Life as Mister Normal 3

So then, how was your first day of working at soni-

>"WHY WOULD PEOPLE TELL ME THEY WANTED ONE THING, AND THEN YELL AT ME SAYING THEY WANTED SOMETHING ELSE WHEN THEY GET THEIR ORDER? IT MAKES NO SENSE!"

Ah, good old sonic. Besides that, how was it?

>"Everyone there is pretty nice to me."

They should be. My coworkers are the best... sometimes.

>"Sometimes?"

Just watch out for Mitch. He's an asshole.

>"Oh, THAT guy..."

What did that asshole do?

>"He kept flirting with me, it was rude and... disgusting."

That dude needs to burn his fedora, i swear he would be a completely different person if he didn't wear that god damn fedora.

>"Well, enough of my day. How was your first night working overtime as a tutor?"

It was pretty good. Everyone was just having trouble with tiny things. After i thought them all and made sure it stuck with em, i let them play war.

>"WAR?!"

Not that kind Twi. It's a game where you set two teams inside a class, build a fort with your sides desks, and throw paper balls at one another. It was great.

>"You let them do that?"

Yep.

>"My Celestia would have NEVER let that happen."

I have to ask Twi, what made you think of staying? Why didn't you go back to your world?

>"I... i um... it's just that. I don't know."

Was it the nervousness of not wanting to be a princess? Did you just want to stay being human?

>"I guess a little of both. Humans are... attractive." she says blushing.

I can't believe a pony just said she likes how humans look.

>"Oh it's not that bad. in my world, interspecies marriages are okay."

>If you had just drank something, you probably would have just did a spit take.

>"I'm serious. Griffons and ponies get married all the time."

That's crazy. If some dude said he was gonna marry a pony here, he'd get arrested.

>"WHAT? WHY?"

Beastiality.

>"What?"

You know... when a human... uh... never mind. I'll let you just google that later.

>She rolls her eyes.

I'm guessing you already had dinner at sonic?

>"Yeah... i'm really tired now. I'm gonna go to bed."

Night Twi. I'm gonna stay up just a little bit longer.

>"Okay Norman... *yaaaawn*, don't stay up too late." she says going to her room.

>You stay up to begin looking into what you and Miss Cherilee are going to be teaching tomorrow.

>it's just the usual stuff, but it's better to keep on top of this kind of shit. You've seen Cherilee on her off days.

>She's all tired and barely teaches and just nods off at some point.

>You wonder what keeps her up so late at night.

--------------------

 

>Well guess what.

>She's having one of those days.

>She looks groggy as fuck.

>"And as you can see on page... zzzzzzz-"

I guess that's my que. Guys, lets just continue reading, but quietly.

>"What about Miss Cherilee?"

Let's let her sleep. We all know she deserves it.

>They all nod and get to reading.

>you take off your blazer and gently drape it over Cherilee, like a cover.

>She snuggles into.

>My teacher can't be this cute.

>"Mr. Normal, are you going to be tutoring again tonight?" asks a student.

Yeah. Most likely. Save up on your paper though, last time Celestia almost came in and busted us.

>The class giggles.

Shhh. You guys get to work, i'm gonna go ahead and write down your assignments on the board.

>You write down what chapters they need to read, and what things they need to write down.

>The class goes about the day either reading or asking you questions about the book.

>The bell rings, and Cherilee sits up quickly.

>"AND IN CONCLUSION... um... what's going on?"

>The kids giggle.

Don't worry Cherilee, go back to sleep. I had class covered for.

>She looks at you, and then to your blazer and blushes.

>All the kids leave the room and say goodbye to you and Cherilee.

>You close the door.

>"You should have woke me up." she says putting your blazer on your chair.

What keeps you up so late at night if you don't mind me asking?

>"I um... kind of mind." she says turning her head.

>Um... okay.

Well then off that subject.

>"Sorry..."

No no, its okay. I'm just worried about my favorite teacher is all.

>She blushes.

>"You keep calling me that."

Well you are. You work so much harder than the others.

>"And how would you know that?"

Call it insiders knowledge.

>She looks puzzled.

>Good.

Anyway, what did you pack for lunch?

>"Oh crap..."

Didn't pack lunch?

>"No..."

Well that's okay, i usually bring enough for 2 people. You can share if you don't have any allergies to mushrooms or dairy.

>"Th-thank you, but what about your metabolism? Won't you be hungry though? I know you eat two servings all the time."

Nah, i can spare to wait a while to eat more. Nothing to it. So you like Alfredo?

>She nods and walks with you to the cafeteria.

>You both chat along the way about how class went while she was asleep and how your tutoring has been going.

>When you finally make it to the cafeteria, you see some shit going down.

>It's a fight.

>"Oh my! W-we hardly get any fights!" says Cherilee covering her mouth.

>You walk forward towards the fight that people are rooting for.

>It just seems to be two gir-

>Oh my god thats sunset.

Break it up! Now!

>You push the two girls away from each other.

>Why is Sunset doing this? She just got the second chance she needed with that one group.

>And who's this other girl?

>"You turned weak Sunset!" says this bitchy looking girl.

>"That's not true, Sunset was strong enough to step up for Zecora when you pushed her down." says Vinyl.

>You look at Sunset with a smile.

>Atta girl.

>You lean over to her.

Whos this girl?

>"Her name is Firesetter. She's always starting flame wars like this." grumps Sunset.

I'm glad to hear that you are standing up for what is right, but how about you let me take care of this from here?

>You pat her on the head and move over to Firesetter.

I'm getting an awful lot of suggestions that YOU started this little skirmish.

>"Yeah, and what if i did? All you're gonna do is give me detention for awhile." she smirks.

Detention? I was leaning more on the thought of expulsion.

>"Wha-wha-"

Yeah, i think this could be counted as a hate crime. We're gonna have to go see the principal about this aren't we?

>She is freaking out.

>Soooo cool.

>Being a teacher rocks, you can instill fear into anyone without lifting a fucking finger.

Now come on, i have food to eat.

>You grab her by the ear.

>Man you've always wanted to do that.

>Cherilee follows after you.

>"You sure cleared that up quickly. She started it?" she says looking at Firesetter.

Yep. Lets take her to the table, i'm sure that the gang and the principal JUST got here. There they are!

>You walk up to the teachers group and tell them everything that happened.

>Principal celestia looks furious at first, but then calms down.

>She takes Firestarter bye the ear and heads to her office saying "I'll be back in a moment. Eat without me."

>You and Cherilee sit at the table and you share your lunch with her.

>"You two know faculty dating is against the rules." hyucks up the same dude you won a bet against.

We arent dating, she just needs food.

>"I dunno Norton, with the way you were treating her on parent teachers night, id say you two were dating."

>"W-we're not dating Gerald. W-we're just good friends." says Cherilee.

>The whole table starts hyucking it up.

>Poor Cherilee, you bet she gets picked on the most at this table.

>Lets change that.

Yo, whats up with the reindeer tie?

>"Wh-what? I-it's wacky tie day..." says "Gerald".

Wacky tie huh? Why didn't you just put on a tie that looked like your face?

>OOOOOOOH #SICKBURN.

>#REKT.

>#HASHTAG.

>Everyone starts hyucking at Gerald now.

>"Oh yeah newbie? Well you've been wearing the same clothes for the past couple of days!" he says smirking.

Doesn't mean i don't clean them. More than i can say for your undershirt. You got a stain there buddy.

>He looks down to see a mustard stain... if that is mustard...

>Celestia makes it back to the table.

>"Sorry about that. So Norton, you seem to be bonding with this school at an alarming rate." she says finally getting to eat.

Well, i don't know why, but it's just coming naturally.

>"I see, well i hope you stay on such a steady roll for awhile longer. The S.F.Y. is this Friday." she says taking a bite of her salad.

>Oh fuck, the scored final of the year.

>It's basically this school version of the state test that ever school has to do.

>AND IT'S ON FRIDAY!

>"If what Sherry has told us about you, then the students will be most likely be making the highest scores. Yes?"

I-i'll try my best.

>"That's good to hear." she says giving one of those smiles.

>That smile is the most creepiest thing in the fucking world.

>That's basically the "i just got what i wanted" smile that all women make.

>I shudder every time i see it.

>It's like all went according to keikaku.

>You and Cherilee eat your damn alfredo.

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>Once school ends, you say goodbye to all the kids in the class.

>You start to close the door an-

>"Oh, um, excuse me. Mr. Normal?" asks Octavia.

Oh? What is it octavia?

>"Would you mind... coming to my concert later tonight?" she says handing you a ticket.

>You are shocked.

I... i uh... wow.

>"Oh... i-it's okay i-if you don't want to go..." she says sadly.

>You think you remember sometime in your group hearing that Octavia's mom or dad are never able to be there for her.

No no no, i'll go, just let me make a quick call.

>"A-are you sure Mr. Normal? I don't mean to-"

Shhh now. I'm making a call.

>She smiles.

>You call twilight.

>"Hello." she says over the other end.

Hay, i'm gonna be going to a concert.

>"What about your tutoring?"

Huh, good point, Octavia, when is the concert?

>"I-it's at 9." she states.

Oh, cool i can make it there then.

>She looks giddy.

>"Well, if you are going to be late, i will just make dinner by myself." says Twilight.

Oh hell no, i don't trust you with fire whatsoever. You order a pizza, you got that?

>"I CAN cook you know." she grumps.

Yeah, fire. I've seen you cook.

>"ONE TIME."

Ugh, just order a pizza, please?

>"Fine, but tomorrow, i'll show you i can cook!"

And i will be joyful, but only until then. Over and out.

>"Bye."

>You hang up.

Looks like i can go.

>She glomps you.

>"Danke sehr!" she says crushing you and then running off.

>Wow... that was a moment.

>OH FUCK, TUTORING!

>You charge down the main hall like a fucking tank and slide into room 367.

>"Woah, Mr. Normal! It's just tutoring!" says one of the kids stepping inside after you.

Oh god i thought i was late, i had the greatest fear.

>"Why?"

Well for starters, Celestia would kill me if i missed one of these. S.F.Y.'s are coming up.

>Everyone gasps.

Now now, don't freak out. That's MY job. Besides, from so far, i can see all of you are apt learners. We just gotta... cram a little more than usual is all.

>Everyone groans.

But that means more fun too.

>"Why?"

Well, guess what the best teacher in the world just hooked you all up with?

>"What Mr. Norma-"

I said guess, not ask me for the answer.

>They roll their eyes.

>"More war?"

Nooooope.

>"Well we're out of ideas."

COMPUTER CLASS!

>Class gets hype.

FOLLOW ME TO FUN!

>They follow you to fun.

>They all sign in on their own accounts on the computers.

Alright guys, just like last time, you only get to have fun after you've done all your work. Lets try and get through this as fast as we can alright?

>"YEAH!" they all say.

Okay, but you know... also learn some stuff too.

>They all laugh and get to the assignment you have written on the white board.

>Basically its like ABCMouse, but for highschoolers.

>That way they at least get to have a little fun.

>Besides, they have this one game on there that is basically tetris.

>Tetris is the shit.

>You walk around the computers once and awhile to check up on everyone's progress.

>It seems as though they know their shit.

>That's good.

>Really good actually, it means you don't have to teach THAT much.

Alright class, hands off keyboards and mouse. Send in what you got. Grades'll be sent to me and i can tell who can play and who needs to study a bit more.

>Thank god for technology, you would hate to grade all this shit.

>After a minute, you get everyones grades.

>Everyone basically made A's and B's...

>Well except one kid.

Alright everyone, have fun. Axel, can i speak to you for a second?

>Axel shows up in front of you.

>Like in a split second.

>Weird.

Um... it seems you aren't doing so well on the geometry.

>He nods.

Well uh... how about we go fix that.

>He nods.

>This kid is the fucking weirdest.

>Whatever.

>I'm gettin' the mun-muns.

>You help this kid with the sunglasses and the peach fuss out.

>The reason he isn't doing so well is because he's too busy reading up on the rules of school.

>This fucking kid.

Just... i dunno, do whatever until its time to go.

>"But sir, it's time to go." he says.

>You snap your head towards the clock.

>...

>Fuck man, teaching sucks up time like a bitch.

>Like.

>A.

>Bitch.

--------------------

 

>Car.

>Drive.

>Concert.

>Door.

>Sit.

>Wait.

>Waiting.

>FUCK HOW MUCH MORE WAITING?

>You've never been to a concert before, so the wait is killing me.

>OH GOD IT'S STARTING!

>You shoosh the person besides you for no reason and watch the show.

>You see Octavia in the center in a very pretty dress and a microphone.

>Is she gonna sing? You didn't know she sang.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGD72gpF168

>B-but...

>Muh feels...

>Why would you do this to me Octavia?

>Why?

>I didn't come here expecting some feels man.

>Such a sad.

>Much frown.

>Music ends.

>People clap.

>They all bow and go on to the next song.

>Hopefully this will be a bit happier than the last o-

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kua_iJ4bAmo

>...

>Fuck.

------------------

 

>You meet Octavia backstage.

Wow, if i had known you were gonna be singing such songs, i would have brought tissues.

>"Y-your words are too kind Mr. Norma-"

I mean it man, you made me cry.

>Not cool dawg.

You did great out there.

>She begins to smile.

So then, who's picking you up?

>"I have a ride waiting for me outside."

Want me to walk you out?

>"That would be nice. Thank you."

No problem.

>You walk with her down the steps and towards the back door.

>Once outside- HOLY FUCK IS THAT A LIMO?

>"You are shocked i see."

Very.

>"I am from... that sort of family as you can see."

Well i can tell you have a great future ahead of you.

>She frowns.

I'm talking about the music dummy.

>She looks back at you.

I know a persons real goals when i see them Octavia. Keep doing what you love.

>She gives you a big hug and then heads to the limo.

>"I will be seeing you in class then." she says waving.

See you tomorrow Octavia.

>You smile.

>What a sweet girl.

>...

>Woah Norman, you're thinking like you're older than her.

>Well i mean NOW you're older than her, but you still have the mind of when you were 17.

>Fucking magic...

>Welp, better get home.

>You drive home on an uncrouded highway.

>You open the door.

>Get on the floor...

>BECAUSE THERE IS A FUCKING FIRE IN THE KITCHEN.

TWILIGHT WHAT THE FUCK?

>"YOU WERE RIGHT NORMAN, YOU WERE RIIIIGHT!" screams twilight blowing everything she can see with a fire extinguisher.

FUCKING HELL TWILIGHT I FUCKING TOLD YOU.