Mad-Lips (get it, mad-libs? huehuehue)

>Day dating website at Equestria High.

>Be Norman.

>You just lost a bet.

>Now you have to do whatever Brad and Scott tell you.

Okay, what? You want me to do something like in Jackass?

>"No man. Something much worse." says Scott.

>Brad just starts chuckling like a shithead.

Ugh, fine, what do you want me to do?

>Scott takes out his laptop.

What, you gonna make me watch meatspin or something?

>"What's meatspin?" asks Brad.

>Oh, you are gonna get him back good.

>Scott gives you the laptop with a website already loaded up.

>It's...

>WhereBlackPeopleMeet.

Are you guys fucking retarded?

>They both bust out laughing.

I'm not doing this, i'm white. They would instantly kick me out.

>"You have to do it brah!" says Brad.

>"Yeah, you do this, or we put you on a christian dating site." says Scott bumping Brad's fist.

>Yeah, lets just do this.

>Christian people are hella cray.

>Alright, lets just...

>Wait...

>I HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS?

What the fuck? I'm not putting my own money in for this!

>"Dude, chill out. There is a free trial!"

Ugh...

>You press on, this is just so retarded.

>The second anyone sees your picture ,you are just going to get kicked off.

>You start with your profile.

>"Oh, let me handle this junk." says Scott pushing you out of the way.

Woah man, hold on! Dont go an-

>He doesn't listen and just types like a fucking machine gun.

>"Interests: playing video games all day."

>Well, that is kind of true.

>"personality: beta as fuck."

Oh come on, im totally not bet-

>"Beta afuck Norman." says Brad.

>"As fuck." says Scott.

Jesus christ.

>"What should we use for the picture?" asks Scott.

>"What about that one picture of him hiding in a locker?"

>"GENIUS!" says Scott rapidly trying to find it in his computers database.

>After five minutes of them fooling around on it, you have an account set up... well, a trial account.

Ugh... happy?

>"Yeah, cuz we are going to monitor your account!" says Scott.

What?!

>"Yeah, and we will also make you say stuff if you don't."

>"We're leaving now. the password is: normanisbeta69." says Scott.

Did Brad put in the 69?

>"Hehehe, yeah i did."

>Brad and Scott high five.

>"Oh, one more thing. If you change your password or delete your account, we are instantly setting you up on a date with elongated nipple polo coach's daughter." says Scott.

OH GOD NO.

>Scott and Brad get out of your house laughing their asses off.

>You go to your computer and log on to your account.

>Nothing has happened yet.

>Good.

>You really don't want to get in trouble.

>...

>You aren't beta though.

>You keep staring at the screen.

>Might as well do something with it.

>You send out some crappy one liners to random chicks who arent even around y-

*Bloop*

>...

>A message?

>Oh god...

>Here we go, lets go ahead and read it.

"It is very strange to see you here, but i am glad to know that you are interested dear."

>...

>Zecora?

>Oh fuck.

>You begin to type out: Hay, yeah, i got put in the bad spot of a bet. My friends forced me. It was either this or a christian dating site.

>You get a quick reply from her.

"I see, all is well, i just could not tell. Would you mind though speaking with me for a spell?"

>You reply back: Oh, yeah sure. I don't mind.

>You go back and forth speaking to her.

>With all the talking, you begin to learn more and more about each other.

>Turns out she is looking to go into a field of medicine after highschool.

>Thats actually pretty cool.

>she gives you another reply.

"It was nice talking, it was all very great, But it is my bed time now, and for school i can not be late."

>She ends it with a wink face.

>She knows you love wink faces.

>You reply with a "goodnight" and turn off your computer.

>Man, you can't believe you never talked to Zecora before.

>She is actually pretty neato torpedo.

>I mean, gee willikers, just reading her posts, you can feel her voice slithering through your ears like a river of sweet nothingne-

>Okay no, i'm taking things way too fast here. i gotta go to bed as well anyway.

>You tuck your shit into your amazing bed and get into sleeping like a god damn log.

----------

>*BRIIING*

>You smash your alarm clock.

>God you hate that fucking sound.

>You groggily get up, do your triple S's, and eat some breakfast.

>You get a text.

>It's from an unknown sender.

"It was great to chat with you last night, when at school we should both grab a bite."

>Okay yeah, that has to be Zecora.

>You wouldn't mind sitting next to her and talking it out some more.

>Shes actually a pretty darn swell gal, and you would totally give her back her handkerchief if she ever dropped it.

>...

>Jesus Christ, stop that shit Norman.

>You get into your car and drive off into school.

>You get that shit parked into you spot.

>#68

>Right next to Brad's.

>I swear, its like he HAS to have everything be related to 69'ing.

>You step outside and make your way inside.

>"CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE RACIST SCUM!"

Morning to you too Snow Shoveler.

>God you hate Snow Shoveler.

>Every fucking morning with that guy.

>You head on to your first class.

>History with Miss Cheerilee.

>That woman knows EVERYTHING.

>She is pretty cool too, because she just puts up interactive shit for the class to do.

>Every days ballin in Miss Cherilee's class.

>"Alright class, today we are going to learn about slavery."

>Everyone turns to look at you.

>Nevermind... today isn't going to be ballin.

>After the awkward as fuck history lesson, you make your way down the hallway to your next cla-

>"Hello Norman deary."

>You look to see Aryan Beauty walking up to you.

Oh, hay Rarity.

>Rarity and you have the same second period class.

>"Would you mind holding onto my books while i apply some make up?"

Ooh, um su-

>"Oh thank you Norman, here."

>She dumps like, three different 10 ton books into your arms.

>God, why did she not put the algebra and science book up?

>You begin to walk with Rarity to Reading/Study hall.

>You put your (and Rarity's) books down.

>You take your normal seat next to Rari-

>"Hello Norman, how do you do? Would you mind at all if i sat next to you?"

>Oh snap, its Zecora.

>You didn't know she had study hall.

Yeah, sure. I didn't know you had study hall.

>"SHHH!" shushes the librarian.

>"I thought of the same for you, though i usually get here earlier, and sit far away. Who knew." she whispers back.

>"Oh, Norman, you know Zecora?" whispers Rarity.

Oh um...

>Shit, you can't just tell her you have been recently speaking with her over that fucking dating website.

>What should i do?

>What should i say?

>"Norman and i have only been speaking recently. He is very nice, and acts like a gentleman to me." says Zecora smiling from her book.

>Rarity looks at Zecora.

>"Oh yes? A gentleman?" she asks looking at you.

>Do not gulp saliva, do not gulp saliva, do not gu-

*gulp*

>All hope has been lost.

>There is no redemption.

>"All of our Chats may have been short, but after one sentence, it was hard to abort."

>Oh now you just feel all mushy inside.

>you feel that it's actually time to study and shit, so you dive into your book.

>And day dream like usual.

>Damn it.

>Studying is hard as shit yo.

>Aint nobody got time for that.

 

>Be Rarity.

>Just be told that Norman is gentleman tier.

>How could you have not noticed?

>He does absolutly everything you ask of him.

>Of COARSE he is a gentleman.

>You need to get him, and quickly!

>Zecora seems to be eying him up a lot.

>You need to be cautious about this.

Say Norman, would you mind helping me with this problem?

>You say that and try to make it sound seductive.

>You really hope that sounded seductive.

>"Uh, sure, what do you need help with?"

Hmm?

>...

>OH YEAH, YOU ASKED HIM TO HELP YOU OUT WITH SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN'T NEED HELP WITH.

O-oh, never mind darling. I've got it now.

>"Oh. Okay then."

>"Actually, if you do not mind. I require assistance of your kind." asks Zecora.

>Oh shoot!

>Flirting is hard when you actually want to get with someone!

>Maybe this is punishment for all the boys you led on.

 

>Be zecora.

>Everyone thinks you rhyme just because it is fun.

>In all actuality, you do this when you are nervous.

>Which is all the time.

>Your doctor said it was fine, and just a defense mechanism.

>It's still really embarrassing when trying to talk to boys.

>Norman seems to just treat it like it's normal though.

>That's actually very sweet of him.

>He is currently helping you on a problem, and doing a very good job at actually teaching you something.

Why thank you Norman, you are so helpful. You make me happy and so very thankful.

>Oh you really wish you could stop.

>"O-oh... no problem. Any time Zecora."

>Husbando tier of the year.

>For all years.

>Study hall goes on for quite some time before the bell rings.

I guess it is lunchtime, for the line we must rush, else we get stuck in the very back with all the trees and brush.

>"Yeah, i hate the cafeteria lines. Specially on cheese day. We gotta hurry." he says.

>You both grab your books and hurry down to the cafeteria.

>"W-wait Normie-poo! I will come as well." says Rarity coming straight up to him and holding his arm.

>Now hold on.

>Is she flirting with him?

>That is not good.

>That is not good at all.

>YOU are flirting with Norman.

>Well... trying to...

>You are not so good at competition.

>Everyone thinks you would be good at womens basketball though.

>Haha.

>No.

>You have to get Norman before Rarity does...

>Oh this will not bode well.

>You make it into the line with Norman behind you.

Cheese day is quite nice. With the pizza have you ever gotten more than one slice?

>"Yeah, i always pay for double. I have a high metabolism. Kinda need to eat two servings... even though its morel ike 5." he says laughing nervously.

>"High metabolism? How interesting! Tell me more." Says rarity.

>"Um... there isn't much more to talk about. I just have a high metabolism."

>Rarity bites her lower lip in embarrassment.

>"O-oh... i see..."

>Be Norman.

>Be hugged on by Zecora and Rarity.

>What the god damn shit is going on.

>The last time this happened is when you went to that anime club that one time at your old school.

>Girls are mad weird son.

>You get your double order of pizza and cheese sticks like normal, and head to the usual tabe-

>"Oh Norman, if you would not mind, could you sit with my group? I think you will see that they are very kind."

Oh sure... i don't mind.

>Wow... sitting at a different table. this is new.

>"Hay insn't that the racist?" asks some girl.

Aaaand now i'm leaving.

>"Wait Norman, she does not know. Please stay and let your true self show."

>...

Ugh.... fine.

>You sit at the table.

>Rarity sits next to you.

>So does Zecora.

>"So ARE you racist?" asks the same girl.

No, im not. Fucking Cumslut Shitters pinned that on me.

>She busts out laughing.

>"Wow... you're okay guy. So, Norman right? My name is Vinyl Scratch. This here is Ditsy Doo, Roseluck, Golden Harvest, and Octavia."

Nice to meet you all.

>They all nod at you while eating their food.

>"I can't believe you aren't racist." says Roseluck.

I wish everyone at this school could say that.

>"Oh, i know exactly how you feel Norman." says rarity.

>She does?

You do?

>"Yes, someone once said that my clothes were bad! *Scoff*. Can you believe that?"

Oh...

>She doesn't.

>Lunch goes by.

>Classes go by.

>Day just goes by really god damn fast.

>Now you are walking outside.

>"Norman, this question i can not hide. Do you think i could bum you a ride?"

>Zecora asking for you to drive her home?

>Hell yeah.

>Just gotta act alpha as fuck.

O-oh, um sure.

>Nailed it.

>She smiles and follows you into your car.

>You drive off to see rarity chasing after you.

>Woah, chasing?

>What?

Hold on, Rarity is trying to catch up to us i think.

 

>Be Zecora.

>No.

>No man.

>This isn't cool.

>You had him.

>Why is she trying this hard?

>Rarity comes to Normans window.

>"Oh Norman, my mother can't come pick me up, do you think you could drive me home?"

>"Um, sure, but what about Sweetie Belle?"

>"Oh, she is riding the bus."

>:"Oh? When did she start doing that? I thought she normally rides with you and your mom."

>"Er... um, yes, but she said she was going to start to-"

>"Isn't that your mother's car pulling up and honking?"

>Rarity looks to the back.

>She sulks.

>"Erm... yes. I suppose it is. I was mistaken i guess. B-bye Norman. Bye Zecora." she says ending it with a cold tone.

>Whew, thats great.

>Now it's just you and Norman.

>"So where do you live?"

Oh, it's just North of here, and to the left of Crikendere.

>"Oh, okay." he says smiling.

>The car ride to your house is very long and awkward.

>You want to say something, but you also don't want to rhyme.

>Lets just try.

So Norman... wh-what did you think of my group? Where they to your liking?

>Don't rhyme.

>DON'T RHYME.

Where they your kind of troop?

>DAMN.

>EVERY TIME.

>"Oh yeah, they were nice. I can see why you hang out with them. You must be good friends."

Oh yes, we hang out all the time. It is great to spend my days with them. They always keep me in my prime.

>Another five minutes pass, you are actually at your house right now.

>He pulls in and brakes the car.

>"Well Zecora, i had a great day with-"

>You dive over to his side of the seat.

>You kiss him.

>You sit back down.

>"You..."

I- am am so sorry Norman, i did not mean to be so forward. B-but, you have treated me so nicely, i could not bare it, i was being tortured. You make me feel like i am normal.... i am sorry for being so informal...

>You get out of the car.

>You feel your face getting really hot.

>You hear a door open.

>You look back to see Norman.

Norman i-

>He kisses you.

 

>Be Norman.

>Bitch thought a small kiss was enough for the Norm.

>Bitch was wrong.

>You mac on her face like dad when he is eating a sandwhich.

>With god damn care.

>You savor this kiss.

>After a half minute, you part it.

So, boyfriend girlfriend?

>"B-boyfriend girlfriend." she agrees.

See you tomorrow boo.

>She smiles and heads inside her house.

>You start up your car and drive on home.

>Oh shit...

>You did NOT just call her "boo".

>God damnit Norman, you fucked it all up.

>You had one job Norman.

>ONE JOB.

>Oh well, at least you have tomorrow to come up with better shit for her.

>You might as well tell Brad and Scott you actually got a girlfriend out of all this bullshit.

>They'll be all like "Yeah, we planned this from the beginning."

>Fuck then, they know they didn't.