Good Deeds Anon 0- setting the stopwatch (fixed)

youre a man of many things, but you arent a good man. youve done some terrible shit in your life time that would make the world turn on you if they knew you did it.

 

god you cant even count how many bad things youve done, even if you tried. that kind of pisses me off really. who cant remember all the shit theyve done?

 

well... apparently you cant.

 

it seems we are stuck in a situation where life is going into slow motion.

 

like you know how people say "your life flashes before you die"? bullshit.

 

literally right now, i must be having so much adrenaline being pumped into me right now that im hyper aware or something like that.

 

... why did this fucking little kid have to go into the fucking road?

 

why did i feel the need to save her?

 

its not like me... honestly it isnt. i would have just minded my own business like usual if i hadnt have noticed.

 

youre pushing her out of the way of a 18 wheeler right now. yep, this is definitely going to kill me.

 

i guess its what i deserve though... shitastic.

 

welp... time is starting to speed up again... here we go.

 

*SKEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRCRUNCH*

 

.............

 

well wuddya know... ghosts do exist. and im one of em.

 

>man, that truck fucked up my body.

 

???:hmmm, a last second good deed?

 

a womans voice? you look around to see no one talking to you, just some people gathering around your dead body. they are all blabbing, so you guess it could have been one of them.

 

???:what made you do it?

 

there it is again... thinking about this voice it has some... echo to it. like what you hear when a cartoon character is thinking.

 

???: cartoon character? you may be a man, but you have the mind of a child sometimes, i swear.

 

>alright, who the fuck are you?

 

???: im just part of an organization meant for... reorganizing, so to speak.

 

>... you an angel?

 

???:do you believe in angels?

 

>i believe that theres got to be something or someone who created all of this shit, so yeah, i guess i do now.

 

???: then lets say im an angel.

 

>huh... i guess this is the part where i go to hell?

 

???: thats not how it works believe it or not.

 

>what, yall dont have hell?

 

???: well, we dooooo.... buuuut this case is special.

 

>how so?

 

???: well, i mean, look at what you did.

 

>what... so i saved a girl and now i get to go to heaven even after all the bad shit ive done?

 

???: weeeeell... nooooooo...

 

>then what?

 

???: listen, youve committed exactly 100 bad deeds in your life. 100.

 

>"bad deeds"? you mean sins?

 

???: once again, thats not how it works. all this religion on earth got it all mixed up. like, have you ever played that game where you get a whole bunch of people and whisper a certain phrase, and then the next person would have to do the same to the next and so on?

 

>yeah?

 

???: then you know what happens in the end right?

 

>yeah, some fucktard fucks everything up on purpose because hes a di- ooooh. so youre telling me that some fucktard fucked every religion up at some point?

 

???: exactly. originally, we had it all set, and then some guy would come around and mess it all up, so then we would try again at a completely different location, and then again, it would happen.

 

>so how come yall didnt just come to earth to-

 

???: thats not how it works.

 

>... so getting back on subject, whats going to happen to me?

 

???: well like i said. youve committed exactly 100 bad deeds. then, out of nowhere, you commit a good deed.

 

>get on with it.

 

???:hold your horses, im getting to it. you see, the boss says that anyone that hits 100 bad deeds or higher go to purgatory for awhile. but you hit exactly 100.

 

>GET ON WITH IT!

 

???: you know, if you had only committed 99 you would have gotten into your own version of heaven?

 

>i swear if you doing get to the fucking point-

 

???: anyway, exactly 100, and with one good deed to boot. so, we are going to do a... redo of some sorts.

 

>a redo?

 

???: yeah. a redo. first off, we are going to send you to an alternate universe, so lets get right on that.

 

suddenly you are in a grassy field.

 

>where are we?

 

???: where are YOU... is what you should be asking. im kind of like onstar, but in a metaphorical sence... whatever.

 

>jesus christ...

 

???:okay, that actually happened

 

>jesus?

 

???: well yes and no. she wasnt called jesus.

 

>SHE?

 

???:seriously, the bible was going so good in the first couple of years, and then some jerk had to rewrite it.

 

>whatever, where am i?

 

???:weve sent you to a randomly chosen alternate universe. this one is... oh... ohohohohooo...

 

>what? whats so funny?

 

???: do you watch my little pony?

 

>my little what now?

 

???:hohohohohoho...

 

>oh my god... whats this all about?

 

???:well, in your universe, it was a show for little girls... and guys above the age of 20.

 

>oh that nonsense. so what, youve sent me into a world with colorful ponies?

 

???: weeeeeeeeeell... yes and noooo...

 

>what now?

 

???: well in this universe, they arent exactly ponies.

 

>...

 

???: see, they look like humans, but they address themselves as ponies. even the other creatures in the show that could talk look like humans.

 

>okay, so then its not that bad. ill just be living in some fru fru land as a kid.

 

???: ...

 

>right?

 

???: weeeeeeeeeeeell...

 

>son of a bitch, what now?

 

???: see, when i said redo, i didnt really mean REDO. its more of like... a second chance from where you last left off really. you are going to be the same age.

 

>okay then. still 23. that all?

 

???: well you havent let me explain the rules.

 

>there are RULES? you HAVENT explained the RULES?

 

???: yes, there are rules, and no, ive only told you whats going on and where you are.

 

>is this going to take another hour?

 

???: all my explanation from then to now has only been 7 minutes... oop... 8 minutes. watch just updated.

 

>get to the point... again.

 

???: okay. so you have done 100 bad deeds.

 

>not this shit again...

 

???: you are to do 100 good deeds.

 

>... thats not so bad.

 

???:within 100 days.

 

>thats not so bad either.

 

???: or you die and go to purgatory.

 

>thats not so ba-

 

???: for 100 infinities.

 

>... what?

 

???: you heard me.

 

>i thought you said that anyone who goes to purgatory is only there for a little while.

 

???: that is a little while.

 

>i dont know how 100 infinities work, but that is NOT just "awhile".

 

???: your scientists thought infinity meant forever, and in a way it does, but once you have known what forever is, that will have been one infinity. so your punishment is to be there for 100 infinities.

 

>god this is hurting my brain.

 

???: so are we clear? 100 good deeds within 100 days?

 

>yeah yeah...

 

???: oh, 2 more things before i send you out there.

 

>what now?

 

???: i guess 3 things really...

 

>oh here we go...

 

???: 1- everyone already knows you in ponyville.

 

>what?

 

???: and they all hate you.

 

>WHAT?

 

???: yeah, you see, in this universe, you are just as bad as you were in your world... well except for that you havent committed any crimes here. you were just a jerk to everyone.

 

>i thought you said this was a second chance from where i left off?

 

???: weeeeeeeell....

 

>fine, whatever.

 

???: thats not a whatever anon, that means its going to be that much harder on you to commit good deeds here. you are going to have to gain their trust.

 

>just get on to the next thing.

 

leyel: well then, im going to tell you my name. it is leyel.

 

>why are you telling me your name?

 

leyel: thought i might as well tell you my name. its only the nice thing to do.

 

>ugh... whats the last thing?

 

leyel: im not the only one that going to be watching you. there are more just like me who are watching.

 

>w-what?

 

leyel: this is a trial, so there must be judges.

 

>... okay. ill except that... lets get started alrea-

 

leyel: oops, one last thing.

 

>if i saw you right now i would seriously punch you in the throat.

 

leyel: you can only do 1 good deed a day. have fun!

 

>WHAT?

 

...

 

>LEYEL TELL ME WHAT THE SHIT YOU JUST SAID AGAIN!

 

...

 

so she finally stopped talking to you, just after saying all that mess.

 

great.

 

you might as well walk forward now, and get all this junk started.

 

-------------------------------------

 

walking forward for about 4 minutes or so, you come to a place called ponyville, just like leyel said.

 

the second you enter, everyone glares at you. just fucking great.

 

god this is going to be a rough road ahead of me...

 

youre name is anonymous. you have done some terrible shit, and now you are in hell.