nothing comes of it aside from a hangover, at least we'll have something else to talk about other than our jobs.
>That night, you and Rarity got no further than the couch. Your drunken passions burned bright into the early morning before returning to a smoldering ember as you two of you slept quietly in each other's embrace.
Non-story-canon continuation. Ignore this if you'd like.
>The following morning after Hearts and Hooves, you somehow manage to stumble out of bed and waddle your lazy butt halfway across the room before the hangover hits you. To your surprise, it isn’t nearly as bad as you think it should be. Regardless, it sucks.
>The light clinking of plates and silverware distracts you from the woes of a headache and mild tummy rumblies. That’s probably Rarity, and knowing the classy lady she is she might be a little ticked you jumped her last night. Or was it her who jumped you? Man, you think it was 50-50. Still, Rarity can’t be happy about the whole thing.
>You step into the kitchen and lean against the door frame, watching Rarity go about her business in the kitchen. Despite your heavy footsteps and stumbling around, Rarity hasn’t noticed you. You weren’t in any rush to alert her. Afterall, the view is nice.
>Rarity’s butt, if you were being a little too vague. She has a great one. It’s like, really shapely. As in it’s shaped to compliment Rarity’s body, which it does well.
>Rarity sighs.
>”Are you going to keep staring or are you going to wish me a good morning.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and good morning to you too.”
>She flashes a grin at you before returning to the dishes.
>”Terribly sorry about the mess. I suppose I didn’t really care much about cleanliness last night while in that state, but now that I’m sober... yech.”
“Heh. So... we gotta talk about last night.”
>Rarity sets a plate down a little too hard before turning to you.
>”Yes. Yes we do.”
“You wanna go first or--”
>”If you have something to say, I’d prefer you say it first.”
“Oooh, putting me on the spot. Alright, well... last night was pretty cool. And not just the... Ahem,”
>”Sex? Please, Anonymous. Sweetie Belle isn’t here.”
“Right, not just the rabid fucking we did until we both came enough to fill a tub.”
>Rarity purses her lips.
“You know, the whole hanging out thing like we normally do was pretty cool. Having someone to spend yesterday with was something I needed without even knowing it.”
>”... But?”
“But... I don’t know. I don’t think... we should really change our thing. I’m not looking for any kind of relationship and I’m not your type so... you know. Yeah.”
>”That’s... that’s what you needed to tell me?”
“Yeah.”
>”That’s... phew, that’s actually perfect. Because, because I was thinking the exact same thing.”
“Oh?”
>”Yes! Don’t misread me here, last night was wonderful and heavens knows I needed a good rutting.”
“Spread that around, will ya?”
>”Oh my, you’ll become a little too popular with the mares if I were to do that. I’ll keep it to myself.” You elicit a low grumble. “Back to my point, I simply don’t see us being anything more than close friends. I’m quite relieved you feel the same way. It makes everything much easier to break.”
“Yeah, that went smoother than I expected too.”
>”Yes, well... good.”
>Rarity clears her throat before an awkward silence falls between you.
>”Would you... like some breakfast?”
“I’d love some.”
>A few days later.
>You and Rarity are square. The awkwardness is gone and you have returned to your coexistence.
>Today, you’ve finally visited her to get your suits redone. You were stripped almost nude and forced to watch her sit and play with your clothes. You caught her glancing back every few minutes. It only makes sense. She’s forcing you to watch her do something boring and she needs to be sure you’re not bored out of your mind.
>But as she moved onto your pants, panic sets in as you remember forgetting something in them.
>”Hello? What’s this now?”
>Shit!
>Out of the back pocket, she pulls out a single polaroid photo, the one Pinkie took just a few days ago.
>”Oh my...”
“Er, yeah. Pinkie--”
>”This is a cute photo, don’t you think?”
>That wasn’t exactly the reaction you were expecting, but you actually didn’t know what to expect in the first place.
“Yeah, I guess.”
>Rarity titters to herself.
>”Look at us, we were so baffled when Pinkie Pinkie roped us together.” She chuckles to herself a little more. “... May I keep this? I know it’s rude of me to ask but--”
“Yeah go for it. I just brought it to show you anyway.”
>A white lie never hurts. And besides, you don’t really have much attachment to that photo anyway. Why you carried it around is still a bit of a mystery to you but you don’t feel like dwelling on it.
>Rarity sets the photo down on her workbench before turning back to the sewing machine. Within minutes she pulls something entirely new away and holds it up in front of you using her magic.
>”Ta-da~! How do you like it?”
“It’s... did you just make that on the spot?”
>”Of course not, I only needed your dimensions to make sure it fit the same. I’ve been working on this for weeks.”
“Wow... so that’s why you needed my clothes?”
>She peeks from behind the ensemble wearing a sly grin and half-lidded eyes.
“Right. Funny.”
>You get up from your chair and take the suit in your own hands. From a distance it would look the same but the differences are subtle and substantial at the same time.
>”I changed the material of the suit, giving it slightly more appeal to draw attention. the sheen on it is now a little greater than a matte and the stitching is now a little more active. The plastic buttons have been replaced with stainless steel, so have the cufflinks and pants button. There’s plenty more, but none I think you’d care to know.”
“This is great! I mean... wow. It’s a lot softer than my last suit.” You say under your breath as you stroke the collar.
>”Well go ahead now, try it on.”
>It’s on you in seconds. Not often are you so excited to try on new clothes but you try to milk the excitement for Rarity’s sake.
>The top pieces fit perfectly. You don’t think you’ll even have to break them in.
>The pants, however...
“Rarity, I don’t mean to offend but I think the pants are too small.”
>”Too small? No, no. Your leg and waist size hasn’t changed enough for that to be tight.”
“Well... it isn’t really my legs or waist.”
>A blush creeps along your face. Three days ago you were comfortable talking about anything involving your crotch with Rarity but after that, you silently agreed to yourself it’s a taboo subject.
>”Aha, I know exactly what you’re talking about.”
>She trots to your backside and inspects the pants for a moment.
>Before straight up putting a hoof on your ass.
“Ah! Hello back there!?”
>”Oh hush. I did make it tighter to reduce some very inappropriate sagging. It’s not uncomfortable, is it?”
“I... guess? I’m just not used to this. I’ve never been a tight pants guy.”
>”Well you’re going to become one. It looks spectacular on you. Just look at this.”
>She spins around to your front side and points directly at your crotch.
>”Previously, you had a large sag poking forward. Wasted cloth and it looks tacky. Now look at it. A simple, elegant flat surface. Small bulge notwithstanding. Erm... no offense.”
“Some taken.”
>”Buck up, then. I think you look dashing.”
“Well, if you think it looks good, then it looks good. Give me a day or two to get used to this and I’ll get over it.”
>”Excellent. Now did you want to go out for lunch? My afternoon is free and I could use company.”
“Rarity? Some time off? Absurd.”
>”Aha, it’s less about having time off and more about learning how to separate the rush jobs and the others.”
“It’s about time. Anyway, yeah I’d love to. My turn to pay?”
>”Indeed. Ooh, and... hm... your hair.”
“My hair?”
>”It could use some work.” Rarity levitates a brush and comb from somewhere out of your vision and approaches you.
“Rarity, it’s fine.”
>Flashbacks.
>Mom. Early in the morning with that comb.
>Millions died.
>No one else messes with your hair. Only you.
“Seriously, just give them to me and--”
>”Nonsense. It’ll only take a moment.”
“Rarity!” The brush approaches your head and you panic. “No!”
>You slap the brush away and it flies towards Rarity. She ducks just in time, but not without the brush taking a casualty of its own.
>A handful of Rarity’s hair was grasped by the bush as it flew by displacing it all into frizzy mess.
>You begin to laugh but it abruptly stops once you see the expression on Rarity’s face.
“Oh shit.”
>It’s a mixture of anguish, rage, and vengeance. And it’s all directed at you.
>She lifts the brush off the floor before beginning to slowly approach you with every hair styling utensil she can get her magic on.
>An hour later.
>You and Rarity doing some post coitus cuddling in her bed.
>Things are quiet for a while before you have to blurt something out.
“I really didn’t see that coming.”
>”You didn’t? The sexual tension between us was so thick it was nearly tangible... and I didn’t see it coming either.”
>The two of you silently hum in agreed confusion before falling quiet again. Rarity is the one to break it this time. Or rather, Rarity’s stomach grumbling.
“Me too.”
>”What?”
“I’m hungry too. We never got that lunch.”
>”Indeed we did not. Let me gussy up and you can finally do your own hair. Heavens knows if I try, we’ll be stuck here all day.”
>You are Anonymous. It has been a few months since you and Rarity have progressed into the 'with benefits' part of your friendship and things have been going smooth. Unfortunately, Sweetie Belle and the rest of the fillies have gotten out of school for the summer and she likes spending far too much time with Rarity, leaving you two little time for anything lewd.
>So, this is day fourteen of your dry spell. So many people and ponies have gone through years of it but such an abrupt stop after frequenting Rarity's bedroom is a little jarring on the senses. Mainly, you just want to get off without touching yourself.
>But you're and adult! You can contain such urges and shove them into the back of your mind with great effort.
>And with all those thoughts tucked away, you dress in some shorts and a white t-shirt before going outside into the heat.
>It's a few minutes past noon, the ponies are enjoying the warm weather and the river running through the town looks more appealing than ever. But it's hot. So the first order of business should be obvious.
>Ice cream.
>A couple bits and a short walk to Sugarcube Corner later, you have a two foot tall vanilla ice cream tower, all covered in a hardened fudge shell.
>Hardly out of the ordinary if you've ever been to a traditional ice cream parlor.
>After that, you wander around Ponyville as you whittle away at your ice cream tower. You catch a few giggle from passing ponies which you can't help but naturally return.
>You finish the comically large ice cream treat after a long while and decide to crash by the river, under a tree.
>The cool grass and the shade of the tree make for an extremely comfortable environment, making it easy to doze off.
>Only a few minutes in, does someone begin calling your name.
"Yeah, yeah," You mumble while rolling into your stomach. "I'm awake. What's up?"
>"Heh, what are you doin' sleeping on an awesome day like this?"
>Oh! You remember that raspy, tomboyish voice.
"Rainbow Dash?" You say through a yawn. "Hey, what's up?"
>You only know Rainbow Dash through association and from what you've heard about the elements.
>"Not much, just saw you hangin' out and wondered what you were up to."
"Not a whole lot, as you can see. What about you?"
>"Me? Oh, uh... y'know, just flying around."
"I hear that."
>A momentary awkward silence falls between the two of you.
>"... Hey! You want to go swimming in the river?!"
"Hmmm... I am pretty relaxed... But," You glance back at the river. "That cool water is awfully seductive. Eh, screw it."
>You push yourself to a sitting position and remove your shirt. You look down at your features and sigh.
>You've gained a few pounds since you quit the mill. If it weren't for Rarity, you'd probably be a bit bigger by now.
>Rainbow Dash flutters up next to you.
>"Uh oh, I know that look."
"Do you?"
>"Yep! This will be your first day of getting back to your old self!"
"Wha--Hey!"
>Rainbow Dash begins your back.
>"Get in that river, mister! Your waistline depends on it!"
>Rainbow Dash is strong but you're twice her size and sitting down. You're not budging.
"Alright, alright. Just quit your pushin'."
>You stand up, making Rainbow Dash fall flat on her face before you wade into the river. The water is cool, but not too cold and only sends a shiver down your spine as it edges past your nethers and shoulders.
>You sit and enjoy the feeling for only a moment before Dash cannonballs right next to you, splashing you with a cold wave of water.
"Tch, ass."
>You splash a load of water on her as her head emerges.
>She looks at you.
>Then a huge grin spreads across her face as she glares at you.
"... No."
>After a legendary splash battle with Dash, she constantly challenged you to races, breath holding contests and an assortment of other competitive trials which you barely kept up with. You're more out of shape than you thought.
>Hours pass quickly and before you know it, the sun beginning to descend. You'd estimate another hour or so until sunset.
"Alright Dash, I'm gonna call it. I look like a prune right now."
>"Yeah, I'm kinda burnt out on swimming too. Whaddya wanna do next?"
"Uh... Next?"
>"Yeah! Hey, you down for a few drinks?"
>Man, these ponies and alcohol.
"Uh... sure. I can't stay too late though. I have work tomorrow."
>"That's cool. C'mon, I know a good place."
>Two hours later, you and Dash are seated in a Sports Bar. The place has okay beer and great food. Dash is already halfway blasted and you're still on your first mug of dark beer.
>"Okay, this time... Lets race!"
"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't chug alcohol."
>"But iiiiit's fun!"
"People who chug alcohol are just looking for reasons to avoid talking."
>"Tch, did Rarary tell you that?"
"Yes, actually. Now c'mon, stop drinking for a sec and tell me about yourself."
...
>Another hour later, and you Rainbow Dash are walking out of the bar as Dash is finishing her joke.
>"... And then, and then she said, "That's no frying pan, that's my cutie mark!"
>The two of you bust out laughing.
"Oh man... Best joke I've heard in years!"
>"Hehe, right?!"
>The laughter settles between the two of you after a bit, then you realize it's getting late.
"I hate to do this but I gotta get going."
>"It's cool dude. I should be heading back home too. Some other time?"
"Yeah, totally."
>"Sweet. And thank Rarity for me, would ya?"
"Sure... What for?"
>"She just told me that you would make a great friend for me, or something. I don't really know what she meant at first but I can see you're a pretty cool guy. Anyway, later!"
>Without another word, Rainbow Dash flies off into the night, leaving you with one worrying question.
>Is... Rarity trying to pimp you off to her friends?
>Two days later.
>Dash approached you during your lunch break just to chat. You're sitting outside the library, reading a magazine while munching on a cheese and lettuce sandwich.
>"So, hey! A bunch of us are playing hoofball today. Wanna play?"
"Sure. What time?"
>"Around four."
"Alright. I won't be able to make it until five so go ahead an get started without me."
>"Awesome. And don't you dare skip out! We gotta bust your rump into shape!"
"Heh, for what?"
>"Oh... You know, just in general. To be healthy and happy and stuff."
"Makes sense."
>Bullshit. Rarity led her to you so you could totally get down with the Dash. But Rainbow Dash won't let a drop of cum inside her unless its from a ripped stallion.
>Stupid Rainbow Dash. Stupid Rarity.
>Oh, speak of the devil. Rarity trots on by with her nose to the clouds, followed by a muscular unicorn stallion with a chin larger than Trixie's ego.
>"Hey, Rare. Ooh, who's the stud?"
>"Ah! Hello, Rainbow Dash." She says, completely ignoring you. "This is just my new... Friend. Pierre."
>"Nice. Pleasure to meet ya, Pierre."
>"Mmm, the pleasure is all mine, Miss Dash."
>His voice is smooth as silk and sensual beyond words.
>Fucking faggot.
>Pierre and Rainbow Dash stare into each other's eyes for a few moments before Rarity clears her throat to get Pierre's attention.
>He snaps his head and Rarity's direction before trotting to her side.
>"Anyway, if you need us, we'll be at my boutique. Alone. All night. Mhmm. Yes, good bye, Rainbow Dash."
>"Yes, goodbye my Sweet Little Dashie and... Surprisingly handsome human."
>"S-see ya..."
>See ya, fucker.
>You wait until the two of them walk away before lightly pounding the table.
"What the fuck was Rarity's problem?"
>"Yeah she kinda ignored you. What's up with that. And you know what else?"
"What?"
>"How did Rarity score a guy like that?! Did you see him?"
"I missed him behind his chin."
>"Ugh, he was like, perfect."
>"And it kinda ticks me off that Rarity can get any stallion she wants. Why is that? It's so dumb."
>Dash's words aren't helping the dilemma in your head. What WAS up with Rarity? She was being a total cunt, man.
>God damnit, you don't have time to think about this.
"I'd love to stay and chat, Dash but I need to get back to work."
>"Alright. Later, dude."
"Peace."
>Later that day.
>It's getting late and the hoofball game is coming to a close. You worked up quite a sweat as a grin reminder you haven't ran in a while. Damnit, Dash.
>You honestly wanted to skip out on it just to confront Rarity about today but you're still kind of fucking mad about her attitude earlier. But now that your mind has cleared up a bit, the curiosity is stronger.
>Once everyone has dispersed, Rainbow Dash approaches you.
>"Phew, you did pretty good out there. I didn't think a pony could stop you but when you knocked that griffon on its butt! Phew, awesome."
"Yeah... Thanks."
>"Hey, something wrong?"
"Eeeh, the Rarity situation is still kinda pissing me off. I was thinking about going over there and seeing what's up."
>"Sweet, I'm down."
"Hm?"
>"Yeah! It sounds like my friends are having troubles and I wanna help."
"That's... Yeah. Lets go visit Rarity and her 'friend'."
>You're now sneaking in the bushes outside Rarity's house. You expected Dash to question it but she dived in rift after you.
>You remain completely still and hold your ear close to the widow where you can hear voice inside. You can faintly make out the clinking of glasses while they laugh and talk. That bitch! Drinking with a different guy. That's your thing!
>"Ah, Miss Charity," You can make out most words.
>"Rarity, dear."
>"Y-yes. Miss Rarity. You look positively immaculate tonight."
"Asshole." You whisper.
>"Yeah. Rarity is such a tramp. Sheesh."
>Where'd that come from?"
>"Mmm, and your alabaster coat... Eeeugh. Sorry, dear. It's a little cold down here. Perhaps we could take this wine elsewhere. Perhaps... the bedroom."
>Fifty fucking red flags go up in your head. Hell no.
"You hear that, Dash?"
>"Yeah! Rarity just met this guy and is trying to get him in bed!"
"Sure. I've got an idea. Do you know where Sweetie Belle is?"
>"Scoots told me she and the gang were having a sleepover at Appleblooms."
"Perfect. Get her, put her in the tree by the river where we swam a couple days ago then tell her to follow your lead. Then you need to follow my lead."
>"Uhhh..."
"We have to hurry!"
>"Right! On it!"
>Dash beckoned nothing more than a rainbow streak heading towards Sweet Apple Acres. You'll give her a few minutes before you set your plan in action. For now, you start listening inside again.
>"Tsk, Pierre! Stop being silly."
>"O-oh... Of course. Here... have more wine."
>Rarity giggles some more, pushing you closer to the edge.
>Pierre spends a couple more minutes tossing out cheesy compliments in an attempt to sleep with your friends before you decide to set your plan into action.
>You spring out of the bushes and begin rapidly knocking on the door.
"Rarity! Rarity!"
>It takes a minute but a disgruntled Rarity opens the door.
>"Oh, Anonymous. I didn't think you'd ever be knocking on my door since--"
"Trouble!"
>"W--"
"Sweetie Belle is in trouble!"
>Her eyes go wide with worry and her ear perk up.
>"Where?! Where is she?"
"The river! This way!"
>You sprint off towards the river with Rarity in pursuit. Pierre, the little bitch, decides to follow while whining the entire way.
>A few minutes later.
>"I still don't know why I'm in this tree."
>Rainbow Dash shrugs.
>"Neither do I. Just follow Anon's lead when you see him, alright."
>"Fiiine. I hope he shows up soon. This is boring."
>And then here you come, yelling and running like an idiot with Rarity in tow.
>Both Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle notice you and exchange glances before faking distress.
>Rarity sees through the facade instantly and slows her pace and adopts a confused look. Pierre soon comes stumbling in from behind before collapsing on the grass.
"Look! Sweetie Belle is stuck in a tree!"
>Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle all give you sideways looks.
"... And I was hoping we could use your magic to--"
>"Eeeh... Stop, please. Rainbow Dash, could you be a dear and get my sister out of the tree?"
>"Uh... sure?"
>Rainbow Dash gently lowers Sweetie Belle from the tree before rushing over to Pierre.
>"Whoa buddy, that wasn't much of a run. Don't tell me you didn't have to work for those looks."
>While Rainbow Dash nurses romeo over there, you keep close to Rarity for reasons you're not sure of.
>"Anonymous, could you be a dear and help me walk Sweetie Belle back to Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Uh... sure?"
>Sweetie Belle gives both you and Rarity a hug before skipping back to her confused friends to tell them about her weird night.
>So then it's just you and Rarity. The both of you remain quiet until you get halfway through town. Being you, you're the first to blurt something out.
"So, what the fuck is going on with us today? I pulled the wackiest, dumbest stunt a man like me could pull and you act like a total cunt for no god damn reason."
>Rarity just stares at you past her thick, curled hair.
"What?"
>"Every time I think you cannot be more vulgar, you go ahead and surprise me again and again."
"Yeah, well, I'm kinda pissed off at multiple things right now so... yeah!"
>"Well why don't you tell me why you did this silly stunt, hm?"
"Why don't you tell me why you were being such a bitch?"
>"I asked you first. And take a breath, dear."
"Fine... shit, fine. I guess I saw you all over your new fuckbud--... your new friend and you were being... screw it, you were being a huge bitch today and I got pretty upset. And when I went to your house earlier I heard you drinking with him and... I dunno. That's kind of... our thing."
>Rarity sighs and shakes her head.
>"So you were jealous of him?"
"Don't you word it like that."
>"But you were. It's good to know my 'bitch' skills are still intact."
"I bet you're soooo proud."
>"That was sarcasm, Anonymous. Regardless, I'm a little frustrated that you would call 'drinking' our thing when you're so keen on doing it with Rainbow Dash."
>You think for a few seconds and realize something. You're being a pretty huge hypocrite right now.
>"Oh yes, I saw you and Rainbow Dash yucking it up in that run down bar. I told myself, 'they're just in there having a little fun' but you know what, Anon?! I was jealous! I was so incredibly jealous and I hate myself for it! I WANT to be angry but I CAN'T be angry at you because I would HAVE to be angry with myself, as well! Ugh!"
>'It was just a few drinks', would be the response to come out of your mouth but who's to say it wasn't the same in Rarity's case.
>God damnit.
"... We're shitty friends, Rarity."
>"I suppose we are. Will you let it tear us apart?"
"Nah. You?"
>"Of course not. We just can't let silly things like this get in the way of our friendship."
"Yeah, guess drinking can't really be our thing. It's a little unfair to our other friends."
>"Mhmm."
"Besides, don't we have a new thing?"
>You and Rarity exchange glances and dancing eyebrows before meeting halfway into a sloppy kiss. Rarity is quick to break it off.
>"Er... shouldn't we take this to the boutique?"
"Oh, come on."
>You go in for another kiss and push her onto her back in the middle of the dirt road. She's somehow going along with it.
"What if I want to fuck things up a little more? Make you wake up in a dried puddle of your own juices off to the side of the road?"
>"Please, this is my only night away from Sweetie Belle. I REALLY need you to 'fuck' things up, if you catch my drift."
"Don't make puns while I work."
>Rarity chuckles to herself.
>"Fine, take me in public if you wish. Just find a grassy hill for me, would you?"
>You quietly sigh and get off Rarity.
"As you wish, my queen!"
>you scoop the giggling Rarity up and whisked her off to the closest hill you knew of.
>Then you FUCKED under the stars.

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Rarity sighs as she rests her chin on the bar, circling her hoof around the rim of her glass.
>"Oh, I don't know, Anonymous. I work seven days a week and I pretend it's all fun and games in front of my friends."
"I hear ya, life at the mill is murder. Endless hours, more dust than oxygen in there, and everyone is exactly what you'd expect to be a laborer to be. I should probably be in bed by now but, eh," You loosen the tie around your neck and finish the rest of your glass. "Fuck it."
>"Mm, yes. You fit right in with all those other dirty, gruff stallions then, don't you?"
"Hey."
>You raise your head and give Rarity a menacing look, which she returns with a mischievous smirk.
>At that moment, the bartender hovers around you, glancing at your empty glass.
"Bartender?"
>"Mmm?"
"Another one, on her tab."
>"Righto,"
>As he takes your glass and walks away, you and Rarity chuckle for a few seconds before relaxing once again.
"Speaking of stallions, how did round two with the prince go?"
>Rarity sighs and takes a long sip from her drink.
"That bad?"
>"It went just as you--"
"Just as I told you it would go. I still don't know what you see in that little prick."
>"Good guess."
"Nice. So why do you keep falling head over heels over his type?"
>"Oooh... isn't it every girl's dream to fall in love with a rich, princely stallion who will treat you like her queen?"
"You want to know how many perfect stallions are in this world, Rarity?"
>"Hmph, not enough."
"Precisely, because there are zero. Fuck a rich jerk or fuck a nice kissless, hugless virgin. Or anything inbetween. Find someone you like, thank you," You say as the bartender sets down another drink for you. "Just find someone you like." You take a big gulp of your alcohol. "Of course, you know all of this already. It's easy to fall victim to our vices."
>Glancing back at Rarity, she's wearing an amused look with her cheek resting on a hoof.
"What?"
>"You're far too realistic about everything."
"So?"

>"Don't you have any dreams, Anon? A dream mare or... woman."
"Dreams? I got a million of them? Dream woman? Smart, funny, sexy, witty, clever, creative, rich. You know, absolutely perfect in every way. We went over--"
>"Nope."
"... Hm?"
>"I refuse to believe that's your ideal woman."
"Eh, it's getting a little weird. Topic change."
>"But--" 
"TOPIC CHANGE!" The entire bar looks at you. Whatever, fuck 'em. "How's the sister."
>"... Her and her friends are still at the whole cute mark thing. I was the same at their age, but I was never so desperate."
"Huh."
>"Funny enough, she's quite the little singer. I do hope she finds her talent there, as opposed to something else less desirable. Is childhood for a human similar?"
"In a way. It takes ponies about ten years to know what they're going to do for the rest of their lives. For humans, it can take as long as it wants."
>"What do you mean?"
"Well, we're not as lucky as you. Your destiny is set out for you at such a young age. Most humans, myself included, may not ever find it. But, you know, more freedom I guess."
>"Excellent. Now, topic change!"
"What?"
>"TOPIC CHANGE!" The entire bar looks at Rarity this time.
>She covers up her mouth and giggles to herself.
>"O-oops, didn't mean to get so loud. So, who is 'the perfect girl'?"
"Again?"
>"Yes. You know me well enough."
"Damn right. Need to pry into everyone's love life, even if there isn't one to speak of. Goddamn..." You mumble an obscenity into your drink.
>"Absolutely. Now, spill it."
>You pause for a moment, then raise the glass up to her hair.
>"No, NO! Don't you dare!"
>After a couple slaps and a few drops of beer dripping onto your your clothes, you bring the glass back down while trying to hold back laughter.
>"Fine, if you're not going to tell me, I'll just have to guess."
"Shoot."
>"Well, you're too caught up in looks to not want a beautiful mare. Preferably a unicorn. She's smart, funny and hailed as a generous pony."
"I see where this is going."

>"She has an alabaster coat and a gorgeous mane. You constantly eye her with desire, albeit well hidden."
>Now you can feel your face getting hot. Fucking fantastic.
>"On top of all that, you'd love to pay for her drinks tonight."
"Rarity, your analyzation is spot on." You look at her with a stoic expression. "I'm madly in love with Princess Celestia."
>She stares.
>She blinks.
>Then without warning, she bursts out in the loudest fit of laughter you've ever heard from her.
>With a friendly push of alcohol, she falls to the floor with a loud thud.
"Oh shit, you alright?"
-
>Sometime later.
>"--And that suit of yours. How old is it?"
"Few months. You made it, remember?"
>"Eugh, it's hard to imaging that was IN only that long ago. I'll have to completely redo the thing, when I have the time."
"That's fine, you don't need to--"
>"And I'm quite upset at what you've done to those shoes. I didn't expect you to keep them in peak condition but I can't even see the sheen in them anymore."
"Because it's dark?"
>"Ah... oh, mmm... Indeed it is. Regardless, I ask you come in to touch it up soon."
"Might do that. You're already swamped as it is, though."
>"Aaah, but there's nothing more relaxing than exercising my passion for one of my dear friends. Please, I insist."
"'Dear friend'? You're not going soft on me, are you, drinking buddy?" You start lightly flicking her ear with a finger, which she quickly shirks away from.

>"PUH-lease do not call me that. And yes, despite our lack of similarities, you're still a closer friend than most in Ponyville."
"Number one guy-friend, huh?"
>You don't see it, but a light blush creeps across Rarity's face.
>"That's one way to put it, yes. Anyway, I'm afraid this is where we part." Looking down the intersection, you can see Rarity's boutique to the right. Your home is straight ahead.
>You feel her flick her tail across your back leg for the third time tonight before she lets out a tired sigh.
>"Goodnight, Anonymous. I hope we do this again soon."
"Night, Rarity."
>You wait until Rarity is near her property before continuing along the road. Because like, what if there's one of those kind of bad guys roaming around. You gotta be the big man.
>But once it's clear she's safe, you waste no time in returning home.
>You toss nearly all your clothes onto the floor before crawling into bed and trying to fall asleep. It's always tough, nights with Rarity. After these nights, your brain refuses to turn off as it replays the events of the night back at you.
>Yes, brain. Rarity is fun. And cool and smart. Really pretty for a horse, too.
>But it eventually gives in, allowing you blissful sleep.
>Meanwhile, at Rarity's house, she's having the same problem. She remembers the fun stories and the raunchy jokes you've told her over all this time, forcing her lips to twitch into a smile in her half-asleep state.
>Nights like this, they cannot remain outside of each other's dreams. Whether it be whimsically innocent or down right dirty, they both enjoy the time they spend together, even when they're apart.

"Yes, you're shallow when it comes to guys. How have you not noticed this?"
>"I am not! You have no proof that--"
"When he told you to buck off, you thought it was a joke upper class ponies make."
>"That's not what I thought at all! I just... pretended it was."
>You and Rarity walk down the empty, sunset lit streets of Ponyville, bickering again.
"Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile at least three other not rich and not incredibly handsome stallions were giving you googley eyes from across the street. You have an uncanny amount of admirers who's feelings you dismiss."
>"Hm, such as your own?"
"Stop that."
>You move to flick her ear, which she gracefully dodges.
>"Tch, I don't even know why I bother. Work is getting somehow busier by the day. I have no time for anything like a relationship. How is the mill working out for you?"
"Quit."
>"You quit?!"
"Yep! I got a new job that isn't so life threatening. Time Turner opened up his own clock shop and he says he needs someone like me in the workshop."
>"I heard a few rumors he was a colt cuddler but a human? I'm shocked."
"One, I'm flattered if that's the case. Two, he was more interested in the dexterity of my fingers."
>You wiggle you fingers a little before returning them to your sides. 
>Just then, you see a Pink blue hanging up red and pink decorations all over the city. Walls, overhangs, street lamps and benches. All of it covered in cardboard paper, glitter and glue. 
>The menacing pink blur fianlly comes to a stop in front of you. "Hey, guys!"
"Hey."
>"Hello, Pinkie. How have you been?"
>"I've been super duper TERRIFFIC! Hearts and Hopves Day is tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited!"
>Oh, this holiday snuck up on you. 
"Hah, got a date you're looking forward to?"
>"Well... erm, no. But, but, everyone ELSE does! And seeing everyone else so happy makes it my sixth favorite holiday! What bout you two? Do you have you special somep0nies to spend time with tomorrow?"
"Nope."
>"Afraid not this year. Again."

>"Hmmmm..." Pinkie ponders for a moment before an idea pops in her head. "Of course you do!"
"What?"
>"What's that, now?"
>Pinkie pulls a red streamer out of no where and chucks it over your heads. It arcs and falls gracefully across your shoulders and Rarity's withers. Pinkie latches on to both ends and ties it into a knot before tightening it, bringing you down and Rarity up. You both meet halfway, squeezed together by Pinkie's magical steel streamer.
>A large piece of pink painted plywood is raised in front of you. A big heart shaped hole in the middle is cut out so you can quite easily see Pinkie with a camera ready to shoot.
>"Smile!"
"What?"
>A flash of light blinds the two of you, putting you in a daze while Pinkie somehow pulls the photo out of the camera. That technology isn't even invented yet...
>"Here ya go!" She shoves the picture into your chest, but Rarity it the first to retrieve it. She hovers it in front of the two of you. 
>And it's probably the sappy picture you've ever been a part of. 
>You and Rarity look at each other for a moment.
"..."
>"..."
"... Nope!"
>"Absolutely not."
"I'm busy all day. Also, I have to go now."
>"And I have far too much work to do. I must leave as well."
>As you and Rarity leave Pinkie, she shrugs in a 'I gave it a shot' fashion and continues setting up decoration. Until something catches her attention, or rather, a lack of something. 
>"Wait a minute... Where did that picture go?!"

>The next day went exactly as you expected it to. A regular day of you doing whatever. A mare and a few stallions asked why you were single today, like it wasn't the rudest fucking thing in the world, but overall pretty normal.
>It isn't until your nightly stroll that something actually catches your interest. Passing some bar you've actually never tried, you spot a somewhat pathetic sight. The bar is packed with several mares and stallions, drinking away the woes of a single life. Eh, boo hoo. But something in there actually manages to anger you.
>Rarity's in there. Something's up. She never drinks in public alone. And she looks depressed, too. She can't really be a part of this group who wallows in loneliness. Her day couldn't have been as normal and boring as yours.
>There's little you have to do to get her attention, being a giant and whatnot. Once she sees you, you gesture for her to come out. Judging by the way she nearly leaps out of her seat, she's looking for any excuse to get out of there.
>After paying her bill, she meets you outside. She looks elated to be out of there.
"Hey, you okay?"
>"I am now. Can we please get far, far away from this place?"
"Sounds good. Have any ideas?"
>"How about my Boutique? Drinking at home is far better than drinking with ponies moping over being single on a day for couples."
"Isn't that what you were doing?"
>She glares at you, mostly because she can't prove you wrong.
--
>Later, in Rarity's boutique, you're sitting on the couch by yourself, sipping on some very expensive tasting champagne while Rarity uncorks a second bottle of the stuff. You insisted that there's no need for her to go through so much good stuff, but, you know, Rarity. 
>You hear a loud pop in the other room quickly followed by a short squeal from Rarity. A minute later she comes out of the kitchen with more of the good stuff.
>"Done with another glass, are we?"
>You look down, and indeed you've finished off your, what, sixth glass tonight?

"I keep telling myself not to drink all of your expensive alcohol, but it's too damn good to pass up. I'll take a seventh, please."
>She elicits a short giggle before filling your glass to the rim, then doing the same with her own. She takes her seat next to you on the couch and tries to avoid looking directly at you while sipping on her drink.
>The two of you stay quiet for a while. You indulge all the senses with the smell of vanilla and Rarity's own perfume. The paintings and photos hung on Rarity's lavender walls. The subtle sounds of Rarity's quiet disapproval of the bitterness of her drink and her shifting in her seat.
>But of course, you have to be the one to break the silence.
"You know..." You look at your half full glass. "Too much of our history involves alcohol, you know?"
>"Mm, I do know. After all, all we seem to do is complain to each other about our grievances."
"True, but not always."
>Rarity thinks about it for a moment before smiling.
>"You're right, not always."
>Things fall quiet again before Rarity lets out a chuckle.
>"I still can't believe Pinkie thought we should be each other's special somep0ny's."
"I know, right?"
>"I can't even imagine you'd want to be with a... shallow... vulnerable pony, such as myself."
>You allow yourself a quiet chuckle before actually thinking about it. It hasn't really crossed you mind, but...
"You're right. I've never really wanted to be your special somep0ny."
>You feel Rarity sink into her couch a little, next to you.
"But, thinking about it now... I sure wouldn't mind giving it a shot."
>"What do y--"
>In a stroke of courage, you dare to place your lips upon hers. Not merely a peck, but an intimate, albeit brief kiss.
>Pulling away involves a lot of awkwardness. Your mind and body are now completely out of sync.
"That... came out of nowhere."
>"I... Anonymous,"
"Heh, let's just blame the alcohol on that one."

>"Y-yes... the alcohol." She looks at her own glass before downing the entire thing and refiling it.
>Things return to small talk rather quickly. You pull out all of your favorite jokes and funny stories to hopefully cloud the memory of your fuckup. It seems to do well enough as Rarity seems to be pretending it never happened.
>Quite some time later, you realize just how late it's gotten. Unfortunately, you do have work in the morning.
"Aah, shit. I hate to cut this short, but I really gotta go. I should have been asleep an hour ago."
>"Two hours ago, for me."
"Yeah, but you're your own boss."
>"Very true, I suppose this is goodnight then?"
"It'd say it's been pretty good. Till next time?"
>You rise to your feet, adjust your suit and tie, but a magical grip latches onto your sleeve.
"Something wr--Oh, yeah. I never came in an got that touched up, did I? I can come in Sunday if you're--"
>"Anonymous, I really... really wouldn't mind being your special somep0ny, either."
>Your eyes widen in surprise. You've both been drinking so this could be just a big drunken misunderst--
>Nope. Fuck thinking. She's pulled you in for a kiss. Her velvet lips and hot breath against your face have almost nullified your senses. But when she tries to invade your mouth with her tongue, you bounce back and push yourself away.
"Hold on. I'm... not sure if I'm comfortable with this."
>That horrified look on Rarity's face almost breaks your heart. 
"I-I'm not saying it's you. I'm... just worried we're too drunk to think this through."
>Rarity chuckles before pulling you in again. You're resistances are failing you as you fall victim to Rarity's passion. You join in the drunken slapping of tongues after little time until she pulls away from a breath.
>"Even... even if we regret this in the morning, or nothing comes of it aside from a hangover, at least we'll have something else to talk about other than our jobs.
>That night, you and Rarity got no further than the couch. Your drunken passions burned bright into the early morning before returning to a smoldering ember as you two of you slept quietly in each other's embrace.

Non-story-canon continuation. Ignore this if you'd like.

>The following morning after Hearts and Hooves, you somehow manage to stumble out of bed and waddle your lazy butt halfway across the room before the hangover hits you. To your surprise, it isn’t nearly as bad as you think it should be. Regardless, it sucks.
>The light clinking of plates and silverware distracts you from the woes of a headache and mild tummy rumblies. That’s probably Rarity, and knowing the classy lady she is she might be a little ticked you jumped her last night. Or was it her who jumped you? Man, you think it was 50-50. Still, Rarity can’t be happy about the whole thing.
>You step into the kitchen and lean against the door frame, watching Rarity go about her business in the kitchen. Despite your heavy footsteps and stumbling around, Rarity hasn’t noticed you. You weren’t in any rush to alert her. Afterall, the view is nice.
>Rarity’s butt, if you were being a little too vague. She has a great one. It’s like, really shapely. As in it’s shaped to compliment Rarity’s body, which it does well. 
>Rarity sighs.
>”Are you going to keep staring or are you going to wish me a good morning.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and good morning to you too.”
>She flashes a grin at you before returning to the dishes.
>”Terribly sorry about the mess. I suppose I didn’t really care much about cleanliness last night while in that state, but now that I’m sober... yech.”
“Heh. So... we gotta talk about last night.”
>Rarity sets a plate down a little too hard before turning to you.
>”Yes. Yes we do.”
“You wanna go first or--”
>”If you have something to say, I’d prefer you say it first.”
“Oooh, putting me on the spot. Alright, well... last night was pretty cool. And not just the... Ahem,”
>”Sex? Please, Anonymous. Sweetie Belle isn’t here.”
“Right, not just the rabid fucking we did until we both came enough to fill a tub.”
>Rarity purses her lips.
“You know, the whole hanging out thing like we normally do was pretty cool. Having someone to spend yesterday with was something I needed without even knowing it.”
>”... But?”
“But... I don’t know. I don’t think... we should really change our thing. I’m not looking for any kind of relationship and I’m not your type so... you know. Yeah.”
>”That’s... that’s what you needed to tell me?”
“Yeah.”
>”That’s... phew, that’s actually perfect. Because, because I was thinking the exact same thing.”
“Oh?”
>”Yes! Don’t misread me here, last night was wonderful and heavens knows I needed a good rutting.”
“Spread that around, will ya?”
>”Oh my, you’ll become a little too popular with the mares if I were to do that. I’ll keep it to myself.” You elicit a low grumble. “Back to my point, I simply don’t see us being anything more than close friends. I’m quite relieved you feel the same way. It makes everything much easier to break.”
“Yeah, that went smoother than I expected too.”
>”Yes, well... good.”
>Rarity clears her throat before an awkward silence falls between you.
>”Would you... like some breakfast?”
“I’d love some.”

>A few days later.
>You and Rarity are square. The awkwardness is gone and you have returned to your coexistence.
>Today, you’ve finally visited her to get your suits redone. You were stripped almost nude and forced to watch her sit and play with your clothes. You caught her glancing back every few minutes. It only makes sense. She’s forcing you to watch her do something boring and she needs to be sure you’re not bored out of your mind.
>But as she moved onto your pants, panic sets in as you remember forgetting something in them.
>”Hello? What’s this now?”
>Shit!
>Out of the back pocket, she pulls out a single polaroid photo, the one Pinkie took just a few days ago.
>”Oh my...”
“Er, yeah. Pinkie--”
>”This is a cute photo, don’t you think?”
>That wasn’t exactly the reaction you were expecting, but you actually didn’t know what to expect in the first place.
“Yeah, I guess.”
>Rarity titters to herself.
>”Look at us, we were so baffled when Pinkie Pinkie roped us together.” She chuckles to herself a little more. “... May I keep this? I know it’s rude of me to ask but--”
“Yeah go for it. I just brought it to show you anyway.”
>A white lie never hurts. And besides, you don’t really have much attachment to that photo anyway. Why you carried it around is still a bit of a mystery to you but you don’t feel like dwelling on it.
>Rarity sets the photo down on her workbench before turning back to the sewing machine. Within minutes she pulls something entirely new away and holds it up in front of you using her magic.
>”Ta-da~! How do you like it?”
“It’s... did you just make that on the spot?”
>”Of course not, I only needed your dimensions to make sure it fit the same. I’ve been working on this for weeks.”
“Wow... so that’s why you needed my clothes?”
>She peeks from behind the ensemble wearing a sly grin and half-lidded eyes.
“Right. Funny.”
>You get up from your chair and take the suit in your own hands. From a distance it would look the same but the differences are subtle and substantial at the same time.
>”I changed the material of the suit, giving it slightly more appeal to draw attention. the sheen on it is now a little greater than a matte and the stitching is now a little more active. The plastic buttons have been replaced with stainless steel, so have the cufflinks and pants button. There’s plenty more, but none I think you’d care to know.”
“This is great! I mean... wow. It’s a lot softer than my last suit.” You say under your breath as you stroke the collar.
>”Well go ahead now, try it on.”
>It’s on you in seconds. Not often are you so excited to try on new clothes but you try to milk the excitement for Rarity’s sake.
>The top pieces fit perfectly. You don’t think you’ll even have to break them in.
>The pants, however...
“Rarity, I don’t mean to offend but I think the pants are too small.”
>”Too small? No, no. Your leg and waist size hasn’t changed enough for that to be tight.”
“Well... it isn’t really my legs or waist.”
>A blush creeps along your face. Three days ago you were comfortable talking about anything involving your crotch with Rarity but after that, you silently agreed to yourself it’s a taboo subject.
>”Aha, I know exactly what you’re talking about.”
>She trots to your backside and inspects the pants for a moment.
>Before straight up putting a hoof on your ass.
“Ah! Hello back there!?”
>”Oh hush. I did make it tighter to reduce some very inappropriate sagging. It’s not uncomfortable, is it?”
“I... guess? I’m just not used to this. I’ve never been a tight pants guy.”
>”Well you’re going to become one. It looks spectacular on you. Just look at this.”
>She spins around to your front side and points directly at your crotch.
>”Previously, you had a large sag poking forward. Wasted cloth and it looks tacky. Now look at it. A simple, elegant flat surface. Small bulge notwithstanding. Erm... no offense.”
“Some taken.”
>”Buck up, then. I think you look dashing.”
“Well, if you think it looks good, then it looks good. Give me a day or two to get used to this and I’ll get over it.”
>”Excellent. Now did you want to go out for lunch? My afternoon is free and I could use company.”
“Rarity? Some time off? Absurd.”
>”Aha, it’s less about having time off and more about learning how to separate the rush jobs and the others.”
“It’s about time. Anyway, yeah I’d love to. My turn to pay?”
>”Indeed. Ooh, and... hm... your hair.”
“My hair?”
>”It could use some work.” Rarity levitates a brush and comb from somewhere out of your vision and approaches you.
“Rarity, it’s fine.”
>Flashbacks.
>Mom. Early in the morning with that comb.
>Millions died.
>No one else messes with your hair. Only you.
“Seriously, just give them to me and--”
>”Nonsense. It’ll only take a moment.”
“Rarity!” The brush approaches your head and you panic. “No!”
>You slap the brush away and it flies towards Rarity. She ducks just in time, but not without the brush taking a casualty of its own.
>A handful of Rarity’s hair was grasped by the bush as it flew by displacing it all into frizzy mess.
>You begin to laugh but it abruptly stops once you see the expression on Rarity’s face.
“Oh shit.”
>It’s a mixture of anguish, rage, and vengeance. And it’s all directed at you.
>She lifts the brush off the floor before beginning to slowly approach you with every hair styling utensil she can get her magic on.

>An hour later.
>You and Rarity doing some post coitus cuddling in her bed.
>Things are quiet for a while before you have to blurt something out.
“I really didn’t see that coming.”
>”You didn’t? The sexual tension between us was so thick it was nearly tangible... and I didn’t see it coming either.”
>The two of you silently hum in agreed confusion before falling quiet again. Rarity is the one to break it this time. Or rather, Rarity’s stomach grumbling.
“Me too.”
>”What?”
“I’m hungry too. We never got that lunch.”
>”Indeed we did not. Let me gussy up and you can finally do your own hair. Heavens knows if I try, we’ll be stuck here all day.”



>You are Anonymous. It has been a few months since you and Rarity have progressed into the 'with benefits' part of your friendship and things have been going smooth. Unfortunately, Sweetie Belle and the rest of the fillies have gotten out of school for the summer and she likes spending far too much time with Rarity, leaving you two little time for anything lewd. 
>So, this is day fourteen of your dry spell. So many people and ponies have gone through years of it but such an abrupt stop after frequenting Rarity's bedroom is a little jarring on the senses. Mainly, you just want to get off without touching yourself.
>But you're and adult! You can contain such urges and shove them into the back of your mind with great effort. 
>And with all those thoughts tucked away, you dress in some shorts and a white t-shirt before going outside into the heat. 
>It's a few minutes past noon, the ponies are enjoying the warm weather and the river running through the town looks more appealing than ever. But it's hot. So the first order of business should be obvious.
>Ice cream. 
>A couple bits and a short walk to Sugarcube Corner later, you have a two foot tall vanilla ice cream tower, all covered in a hardened fudge shell. 
>Hardly out of the ordinary if you've ever been to a traditional ice cream parlor. 
>After that, you wander around Ponyville as you whittle away at your ice cream tower. You catch a few giggle from passing ponies which you can't help but naturally return. 
>You finish the comically large ice cream treat after a long while and decide to crash by the river, under a tree. 
>The cool grass and the shade of the tree make for an extremely comfortable environment, making it easy to doze off. 
>Only a few minutes in, does someone begin calling your name. 
"Yeah, yeah," You mumble while rolling into your stomach. "I'm awake. What's up?"
>"Heh, what are you doin' sleeping on an awesome day like this?"
>Oh! You remember that raspy, tomboyish voice.

"Rainbow Dash?" You say through a yawn. "Hey, what's up?"
>You only know Rainbow Dash through association and from what you've heard about the elements. 
>"Not much, just saw you hangin' out and wondered what you were up to."
"Not a whole lot, as you can see. What about you?"
>"Me? Oh, uh... y'know, just flying around."
"I hear that."
>A momentary awkward silence falls between the two of you. 
>"... Hey! You want to go swimming in the river?!"
"Hmmm... I am pretty relaxed... But," You glance back at the river. "That cool water is awfully seductive. Eh, screw it."
>You push yourself to a sitting position and remove your shirt. You look down at your features and sigh. 
>You've gained a few pounds since you quit the mill. If it weren't for Rarity, you'd probably be a bit bigger by now. 
>Rainbow Dash flutters up next to you. 
>"Uh oh, I know that look."
"Do you?"
>"Yep! This will be your first day of getting back to your old self!"
"Wha--Hey!"
>Rainbow Dash begins your back. 
>"Get in that river, mister! Your waistline depends on it!"
>Rainbow Dash is strong but you're twice her size and sitting down. You're not budging. 
"Alright, alright. Just quit your pushin'."
>You stand up, making Rainbow Dash fall flat on her face before you wade into the river. The water is cool, but not too cold and only sends a shiver down your spine as it edges past your nethers and shoulders. 
>You sit and enjoy the feeling for only a moment before Dash cannonballs right next to you, splashing you with a cold wave of water. 
"Tch, ass."
>You splash a load of water on her as her head emerges. 
>She looks at you. 
>Then a huge grin spreads across her face as she glares at you. 
"... No."

>After a legendary splash battle with Dash, she constantly challenged you to races, breath holding contests and an assortment of other competitive trials which you barely kept up with. You're more out of shape than you thought. 
>Hours pass quickly and before you know it, the sun beginning to descend. You'd estimate another hour or so until sunset. 
"Alright Dash, I'm gonna call it. I look like a prune right now."
>"Yeah, I'm kinda burnt out on swimming too. Whaddya wanna do next?"
"Uh... Next?"
>"Yeah! Hey, you down for a few drinks?"
>Man, these ponies and alcohol. 
"Uh... sure. I can't stay too late though. I have work tomorrow."
>"That's cool. C'mon, I know a good place."

>Two hours later, you and Dash are seated in a Sports Bar. The place has okay beer and great food. Dash is already halfway blasted and you're still on your first mug of dark beer. 
>"Okay, this time... Lets race!"
"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't chug alcohol."
>"But iiiiit's fun!"
"People who chug alcohol are just looking for reasons to avoid talking."
>"Tch, did Rarary tell you that?"
"Yes, actually. Now c'mon, stop drinking for a sec and tell me about yourself."
...
>Another hour later, and you Rainbow Dash are walking out of the bar as Dash is finishing her joke. 
>"... And then, and then she said, "That's no frying pan, that's my cutie mark!"
>The two of you bust out laughing. 
"Oh man... Best joke I've heard in years!"
>"Hehe, right?!"
>The laughter settles between the two of you after a bit, then you realize it's getting late. 
"I hate to do this but I gotta get going."
>"It's cool dude. I should be heading back home too. Some other time?"
"Yeah, totally."
>"Sweet. And thank Rarity for me, would ya?"
"Sure... What for?"
>"She just told me that you would make a great friend for me, or something. I don't really know what she meant at first but I can see you're a pretty cool guy. Anyway, later!"
>Without another word, Rainbow Dash flies off into the night, leaving you with one worrying question. 
>Is... Rarity trying to pimp you off to her friends?


>Two days later. 
>Dash approached you during your lunch break just to chat. You're sitting outside the library, reading a magazine while munching on a cheese and lettuce sandwich. 
>"So, hey! A bunch of us are playing hoofball today. Wanna play?"
"Sure. What time?"
>"Around four."
"Alright. I won't be able to make it until five so go ahead an get started without me."
>"Awesome. And don't you dare skip out! We gotta bust your rump into shape!"
"Heh, for what?"
>"Oh... You know, just in general. To be healthy and happy and stuff."
"Makes sense."
>Bullshit. Rarity led her to you so you could totally get down with the Dash. But Rainbow Dash won't let a drop of cum inside her unless its from a ripped stallion. 
>Stupid Rainbow Dash. Stupid Rarity. 
>Oh, speak of the devil. Rarity trots on by with her nose to the clouds, followed by a muscular unicorn stallion with a chin larger than Trixie's ego.
>"Hey, Rare. Ooh, who's the stud?"
>"Ah! Hello, Rainbow Dash." She says, completely ignoring you. "This is just my new... Friend. Pierre."
>"Nice. Pleasure to meet ya, Pierre."
>"Mmm, the pleasure is all mine, Miss Dash."
>His voice is smooth as silk and sensual beyond words. 
>Fucking faggot. 
>Pierre and Rainbow Dash stare into each other's eyes for a few moments before Rarity clears her throat to get Pierre's attention. 
>He snaps his head and Rarity's direction before trotting to her side. 
>"Anyway, if you need us, we'll be at my boutique. Alone. All night. Mhmm. Yes, good bye, Rainbow Dash."
>"Yes, goodbye my Sweet Little Dashie and... Surprisingly handsome human."
>"S-see ya..."
>See ya, fucker.
>You wait until the two of them walk away before lightly pounding the table. 
"What the fuck was Rarity's problem?"
>"Yeah she kinda ignored you. What's up with that. And you know what else?"
"What?"
>"How did Rarity score a guy like that?! Did you see him?"
"I missed him behind his chin."
>"Ugh, he was like, perfect."

>"And it kinda ticks me off that Rarity can get any stallion she wants. Why is that? It's so dumb."
>Dash's words aren't helping the dilemma in your head. What WAS up with Rarity? She was being a total cunt, man.
>God damnit, you don't have time to think about this. 
"I'd love to stay and chat, Dash but I need to get back to work."
>"Alright. Later, dude."
"Peace."

>Later that day. 
>It's getting late and the hoofball game is coming to a close. You worked up quite a sweat as a grin reminder you haven't ran in a while. Damnit, Dash.
>You honestly wanted to skip out on it just to confront Rarity about today but you're still kind of fucking mad about her attitude earlier. But now that your mind has cleared up a bit, the curiosity is stronger.
>Once everyone has dispersed, Rainbow Dash approaches you. 
>"Phew, you did pretty good out there. I didn't think a pony could stop you but when you knocked that griffon on its butt! Phew, awesome."
"Yeah... Thanks."
>"Hey, something wrong?"
"Eeeh, the Rarity situation is still kinda pissing me off. I was thinking about going over there and seeing what's up."
>"Sweet, I'm down."
"Hm?"
>"Yeah! It sounds like my friends are having troubles and I wanna help."
"That's... Yeah. Lets go visit Rarity and her 'friend'."

>You're now sneaking in the bushes outside Rarity's house. You expected Dash to question it but she dived in rift after you. 
>You remain completely still and hold your ear close to the widow where you can hear voice inside. You can faintly make out the clinking of glasses while they laugh and talk. That bitch! Drinking with a different guy. That's your thing!
>"Ah, Miss Charity," You can make out most words. 
>"Rarity, dear."
>"Y-yes. Miss Rarity. You look positively immaculate tonight."
"Asshole." You whisper.
>"Yeah. Rarity is such a tramp. Sheesh." 
>Where'd that come from?"

>"Mmm, and your alabaster coat... Eeeugh. Sorry, dear. It's a little cold down here. Perhaps we could take this wine elsewhere. Perhaps... the bedroom."
>Fifty fucking red flags go up in your head. Hell no. 
"You hear that, Dash?"
>"Yeah! Rarity just met this guy and is trying to get him in bed!"
"Sure. I've got an idea. Do you know where Sweetie Belle is?"
>"Scoots told me she and the gang were having a sleepover at Appleblooms."
"Perfect. Get her, put her in the tree by the river where we swam a couple days ago then tell her to follow your lead. Then you need to follow my lead."
>"Uhhh..."
"We have to hurry!"
>"Right! On it!"
>Dash beckoned nothing more than a rainbow streak heading towards Sweet Apple Acres. You'll give her a few minutes before you set your plan in action. For now, you start listening inside again. 
>"Tsk, Pierre! Stop being silly."
>"O-oh... Of course. Here... have more wine."
>Rarity giggles some more, pushing you closer to the edge. 
>Pierre spends a couple more minutes tossing out cheesy compliments in an attempt to sleep with your friends before you decide to set your plan into action. 
>You spring out of the bushes and begin rapidly knocking on the door. 
"Rarity! Rarity!"
>It takes a minute but a disgruntled Rarity opens the door.
>"Oh, Anonymous. I didn't think you'd ever be knocking on my door since--"
"Trouble!"
>"W--"
"Sweetie Belle is in trouble!"
>Her eyes go wide with worry and her ear perk up. 
>"Where?! Where is she?"
"The river! This way!"
>You sprint off towards the river with Rarity in pursuit. Pierre, the little bitch, decides to follow while whining the entire way. 

>A few minutes later. 
>"I still don't know why I'm in this tree."
>Rainbow Dash shrugs. 
>"Neither do I. Just follow Anon's lead when you see him, alright."
>"Fiiine. I hope he shows up soon. This is boring."
>And then here you come, yelling and running like an idiot with Rarity in tow. 
>Both Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle notice you and exchange glances before faking distress. 
>Rarity sees through the facade instantly and slows her pace and adopts a confused look. Pierre soon comes stumbling in from behind before collapsing on the grass.
"Look! Sweetie Belle is stuck in a tree!"
>Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle all give you sideways looks.
"... And I was hoping we could use your magic to--"
>"Eeeh... Stop, please. Rainbow Dash, could you be a dear and get my sister out of the tree?"
>"Uh... sure?"
>Rainbow Dash gently lowers Sweetie Belle from the tree before rushing over to Pierre.
>"Whoa buddy, that wasn't much of a run. Don't tell me you didn't have to work for those looks."
>While Rainbow Dash nurses romeo over there, you keep close to Rarity for reasons you're not sure of.
>"Anonymous, could you be a dear and help me walk Sweetie Belle back to Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Uh... sure?"

>Sweetie Belle gives both you and Rarity a hug before skipping back to her confused friends to tell them about her weird night.
>So then it's just you and Rarity. The both of you remain quiet until you get halfway through town. Being you, you're the first to blurt something out.
"So, what the fuck is going on with us today? I pulled the wackiest, dumbest stunt a man like me could pull and you act like a total cunt for no god damn reason."
>Rarity just stares at you past her thick, curled hair.
"What?"
>"Every time I think you cannot be more vulgar, you go ahead and surprise me again and again."
"Yeah, well, I'm kinda pissed off at multiple things right now so... yeah!"
>"Well why don't you tell me why you did this silly stunt, hm?"
"Why don't you tell me why you were being such a bitch?"
>"I asked you first. And take a breath, dear."
"Fine... shit, fine. I guess I saw you all over your new fuckbud--... your new friend and you were being... screw it, you were being a huge bitch today and I got pretty upset. And when I went to your house earlier I heard you drinking with him and... I dunno. That's kind of... our thing."
>Rarity sighs and shakes her head.
>"So you were jealous of him?"
"Don't you word it like that."
>"But you were. It's good to know my 'bitch' skills are still intact."
"I bet you're soooo proud."
>"That was sarcasm, Anonymous. Regardless, I'm a little frustrated that you would call 'drinking' our thing when you're so keen on doing it with Rainbow Dash."
>You think for a few seconds and realize something. You're being a pretty huge hypocrite right now.
>"Oh yes, I saw you and Rainbow Dash yucking it up in that run down bar. I told myself, 'they're just in there having a little fun' but you know what, Anon?! I was jealous! I was so incredibly jealous and I hate myself for it! I WANT to be angry but I CAN'T be angry at you because I would HAVE to be angry with myself, as well! Ugh!"
>'It was just a few drinks', would be the response to come out of your mouth but who's to say it wasn't the same in Rarity's case.
>God damnit.
"... We're shitty friends, Rarity."
>"I suppose we are. Will you let it tear us apart?"
"Nah. You?"
>"Of course not. We just can't let silly things like this get in the way of our friendship."
"Yeah, guess drinking can't really be our thing. It's a little unfair to our other friends."
>"Mhmm."
"Besides, don't we have a new thing?"
>You and Rarity exchange glances and dancing eyebrows before meeting halfway into a sloppy kiss. Rarity is quick to break it off.
>"Er... shouldn't we take this to the boutique?"
"Oh, come on."
>You go in for another kiss and push her onto her back in the middle of the dirt road. She's somehow going along with it.
"What if I want to fuck things up a little more? Make you wake up in a dried puddle of your own juices off to the side of the road?"
>"Please, this is my only night away from Sweetie Belle. I REALLY need you to 'fuck' things up, if you catch my drift."
"Don't make puns while I work."
>Rarity chuckles to herself.
>"Fine, take me in public if you wish. Just find a grassy hill for me, would you?"
>You quietly sigh and get off Rarity. 
"As you wish, my queen!"
>you scoop the giggling Rarity up and whisked her off to the closest hill you knew of.
>Then you FUCKED under the stars.

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