- >Day "Fucking Raw" at Equestria High.
- >You get your double order like usual and head to the usual spot to hang with the group.
- >You are just about to sit down when you see a mob of camera-men come out of nowhere.
- >"What the hay?" asks Applejack.
- >Suddenly, Chef Gordon Ramsay comes out.
- >Rarity is going ga-ga over this.
- >Chef Ramsay just comes over and pops a squat right next to you.
- >"Excuse me, what have you got there?" he asks.
- Um... cheese pizza and cheese sticks. It's cheese day...
- >"Oh, i see... cheese day is it? Why don't i get myself a serving of both, shall i?" he says exiting from your premises.
- >He heads through the line, pushing kids out of the way.
- >He finally makes it to the head of the line, right in front of the lunch ladies.
- >They look hella nervous.
- >"I'd like both orders." he says looking at the judgingly.
- >They give him his food really fast.
- >He comes back, and sits next to you again.
- >He begins to eat it.
- >His face turns from monotonous, to pure disgust.
- >"Fucking hell."
- >Rarity swoons.
- >What the fucking shit?
- What's wrong dude?
- >"Look at this. This part isn't even cooked all the way."
- That's because it's stuffed crust... that's cheese.
- >He ignores you and continues to eat it.
- >He just keeps getting more and more disgusted.
- >He stops after the fifth curse.
- >He begins to eat the cheese stick.
- >"This is just unacceptable..."
- >Oh what now.
- >Chef Ramsay leaves the table again.
- >He heads to the Principal.
- >"Excuse me, are you the owner of this establishment?"
- >"Yes, why do you ask?"
- >"Come here, come take a look at this..." he says grabbing her and forcefully pulling her to your table.
- >What the fucking shit?
- >"You see this? What is this?" he asks blandly.
- >"Well, it is cheese day, so it's cheese sticks and cheese pi-"
- >"It's shit is what it is!" he says slapping a cheese stick to the ground.
- >"Excuse me?" asks Celestia a bit taken back from the outburst.
- >"You heard me, this establishment is serving shit!" another perfectly good cheese stick dies upon the floor.
- >"Mister ramsay i can assure you that our food is mad with care and re-"
- >"Excuse me, did you just say care? Take a look at this. You see this? What is this?"
- >"It's a pizza."
- >"Is that it? Is that what it is to you? LOOK AGAIN!" he says shoving it at her face.
- >She is once again taken back.
- >"FUCKING RAW! YOU CAN'T SERVE THIS!" he screams, flinging the pizza yet again at the floor.
- >"You expect people to eat this?"
- >"I-it is coo-"
- >"Are you seriously about to tell me it's cooked? Because it is NOT cooked. It's. Fucking. RAW!"
- Dude, chill the fuck out. it IS cooked.
- >Chef Ramsay doesn't pay attention to you.
- >Fucking hell man, what the fuck?
- Who invited this asshole?
- >"Asshole? Dahling, he is magnificent! I invited him to this school to improve on its terrible cuisine!" says Rarity.
- >All your love.
- >All your admiration for her.
- >Ded.
- >"B-but i l-like the pizza and ch-cheese sticks." says Fluttershy hiding behind her bangs.
- I do too Fluttershy. I do too. This guy needs to be taken down a notch. I need to make a call.
- >You take out your cellphone and call your uncle.
- >The coolest fucking uncle anyone could have.
- >Uncle Boyardee.
- Yeah, uncle? Some asshole chef is talking mad shit about the food you suggested for our school. Yeah. Yeah it's Ramsay. Great. Bye.
- >You hang up and smile.
- >"Wh-who did you talk to Norman... i-if you don't mind me asking..."
- My Uncle Boyardee.
- >"Oh my..."
- Yep.
- >Within seconds, the ceiling crashes in.
- >It's your uncle.
- >He makes cool entrances like that.
- >Chef Ramsay looks at him.
- >"And who are YOU supposed to be?"
- >My uncle only smiles.
- >"Oh, so you think you are a joker? Huh? Is that what you think you are? Fucking pathetic is what you are mate."
- >Chef Ramsay gets right up in my uncle's face.
- >Bad mistake.
- >Uncle Boyardee simply walks behind Chef Ramsay, takes hold of his waist in a tight grip, and does a german suplex.
- >Ramsay squeals like a bitch.
- >Uncle Boyardee just continues to do german suplexes, one after another.
- >He's like fucking King from Tekken or some shit.
- >Uncle Boyardee takes Chef Ramsay and does an izuna drop for a final attack.
- >You hear a crack.
- >Chef Ramsay has obviously just become a paraplegic.
- >Your uncle comes to a knee and looks at him in the face.
- >He just continues to smile heartily.
- >He comes in close and says "Chef's don't judge."
- >He walks away to leave Chef Ramsay to rot.
- >You go back to eating your lunch like normal.
- >Rarity is in complete shock that her idol got fucked up right in front of her.
- >You gain Fluttershy as a girlfriend.
- >You looks at Ramsay one last time.
- You are just lucky my Uncle Quaker wasn't here.
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My Uncle Chef Boyardee
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